How People Start Listening Chapter 39: Breaking Up and Making Up, a glee fanfic

Author's Note: Check out "These Words" by Natasha Bedingfield if you didn't do it last chapter. Specifically the US version of the video if you're curious about the boombox with legs. They're kind of adorable.

Also, I borrowed, like, half an idea (basically some wording) from icewaterdrive's amazing story "It's Not Like I Wanted This To Happen". If you've read it you may know what I'm talking about when you see it. And to ice, sorry I didn't ask permission beforehand, but thank you and I hope you're not mad at me for borrowing (stealing, whatever).

And if you haven't read that story, shame on you, reader. Go read it right now.

As always, thank you for reading. Your kind words and appreciation for this story is the reason I write it.

Santana sat in Glee the next morning with the worst feeling of dread she could ever remember having. And this was a girl that didn't really fear anything. Sure, her mom on the rampage freaked her out. As did one-on-one sessions with the insanity that was Sue Sylvester. But this? Mentally preparing to sing to Brittany, to come out to the Glee club and, through them, probably the rest of the school… It was worse than when she'd tried out for the Cheerios the summer before her freshman year.

This was pain, slow and excruciating. It was pure shaking, vibrating nerves rattling through her body to the point that the ceaseless tapping of her foot against Quinn's chair in front of her had already caused the blonde to look back once and stare at her.

"What is your problem?" Quinn whispered back at her.

"Nothing, Cap" Santana said, again looking at the clock on the wall before also checking her phone to make sure that time was right. She and Rachel had decided on the brunette coming back to Glee club very near the end of class. Right now, the annoying little diva was supposed to be waiting across the hall in an empty classroom with the decorated boombox. That was the other reason her nerves were destroyed right now. Rachel by herself. Who knew what could go wrong there? "Nothing."

"Whatever, S," Quinn said, turning to face forward again. "Just stop your tapping."

This only caused Santana to tap her chair harder.

With only a few minutes to go, Santana stood up as Mr. Schuester was finishing talking about their weekly musical assignment. Honestly, she had barely been listening to the man with everything else on her mind and would definitely have to ask Quinn later what kind of music they were supposed to be singing this week. Though, glancing at the whiteboard and the words written up- 'Ladies of the 80's'- it seemed pretty self-explanatory. Still, she'd double-check with her Captain later.

"Mr. Schue," Santana said, balling her hands into fists to keep from wringing them nervously. "I have something I'd like to perform."

"Oh, ah… sure, Santana," Mr. Schuester said. It was rare for her to volunteer anything, and it clearly threw him off. "The floor's all yours."

Santana went over to the corner, bringing two stools with her to the middle of the floor before looking at the door again. She saw Rachel standing on the other side and waving back at her like some kind of dork. Fucking finally! She had been waiting for that bitch to show up.

"And to help me," Santana added with a smile, knowing Quinn and Brittany were about to love her for this. She walked to the door and opened it, letting the diva walk through. "I'd like to welcome our newest member …Rachel Berry!"

Everyone clapped and cheered as she walked in carrying the boombox, gripping the handle with both hands. It wasn't heavy, but it was big and awkward, and Rachel was so very tiny. It was kind of fucking hilarious watching her struggle with it.

"Thank you, everyone," Rachel said, sitting the boombox down in front of the stools. "I really do appreciate the warm reception. I know it must be a chore to fake it for the good of the group, so I thank you for that at least. And to the rest of you," Santana watched as she and Quinn basically eye-sexed in front of the blonde's idiot boyfriend, "I'm glad to be back."

"And we're glad to have you, Rachel," Mr. Schuester said.

"Thank you," Rachel said, smiling at Mr. Schuester before turning to Santana. "Ready?"

"As I'll ever be," Santana said, already feeling nervous-sweaty. It was so gross.

Santana slightly repositioned the stools so that hers was in front of Brittany's while Rachel's was in front of Quinn. Mostly she just wanted to make someone else uncomfortable if she had to be feeling this way, and nothing would be funnier than Rachel singing "I love you" over and over in front of a repressed Quinn Fabray. It wasn't anything she and Rachel had talked about the night before while she convinced the diva to come back to Glee. She just really loved torturing the two idiots.

The night before…

"So how do you want to do this tomorrow?" Rachel asked as they got ready for bed.

Santana's house had a couple of guest bedrooms, but she didn't feel right about making Rachel stay in one by herself. The girl had really been there for her today, first with the picking out a song for Brittany, promising to help her sing it tomorrow, going shopping for a boombox with her, helping her steal the mannequin legs from the Baby Gap at the mall, offering her a place to stay if her parents kicked her out. And, God, how glad was Santana that she didn't have to take her up on that one? She liked Berry. Well… begrudgingly liked her. And if they were kind of friends now, the least she could do was let her sleep in her bed like a real sleepover.

