Hello again! Today is kind of a boring day so I figured I'd just update again lol Enjoy!
I might have already mentioned this but everyone was stressed out.
Jocelyn had found a way to make herself physically sick from worry. For months she'd been worrying about me and with Luke on top of it, it's too much. She was now nursing a fever, stuffy nose and cough. Great.
Maryse had become more controlling, causing her and Robert to have many fights. The night before, they practically spent the entire night arguing. How to split the group if necessary, what to do if we happen to be outnumbered. If there was a topic to be debated, the two of them fought over it.
And Maia was on a very short fuse.
With everything going on, I was hoping that I'd be able to at least go to her. But for now, I had to give her space. Jordan was the only person she could talk to without blowing up. Though, she seemed to lighten up to me when I invited her to the parabatai ceremony.
Alec, much like Maia, was perpetually pissed. But instead of shouting at everyone, he kept his mouth shut. He didn't talk unless absolutely necessary. He didn't comment on anything and his answers were curt. Magnus was doing well in trying to cheer him up. But after the latest stunt he pulled, I think even Magnus couldn't protect himself from Alec's wrath.
"Don't worry about Alec," Magnus had said to the wolf pack. "He has a bad case of PMS."
I winced as I remembered the long line of profanities and insults aimed at the sorry warlock.
Jace had become more clingy. I wasn't complaining. I loved cuddling with him at night. But his actions were always urgent and sometimes I found myself afraid to be around him.
Even Isabelle, who was usually like a rock in certain situations, was acting different. If I hadn't gotten to know her in the few short days we decided to play nice, I wouldn't have noticed it.
Isabelle was always a risk-taker. But it seemed like she was taking more chances than usual.
Like earlier today. We barely knew Annamarie and yet she jumped at the chance to go shopping with her while an army of demons were waiting to kill us.
And last night. She had "accidentally" forgotten her stele. She never forgot her stele. I'm pretty sure she sleeps with the damn thing.
So, when one of the wolves nicked her arm, we had to wrap it in gauze and tell her to sit out for the rest of the night.
The only person who seemed to be acting relatively normal was Luke. Thank the Angel.
And when he knocked on the door, I was more than happy to let him in.
"Hey, how are you?" I asked as he stepped though the door.
"I'm fine, you? This is a big day for you."
I nodded as I looked at the tunic Isabelle had bought me and the super tight skinny jeans.
"You look different."
I snorted. "That's an understatement. But you know Isabelle's motto: Go big or go home."
We chuckled at that and I saw him flinch when he did.
"Are you sure you're ok?" I asked. "How are you ribs?"
"They're fine, Clary."
After giving him a firm look, I moved on to his other injury. "Your jaw?"
"Healed."
I sighed.
"I got you something," he said as he held out a hair clip to me.
I picked it up to look at it. It was silver with fake emeralds on the edge. "It's really pretty," I said with a smile.
"I'm glad you like it," Luke said as he took it back. "Back when I was a young Shadowhunter, it was tradition to get both parabatais a gift but I don't know Isabelle that well."
"Trust me," I laughed, "Isabelle doesn't need anything else. I swear, every time I walk into her room, I'm tripping over useless junk she bought."
Luke's werewolf hands were surprisingly gentle as he pulled back my hair and put the clip in.
"Thanks," I said as I looked at it in the mirror.
Luke smiled as someone knocked on my door.
"Clary," Isabelle's voice called through the door, "are you ready?"
"Yeah," I replied, "I'll meet you down in the church in a minute."
After kissing my forehead, I left in the direction of the church.
"Friends, family, allies…"
Why is she starting the ceremony like this? I thought. Who does she think she is, Julius Caesar?
"…thank you for joining us today. These two wonderful young ladies are here because they made a very important decision. And the rest of you are here because they wanted you to witness the magic happen."
Again, why make is so dramatic? It's just friends and family.
"Today," Annamarie took a step closer to where all fifteen people sat. "two friends will become sisters. Two shadowhunters will become stronger. Two souls will become one."
Seriously?
She turned around with her stele in hand and drew the parabatai rune on our forearms. "Now I will sit back and let Miss Lightwood and Miss Fray do the rest of the work."
Isabelle and I grasped hands and we recited the lines Isabelle made me memorize.
"Wither thou goest, I will go;
Where thou diest, I will die
And there I will be buried:
The Angel do so to me, and mor also,
If aught but death part thee and me."
The rune burned on our arms at the same time and I could feel the energy sparking between the two of us.
It got hotter and hotter. It made me want to squint my eyes up. Then suddenly, the hot air rose up and came back over us like a cool breeze.
I felt part of Isabelle go through me. Like I was able to read some of her thoughts.
Though I already knew this, Isabelle wasn't as hard on the outside as she was on the inside. On the inside there was love, fear and…heartbreak?
It made me feel self-conscious about the things she could be feeling about me.
"Raziel approves," Anna said softly.
