Chapter Thirty-Eight

Castle was laughing at her and she couldn't figure out what he thought might be even remotely funny. They had just found out that the guy who told them he had strangled their victim likely happened on the situation during or shortly after the man's murder. They had just found out the man had lied or been deluded in his confession, which as she thought of it wasn't much of a confession.

They had just found out that whoever had run her off the road and trashed her apartment, whoever had made veiled threats towards Alexis, was not the man they currently had in psychiatric lockup. Whoever had been after them was not safely tucked away under lock and key, they were still out there.

This was serious and he was laughing. It wasn't a full bodied laugh, more of a chuckle and she thought perhaps she detected a hint of nervousness to it.

Not only was he laughing, but he was moving her legs carefully back onto the couch so they were stretched along the length of it as he adjusted himself to sit behind her and pull her close, his chuckles vibrated through them both.

From this angle she couldn't even glare at him without nearly turning around and she found it frustrating as she tried to scoot away and he held her in place. His daughter had left to a friend's house, away from the guards and the safety his private security provided and he was sitting here trying to cuddle and laughing about the whole thing. Then it clicked and she made the effort to turn and glare at him, "You never sent them home, did you?"

She watched him shake his head as the laughter finally died away and a serious expression took over, "You think I would call for an outside expert opinion because I have doubts and then let my little girl head off without someone watching her back? Not a chance in hell." He told her and then his eyes glanced towards the front door and back to her. "Two guards are still standing in the hall here, two more in the lobby of the building where Alexis' friend lives."

He placed his hands on her shoulders and turned her so she was facing away from him again, her back against his chest as his hands moved to rub her neck. His deft fingers helped release the sudden tension of a moment before. "He confessed, though." Beckett told him, her need to explain why she hadn't seen any other option for the killer. Even to her own ears it sounded like a cover for her sudden realization that perhaps she really should have taken the time off right away. She felt a hint of shame at her inability to see what had been right in front of her.

"Did he, really?" Castle asked gently and she wondered if that tone was in reaction to her own. His soothing voice pitched low as he dropped a kiss on her head before starting back to work on the muscles in her shoulders.

"Yes, he did." She responded, not sure why she was so frustrated. "You left the room, Castle. While he was filling out the papers he was muttering to himself. Somewhere amidst his rambling he said, 'I choked the life out of him' and he apologized for running me off the road."

He didn't have a response for several seconds and the silence was entirely too much time for her to think through it all. "He used your own words?" Castle finally asked breaking the silence.

As she thought about it, she had described the crimes in exactly those terms. David Palmer simply grabbed onto her words and her conviction that he was guilty. He didn't have any idea what he was saying when he repeated them. As she thought about it, his tone had been shaky, but she had attributed it to his other pronounced mental problems. Now she knew it was because he was trying their version of the facts on like a new suit and she was suddenly furious with herself for not seeing it sooner.

"I hate cops like that." She finally said, the entire ordeal making her feel weary and worn down. "Cops that take the surface answers and go for the easy solve. He's crazy so he must be guilty." She heard the disdain in her voice and felt a sickening disgust with herself. "I fed him his damn confession and then accepted it when he parroted it back to me."

Castle hands stilled on her shoulder and moved away, for one brief moment she wondered if he was as disgusted with her as she was with herself. Almost before the thought fully formed, his arms were reaching around her midsection, gently pulling her back flush with his chest. His head came down, his cheek brushed against hers and then he stilled there a moment while they both breathed in the silence.

"That's why we make a good team." He finally told her, his soft tone soothing, but she heard that he was setting her up to tease him.

She let the opportunity pass and felt him sigh from the motion of his chest and the air skittering across her cheek. He was trying, but apparently didn't know how to deal with her like this. She wished she could help him, but she didn't know how to break out of this downward spiral any more than he did.

It was warranted, so there really was no need not to beat herself up about it. She screwed up.

"You know what I think?" he finally asked, his tone serious and she felt a moment of panic from the slight edge in it.

She was giving herself enough crap; she didn't need him to heap it on too. At the same time, she almost hoped that he would. She could have put him and his daughter in more danger because she called this one case closed when it wasn't. "What?" she finally asked, the frustration falling away a little as she felt a soul deep wariness taking hold. She almost didn't want to know what the next phrase out of his mouth would be.

As she silently waited his response, the one that was taking entirely too long for him to formulate, she felt herself on edge. Would he tell her she screwed up or remind her that it wasn't the first time? Was he going to tell her it wouldn't be the last time she made a mistake or remind her that someone could have been killed because she was that same type of bad cop just because she was tired?