"I don't know," Santana said, shrugging. "Just come to Glee tomorrow morning with me."

"I can't," Rachel said, rubbing her good hand back and forth over the tendon brace. "I'm still not… ready… to join clubs again. I mean, it's only been five weeks since… and I'm rusty and not at all up to competition levels. And what if… what if everyone in there wants to ask me questions about why I…" She trailed off, shaking her head. "No. I'm just not… I'm not ready to do that yet."

"Okay, stop," Santana said, holding up her hands. "First of all, I can't believe you think me or Q or Britts would let anyone harass you about anything ever, much less those gleeks. If anyone tries to give you static about anything, Q'll go all scary head bitch on them and me and B will back her up. No one messes with us or you, not even the Glee club."

"Thank you."

"De nada," Santana said casually. "Second- and, God, I hate that you make me say shit like this- but you being 'rusty' is better than most of us in there being polished. You're about as rusty as Papi's shiny new BMW. So don't even try and play that BS with me. Don't forget I've heard you singing all day."

"And third," Santana said, tilting her head to look at Rachel. "You're bored. I know you've gotten through at least six seasons of Buffy because I heard you humming Spike's song from the musical episode."

Rachel's eyes lit up at that. "How good was that episode!" she nearly squealed, jumping onto the bed where Santana was sitting.

"So good," Santana said, chuckling. Though she enjoyed insulting Rachel- and, well, pretty much anyone that wasn't Brittany or her parents- she was also generally amused at the way Rachel would go from normal to 'puppy-dog-excited' in, like, zero seconds.

"I know, right. I was trying to figure out some way to maybe incorporate some of the songs," Rachel started, bouncing on the bed on her knees. "I don't know which of them would actually work for Glee club as they're clearly very specific to the show and with show choir you generally want more vague lyrics. It's one of the reasons we did the solo version of 'Defying Gravity' last year compared to the actual musical version of the song. But, really, I think maybe 'Under Your Spell' could work very well as a solo for-"

"Berry!" Once Rachel was startled into silence, Santana went on, saying, "Thank you for proving my point for me. Clearly you're still focused on Glee."

"That doesn't prove I'm bored, though," Rachel argued.

"Not by itself, no. That's just one example, but feel free to tell me if I'm missing any more. Since you quit your 117 other clubs-"

"Eight."

"-whatever. Since you quit them you've," Santana held out her hand, holding up fingers as she talked, "made me and Q and boy Chang join your stupid AP study group."

"A study group that got you a 98 on that last quiz."

Santana ignored the truth of that, moving on. "You've been tutoring Brittany hardcore."

"So she'll get into college."

"You've secretly been giving Mike singing lessons."

Rachel gaped at her. "How did you even know that?"

"I go through your daily planner when I go over to your house," Santana said casually as Rachel gaped at her. "And your diary. Which, way to go on getting to second base with Christy, by the way. I didn't think you had it in you."

Rachel gasped. "Santana! You're not- you can't just- You had no right to- I can't believe you would just-"

"Chill, Berry," Santana said. "It's not like I'd tell anyone. Especially Q. Some of the things you wrote in there made me blush so I doubt the Ice Quinn would be all that appreciative." God, that was such a lie. Santana knew Quinn would fucking love to read the fantasies and dreams that Rachel had written down in her diary. Quinn would never let herself actually enjoy them, though, so what was the fucking point, really? And she was totally fucking with Rachel saying they'd made her blush. They were mostly just romantic and cute. Except for that one dream about Rachel, Quinn, and Christy together. That one was just fan-fucking-tastic.

Rachel crossed her arms and huffed, looking away from Santana. "I still can't believe you went through my diary." She paused, frowning. "And it wasn't real second base. It was an accident."

"Still, it was your first time touching someone other than yourself," Santana said, semi-seriously. "You want to talk about it?"

"No." Rachel stated harshly before sighing again. "Maybe. Okay, yes, but not with you. I'm mad at you."

Santana was quiet for a moment. "You want an empty apology? Would that make you feel better?"

"I'd like a real apology," Rachel huffed out.

"Sorry…" Rachel started to look over at her and say it was okay before Santana finished with, "…but I'm not sorry. You hide things."

"Everyone hides things," Rachel countered.

"Yeah, but not everyone's tried to kill themselves," Santana said. "And not everyone's keeping a stolen knife in their underwear drawer."

Rachel blanched at this. "You… you went snooping through my…"

"Yeah," Santana said again. "But I left it there. And I'm not telling anyone about it. I get it, kind of. When Britt got me to stop smoking a few months ago I still kept a couple cigars. Just in case, y'know? It's like having a nice little out in case you need it." Her expression turned serious as she stared at Rachel. "But I swear to God, Berry, if you ever actually use that knife I will personally raise you from the dead just so I can beat your ass and kill you myself, understand? If you ever feel like you need an out- like you need to use that knife- come talk to me. We'll figure something out, okay?"

