Chidsengan: Yay me! A new chappie for my favorite fanfic family! ^_^ *hugs a poster of Ryuga that she keeps ion her wallet*
Ryuga: You idiot! First of all, it's not a new chapter... it's a new form of torture! And secondly... *grabs the picture away from her* Stop hugging that picture of me!
Chidsengan: TT_TT You're right. I'm so sorry... *hugs him tightly* I should be hugging the real Ryuga right in front of me! I'm such an idiot!
Ryuga: *hits her over the head* THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT, DUMMY!
Tsubasa: -_- ... he just hit her over her head...
Gingka: Told you he would before the disclaimer! *puts hand towards Tsubasa* That'll be five dollars.
Tsubasa: *looks through his pockets to find them empty* Ummm... do you by any chance accept lint for cash?
Gingka: *groans* I can't believe it, Tsubasa. How can you be broke? We just got paid on Friday!
Tsubasa: It's not my fault! I had to pay my rent, buy food, get myself a new pair of shoes... *points at Gingka* Money goes quickly when you have necessities. What I don't understand is how YOU'RE not broke.
Gingka: Duh. My dad's the head of the WBBA... ^_^ I'm rich!
Tsubasa: -_- ... between you and Chidsengan, I'm really starting to dislike wealthy people...
Ryuga: *walks over to them, dragging Chidsengan along by her arm* What are you two losers talking about now?
Tsubasa: Poverty.
Gingka: How whiny poor people can be.
Tsubasa: *glares at Gingka*
Ryuga: -_- ... why do I even ask anymore...?
Chidsengan: *waves her hands in the air* I have a question! ^_^
Ryuga: -_- ... and there goes the next few worthless minutes of my life...
Chidsengan: Where's Kyoya? He's supposed to be helping us do the A/N...
Tsubasa: He's working his third job of the day. Apparently he's way behind on paying his bills and stuff like that...
Chidsengan: *completely oblivious* 0.0 ? He is?
Ryuga, Tsubasa, and Gingka: -_- ... have you been living under a rock?
Chidsengan: Well, I know that he's always worried about money, but I don't fully understand why. He gets paid a pretty good salary, right?
Ryuga: Yeah, but all you need is a bad investment and bye-bye any hopes of money.
Chidsengan: What did Kyoya invest in that was such a failure that his whole bank account's suffering?
Tsubasa and Gingka: Ryuga's new book: 'Finding Your Inner Dragon Emperor'.
Chidsengan: Wow, Ryuga! You wrote a book? That's so amazing! ^_^
Ryuga: -_- ... yeah, only it was a total failure...
Tsubasa: It wouldn't have been if you hadn't made chapter 9 a list of rules on different ways to pummel your idiot nemesis...
Gingka: I didn't even get to chapter 9. I left off at chapter 3: '100 Fool-Proof Ways to Yell Your Idiot Nemesis'.
Chidsengan: It sounds like such a good book! Where can I buy one?! ^_^
Ryuga: Well, it might be hard to find them since they're all selling so quickly, but if you really want a copy... *twenty trucks pull up behind him* These 1,000,000 books we had left over might do in a pinch...
Gingka and Tsubasa: -_- ...
Chidsengan: ^_^ Yay me! Ryuga books! *dives in and hugs them* This is just as wonderful as my Beyblade Official Handbook!
Gingka: -_- Ryuga, do you actually expect Chidsengan to buy 1,000,000 copies of your book?
Ryuga: *shrugs* She'd better. Her and her gullibility are my plan to restart my stocks...
Tsubasa: -_- ... *sarcastically* And I suppose the fact that she's also rich has nothing to do with any of this...
Ryuga: *innocently* Did I forget to mention that? :)
Tsubasa: -_- ...
Gingka: *laughs nervously* ANYWAY... *to everyone reading this [useless and terribly written chappie]* Hi and welcome to chapter 37 of the worst fanfic ever written. To start things off I'd just like to say that, thankfully, Chidsengan doesn't own Beyblade or the characters... *glances back to see her hugging her Ryuga books tightly* Although she does apparently own 1,000,000 copies of 'Finding Your Inner Dragon Emperor'...
Ryuga: *salesman mode* Available where all good books are sold! *pearly white smile 'dings' and sparkles*
Gingka: -_- ... yeah... anyway-
Tsubasa: What Gingka means to say is that we really have places to be and money to make, so we'd better stop wasting our time on irrelevant things.
Gingka: What are you talking about? I don't have to be anywhere and-
Tsubasa: I have a job to get to, Gingka...
Gingka: Oh... *sing-song* Tsubasa is poor! Tsubasa is poor!
Tsubasa: GINGKA...
Gingka: Alright, alright... fine... *sighs* Anyway, this chapter translates out to 'Past the Point of the Past'...
Ryuga: -_- ... ANOTHER useless title for another useless chapter? *mutters* Where does she think of all this idiocy? In her sleep?
Chidsengan: ^_^ Yep!
Ryuga: -_- ... again, why do I even ask anymore?
Chidsengan: But all my idiocy aside-
Ryuga: Kid, you couldn't push all your idiocy aside no matter how much you try...
Chidsengan: TT_TT ... he's right... but nonetheless... *smiles* I'd like to thank the best fanfic family in the entire world (and the worlds beyond this one) for sticking by my side through all the idiocy and the worthless writing skills I have:
SpyWolf8
JuniperGentle
FutureCharacterDesigner4Pixar
dreamlily
DragonFang2011
Allycat
Darknessrules
RoxasOtaku
Bes9200
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MoonBlazer
Tiger
Starlit Skyline
Powerless Flames
The Thunderstruck Tiger
Fangtooth
Marai
KikiForbid
theforgotten
azure blue espeon
A.B.D.Y.Z.
