A/N: Ummm... writing a little out of my element here (well, more out of my element than the whole writing thing in general is, especially the beginning part), I hope it's okay...

"You need to ask me something?" Rose was confused and still trying to reconnect to the Doctor's mind. She lifted her hands again, this time successfully and plunged herself in.

"Ohhhh." It was like diving into warm water, welcoming and comforting, slick and sensual. Fingers of sensation drifted over her and she was lost to the feelings surrounding her.

Rose, please. The Doctor couldn't resist her, and resorted to half hearted pleading. He wasn't sure if it was because he was so caught up in the connection and the way it felt, or if Rose was simply overpowering him. As much as the latter part of that thought intrigued him, it wasn't enough motivation for him to break the contact. Instead he placed his hands back on her temples and pulled her into him for another kiss.

Please what, Doctor?

Communicating back to him, using words, with intent, through their fledgling bond was even more powerful to him. He groaned in the back of his throat as he continued to sip from her lips. The world, the universe, narrowed down to the feelings he experienced from her, and the overwhelming need to connect with her on every level. He pushed his hips into her, bumping her away from him for a moment, as she stumbled slightly backwards.

To steady herself, her hands caught his shoulders and broke their connection, his hands fell to her hips. They both stood dazed for a moment, off balance from the loss of the link. Embarrassment started to creep into Rose, flushing her face. The Doctor felt it by proxy. Their relative proximity stimulating the bond, and he was again taken aback by the strength of it.

"What's going on Doctor?" She had grasped some control over herself. Enough to not immediately seek his mind again.

The Doctor was relieved, but also more than a little disappointed, he missed her touch. Schooling himself, he knew that now was the time to bare the truth to Rose. A tremor of terror shot through him. What if she didn't want this? Was it too late?

Of course, he knew she wanted something with him, that much was obvious from what he felt from her, what she was projecting into his mind. But what if she couldn't accept the permanence. There was no halfway. All in or nothing at all. Halfway would hurt.

He started to step back.

Rose felt his fear. "Wait a minute!" She commanded. "You don't get to stop now! Something happened here and I need to know what it is, what it means." She caught his eyes and made to touch his face, he jerked away slightly. She was about to protest but she saw resignation in his eyes, and a pleading for understanding. He looked guilty and a little lost. Anxiety started wafting off of him and into her. "What is it? Doctor, What's wrong?"

He sighed heavily and his shoulders slumped. "I can't believe you're back."

His words seemed sorrowful and Rose's anxiety increased. How could he kiss her like that? Do... whatever he did with his mind and not want her here?

Before she could question him, he continued, "I understand a little of what the TARDIS did, how it happened... I'm so sorry."

She could see his regret, nearly feel it, maybe she could actually feel it. Whatever had just happened between them, he obviously regretted, and although it would break her heart again, she was going to give him his out. "I can go Doctor... I will go, if that's what you want... Just... I need to understand what happened to me... Can you give me that much?"

"I'm not really doing a good job at this." The words slipped out in a whisper, as if he were talking to himself. He finally met her eyes again. "Rose, that's not what I want. It couldn't be further from what I want."

Hope started to bubble up inside her, but faltered at the look in his eyes.

"But you might not want to stay once I tell you what's gone on. What made it possible for you to come back." He made to cup her face but stopped himself, his hand dropping to his side again.

"Doctor, just tell me and we'll get past it." She clasped his hand in hers. She could think of nothing in this universe or any other that would make her want to leave him.

The Doctor breathed heavily, squeezed her hand and closed his eyes. He wanted to commit this moment and her to memory, this moment, before she knew, before she understood what had happened, how, because of him, her life would never be the same.

He opened his eyes, determined to look into hers as he explained what he knew of the TARDIS' actions. "You see, when we... when you..." He paused, talking about the day he lost her was still so hard. "After that day in Torchwood, I was a mess. Spent a lot of time in the vortex, a lot of time trying to find a way back to you. Nothing worked. I wasn't clever enough. I couldn't do it without sacrificing everything else. In the end, I thought a lot about crossing timelines."