Rachel was already starting to tear up. Fuck, Santana was going to have to start keeping a box of tissues in every room of the house if this bitch kept coming over. Which she probably fucking would. Just… ugh. Crying bitches hurt her on an emotional level.

"Stop that shit, estrellita," Santana said softly, carefully reaching up with her long shirtsleeve and wiping at the diva's face. To take her mind off whatever the hell she was thinking about, Santana said, "Tell me why you were helping Asian with singing lessons."

Rachel actually smiled at this though her eyes were still shiny with tears. "He wants to sing something for Tina for Valentine's Day so I've been giving him vocal lessons twice a week. He's actually getting much better. I think it's sweet."

"It is," Santana agreed. "So, tomorrow, you're coming back to Glee club."

"What? No. We never decided-"

"I'm deciding," Santana said. "If you're so bored that you're giving tone-deaf singing lessons, you're coming back." Rachel started to argue again before Santana interrupted her with, "Just… come back, Berry. It's not the same without you. Q and B miss you, and I… well, no, I see you too fucking much as it is, but I like to see my blondes happy. And you do, too. So, just… fucking come back, okay?"

Currently…

"So, okay…" Santana said, taking her seat on the stool with Rachel at her side on another. Brittany was staring at her. They were all staring at her, and she was sure she going to throw up at any second. God, it was like talking to her mom all over again (her dad had been significantly easier since her mom had said they already knew). But then Brittany smiled encouragingly at her and it made everything better. Slightly, at least. Or… okay, she was now only pretty sure she was going to throw up. "I just… I wanted to sing this song because… because it's how I feel. And I know I didn't actually write it, but that doesn't mean that it's not from the heart. So, just…" She locked eyes with Brittany. "Just really listen to the words, okay?"

Santana reached down, pressing play on the boombox and started humming as Rachel harmonized beside her. God, it was so much easier making a huge fucking spectacle of herself while having someone there beside her. She really needed to find a way to thank the girl.

"From my heart…
These words are my own

Threw some chords together
The combination D-E-F
It's who I am, it's what I do
And I was gonna lay it down for you

I tried to focus my attention
But I feel so A-D-D
I need some help, some inspiration
(But it's not coming easily)

Whoah oh!
Trying to find the magic
Trying to write a classic
Don't you know, don't you know, don't you know?

Waste-bin full of paper
Clever rhymes, see you later

These words are my own
From my heart flow
I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you
There's no other way
To better say
I love you, I love you..."

Santana could tell from the first line that something was wrong with Brittany. Her smile, which had been fun and perky did this tightening up thing that honestly made her look like she was doing some impersonation of Quinn. All the happiness left her eyes and her smile was clearly forced as she held Artie's hand a little tighter.

"Read some Byron, Shelly and Keats
Recited it over a Hip-Hop beat
I'm having trouble saying what I mean
With dead poets and drum machines

You know I had some studio time booked
But I couldn't find the killer hook
Now you've gone and raised the bar right up
Nothing I write is ever good enough

These words are my own
From my heart flow
I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you
There's no other way
To better say
I love you, I love you!

I'm getting off my stage
The curtains pull away
No hyperbole to hide behind
My naked soul exposed

Whoah.. oh.. oh.. oh.. Whoah.. oh..

Trying to find the magic
Trying to write a classic
Waste-bin full of paper
Clever rhymes, see you later

These words are my own
From my heart flow
I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you
There's no other way
To better say
I love you, I love you!

These words are my own
They're from my heart
I love you, I love you

That's all I got to say,
Can't think of a better way,
And that's all I've got to say,
I love you, is that okay?"

By the end of the song, Brittany was silently crying. There were no sobs attached to it. She just had this blank look as tears streamed down her face. Santana had noted the exact moment she had started crying, somewhere around the bridge as Santana sang the line 'My naked soul exposed'. She couldn't seem to stop singing, though, as if the entire performance was some horrible form of musical torture for the both of them. The joy of singing the song- the excitement she'd had yesterday as she practiced it with Rachel- was gone.

It wasn't just them, though. Rachel had clearly noticed, too. From the beginning, Rachel and Santana had been almost bouncing on their stools, playing off of each other. As the song progressed, she'd calmed down. They both had until it was awkward and weird and everything Santana had secretly dreaded as she'd worried over singing this for Brittany. It seemed everyone else thought so, too, if their uncomfortable looks around the choir room were any indication.

After a painfully quiet moment, Brittany seemed to come out of her stare, looked at Santana and Rachel, and quietly said, "Thank you." She then stood and walked quickly out of the choir room.