GalaxyPegasus14
ilovedogs12
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cutie pie
Guest big fan
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PineScar
love sasodei s2
And a big welcome to FleetingButterfly! Welcome to the fanfic family! I hope you love it here as much as I love you being a part of the fanfic family! ^_^ Also, since my brother, Rasdori's, birthday and mine are over (he said thank you all so much for your kind birthday wishes!), regular chappie dedications are being resumed, and this chappie is dedicated to SpyWolf8 and JuniperGentle, two of the most talented authors I know and two of the best friends I've ever had, too! SpyWolf8, you are by far the coolest Aussie I know (via the internet) and are unbelievably cool! I wish I had your spunk! And JuniperGentle, you're like a mentor to me and really help me along my writing road (which is really too tumultuous for all sanity, really). You're brilliant, and I promise that my ellipse use will wane considerably thanks to your suggestions!
Ryuga: I wish YOU would wane completely, 'Dweeb-sengan'...
Gingka: Ah, go easy on her, Ryuga. She did just buy 1,000,000 copies of your book.
Ryuga: -_- ... I still don't like her...
Chidsengan: TT_TT Please, everyone, I hope you enjoy this worthless chappie at least a little...
Ryuga: You just called it worthless...
Chidsengan: TT_TT Yes?
Ryuga: That means there's nothing of worth in this chapter to enjoy.
Chidsengan: TT_TT
Ryuga: Idiot.
Gingka: Yep, she's hopeless...
Chidsengan: TT_TT
Tsubasa: Well, I'll let you three settle this... for now... *puts on a costume chicken head* I've got to get to work...
Ryuga and Gingka: 0.0
Chidsengan: TT_TT That chicken hat really compliments his skintone...
Ryuga: -_- ...
Gingka: -_- ...
Tsubasa: -_- ... I'm really starting to dislike rich people...
Lap.
Lap.
Lap.
Lap.
Hours later, the waves rippled against the side of the boat gently as the ship swayed slightly, the crisp air mixed with the mist of the ocean stinging Kyoya's face like tiny needles as he overlooked the side of the ship on the top deck.
After the whole 'Madoka incident', Anton had decided to halt the ship in the middle of the ocean; a part covered with little more than plenty of mossy rocks and metallic-colored fish.
By the time Kyoya had made his way to the top deck himself, everyone else had already checked put where they were and had gone to sleep (even Anton), leaving him completely alone to simply linger on the deck and gaze at the stars.
It was far past his bedtime, the moon having come out more than eight hours ago, so being out and about rather than sleeping probably wasn't the most sane course of action, but it wasn't like he had any other options...
That was unless he wanted to go back to the cabin and listen to Tsubasa toss and turn in his sleep because of fleeting nightmares and hear Benkei order every food known on the planet via sleep-talking.
Yet his limited list of options and the noisy cabin weren't the only reasons why Kyoya was out on the top deck rather than conked out somewhere due to weariness.
The other reason was he just couldn't sleep.
It didn't even make sense to him why he couldn't, either.
He was completely exhausted and didn't have a single ounce of energy to spare, but every time he tried to sleep his eyes just refused to rest.
So many things kept racing through his mind, everything from Peproméno's destruction to sailing to I Serina Thallasas to joining The Zoun Army in Íroes, to his argument with Madoka... to, of course, Ryuga, that it made it impossible for him to get to sleep.
Everything in life at that moment seemed to be just barely balancing on a shaky, invisible line between 'manageable' and 'destructive'... like whatever he tried to do continuously seemed to backfire on him.
For him.
But not for Ryuga.
Ugh.
Ryuga.
Why did his thoughts always manage to drift to him?
Was Madoka right when she had said he was obsessed with him?
No, it wasn't that, he reasoned with himself.
But maybe it was because Ryuga, more and more these days, seemed to be doing everything right whereas Kyoya kept faltering.
And when he took that into consideration, he couldn't even blame everyone else for not wanting him to be their leader anymore.
As much as he hated to admit it, he had seen it, too; he knew that Ryuga was a better leader than he was; that he was of more importance than Kyoya was.
Ryuga was smart, strong, and even had some money to spare.
Kyoya, on the other hand, was a skinny and impoverished street rat; he had absolutely nothing to give anyone else.
To be honest, he could barely keep himself alive.
He had protested it at first, but Madoka had hit the proverbial nail on the proverbial head when she had said that Ryuga was better fit to lead the rest of them to Íroes than he was.
Kyoya would never admit it to her, but she'd been right.
Ryuga was better at being a leader than he was, just like Ryuga was better at EVERYTHING than Kyoya was, it seemed.
Had always been that way, even when they were younger.
Ever since they'd been little kids held hostage by The Thanátos Army, Ryuga had always been the unnoficial leader to Kyoya and Nile; he was a real child prodigy, the likes of which only come around every so often.
His intellect was off the charts, something anyone could notice even when he was four-years-old, and he easily excelled at anything he tried.
Even living under The Thanátos, Ryuga had managed to teach himself to read and write, fight like a warrior, and keep himself alive without so much as breaking a sweat.
Back then, Ryuga had tried to teach Kyoya and Nile the tricks of the trade, too; he'd tried to teach them how to read, write, fight, and anything else that he could teach them.
Nile had caught on quickly and under Ryuga's then-watchful eye, he'd become well-read (or at least as well-read as a child enslaved by a psycho army could be) and had learned to defend himself to the best of his abilities.
By contrast, however, Kyoya had lagged pitifully behind; lacking both the stamina and the means to excel like Ryuga and Nile had.
It wasn't like he had never tried; he had.
He'd worked his fingers to the bone to learn what Ryuga, and occasionally what Nile, tried to teach him, but to no avail.
Mentally, he hadn't been gifted with a mind that could logically put things together like Ryuga and Nile could; he was too reckless and impulsive to fully grasp all the aspects of reading and writing, to join vowels and consonants and make words.
Physically, he hadn't exactly been a prodigy, either.