Rose gasped at his admission. "Doctor, you didn't."

"No, I didn't, almost did though. That's probably when I was at my lowest. The TARDIS stopped me." He stroked the coral strut next to him and the lights flickered affectionately. "But that's why she did it."

"Did what?"

Steeling himself for her reaction, he plunged forward, "The TARDIS saw how far I had fallen, how much I need you. She has powers that even Time Lords never fully comprehended, and part of that allowed her to reach across the void and bind her timeline to yours." He stopped, waiting for her response.

Rose waited for him to continue. When he didn't, she prompted, "So the TARDIS messed with my timeline?"

He ran his free hand through his hair and nodded slightly, afraid to confirm.

Rose knew that he thought that this was something bad, but she still didn't understand why. "Doctor, what does that mean? Is it like Bad Wolf?"

"Oh Rose, it's so much worse than that. I was able to remove and bury most of the Bad Wolf. This is... this... I can't fix this." He dropped her hand and turned away from her.

Her stomach dropped. Was she dying? When she looked in to the heart of the TARDIS she was going to burn. The Doctor had saved her. Is this why she'd been getting all those headaches? "How much..." She stuttered. "How long do I have?"

She sounded so forlorn to him. She understood it now. She was changed, no longer human. He knew she'd never be able to forgive him. "It's hard to say..." His voice cracked a bit. "You're tied to the TARDIS now, might be close to what I've got left."

"Wait... What did you say?!" She must have misheard him. She was expecting weeks, maybe days, at the very worst precious hours. But this? It couldn't be. Could it?

"I know Rose, and I'm so sorry. It's my fault. She did it for me." He knew she needed to know the rest, all of it, no matter how bad it was. He turned back to her, "But there's more."

Rose was still shocked and barely heard what the Doctor was saying. She was caught up in the fact that her lifespan might match or even exceed his. She was elated and terrified by this. On the one hand, that was one less obstacle in the way of them being together, on the other, if he didn't want her, she was in for a very long, lonely existence.

The Doctor continued, "While I was John Smith, and you came to the bookshop... you... I... we... triggered it..."

Rose was trying to focus on what the Doctor was saying but he didn't seem to be making much sense. "It, Doctor?" He fumbled a bit. "Did I do something wrong? I knew something was different. I'm sorry Doctor. I didn't know what was happening. I never meant to hurt you."

"No, Rose. You didn't hurt me." Her eyes snapped up to his again. "You didn't do anything wrong." He sighed again, "I'm not really doing a good job of explaining this." He decided to just come out with it, no matter how uncomfortable it made both of them. "I was mostly human as John Smith, my Time Lord self was kept in that watch. But when you came to the bookshop that day. When we touched, you didn't just touch the human, you touched the Time Lord and started a bond with me."

She was trying to follow him, he could see that, but she still didn't fully understand the implications of what he was telling her.

"Time Lords, well, when there were more than just me, could form bond to each other's mind. It's not something to be taken lightly. The bond joins two minds, two souls together for as long as they live. It's the ultimate form of commitment."

"So, what you're telling me is that we're joined now? Forever?" He wanted to reach out and touch her mind, to find out for sure what she was thinking and feeling. He couldn't read her expressions right now.

"Not exactly. It's not complete yet."

The way he looked at her when she said it, like a puppy who had done wrong and was waiting for the rap on the nose, finally shed light on what was going on. He always jumped to the worst possible conclusion about her, always thought she'd leave him or never choose him in the first place. She felt so foolish for not realizing it before. Maybe she could attribute it to the time she had spent away from the Doctor, or maybe it was her own inability to believe that something like this could ever occur. Either way she had to make sure. She needed to know what he really wanted. "You want to complete it, don't you?"

x13x