Everyone stared after the tall blonde, but it was Quinn who broke the silence, snapping to get their attention and saying, "Rachel! Go after her."

"No, I should go," Santana started to say. "It was my-"

"She's my girlfriend," Artie threw in, looking pissed. "I should probably-"

"No!" Quinn glared Santana and Artie both down and fuck that blonde bitch, thank you very much. If Santana had been in her right frame of mind, she might have stood up to her Captain. As it was… "Rachel, she'll be in the nearest bathroom. Go."

Rachel scurried away from the choir room as the awkward silence again took over. Santana finally stood from her stool, taking hers and Rachel's and putting them back over in the corner. As she took her seat, Mr. Schuester went back to the front of the class, saying something about her song being good but maybe not what they were looking for as far as a Regionals contender. She mentally drowned him out until the bell rang a couple of minutes later. Only once it had rang did Santana lean forward, putting her head in her hands.

As usual, Mr. Schuester was the first out of the class, followed by some of the rest of the Glee club that wasn't too concerned about what had happened. Lauren couldn't care less who was or wasn't gay in the Glee club. She was surprised all of them weren't.

Finn merely glanced over at Santana before sighing and going off to meet Missy. Finn would probably need cheering up. Not only was his last girlfriend bi (pan, whatever), but now the girl that took his virginity was too. Santana felt sure she was about to get outed to the rest of the school through those two. At least she didn't think it would be maliciously done. That was something, she guessed.

Tina and Mercedes hadn't moved and were watching like it was their favorite reality TV show. Mike turning to Tina and saying, "Really?" before shaking his head and leaving saw her looking ashamed and following him out the door. Mercedes, on the other hand, had her cell phone out and was already texting Kurt to keep him up on the latest Glee club gossip. Santana wouldn't be surprised if she started getting texts from him later that same day welcoming her to 'the Family'.

Puck hung back, watching Santana, generally concerned about his friend. It was the same reason Quinn had put her arm around Santana and was squeezing her, hoping to make her feel better. It wasn't a Brittany hug. Hell, it wasn't even a Rachel hug. But at least her Captain was trying. It actually made her feel slightly better. Until Artie rolled over.

"That was pretty messed up," he said. "Even for you."

"Sorry," Santana threw out without even looking up.

"No you're not."

"No," Santana agreed looking up at him. "I'm not. I love her."

"I love her, too."

Santana sighed at this. "I know. And she loves you, too. And she loves me. It's a fucked up situation."

"Yeah," Arte said, anger dissipating as he sat there staring at her. Now he just looked depressed. "She's going to choose you, y'know."

Santana was quiet for a moment because it didn't really feel like that right now. But she did know it so could only really say, "I know." She'd worried all of yesterday and this morning, though, about what would happen if Brittany did choose Artie instead. How she would feel seeing Brittany every day and not being able to be with her. She knew kind of how Artie felt. "I really am sorry."

"Yeah, whatever," he said before turning away from the Latina and rolling out of the room.

"Asshole," she mumbled once he was out of earshot.

"No, he's not," Quinn said, squeezing Santana again. "But you kind of were one."

"Yeah, yeah…"

Rachel found Brittany in the closest bathroom just as Quinn had predicted. She was sitting on the bank of sinks, legs kicking back and forth with her head pressed back against the mirror and paper towels pressed to her eyes, trying to stop crying. Rachel was thrown back to her first day back to school and how Brittany had yelled at her in her own Brittany way while crying. The crying, though, wasn't the only similarity.

Brittany looked over at the door and stared at Rachel before angrily saying, "Get out, Rachel."

"…what? I was just coming to-"

"I know why you're here," Brittany said. "And I don't want you here. Get out."

"But…"

"I'm so… so… mad at you!" Brittany nearly yelled, jumping down off the sinks and approaching Rachel. "Do you not like Artie? Is that it? Because I can't think of why else you would want to hurt him like that. Santana, I get. But you?"

"I didn't… I wasn't trying to hurt Artie," Rachel said quietly, backing up against the door and shrinking back into herself.

"Rachel stop," Brittany said, anger completely gone from her voice. "I will never, ever hurt you. You don't have to be afraid of me. Even when I'm upset with you. I promise."

Rachel stopped, realizing what she was doing, how she was retreating, then immediately broke down in tears. "I'm sorry," Rachel said as Brittany wrapped around her. "I know. I know. I just… I haven't had Cheerios be angry with me like that since Missy and then Quinn and Santana before her and it just… it brought back everything and you're mad at me and you've never been mad at me and I don't know why you're mad and-"

"Breath, Rachie," Brittany said, putting a finger to her lips. "I'm sorry. Can we just start over? I'll get back up on the sinks," and Brittany actually did let go of Rachel and jump back up where she was sitting, "and you can come in again and we'll just hit the do-over button like on Fairly Oddparents. Did you ever see that episode where Timmy had the watch, and then Vicky got it, and they kept having, like, this do-over battle?"