His training on how to fight and defend himself had always been cut short either because of his lack of energy or the fact that the physical 'punishments' The Thanátos Army used to inflict upon him would pain him so much that he couldn't continue.
Ryuga had always been the cool one.
Nile had always been amazing.
Kyoya had always been a loser.
But back then, it hadn't bothered him in the slightest, because back then, he'd been friends with Ryuga and Nile; just bounding in their shadows and following at their heels had been more than enough for Kyoya.
But that had been then.
Nowadays, things were entirely different.
Nowadays, Ryuga was a traitor and Nile was gone.
Things had changed so much since only a few years ago...
... and yet one things hadn't altered.
Kyoya was still a loser; a loser with nothing to offer and no means to protect anything (or anyone) that he cared about.
He sighed defeatedly at the thought.
Maybe it WAS better to do as Madoka's had said and just 'give it up'; he really was too weak to avenge Nile and protect them all.
Ryuga, on the other hand...
A loud growl from his stomach made him cringe suddenly, tearing him away from his thoughts for a moment with a pitiable frown.
After he'd rejected Madoka's meal offer back in the cabin a couple of hours ago, Kyoya had instantly regretted it.
Now, his stomach hurt terribly, completely famished from going without any food, and it hasn't stopped complaining since Madoka had left him before.
With a small groan, he leaned against the side of the ship; resting his elbows on it as he glanced up at the stars overhead.
Stupid stubbornness.
When would he learn that his stubbornness was a curse more than an asset to him?, he wondered.
When would he learn that all it got him was a truckload of trouble, plenty of arguments, and an empty stomach?
When would he learn anything?
Closing his eyes tiredly, he barely had a chance to try to relax when he heard something aside from the ocean lapping against the boat.
Tap...
... tap...
... tap...
His ears immediately perked up when he recognized the sound of footsteps behind him and couldn't help but sigh; not in the mood for talking or seeing anyone at that moment.
His first (and worse) suspicion was that the footsteps were Ryuga's, but after hearing them come closer to him, he recognized that they weren't so very heavy and arrogant-sounding.
They were soft yet confident; accompanied by the faint rustling sound of a skirt, but the steps were far too quickly-paced to be Sophie's delicate strides... and since Lera, the only other girl on the ship didn't wear skirts...
Kyoya tensed and mentally groaned.
It wasn't Sophie and it wasn't Lera.
Which could only mean...
"Are you alright ?"
...
The 'princess'.
... again.
Kyoya raised his head to see, as he'd suspected, Madoka standing behind him; a somber and apologetic expression on her face and worry reflected in her eyes.
"What are you doing here ?"he queried her, trying to not show the aggravation in his voice.
Madoka shrugged a bit and tried her best to grin softly.
"Can't I just check on my friends from time-to-time?"she asked quietly.
"You never have before,"Kyoya returned gruffly.
"That's because we weren't friends before,"
"And we're not friends now. Especially after what happened a little while ago,"
Madoka's glanced down guiltily, fiddling with the hem of her near-threadbare skirt a bit.
"I'm sorry about before,"she apologized."Some of the things I said to you were out of line. I didn't mean them, and I should have considered your feelings,"
"I don't have any feelings,"
"Everyone has feelings, Kyoya,"
"Except maybe you,"
Madoka let her eyes flicker downward for a moment, not even going to attempt to retort with a snappy remark like she usually would.
He was right, to an extent.
Only someone heartless would have said some of the things she'd said to him before.
And as much as she may have disliked Kyoya, she didn't want to turn into... Ryuga... (A/N: laughter's usually encouraged at that part ^_^)
"You're right, I'm sorry," Madoka apologized again, her voice softer than it usually was. "You just make me so angry sometimes,"
"Sort of like how you ALWAYS make me?"Kyoya couldn't help but retort snidely.
Madoka's right eye twitched slightly at his remark as she struggled to retain her composure.
"A little," she breathed in deeply, attempting to calm her own anger. "Anyway, I just came to say I'm sorry and to make sure you were alright,"
Giving a small 'hmmm', Kyoya turned away from her again to gaze out at the ocean.
"I'm fine," he mumbled, ignoring the hungered protests of his far-too-empty stomach. "And I thought I told you before that your apologies sound fake to me,"
"You did," Madoka said quietly, blushing slightly. "But I-"
Kyoya glanced at her with an aggravated scowl.
"Go away," he said tersely. "I'm not in the mood to deal with you,"
Madoka clenched her fists at the her companion's statement before stamping her left foot on the shipboards furiously.
"Why are you always acting like you can't stand me?!"she snapped at Kyoya. "Do you have something against me or something like that?!"
"Other than the fact you're bossy, raise your voice too much, and always second guess what others tell you unless it's told to you by your beloved JULIAN?" came the snarky reply.
Madoka bristled.
"What?! Hey! That's PRINCE JULIAN, the prince of Peproméno,to you, pal!" she snapped, her previous intent to keep her cool fading as quickly as it had come.
"FORMER Prince Julian," Kyoya answered bitterly. "Pepromeno was destroyed, remember ? Now he's just the prince of 'Thanátos-Destroyed-Area-Number-Who-Knows-What-Bec ause-We-Lost-Count',"
Madoka's glare turned into a look of sadness as she realized that Kyoya was right.
"Still, though," she started quietly, her anger fading for a moment. "That doesn't mean he's still not from noble blood. And that doesn't explain what you have against me, either,"
Kyoya growled.
"Oh, zip it," he retorted listlessly. "It's not just you I have something against. I have something against everyone here because everyone here has issues,"
Madoka's right eyebrow twitched in anger.
"We do NOT have issues," she disagreed.
