Hi readers, I'm so, so sorry for the delay between chapter, BUT! The past few months have been very exciting and very hectic! My fiance and I moved from California back to Pennsylvania after discovering that I was pregnant and we've been trying to find decent jobs and settle ourselves in. It's been a hell of a year, but I'm glad to be back with my little brother (who actually just left to visit California for Christmas)! As of right now, I'm 16 weeks and three days pregnant and I'm very, very nervous! So while I'm working part time and going to doctors appointments and driving around town chauffeuring my brother around and catching up on Supernatural, I've decided that I want to go back to writing because I miss it. And I would be so upset to have come so far in my Darcy Potter stories and not finish them. So I'm very determined.
I've been super, super excited to begin writing this story after the battle because now, it's up to me. I get to decide where the story goes and I PROMISE, it won't be taking after the nineteen years later chapter (which, as much as I was happy for the kids, I wished could have been a little different). So here's a new chapter for anyone else who actually is still interested and tell your friends to read the stories because I'd love some feedback. I've recently reread all of my stories and HOT DAMN I actually can see how far my writing has gone. I was young when I wrote my first story and now, at 20 years old, I plan on developing my writing even further.
Love y'all and enjoy!
The sun was rising and Darcy was alive to see it. Silence had fallen over the entire castle as everyone who was still breathing took a moment to reflect and be thankful. The Death Eaters were retreating quickly at the sight of Voldemort lying still on the floor, cold and lifeless. But the rebels, the students, the teachers, they were all hugging each other and kissing and talking wildly about their experiences, still in shock. But Darcy was quiet, her eyes fixed upon the back of Harry's head, who was still looking at the corpse on the ground before him.
She began to get choked up and tears rushed to her eyes as she finally realized that it was done and over and she was safe for the moment and Harry was alive. Her thoughts were not of Snape, Fred, Tonks, or even Lupin, but just Harry. How proud she was of him! How brave he was to keep going, despite knowing how the outcome was most likely to be. And when he turned around finally, Darcy saw the look on his face - relief. Pure relief. His grin was slowly growing and he saw his sister crying out of happiness for the first time in such a long time and he felt good about it.
Darcy covered her mouth and couldn't suppress a small sob. But before she fell to her knees, Harry had sprinted over to her, beating Lupin, and wrapped his arms around her so tightly that his dislocated shoulder popped right back into place. Neither said a word, but held each other, happy they made it out of the mess alive and together. Nothing else mattered to Darcy at that moment except for Harry, who had dropped his wand at her feet, wanting to touch her feet, to feel its warmth and know for certain it was Darcy and not a dream or a hallucination he was hugging.
Harry knew he would not have been able to do it without Darcy at his side. Her words of wisdom and encouragement led hime very step of the way. He constantly analyzed all of her thoughts carefully, knowing that she had some idea of what they were attempting to accomplish. And those hours of picking her brain had led them to this - standing by the cold body of Voldemort, while they lived. They had survived and completed their goal of keeping each other alive. And Harry was thankful.
Darcy felt Harry begin to whimper and she toughened up, stroking his hair and letting him sob into her shirt. She dared not let go, terrified that something was going to happen if she was not by his side constantly, watching him. She knew he was crying for several reasons, because she wanted to cry for the same ones. She knew he was happy, relieved, sad due to casualties, and the demise of the place he had once called home, but most importantly, he was scared and shaken up.
And thinking about that made Darcy cry harder, as she envisioned Snape in her arms, dying while she did nothing but try to stop his bleeding out. Tonks and her hair, which was always brown when she was upset, lying dead on the Great Hall floor, and how Teddy would never really know his mother because she had the courage to help fight alongside Darcy. She saw Fred, his blank smile stuck to his face, the way he would have wanted to go, but it all too soon... All the deaths she had seen were enough to make anyone break, but Darcy tried to remain strong, knowing that the battle was over, and there would be no more casualties. And she couldn't help but to smile at how honorable these casualties were. Those were her friends and Harry's and they did not turn their backs on the siblings, no matter what was published about them in the newspapers or taught in class. And that's when Darcy knew that Hogwarts was her true home. She realized people cared about her fate and her brother's, which was more important to her.
"Oh," she moaned, sudden pain shooting up her spine.