This had Rachel chuckling and wiping at her eyes with her sleeves. She walked over to where Brittany was sitting, going to stand right between her thighs as she put her arms around the tall blonde's waist. Her head fell against Brittany's midsection, and she whispered, "I love you, Birdy."

"I love you, too, Rach," Brittany said, wrapping her arms around the shorter girl's head. They stood like that for a few minutes, Brittany holding her there. After a while, she explained, "You dated Finn and loved him, right?" Rachel could only nod in her arms. "And he loved you. But let's say you knew he loved Quinn more than he loved you, and it was only Quinn being stupid that was keeping them apart. If Quinn then came in one day and sang him a love song kind of saying that she wanted to get together with him… how would you feel?"

Rachel honestly hadn't looked at it like that. She really just wanted to get her friends together and didn't think about who else might get hurt in the process. It was the same way she would crush her competition when she wanted a solo. Except Artie shouldn't have been her competition. She wanted him to be her friend like she wanted everyone in Glee to be her friends.

"I'd be devastated," Rachel said into Brittany's polyester uniform.

"Does that mean really sad?"

"Yes."

"Okay, good," Brittany said. "Because that's probably how Artie is feeling right now. Sad and mad and hurt and everything else. If you had just told me that Santana was going to sing to me, I could have broken up with Artie beforehand and then gotten together with Santana. Now, I have to break up with Artie with him totally knowing the reason why and I can't get together with Santana because it'll hurt Artie even more. This double sucks."

Rachel was quiet and let the taller girl hold her, offering up an "I'm sorry" only. Brittany just hummed in agreement and put her head on top of Rachel's. They'd be late for homeroom, but neither of them cared at the moment.

Brittany still hadn't gotten a chance to talk to Artie before the Unholy Square all met for study hall. It sucked, mostly because she didn't really want to talk to Santana about whatever might happen between them without talking to Artie first. It wasn't fair to her boyfriend. She hated that Santana and Rachel had put her in that position, but she totally understood why they had. Santana loved her. It kinda made Brittany's heart do weird little floofy things when she thought about it like that. Santana loved her too much to keep it inside anymore, and she just had to sing about it. It sounded so like a Rachel thing to do that the blonde wouldn't even be surprised if she found out Rachel had made her sing.

Brittany still wasn't sure what she was going to do. She loved Artie, she really did. She just loved Santana more. Artie was her boyfriend, but Santana was her… everything. Her best friend. The best lover she'd ever had. The person she pictured herself growing up with and getting old with and maybe popping out some babies with one day. She pictured herself (thanks to Rachel) maybe dancing in some show in New York while Santana had some business-suit-y job (just because she decided San would look all yummy dressed up like that). They'd have a cute little apartment with Quinn and Rachel living nearby (hopefully over themselves and dating by then). And they'd both maybe be married couples and go on double dates or vacations together. The future looked fun with Santana by her side.

With Artie… Brittany could totally picture some of the same things. Her and Artie living in New York while he did something important like directing videos or being mayor while she still danced behind Rachel in a show. But that foursome, Artie-her-Rachel-Quinn wasn't the same. And she couldn't see where Santana was in that future. She had to have Santana in her future! With Artie, though, she just couldn't see it. She could see them being happy, maybe, probably, but not like 'Brittana' happy.

For some reason, scenarios where Rachel and Quinn wouldn't be together never even crossed her mind.

"Birdy?" Rachel asked, reaching diagonally across the table and bringing Brittany out of her thinkings. "Are you okay?"

"Sure, Rachie," Brittany said, offering a smile to her best friend/adopted sister. It was short-lived, though. Brittany remembered something. She remembered the first time Rachel spent the night at her house. Rachel and her mom had talked about Brittany. About her brain-problems thing. How her mom had explained it all to Rachel because they were best friends and she wanted Rachel to know. And now, if Santana really did want to date her, wanted to be part of her life, then it wasn't right for Santana not to know, either. And if three sides of the Unholy Square knew something and the fourth didn't, then it was really more of a 'U' or a 'C' and not a square. Quinn needed to know, too. "Rach?"

"Yeah, Birdy?" Rachel asked, looking back up from her book.

"I think you should tell San and Q about me." Rachel looked confused before Brittany went on to explain, "About what my mom told you about me."

"What? Birdy, no. That's…"

"They should know," Brittany said as resolutely as possible. "If San…," she turned to Santana because this wasn't about convincing Rachel as much as explaining to Santana, "if you want to date me, there's something you need to know about me."

"Something Berry knows that I don't?" Santana asked, sounding a little hurt.