"Please," Kyoya scoffed, rolling his eyes. "Think about it. Tsubasa's a softie. Gingka's kind of a dunce. Masamune's obsessed with himself. Yu plays the 'cute card' way too much. Kenta hardly ever stops talking. Julian has something between Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Delusions of Grandeur. Sophie still thinks she live in a palace. Wales cares about his hair beyond all sanity. Zeo's pessimistic. Teru's a scaredy-cat. Klaus' a building with feet. And Ryuga's-"
"And Ryuga's a traitor," Madoka cut him off flatly.
Kyoya's eyes narrowed on her.
"And Ryuga's a heartless traitor who would step over and destroy his best friends to get something he wants," he corrected her tensely while Madoka rolled her eyes.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever. I know, I know... yeesh," she sighed in exasperation, then pouted slightly. "Fine, you win this once. We all have issues. You don't have to give me the whole lowdown,"
Kyoya crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the ship.
"I didn't," he said flatly. "Anton, Aleksei, Lera, and Nowaguma weren't even mentioned,"
"With the exception of Aleksei, things were already aggravating enough without them,"
Kyoya turned his head away from her and back to the stars overhead.
"Sorry to bother you," he muttered bitterly.
Madoka groaned and rubbed her temples weakly, completely exasperated with her companion.
"Why do I have the feeling that it's not just us you can't stand but the rest of humanity, too ?" she whined.
"Maybe because I do ?" Kyoya said it as if it was the simplest thing in the world.
Madoka 'anime sweat-dropped'.
"Really ? You hate the whole of humanity and have the nerve to say that WE'RE the ones with issues ?" she stated blandly.
Kyoya sniffed.
"I have my reasons," he retorted briskly, tucking a strand of his jade-green hair behind his right ear.
"Is ANY reason good enough to hate the whole of humanity?" she asked blandly, her eyebrows arched slightly in question.
Kyoya traced his pointer finger along the boards of the ship he was leaning against; subconsciously reliving old memories of his encounters with any 'humanity' outside of his fellow street rats that he'd had.
"Look, princess," he started rigidly. "While it's unfortunate, we live in a world that has two classifications, and that's the very rich and the very poor, and both of them seem worlds away from eachother. The first are the rich. The rich always look down on the poor, and when they're not, they're smiling at them because they get paid to. They live their lives feasting and laughing, all wasting their lives away and never once casting their gazes towards someone really in need unless they get any payment for it. Next are the poor. They always waste their time looking up to and admiring the rich and always bow down to them like they don't have a shred of dignity. They live their lives wasting their time sniveling and groveling over the rich and not even trying to help someone else even lower then them in financial needs. Both the rich and the poor live such different lives except for one thing, and that's that, in both cases, no one cares enough to look after others. They spend so much time wallowing in their own little worlds that they couldn't care less about the desperate and starving street rats all around then. They ignore them all and don't show them a shred of kindness. If anything, they bully them to the point that those kids have to fight back in clawing and biting and thrashing just to stay alive. And each time they fall, they only have two options: stay down and die or get back up and just barely scrape by. It doesn't matter if those who aren't those street urchins are rich or poor... either way, they don't care about those who need their help. They don't care about US,"-he stopped tracing his finger along the side of the ship and clenched his hands into fists tghtly-"That's why I can't stand the rest of humanity. They're heartless,"
Madoka stared at Kyoya blandly, her lips pursed into a thin, tight line.
"That's... kind of a broad scale to put the whole of humanity on, Kyoya," she muttered.
The noise Kyoya made was nothing short of absolutely undignified.
"It doesn't matter. I've seen enough to know that they're all the same,"he remarked.
"But enough to make you hate the whole of humanity?!"
"What can I say? They're all pathetic,"
"Wouldn't that make you PITY mankind rather than harbor hatred towards them?"
Silence.
"Just go away," Kyoya huffed, but something in his voice seemed to say the opposite.
Madoka sighed as she stepped beside him and shook her head.
"You're impossible," she murmured.
For a few moments, they stood beside one another in an awkward silence, just listening to the wind whip through the skies and the waters lapping against the ship.
Until Madoka spoke again.
"You don't allow yourself much happiness, do you?" she queried.
Kyoya glanced at her slightly.
"What?" he asked, his tone of voice defensive.
Madoka frowned.
"I mean, most people let their friends support them. They let themselves lean on them when they need help, and they let their friends make them smile," she explained. "But you... you don't do any of that. You treat me and the others like we're nuisances,"
"Because you and the others AREN'T my friends," Kyoya replied tersely.
"And yet you're risking your life for us to assure that the rest of us live better lives than we currently are," Madoka returned.
"That doesn't mean anything," Kyoya said flatly. "I just don't want to live miserably like everyone else. Joining The Zoun Army means I have a chance for a better life. For myself. It means I don't have to live on the streets and steal for a living anymore. It means that I don't have to worry about finding a place to sleep at night and that I don't ever have to go to bed hungry ever again. Joining The Zoun Army is something I need to do to stay alive. You guys just happen to be along for the ride. So why not let you all come along? That's all there is to it. My reasons for risking my life are selfish ones and have nothing to do with any of you,"
Kyoya was quiet for a moment before Madoka glanced at him.
"If your reasons for risking your life are selfish reasons," she began. "Then why DID you do what you did all those times? When you saved our lives when we were half-dead after Peproméno was destroyed by the Thanátos? When you found us the exit in TST, even though you were starving and in such bad shape yourself? When you stayed behind during that forest fire to make sure we all got out safely even though you were in as much danger as the rest of us were? And what about when you agreed to team up with Ryuga? And don't say that you did it because of selfish reasons, because I know for a fact that you wouldn't come within two centimeters of Ryuga unless you had a better reason to do so than selfish ones!"-Madoka's eyes glistened slightly with tears-"Everything you've done... you've done for or because of us, haven't you?"
Kyoya merely folded his arms over his chest again and shrugged.
"You've got a big imagination," he said coolly.
Madoka looked at her companion with a sympathetic look upon her face, obviously not convinced by his nonchalant statement.