Harry pulled away from his sister and looked her in the face. And it was then he saw how truly awful she looked. Her eyes were wide and crazed, her pupils dilated. Her hair was matted with blood that he wasn't quite sure was her's and her arms, hands to her elbows, were also bloody with what he assumed to be enemy blood. While she didn't fight the biggest battle, she had fought, she had definitely fought. He looked over his shoulder, trying to find the red hair and bushy brown hair of his friends, and he caught Hermione's eyes quickly, as she was staring right at them. At the sight of Darcy and her wild smile, Hermione motioned for Harry to come to her and she grabbed Ron's hand and tugged on Lupin's sleeve, pulling them inside the castle.
The five of them wandered the hallways, which were unrecognizable the way they were blown to pieces, but Hermione was murmuring numbers under her breath, almost as if she were counting her steps. She still knew her way around. Lupin watched her carefully, listening to her counting to calm himself down. He walked right behind her, afraid to look at Darcy behind him.
Nineteen, twenty, twenty-one, twenty-two...
Where was Hermione leading them? Away from the crowd, of course, but why? Why couldn't they just go home? Lupin sighed. Where would they go? The Burrow? To put the burden of hurting children on Mrs. Weasley's shoulders? He had no home to go to and he knew Darcy didn't have one, either. Hogwarts was the only place they had.
Forty-four, forty-five, forty-six, forty-seven...
And then, after Lupin had stopped listening to Hermione count, they stopped in front of a door, half hanging off the hinges. The small, glass window that sat in the middle of the door was gone and Hermione stood on her tip-toes, looking through the hole to make sure no one was in the room. Once they entered the room, Lupin realized that it was his old room, his old classroom. He walked in first, slightly pushing Hermione and Ron out of the way. He took a good look around, at all the upside tables and the shredded curtains blowing in the breeze.
He felt Hermione shove him out of the way and he sighed, following her into his old office. There, Harry shut the door behind them and laid Darcy on the ground who was still smiling, gritting her teeth, and looking at the ceiling, as if something was there. She paid no attention to the people around her, with Harry as the only exception. She knew he was there, but did not say anything to him. She was whispering something, but no one could hear her. Darcy's face was pallid and her chest heaved. She looked like an animal.
Harry looked up at Lupin with tears in his eyes. "Fix her! Fix her!"
Lupin cocked an eyebrow. "I - I -" He didn't know what to say. "Fix her how, Harry? She's in shock! Only time will fix that."
"Look at her!" Harry cried, touching her hand. She responded with a laugh. "She wasn't like this twenty minutes ago!"
"Voldemort's dead now, Harry," Lupin replied. "Voldemort was just distracting her. All that adrenaline - now that there's nothing else, I - I can't fix her. She needs rest, a decent bed, a hot meal or two or a thousand. Magic can't fix this."
"What do we do?" Ron asked, crossing his arms. Harry was looking down at Darcy, who was shaking, but becoming a little more aware. "Why aren't we all like this?"
"Ron," Hermione hissed at him, giving his arm a small punch. "You know what happened to her."
"Take her to St. Mungo's!" Ron argued. "They'll be able to do something there!"
"Do you have any idea how long it'll take?" Lupin shouted, rubbing his temples. "That's the first place everyone's going to go and - and - her condition can't be treated by magic." He felt like no matter how many times he said it, they wouldn't understand. "I can't go anywhere with her in this condition right now, okay? Apparating could seriously hurt her."
Harry crouched down next to Darcy and noticed that she was calming down a bit. Her eyes seemed to return to normal, but her skin was clammy, and her heart rate was quickening. "You can't do anything?" he pleaded. "I need her to be better, Remus, please!"
"She'll be okay," Lupin promised them, his voice wavering. "I'm sure of it. She's a strong girl. She'll be okay." He looked around; all three kids were looking down at Darcy, as if she were about to attack. But Lupin had seen this before, in the first battle. How many more were there right now? Sitting in the Great Hall, shuddering? How many had watched best friends die before their eyes? Who was caring for those people? There just weren't enough staff to care for them all. "You - you guys should go. I'll watch her."
"N - not yet," Harry sighed. He stood and ran a hand through his hair. "You guys need to know what happened tonight."
"I think we all know what happened, Harry," Hermione said quietly.
"No, no, you don't," answered Harry. "Everything."
And while Darcy lie on the ground, as Harry recounted the story of the Pensieve, and the forest, and his wonderful meeting with Dumbledore, the rest of his friends sat and listened patiently, their eyes wide with amazement. Darcy already knew half the story and hardly listened, until Harry recalled the part with the forest, and he mentioned seeing their parents and Sirius and she began to cry through gritted teeth. It made her jealous, severely jealous, to know that Harry had been able to communicate with their family and she would never have that chance.