"She's my sister now," Brittany said, shrugging. "It's a family thing."

All eyes were on Rachel now, and Brittany felt a little bad about it. She knew how much Rachel hated being in the spotlight since she'd tried to hurt herself. Still, it was weird, because the Rachel she used to know only wanted to be in the spotlight and nowhere else. Brittany sometimes didn't like how much Rachel had changed, but, with things like her singing this morning in front of everyone with Santana, it kinda felt like old-Rachel was coming back, too. A little bit. Maybe. And that was a good thing.

"Okay…" Rachel said, taking a deep breath and going into explain-y mode. "From what Mrs. Pierce explained to me, she had a complicated pregnancy with Brittany that involved a drug trial and some developmental issues during that pregnancy. This caused the doctors to suggest she terminate the pregnancy, but Mrs. Pierce refused. The result of these developmental issues, though… they left Brittany with… well, some learning disabilities."

"Fuck you, Berry," Santana automatically shot off. "She's not… whatever you're trying to make her out to be. I swear to God if you call her 'stupid' or 'retarded' or something-"

"Santi…" Brittany said, taking Santana's hand in hers. Her fiery little Latina was always so protective. She knew this was going to be hard to hear for her. "I kinda am."

"No. That's bullshit," Santana said. "You're… different, sure, but that just makes you so much better. You're, like, the smartest person I know. Has Berry or your mom been making you feel like-"

"No, Santi. Rachel's right." Brittany pulled Santana's hand to her lips and kissed the back of it. "There were doctors and everything. Just... listen, please? I promise we can go talk to mom after practice if you want."

Santana's only response was a grimace and a nod as she stared at Rachel for her to finish.

"Like I was saying, there were some learning disabilities, almost like a specialized form of autism," Rachel said, getting back on track. "Brittany is very coordinated and knows almost instinctually how the human body works. She's the same way with emotions and reading people. The tradeoff is that she's not as good in math and parts of science as well as the grammatical side of English."

"Stuff that Rachie is totes tutoring me in, though," Brittany offered.

This got Rachel to smile. "I am," she said proudly, "and Brittany's grades have gone up a lot in just the last month. I'm wholly confidant that by this fall when it's time to start applying to colleges that Brittany will definitely have the grades to get in. We're also starting SAT prep work in the next few weeks so we'll be ready for that, too."

"Britts, that's nothing," Santana said, glad to be still holding Brittany's hand. "I kinda hate math, too. It's okay."

"That's… that's not all," Brittany said, removing her hand from Santana's and staring down at the table. "Rach, will you just… will you tell them the rest? Please?"

Rachel sighed, looking at her best friend, though her voice didn't falter. She owed Brittany this much. "Mrs. Pierce also told me that Brittany has what can only be called social development issues, too. The way the doctors explained it to her- and thus the way she explained it to me- is that Brittany is and always will be, in a lot of ways, a child."

Santana looked like she wanted to go over the table and beat Rachel to death. It was only Quinn's hand on her arm that stopped her. "Santana!" Quinn said in a harsh whisper. "Calm down before you get us thrown out of here!"

"Fuck you, puta!" Santana shot back, staring her down. "This coño is-"

"Do you think Rachel would ever do anything to hurt Brittany?" Quinn asked, thankfully stopping Santana's tirade short.

"Well, no, but-"

"And do you really think she'd make fun of Brittany to her face?" Quinn asked. "Right here in front of us?"

"No," Santana said again, shaking her head. "She'd be fucking dead if she even-"

"And does Brittany seem upset with her for saying any of this?"

Santana actually paused this time, looking over at Brittany. She didn't seem upset, but she clearly wasn't happy, either. "…no."

"Then stop and just listen for a minute, okay?" Quinn said. "Then, if Berry's making fun of B, you're free to kick her ass right here in the library if you want to. I'll even help." Though the offer was clearly feigned as Quinn shot Rachel a small smile.

"Fine," Santana said, settling again and crossing her arms over her chest.

Rachel stared back and forth between Santana and Quinn for a moment before continuing. "So… um… so the doctors, they apparently said that mentally and emotionally, Brittany will never be more than maybe thirteen or fourteen in terms of maturity. In some areas of her life, she may act even younger than that. It actually explained a lot for me when I stopped to think about it."

Rachel reached over and took Brittany's hand again, smiling at her when she looked up. "Like the way she always sees the world in this positive light when so many people are negative about it. The way she constantly sees the best in people. The way she makes the world a better place. Personally, I wish I could see the world the same way."

"Really?" Brittany asked, smiling softly at her.

"Really, really," Rachel said in a horrible Scottish accent that got Brittany to laugh at her. Their Shrek movie marathon last week had been a lot of fun.

After a minute, Quinn broke the moment of Rachel and Brittany just kind of looking at each other with silly smiles on their faces by asking, "So… should we let you two get a room or something?"