"Why?" she asked. "Why would you do this for so many strangers?"
Kyoya stared ahead at the vast ocean somberly; his eyebrows furrowing slightly at Madoka's prodding.
"I don't have to explain anything to you..." he said after a prolonged silence.
"No, I suppose you don't," Madoka agreed quietly. "But... I was kind of hoping that you would,"
"Yeah, well, 'kind of' doesn't mean you were, technically. So I have no reason to explain myself to you..."
Madoka bristled at Kyoya's reply and glared at him hotly.
"Okay, then I WAS hoping you'd explain your reasons to me!" she grumbled. "So... will you ? Please?"
Kyoya pretended to ponder it a moment before looking at her emotionlessly.
"No," he said flatly.
Madoka growled.
He could be so difficult at times!
"Fine, then! DON'T tell me!" she spat haughtily. "It's not like it would do me any good to hear about your sappiness and sob-stories! Go ahead and not say anything like the big jerk that you are! See if it bothers me!"
She had turned her back to Kyoya stubbornly, but glanced over her shoulder slightly just to see his expression at her words.
But instead of a peeved or irritated expression like he normally would have had, Kyoya looked surprisingly... dull.
Emotionless.
Like he hadn't heard Madoka... or that, if he had, he didn't care.
"Umm, Kyoya?" Madoka began. "Are you okay?"
Only silence met her query.
"Kyoya?"
Once again, only silence responded.
"KYOYA,"
When he continued to ignore her, Madoka sighed and abandoned trying to talk to him.
If he wanted to be like that, then fine, why should she bother with him?
Turning to leave, she got about mid-way back to the lower deck's entrance before a quiet, almost inaudible voice halted her stride.
"I don't want to see anyone else suffer,"
Madoka froze in her tracks.
"… what?" she queried, looking back at Kyoya, who was still staring at the seemingly endless ocean.
Kyoya flinched nervously.
She'd heard him?
He hadn't thought he'd said that loudly enough for her to have heard him!
"I-" he stuttered, trying to backpedal.
Madoka didn't let him, however.
She was instantly at his side once more, her eyes wide in curiosity.
"So, I suppose that's your answer to my question before?" she prodded.
Kyoya blushed slightly, instantly trying to think of some plausible explanation for what he'd said without sounding like a complete softie.
"T-that's not what I meant," he muttered, trying to preserve whatever dignity he might have had left.
Madoka's placed her hands on her hips.
"Really? Because it sounded pretty cut-and-dry to me," she said levelly. "You don't want to see anyone else suffer,"
Kyoya's face only deepened in its shade at Madoka's words as he continued to desperately stammer for to a reasonable explanation for what she'd overheard.
"What I meant was-"he started."I mean, what I was trying to say was-"-he sighed, closing his eyes-"With all the things I've seen in my life, I just want to make a difference. I want to know that I didn't fail at something in my life. Anything. And if the best I can do is make sure you all don't die, then fine,"-a small shrug-"Once again, I have my own, selfish reasons. I don't need to specify anything for you,"
Madoka frowned.
"Fine, if you say so. But I still don't believe that you don't care about us all,"she prodded.
"I don't,"Kyoya insisted, his voice rigid in agitation.
"But you're taking us all to Íroes with you!"
"Are you daft?! I already told you that doesn't mean anything!"
"You're fighting in a war for us!"
"I'm fighting in a war because I don't like The Thanátos Army! Not because I like you dorks!"
Huffing, Madoka folded her arms over her chest angrily.
"Hmph! After one brief, shining moment the windbag's back to his old ways,"she muttered to herself.
"And after one brief, shining moment, the 'princess' is back to her same old narcissistic self," Kyoya retorted coldly.
Madoka growled under her breath slightly.
"You know, just because you don't like me doesn't mean you have to be so pompous about it!" she shouted at him. "Besides, in case you've forgotten, I'm a LADY. You're supposed to treat me with a certain amount of respect!"
"And in case YOU'VE forgotten, I'm a street kid, which means all that respectful stuff means zilch to me," Kyoya responded coolly.
"THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!"
"Sure it does, for someone who's actually LIVED on the streets, 'princess'," Kyoya answered her outburst with nonchalance. "On the streets, wether it's a girl or a boy, it doesn't matter; every kid is the same in the terms that they see, they steal, and then they starve to death. We don't have time to waste on things like respect for ladies and all that stuff that rich people do,"
"Well maybe you should!"
"Too bad. Street kids just happen have more important things to worry about; things you couldn't possibly know what it's like to worry about,"
"Like WHAT?"
Kyoya turned his head away from her for a moment, letting the nighttime shadows shield his face from view.
"Having to survive," he answered in a voice so quiet that the breeze whistling through the air almost drowned it out.
Madoka opened her mouth to say something, but instantly snapped it shut when she took Kyoya's words into consideration.
As much as she hated to admit it, he was right; there were plenty of things she had never had to worry about in life.
Up until two months ago (give or take a few days), she had never worried about finding a place to sleep at night or having to avoid authorities and soldiers chasing her down.
She had never worried about wear and tear her clothes because she knew there'd always be more for her if she somehow sullied them, nor had she ever worried about being chased from higher-echelon places because of the fact she was an orphan.
She had never had to worry about where her next meal was coming from or if there was even one coming at all and never before had she ever, ever had to worry if the days she spent with her friends... would be their last.
Kyoya was right; she was completely naive to what it really meant to try and survive, and even with the crash course she had gotten on it in the last two months, her experience in the department still paled in comparison to that of someone who'd been a street kid all their life.
Someone like...
Madoka cast a sidelong glance at Kyoya, who was still silent, and frowned.
Unlike her, he had loved on the streets his whole life; unlike her, he knew what it was like to just try to survive when the world seemed to be completely against you.
This kid, this boy, who wasn't even that much older than her, knew all too painfully about every terrible, heart-breaking rule of the streets and each cruel routine that life on them entailed.