She was sore and exhausted and more than ready for this who ordeal to be over, so she had jumped right on board when David Palmer was brought in. She let her own desire for the case to be solved get in the way of her pursuit of the truth. In her opinion that was unforgivable. She would understand if he felt the same way.

"I think," he finally said, breaking the silence and giving her a gentle kiss on the cheek, "That it's time for dessert."

"What?" How that man could think about sweets at a time like this she would never know. Sometimes he was absolutely the most ridiculous man, and she loved it.

"Come on, Beckett. Live a little." He said as he held her away from him so he could get his leg back from between her and the couch. When he turned to her he had a smile on his face that she couldn't help but return. That damn boyish charm worked every time. "You want to make a sundae or should I just grab a can of whipped cream?"

After a moment, his enthusiasm and that smile wore down her self-loathing. "Let's go with option two, I'm still pretty full from that lasagna."

His grin grew as he headed off to the kitchen, returning a moment later with the can of whipped cream as well as some water and her pill bottle.

"I'm not taking those. I need to be alert." She told him firmly as she sat up fully and snatched the whipped cream from him instead of the glass of water he was offering her.

"You can't be comfortable." He told her, "You haven't taken anything since this morning."

She rolled her eyes as she shook the can, "I think I've held up quite well, don't you?" she asked suggestively, letting her gaze drift down his body and back up slowly. The look in his eyes told her she was likely to win this argument. Beckett tipped her head back and sprayed some whipped cream into her mouth.

He was still giving her an intensely serious look by the time she swallowed, but he set the glass down on the table and took a seat next to her. Castle snatched the can from her hand and had a shot of whipped cream himself, the glare finally falling off his face. It was probably more to do with the sweet treat filling his mouth than her reassurance.

"Would you actually take it if you needed it?" he finally asked, passing the can back to her.

Kate shifted to rest her back against his side and stretch her legs out over the length of the couch. His arm came around her as he shifted so she was leaning more steadily against his chest. She burrowed in a little more closely before responding, "This is all I need right now to feel like everything's fine."

He kissed her head as his fingers played with the ends of her hair, twirling it and running through. "You didn't answer my question."

She had been about to have more whipped cream, but stopped with the can tilted up to look over her shoulder at him. "Yes. I did yesterday and this morning. If I need help with the pain I will take some. I really don't like how they make me feel." She finally explained.

"Is that all?" he asked, that teasing note in his voice, "Because I thought you were cute as hell hopped up on pain killers."

"Cute or not, I don't like feeling out of control."

He laughed, "Believe me, after today, I will never doubt that."

"Funny." She replied sarcastically and finally had some more whipped cream before passing the can back to him.

"How about something that's not a narcotic? I could get you some ibuprofen." He offered.

She agreed to the compromise and he disappeared, putting the whipped cream back in the fridge and coming back with another bottle of pills. She took three with the water he'd brought and then stood up.

"Lay down." She told him. He gave her a strange look, but complied. Carefully she crawled back onto the couch, lying on her right side with her back to the couch, her left side and injured leg supported over his body. "This ok?" she asked.

He nodded, shifting just slightly as if getting comfortable. "Are you going to sleep? Because we could go upstairs."

Kate propped her chin on a hand over his chest so she could look at him while she shook her head, "Not ready yet." She explained and he simply smiled and nodded in response.

Castle stretched out to grab the remote off the table and settled back next to her. He turned on a movie, but she didn't make it through the opening credits before the sound of his heart, strong and steady combined with the gentle motion of his hand caressing her back, lulled her to sleep.

x.x.x

A/N: Some of you were wondering about Kate's question at the end of the last chapter concerning Alexis, I hope this cleared up that she had been concerned about the girl on finding out that they really didn't catch the bad guy. I didn't lead into it very well thanks to it being almost midnight when I got to the end and I had been up since 5am, I'm surprised any of the last half of that chapter was coherent at all.

I started a new story today, I know I shouldn't have done that since I'm not done with this one yet, but this one is getting close to the end and that idea popped into my head. I couldn't shake it. This will still be my main focus, and I will try to keep that one as just a side project while I finish this one up. This is just a warning that I may drop a day of updates here or there when that storyline gets to me.

Reviews that made my day, all of you who appreciated the Bones cameos, I was a little concerned that bringing in another show's characters would be too distracting, but they are just playing a small guest role that advances my plot, so I shouldn't have been so worried.

Also, those of you who said don't worry, it's not bad as far as smut and I shouldn't worry about the M rating. Thanks for the encouragement, but I was still restraining myself, getting warmed up to the idea I guess. That M will be fully earned in future chapter(s), I think.

Thank you, everyone for reading.