"No, no," Rachel said, embarrassed. She tried to pull her hand away but Brittany wouldn't let her. "Brittany, let go."

"No," Brittany said, grinning while refusing. Now that it was out for everyone to know, she was feeling playful. "You're my bestie and I love your little unmanly hands. That was a stupid nickname, by the way. Also, I love you."

"I love you, too, Birdy," Rachel said, unsuccessfully pulling on her arm, trying to get her hand back. The taller girl wasn't having any of that, though, and just pulled her good hand in further, wrapping both arms around it. Rachel sighed. "Can I please have my hand back?"

"Nope," Brittany said, grinning ever brighter now. The other two Cheerios just watched, both amused. Brittany just hoped they understood what she was trying to do, here. Maybe if she didn't make it a big deal, made them know that them knowing how she was didn't change who she was, then maybe they wouldn't care that she was going to be a child all her life. She hoped they wouldn't anyway.

"Me too, Britt," Quinn said, smiling at the two of them being silly. "I love you, too."

They all kind of turned to Santana at the same time. "Really?" the Latina asked. "After this morning, you even have to ask?"

Brittany nodded before suddenly growing serious and looking at the other two girls at the table. "If you want to go talk about it in private, we can go to the bathroom or something."

"Britts…" Santana started, reaching out and prying one of Brittany's hands away from where she had Rachel's in a grip against her midsection so she could hold it. Brittany released Rachel's hand and grabbed onto Santana's, wrapping both hands around hers. "I sang that song in front of the Glee club. I would have sang it in front of the entire school if I had to. I'm not worried about these two."

Brittany stared into Santana's eyes, seeing her future there. "Nothing Berry's said- nothing Berry could ever say- will ever change how I feel about you. If I have to be sixteen for both of us or twenty-six for both of us or, fuck, seventy-six for both of us so you can stay the wonderful person I've known for the past two and a half years… I would never change who you are. I love you. Of course I love you. I came out for you. And the looks I've been getting in the halls, the whispers behind my back, none of it will ever change how much I love you."

"Good," Brittany said, smiling as big as any of them had ever seen her smile. "Because I want to date you. I kind of want to marry you. Except we can't right now. We have to wait a few weeks."

"To get married?" Santana asked, laughing. "I think we'll need to wait a little longer than that."

"No, no, to date," Brittany explained. "I have to break up with Artie first, and then I need to give him time to get over me before he sees me with you. It's not fair to him. So we have to wait a few weeks before we can date."

"Wait, what?" Santana asked, letting go of Brittany's hands. "We have to wait before we can go out just so four-eyes mcwheelie-boy can 'get over you'? I just came out to the school for you. That's-"

"A really great idea," Quinn finished for her before Santana could say anything else. "Really. And I'm sure if San thought about it for a minute she'd agree with you. It's the right thing to do."

"It is," Brittany said solemnly. "It's not right to break up with someone for someone else. It'd be like saying Artie didn't matter."

"He doesn't matter," Santana said. "He's just a boy. He'll get over it."

"Did you tell her about that?" Rachel asked Quinn suddenly, drawing the other three's gazes to her.

"What?" Quinn's eyebrows scrunched like she was trying to figure out what Rachel was even talking about. "Did I tell her about what?"

"Back when we first started hanging out, you blew off a date with Sam to come hang out with me," Rachel said. "It was when I first found out about my hand and the… possible outcomes. You told me you'd rather be with me because Sam was 'just a boy' and that he'd 'get over it'. Just like Santana now."

"Did she now?" Santana asked, smirking, semi-argument forgotten.

Brittany watched as Quinn shot Santana one of her death glares before turning back to Rachel and brushing more dirt on top of the bones that proved Quinn was all gay for (or in love with… or maybe just lusting after) Rachel. She didn't get how Rachel couldn't see that about Quinn. It was written all over everything she did. The way Quinn looked at Rachel. The way her bestie was the focus of the room for her Captain. Like, her walking into Glee this morning changed everything about Quinn. She sat up a little straighter. She paid more attention to what was going on. She even smiled a little. Things she never really seemed to do for Sam. At least Brittany felt pretty good about that. She never seemed like she was bored with Artie. Not like Quinn was with Sam. That relationship was destined to explode pretty soon. It was kind of sad, honestly, with Valentines coming so soon.

OH! Maybe Valentines can be mine and San's first date, Brittany thought. That was only three weeks away and could give them both something to look forward to. And it would give Artie plenty of time to be sad about their relationship being over before she set him up with Maria. At least someone was going to be happy about them breaking up.