Harry felt immediately guilty for having said his story in front of Darcy. After all, she hadn't even been the topic of conversation. It was almost like she didn't exist to those ghosts. He wanted to say that she was all they talked about and how their mother raved about how beautiful she was and how their father spoke of what a wonderful woman she was. He wanted to say that even Sirius had something kind to say, but there hadn't been any talk of her.
When he finished his magnificent story, Lupin cleared his throat, nodding at Darcy, who was still crying silently. Harry could feel his stomach churning, but he left with Ron and Hermione, leaving his sister alone with Lupin. When she heard the door shut quietly, she rolled her head to look directly at Lupin.
"It hurts," she whispered. "Everything hurts, Remus."
Lupin wished he could do something. But there was absolutely nothing he could do to help her. He was no nurse or doctor and it was much too risky to try to cure her wounds. He was afraid his spells would hurt her, but what else was there to do? Lupin touched her cheek and her eyes closed as she nuzzled into his warm palm. And then, he laid down on the hard ground beside Darcy and pulled her to him. It comforted him to have her in his arms and she rested her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat, which sounded slightly erratic, but she expected nothing less after such a terrible battle.
And it was quick; Lupin looked away from her for a split second when all of a sudden she burst into tears again, this time very loudly. He tried to shush her, stroke her stained hair, kiss her temple, but nothing calmed her down, and he thought to himself that maybe Darcy would be like this the rest of his life. He hoped not - not for his sake (or so he wanted to believe), but for her sake as well.
He remembered a girl he used to know after the first war and how much it had affected her. She watched her husband-to-be die right in front of her and for the rest of her life (or at least for the rest of the time he knew her), she constantly woke up with nightmares and would burst out crying for no apparent reason during the day. She was sickly looking and needed someone by her side all the time. He wasn't sure what had become of her or if she was even still alive, but he knew that he didn't want his girl to be like that.
If Lupin knew Darcy, he knew she wouldn't be able to be happy again without her independence. But a part of him hoped she would be okay with Lupin next to her for the rest of her life. He knew it would be hard work to take care of her, but he was willing to do it. But imagining Darcy like that girl... It broke his heart to think of Darcy as a helpless adult, finally safe for the first time in years and not being able to do anything with herself. And what was going to happen to them both? With his condition permanent, and her's stuck for the time being, how could he take care of two people? He could hardly take care of himself. As much as he wanted to take care of Darcy, he wasn't sure that he would do a great job. But God he wanted to.
"Remus," she whispered and he hummed, wiping the tears off her cheeks. "Do you think my parents loved me?"
"Why would you ask that?" Lupin asked. "You know that they did."
"But if they were alive now," she continued, and Lupin noticed how strained her voice was, like it hurt to talk. "Do you think they'd still love me? Or do you think Harry would be the only child?"
"I - I don't understand," Lupin said. "Why wouldn't they love you, Darcy? You took care of their Harry - after all these years, look at who Harry runs to when he's in need. Don't you see how much he looks up to you? I'm not your father, but I'm proud of you and I love you. You're just such a good person, Darcy, that I wonder how anybody couldn't love you."
"Harry's accomplishments far outweigh my own," Darcy cried.
"You and Harry are not the same. Why do you think that? Just because you both have the last name doesn't mean you have to live up to the same expectations. If it means anything, I think you're pretty great."
"You're not too bad yourself," she laughed, which soon turned into a coughing fit. She draped an arm around Lupin's waist.
Everything in Darcy's body hurt. Her back hurt, probably from lying on the cold, hard ground. Her stomach hurt and was churning and she could have probably thrown up, but she kept it down. Everything was in so much pain, but with Lupin there, lying with her, knowing that she wasn't going to be blown up any waking moment, it was perfect. And with every sharp pain, Lupin's warm touch made it better. She could have stayed there forever with him, in the current state they both were in.
Lupin sighed. There was so much he had to tell her, but he wasn't sure it was the right time. But when would it ever be the right time? To tell her that it was his fault that Tonks was dead? To tell her that there was no more competition because he killed the other woman. If Tonks hadn't been so upbeat before her death, Lupin thought it would have been worse. If she had blamed him for everything right before she closed her eyes, Lupin would have been more heartbroken and probably lying dead next to her right now.
"Harry portrayed you as very brave," Lupin said. "In his story. Trying to save Snape - that was - that was very selfless of you."
"After all the times he helped me, Remus," she smiled weakly. "It was only right."
Lupin was quiet. No, it definitely wasn't time yet.