Abandonment.
Not knowing who his parents even were.
Being a hostage of The Thanátos Army.
Escaping only to live in misery in the streets.
Madoka shuddered as the brief bits of Kyoya's life that she had garnered raced through her mind.
Just knowing the little that she knew about his life, she was sure that there wasn't a single person traveling on that ship that could even begin to ascertain the pain that Kyoya must have shouldered throughout his life (except maybe Ryuga, but Ryuga's life was a big question mark to all of them, so he didn't really count).
To have dealt with such suffering in his life, never having said anything in real detail to anyone about his past (she had asked his friends, all of which who had said Kyoya refused to say anything regarding it)... to have kept every single emotion, memory, and trial to himself for who knows how long...
... it would explain so many of the stubborn and angry characteristics he had, not to mention the reason he always tried to keep others at arm's length.
Madoka's fingers tightened into fists as she gnawed on her lower lip thoughtfully; eyes set downward on a silvery school of fish darting through the sea's waters below the ship.
"It must be terrible, isn't it?" she asked somberly, causing Kyoya to divert his own attention from the school of fish to her. "To have to deal with such burdens like you've had to your whole life by yourself. It must be so hard to be all alone even when you're surrounded by friends,"
Kyoya growled slightly, his blue eyes flashing defiantly.
"I already told you, you and the others AREN'T my friends," he said gruffly.
Madoka shifted shyly and brushed a wayward lock of hair out of her eyes..
"So you've said," she agreed. "Yet... I wonder... if you really mean that,"
The scoff Kyoya issued was nothing short of something meant to demean Madoka.
"What do you mean you 'wonder if I really mean that'?" he said, his voice practically a hiss. "Are you really that delusional? Of course I mean it! Why wouldn't I?"
"Because you're afraid to trust us," Madoka's tone was one of tenderness almost akin to a mother's. "And admitting that we're your friends would mean you'd also have to admit that you trust us on some sort of level,"
Kyoya rolled his eyes at her explanation.
"So I'm not big on trust. Big deal," he retorted nonchalantly. "That's the kind of stuff that happens when-"
"When you've been through the things you have?" Madoka finished for him.
Kyoya's shoulders stiffened and his blood seemed to freeze for a moment and it took him a few seconds to regain his composure before he managed to glance away from Madoka's piercing gaze back into the waters below.
"Yeah. That," he replied, closing his eyes with an exhausted sigh.
A palpable silence hung over them for a few minutes, both of them still and waiting for the other to say something, but neither of them of could seem to think of anything to state.
Finally, it was Madoka who broke the quiet with a trembling voice.
"Kyoya," she began quietly. "I... I know it's not really my place to ask you, and, really, I shouldn't be, probably, but... I have to know... for my own sake..."
"Know what?" Kyoya asked flatly, his mind already weary from lack of sleep, food, and Madoka's already-seemingly endless bevy of remarks and queries.
The next words she uttered, however, were by far the worst ones she could have ever said to him.
"What was life like for you... before you met us all? Back when you lived under The Thanátos' rule and on the streets?"
At first, Kyoya glanced at her with an expression of utter query at how she had acquired the information that he'd once lived under the control of The Thanátos Army (the streets part didn't surprise him as much) and the girl merely shrugged.
"Gingka likes to talk," she explained quickly.
Kyoya's blue eyes narrowed slightly.
He'd teach Gingka to not go yapping about his past like he was some kind of museum piece later, but for now...
His shoulders stiffened and his breath hitched a bit at the thought of Madoka's question about his life before he had met them all; every emotion that was possible flooding his chest with such vengeance his heart felt like it was being crushed at the same time it as speeding to an erratic pace.
"Wouldn't you like to know," he muttered bitterly, trying to sound as calm and nonplussed as his shaky breathing and trembling hands would allow him to.
Madoka sighed.
"No, I wouldn't," she admitted softly."And I'm afraid to even ask you, but-"
"Then do us both a favor and DON'T," came the brusque reply
Madoka looked down at the deck and rubbed her left arm with her right arm timidly.
"I wouldn't," she stated timidly. "Only... there's a reason that I have to,"
"And what reason is THAT?"
Madoka shifted slightly on her feet again; blue eyes clouded with pity.
"Back in the cabin, you said to apologize to you when I actually knew you and knew what you've been through," she started quietly.
"So what?"
"'So' I... didn't know what you meant at first," Madoka continued quietly. "But after I thought about it a little more, I finally figured it out,"
"Did you?" Kyoya muttered, his voice tinged with unmistakable sarcasm and a tone that made it clear he wasn't in the mood to hear what Madoka had to say.
"Yes, I did," she answered softly, ignoring the obvious defensiveness in his voice. "You meant, or at least what I think you meant, was that I had no right to judge you like I did without knowing what you've had to endure in your life. I know that now. I shouldn't have treated you like I did, especially when I didn't... when I don't... know even the slightest bit about the things you must have faced under The Thanátos Army and on the streets. I understand why my apology must have sounded so useless and fake to you before,"
Kyoya gazed at Madoka, unable to say anything for a moment; like his mind just wasn't working.
Seeing her lower lip quivering and that she was on the verge of tears managed to kickstart his thoughts again, however, and he responded to her with his typical gruff manner and feigned disinterest in the whole matter.
"Quit your pity-party," he said bluntly, adding a small scoff to make it more believable. "It's not like an apology matters to me one way or another. No one hardly ever bothers to waste their apologies on street rats. People like me are usually getting kicked around, not said sorry to. So really, you're actually better than most people in that sense,"
Madoka brushed a strand of her brown hair that had been blown out of place by the sea breeze behind her ear and looked at Kyoya sympathetically.