"Hi," Brittany said sadly as she found herself beside Artie at his locker. It had taken her until school let out that day to get a chance to talk to him. Usually they would have seen each other between classes, but every time Brittany had looked around for him he hadn't been anywhere in sight. Maybe because she was so tall and he was so low in his chair. It hadn't really helped crouching down looking for him, but at least she got a better idea of what Rachel went through every day. Quinn had eventually suggested that maybe Artie just needed some space.

"Hey," he said back. He sounded sad, too. 'Devastated' was the word Rachel had used that morning. It sounded like a complicated word, and Artie looked like he was feeling complicated feelings, so maybe it was a good word after all. Not that she had really doubted Rachel. Rachel was smarter than her and used big words all the time. She needed to use bigger words like Rachel. College words. They were going to be college students together in a couple of years.

"I'm sorry," Brittany said, glancing around the nearly deserted hallway before looking back at him. "I looked for you all day, but I couldn't find you."

"Yeah," Artie said, pulling some books out of his locker and stuffing them in the backpack on the back of his chair. "I was just…"

"Avoiding me?" Brittany offered to which Artie just shrugged. "It's okay."

They stood in awkward silence for a moment before Artie said, "If you're going to break up with me, will you just go ahead and do it?"

"Is that what you want?" Brittany asked. "For me to break up with you?"

"Well, no, but… after this morning, everyone in Glee- hell, everyone in the whole school… that's all they've been talking about. How you and Santana are finally together. I even got a text from Doug saying he saw you in the library last period holding hands."

"Well, I don't know who that is," Brittany said as a defense, "but I was also holding Rachel's hand so that doesn't really count."

"Doug's in the jazz band with me," Artie explained. "He plays… it doesn't matter. That's not the point. Everybody's saying you two are already a couple and you haven't even broken up with me yet. It's messed up."

"I know," Brittany said. "I'm sorry. But we're not. A couple, I mean. And we're not going to be for a while." She could see this took Artie by surprise form the look on his face. "I didn't think it would be right for me to just break up with you and start dating someone else. So we're waiting three weeks. Valentine's Day. I thought that would give you time to get over me."

Artie smiled a sad smile at that because… God. Only Brittany. "There is no getting over you, Britt."

"I know," Brittany said, earning a chuckle from her ex. Or soon-to-be ex. She wasn't exactly sure how that worked. "You're the best boyfriend I've ever had, y'know?"

"Really?"

"Totally." Brittany reached down and brushed his hair back a little. "You're the first person to ever look at me and not see the dumb blonde girl or the hot body. You just liked me for me. And I love you for that, Artie. I always will." She bent down and kissed him on the forehead.

Artie looked up at her like he was going to cry and this made Brittany want to cry, too. "Well, I'm going to always love you, too. You didn't look at me and see the chair. You just saw me for me. Even Tina, last year, she saw the disability first and me second. You just… you saw me. You're the only person who has. And I love you for that. Always." He reached out and took her hand, bringing it to his lips and kissing it.

They were silent for a minute before Brittany spoke up. "So… do you want to dump me?" she asked, wiping at her eyes. "Would that make you feel better?"

Artie laughed, removing his glasses to wipe at his own eyes. "Nah," he said. "I could never break up with you. No one would believe me anyway."

"Yeah…" Brittany took a deep breath, gathering up all her courage. This was the first time that she'd ever had to do this. Artie was her first real relationship, her first real boyfriend. "Artie I-don't-know-your-middle-name Abrams… I officially break up with you."

Again, Artie smiled because… what do you even do with that? Play along, he guessed. "Brittany Susan Pierce, I officially accept your break up. We are hereby broken up."

"Okay. Good."

"Good." He looked up at her because she was the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen and he couldn't believe he'd ever had the good fortune to date her. Even if it wasn't for a long time, it was the best of times. "It's James, by the way. My middle name."

"Oh," Brittany said. "That's nice. I like it."

"Thanks."

There was an awkward pause as neither one was quite sure what to do now. Brittany was late for Cheerios practice and knew she'd have to run extra laps. Artie knew his dad was out there waiting on him. Still, neither knew how to break the awkwardness.

Just as Artie was about to say something about how he should go, Brittany threw out, "I'm not the only person that looked at you and didn't see the chair, by the way."

"What?"

"Maria. One of the freshman Cheerios. She thinks you're cute."

"The short black girl?" Artie asked.

"The one with the cute booty, yeah," Brittany said, grinning.

"Huh. I didn't know that." He shook his head. "I don't think I'm ready right now, but… maybe in a few weeks?"

"Cool," Brittany said, pleased with herself. They'd make such a cute couple. She bent down and hugged Artie again, a kind of goodbye in a sense. Actually, in two senses because she really did need to leave and get to practice. "You really were a great boyfriend."

"And you were the best girlfriend," Artie said, giving her a kiss on the cheek before she stood back up.

"Well, yeah. Duh."