38
Hours after the bizarre announcement, Zelgadis had finally had it with Jedah and grabbed him by the shoulder, pulling him into the tower room high above Saillune. Barriers slammed into place, protecting the Palace residents at large from the potential dangers of an all-out fight, not that Zelgadis expected much of one. Jedah looked nearly drunk on his own audacity.
"Are you mad? Have you taken a full and complete leave of your senses? Marry Amelia? Drop the Council and Ambervale on my unsuspecting head?" Zelgadis was beyond incredulous, but he hadn't quite reached furious. That depended entirely on what Jedah said and did.
Jedah simply grinned. "Perhaps. Perhaps not. Either way, it's my story, not yours. You married the woman that you love, Zelgadis. It seems only natural that I should have the same freedoms." He was high on the mixture of emotion that had rippled through the Council during his storytelling, what he'd picked up from Naga alone had been more than enough to last him quite a long time.
Zelgadis glared at Jedah, sapphire blue eyes flashing his annoyance. "I didn't want a seat on the Council, Jedah. I sure as Hell didn't want Ambervale." Privately, he had to admit that he could have lived with the Council appointment. That wouldn't have bothered him too much. But Ambervale… that had been too much. Especially as he'd just given it to Jedah.
"Well, you hold both now, so rise to the occasion, Zelgadis." Jedah grinned that incredibly annoying and cheery grin of his, all teeth and sparkle. The damnable charm of it worked on Man and Mazoku alike, and Zelgadis had to fight the effects with more than a casual thought.
"I destroyed Ambervale, Jedah. My hands, my magic. I was the attacker that you stopped." Zelgadis had noticed the casual lack of information that Jedah had given about that, too. He hadn't identified the attacker in his dissertation. "Though I do appreciate you not naming me as the perpetrator of those crimes." He released Jedah's shoulder and turned away, pinching the bridge of his nose as he sighed, trying to decide what he could do to stabilize the situation.
Jedah stopped grinning, catching Zelgadis' arm and looking at the other man in complete and hard honesty. "That wasn't you, Zelgadis. That was Shabranigdo pulling the strings by which you were made to dance. You aren't the cold-blooded killer kind. Not like me, not like Rezo. You prefer the evils of the mind, the games of cat and mouse that are played my minds that match your own. You have no need or desire for mindless terrors that can be easily gained."
Zelgadis blinked, the words ringing true within his awareness. He'd not yet found his ultimate fulfillment, and he had attributed it to a lack of desire to actively seek it. But if mindgames were his realm… it made a good deal of sense. "That still doesn't make it right, Jedah. I served as the vessel for which the power to ruin a kingdom was brought to this world. My home, my birthplace. Shabranigdo or myself… what does it matter who was puppet and who held the strings? In the end, Ambervale still lies ruined."
"So rebuild it." Jedah retorted, dropping his hand, his gaze hardening further. "Atone for your perceived sin by making that title mean something again. Stop bellyaching about the past and do something about the future, because let me tell you something, Zelgadis; you don't have the corner on 'tragic past.' Hell, I don't even have that corner, and I'd say that my childhood was a good deal worse than yours."
"Jedah, what could be worse than learning that everything you remembered was false? That the memories I cherished of a little brother underfoot were lies made up by the supposed little brother in order to conceal the truth that he was the child of a Mazoku Lord, and significantly older? What truth could possibly be worse than growing up as a lie?" Zelgadis' voice was bleak, empty and tinged with a despair that he had learned to hide from even Lina's knowledge.
That question struck home; Jedah clearly wincing from the verbal blow. But instead of rising to the bait before him, a wry smile twisted his lips, and those winter blue eyes met Zelgadis' sapphire ones. "See? I was right. Mindgames are your specialty." He turned away, walking quietly across the tower room to lean out the window and close his eyes, feeling the wind against his face for a moment. When he'd let it go as long as he dared, he turned back into the room. "Zel…" He sighed again, shaking his head. "I understand, and you're right, of course. I had no business involving myself in your life."
Jedah couldn't look at Zelgadis, couldn't dare meet the eyes of the man who stood as Mazoku because of events that Jedah himself had partially orchestrated. He'd thought that they had hashed this out before, but the truth of the matter had only been lightly touched. He knew that he'd dropped the name of Zelgadis' mother, but he'd thought that at the very least, Rezo would have granted him that knowledge. If his brother hadn't been damned from the start, Jedah would have damned him all over again for it.
"I don't want to get in a fight with you, Zelgadis," Jedah said quietly, looking at the floor and studying the toes of his boots. "I don't want to throw fists, words, or magic. I've told you why I did what I did all those years ago, and my resolve hasn't changed. I wish that things had not gone as they did, wish that the sins of my brother did not weigh so heavily upon you. But he did what he did, and I did what I did."
Jedah wasn't looking up, didn't see Zelgadis's shoulders drop, and his eyes close painfully. "That wasn't my question, Jedah. I know all of that. I accept it." There was a sound, and Jedah lifted his gaze to see Zelgadis draw a table and chairs into the room, calling them from somewhere else. "And if you don't want to fight, then at least sit with me and talk. Years ago, you caught me up and forced me to listen. Now it's my turn. But I won't force you; I'll simply ask. Are you willing to learn the true nature of the Mortal heart?"