Isabelle and I were parabatai. We were one step closer to getting Jonathan back. And killing Valentine.
**Two Weeks Later**
Two weeks.
It had been a full two weeks since the parabatai ceremony.
I don't know what I had expected to happen after that. It wasn't like we were starting game. It wasn't like the minute it was finished, we'd be attacked. We had to wait. Valentine had to make the first move.
Clarissa…
Jonathan's sleepy thoughts were still making themselves known. But I've learned how to drown them out in training. Now, it was like I couldn't hear him at all.
And speaking of training, we'd all be working our asses off. But only because we were afraid Maryse would have an aneurism if we didn't.
We weren't afraid of dying. We accepted it what seemed like a long time ago.
And I know what you're about to say. "Speak for yourself…," blah, blah, blah. Well, for your information, I know for a fact that we've all accepted it. How, you ask?
Sex.
We've all been having sex like rabbits. And not the lovey-dovey good feeling sex. The "last time on earth" sex.
Maryse had told us to be ready for anything. And we were. We treated every day like it was the last one we'd see.
Last night, I thought Maia and Jordan were being attacked by the way they were growling last night. And Isabelle had not so subtly picked up the vitamin B and I think I even heard Maryse and Robert knocking boots.
Jace had stopped asking me what was wrong when I cried during sex after a couple nights.
Whenever I looked into his eyes, those fearful gold eyes, it sent me into hysterics. The thought of losing him was unbearable. And the only thing he could do to make me feel better was give himself to me.
Which was what I really needed as I sat on the bed and talked to him.
I didn't want to have this conversation and neither did he. But it seemed like it was impossible to ignore.
"Clary." Jace's voice was hoarse. "I can't lose you."
I closed my eyes. "I can't lose you either. That's what it all comes down to."
"I know," he said. "But I just want you to know that I love you. And I'm sorry if I'm unable to-"
"Stop," I interrupted. "Don't even go there, Jace Herondale. I know you're doing everything you can to help me as I am doing you. And let's face it, what are the chances anyone comes out alive in this?"
Jace looked down.
"I know that's a hateful thing to say but I want you to be prepared. We'll meet up again."
Jace rolled his eyes. "Don't give me that psycho-babble bullshit."
"It's not bullshit. Have faith in Raziel. He'll bring us together. I promise."
Jace took my hand. "Just tell me something."
I nodded.
"Are we fighting for the right thing?"
"Absolutely," I said.
"Good," he whispered. "If I die tonight, I wanna die fighting for what's right."
"Well, you wanna know what I want?" My voice cracked in the question.
Jace looked up at me knowingly.
"You," I said lightly. "Before I lose you."
Jace and I didn't waste any time taking our clothes off. What used to be a playful banter of teasing and kissing turned into an almost unemotional strip.
Jace grabbed my hair almost painfully as I clawed his back.
I pretended that I had the ability to literally hang onto him. If he died than I died. But then I knew that I couldn't let that happen because if for some strange reason, Isabelle were to stay alive, half of herself would be missing. All because I wanted to stay with Jace.
But then again, was that really such a bad desire? Isabelle understood, didn't she? She felt the same way about Simon.
Tears sprung to my eyes and spilled over. I didn't bother hiding them. They seemed to become of great use to Jace. They were his cue to hammer into me.
Except without the hammering part. Jace was barely able to get himself excited for me. It didn't offend me though because it was the same with me.
Sex wasn't really sex anymore. It was just a reminder of what we would miss in the future.
The orgasm at the end that usually signaled the end of intercourse was gone. Whenever one of us got tired, we had to tell the other and we would stop. Just like that. No cold showers needed.
The only good thing that seemed to come out of this was that our parents didn't bother objecting to our activities. We were allowed to spend the night together.
The nightmares didn't seem half as bad when Jace was lying next to me. But for some reason, I wasn't as happy about that fact as I should be. Maybe I would be more content if I woke up and Jace was actually lying next to me.
I know he slept with me. I remember one night, I stayed up and watched him sleep. And then early in the morning, the time we were used to waking up for training, he got up and left.
And this morning was no different.
I woke up a little after nine and Jace was nowhere in sight.
After taking a long, tearful shower, just like every morning, I made my way downstairs for breakfast.
I took my regular seat next to Jace and he held out his hand for mine.
Almost robotically, I placed mine is his. But its normal warmth was gone. I noticed this about a week ago. I was still adapting to it.
Maryse shoved a boring bowl of cereal at me when at sat down.
Without a comment, I ate. The normally tasteful Frosted Flakes tasted like cardboard.
After breakfast, Jace and I walked to his room, still holding hands.
We watched TV for the rest of the day. And just when we were about to get ready for training that night, I knew it was time.
Idris…where's Idris?
I shot up from the bed.
"What?" Jace asked with a worried face.
I swallowed. "Idris. We have to get to Idris."
Uh-oh. Shit's about to go down haha. I hope you liked this chapter!
Review plz!
l
l
v