"If you look at things that way, I guess you could say that," she said gently. "However, either way, you were right about what you said before. I shouldn't look down on you. And I want to say sorry for that,"-her lips pursed together into a tight line-"But I know that you won't fully accept my apology. No matter how many times I say I'm sorry, it'll all just sound like I'm trying to assuage my own guilt and that I'm apologizing out of fear and obligation,"
Silence.
"Which means?" Kyoya finally asked, the tone of his voice cautious yet callous.
Madoka shifted on her feet uncomfortably, than stared out at the sea wordlessly for a good couple of seconds before replying at last.
"'Which means' that I want you to be able to see my apologies as completely honest ones, not like someone of higher class looking down on you. And I know you won't feel that way until you know that I understand you," she said fervently, turning her gaze back to Kyoya. "So in order to understand you, I have to know what made you, well, you,"
Kyoya's hands clenched tightly as he stared at his reflection on the surface of the crystalline ocean, seeming all too concentrated on watching the water ripple gently through it.
"So in simpler words... you want to know what my past was like," he concluded bluntly.
Madoka nodded slowly.
"I do," she agreed. "I think that's the only way I'll be able to really get to know you,"
Kyoya sighed and closed his eyes for a second.
Wasn't that just his luck (if such a thing existed)?
Of all the ways Madoka could have 'gotten to know him' if she really wanted to, she had to pick a talk about his least favorite subject.
His past.
"Fine," he muttered at last, sighing heavily again while Madoka looked at him with childlike anticipation.
For a second, the two of them just stood there staring at one another.
Finally, Kyoya spoke, his pace of speaking almost too quick for Madoka to keep up with.
"I-was-abandoned-by-my-parets-when-I was-a-baby-and-left-to-starve-on-the-side-of-the-r oad-but-was-taken-in-by-this-elderly-woman-until-I -was-two-and-when-she-died-my-hometown-was-invaded -by-The-Thanátos-Army-and-I-was-kidnapped-and-by-t hem-until-I-managed-to-escape-when-I-was-nine-and- fell-on-some-extremely-hard-times-and-troubles-and -after-that-I-spent-the-rest-of-my-life-running-fr om-soldiers-and-authorities-subsisting-on-very-lit tle-to-no-food-or-sleep-at-all-until-about-two-mon ths-ago-when-Peproméno-was-destroyed-and-I-was-for ced-to-travel-with-you-and-the-fourteen-numbskulls -of-doom-to-join-The-Zoun-Army-in-Íroes," he summarized hastily in one breath, then arched his eyebrows lazily at a gaping Madoka-"Satisfied?"
Madoka blinked in shock.
Then again.
Then a third time before she finally screamed at the top of her lungs.
"ARE YOU CRAZY?! I COULD HARDLY UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU WERE SAYING, LET ALONE WHAT I SHOULD GARNER FROM THAT ABOUT YOU!" she shouted, flailing her arms wildly in a fit of exasperation.
Kyoya shrugged nonchalantly.
"Well, too bad, because that's all the details you're ever going to get about my past," he turned on his heel to leave. "Now if you don't mind, I have to get to bed, 'princess',"
He turned on his heel to leave, more than eager to get away from Madoka before she could say another word to him, but once again, her voice rang out in the night in an almost haunting, phantasmic manner.
"You... won't even talk about it," she documented softly.
"Yeah, I think that's already been established," Kyoya muttered, turning back to her with an agitated expression. "Your point?"
Madoka drew a circle on the ledge of the ship with her pointer finger absentmindedly, the corners of her mouth turned down in a frown.
"My point is that life on the streets and under The Thanátos must have been terrible for you not to not even want to talk about them," she stated.
Kyoya sniffed slightly and leaned against the side of the ship again with an air of feigned superiority.
"You make me out to be some sort of baby," he said roughly. "I'm not Tsubasa, you know, I can take care of myself. Besides, you're wrong. I don't want to talk about my past because it's the past; it's over and done and gone and there's nothing I can do about it. And even if the things that happened to me were horrible, it's not like I couldn't handle them. The streets aren't half bad once you learn their tricks,"
"And what about The Thanátos Army?" Madoka asked.
Kyoya flinched.
"That's... entirely different," he said quietly. "There aren't any real tricks to learn there that can get you through unscathed,"
"It was... that bad?"
"Worse than you could ever think 'princess',"
Silence.
"I can't even begin to imagine the horrors you must have faced... being locked away in that place for so long," Madoka finally spoke, gentle and quiet. "What you must have endured being kept, well, under The Thanátos Army's reins at such a young age,"
More silence.
"No, you can't imagine," Kyoya replied at last, his own voice far more quiet than Madoka was used to. "You can't imagine the things that happened while I was there, and I'm glad you can't. The things that happened, the things that broke so many strong people, I would never wish it for anyone; not for them to know of, not for them to live, not for them to even imagine,"-he turned away from Madoka, his jade green bangs shadowing his eyes from sight-"No one... should ever experience, never know of, the physical pain that was inflicted to those under The Thanátos Army; the mental and emotional pain that I..."-he stopped and squeezed his eyes shut, trembling smally as the memories flashed through his mind-"No, not just me. The pain that ANYBODY enslaved under The Thanátos Army's rule endured..."
Madoka let a small, shocked gasp tear itself from her lips.
"Enslaved... under The Thanátos Army's rule?"she squeaked, horrified."What do you mean enslaved? I thought you were just held captive by them,"
"It's a little more than that, 'princess'," Kyoya said tiredly. "Orphans aren't just held captive like prisoners of war are. They're forced to work with hardly a single moment's rest; back-breaking work that makes your fingers blister and your head cloud in exhaustion. That's the kind of 'captive' I'm used to,"
Madoka's eyes widened and her heart felt like it had skipped a hundred beats.
"Do you mean... that you were a slave ?" she asked quiveringly.
Kyoya glared at her hotly in an instant.
"I'm not a slave and I never was!" he said sharply, his body trembling in restrained emotion. "I'm a human being, just like every one of those orphans there were, too! Just because we had masters that we had to report to and worked ourselves half-to-death without a shred of anything to show for it doesn't mean we were slaves!"
Madoka lowered her head and subconsciously fiddled with the hem of her skirt.
"Then... if you and every other orphan under The Thanátos Army weren't slaves," she started softly. "Then what were you?"
Silence.
The ocean waters stilled.
The gentle creaking of the boat drifiting side-to-side ceased.
Even the winter night's breeze had come to a halt in waiting for Kyoya's response.
And when he finally managed to respond, his voice was so tired, so vulnerable, that it made Madoka cringe.
"We were something far worse than slaves," he said somberly, his back arching in the stiff manner of a frightened cat.
Everything else remained quiet as Kyoya paused and half-closed his blue eyes; letting them flicker downward in a combination of anguish and fury as he said the three most heart-wrenching words Madoka had ever heard in her life.
"We were expendable,"
Chidsengan: Well, that was it, everyone... *sighs* Thank you all for reading it, though I'm so sorry that it was-
Ryuga: Worthless? Stupid? Pathetic? Dumb? Useless? Terrible? The worst writing in the entire world?
Chidsengan: TT_TT ... mhmm...
Ryuga: *pats her on the shoulder* There, there, don't feel too badly about it. So, you can't write worth Tsubasa's pocket lint. The good news is you're getting smarter...
Chidsengan: *hopefully* Really?
Ryuga: Sure. You realized that I was right before I had to explain it to you. That was genius.
Chidsengan: ^_^ Ryuga, thank you so much! *hugs him tightly*
Ryuga: *smirks* How I love gullible idiots with no talent or a social life...
Kyoya: Sometimes, Ryuga, I wonder how you ever even made it to the big leagues...
Chidsengan: ^_^ Kyoya! You're back!
Ryuga: *scoffs* Isn't it obvious, KY-KY? I made my way schmoozing whoever offered me a chance at an anime deal... *sighs* It wasn't an easy road, but it was worth it. Gullible idiots got me where I am today, and I owe them some sort of semblence of gratitude... *points at Chidsengan* Why else do you think I put up with this dummy?
Kyoya: -_- ... if that's putting up with her, I don't want to know how you are when you're not putting up with her...
Ryuga: *rolls eyes* Whatever, loser. Anyway, where were you all day? I had to hang out with 'the talentless stupid author' because you weren't here...
Kyoya: Ummm... I was... working...
Ryuga: I know, but I want to know what humiliating job you got this time... *smirks* 'Barney the Dinosaur'...
Kyoya: *blushes* Cut it out! I wouldn't have even been in debt if you hadn't convinced me to invest in that stupid novel of yours!
Ryuga: It's an AUTOBIOGRAPHY, and that's not the point! The point of the matter is- *stops* Wait, did you just say you're in debt?
Kyoya: Well... I... *turns to Chidsengan* So, Chidsengan! What's on the virtual buffet today?
Chidsengan: Watermelon, snow cones, and lots of smoothies! ^_^ Feel free to have some!
Kyoya: Sounds like a plan! *grabs the food and drinks as Ryuga walks up behind him*
Ryuga: Stop avoiding my question...
Kyoya: I'm not. The point of the matter is, I'm broke, Tsubasa's broke... pretty much everyone who invested in your stupid book is broke...
Ryuga: It's not stupid.
Kyoya: It made me poor.
Ryuga: You were poor anyway!
Kyoya: *growls* You meanie! Do you have any idea what you did?! Thanks to you, my electricity in my house is out, my rent is overdue... *gestures to the food in his hands* ... this is my first meal in days, and worst of all... *frowns* I don't have enough money to go on vacation with you come chappie 50!
Ryuga: -_- ... why do you keep saying 'chappie'...?
Kyoya: THAT'S BESIDES THE POINT! THE POINT IS, I WANT MY MONEY BACK!
Ryuga: Nope. Sorry. The money you invested wasn't refundable, so... I don't think so...
Kyoya: WHAT?!
Ryuga: Besides, why would you want to go to the beach anyway? It's not like you even like the sun and the water all that much!
Kyoya: *blushes* That's none of your business!
Chidsengan: Hey, Ky-Ky! Want to help me say good-bye to everyone before we end this chappie?!
Kyoya: Uh, okay! Sure! Be right there!
Ryuga: 0.0 ... *smirks* Ah, I see what's going on...
Kyoya: *nervously* Wh-what?
Ryuga: *points at Kyoya mischeviously* You like Chidsengan and you want to go on vacation because she's going to be there, don't you?
Kyoya: *stammers and blushes* Th-that's not it at all!
Ryuga: Suuuure it isn't. And I'm supposed to believe that you just all of a sudden have taken an interest in sand and seashells...
Kyoya: Maybe I have...
Ryuga: Heh! This is priceless! You're so close to being close to her on a day off from work and yet you don't have the money to pay your own way...
Kyoya: Hey, it's your fault that I don't if anything!
Ryuga: No it's not... *chuckles* But it will be my fault that you won't have the means to pay for it...
Kyoya: That makes no sense!
Ryuga: Yes it does. Because starting now... *smirks* I'm going to make sure that you don't have a single chance to go on that vacation...
Kyoya: *glares* You wouldn't...
Ryuga: I'll teach you not to insult my book, you little brat...
Kyoya: I'm not a little brat!
Ryuga: You're right... you're even worse than that... *scoffs* You're a poor idiot helplessly in love with a stupid, rich-girl writer...
Kyoya: Take that back!
(The two wrestle eachother and Chidsengan shrugs, oblivious as ever)
Chidsengan: Well, in any event, I just want to say thank you all so much and GOD Bless You All! You make my world go round and keep me smiling! I love you all so much (in a sibling-like way)! Thank you so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so...
(Five days later)
Chidsengan: ... so much! ^_^