"Tell me something true."
Connie whispered, her head resting on Max's chest, her legs stretched down the length of the bed, the cover loosely pulled up to their waists.
"Something true, something true..."
Max inhaled as he spoke, his chest rising beneath her, his skin was warm smelled of bubble bath.
"I hate peas."
He said at last and she smiled gently against him, tracing small circles against the skin of his stomach, feeling the flutter of his skin beneath her fingertips.
"No, something real, something no one else knows."
She murmured.
"Something no one else knows..."
He repeated it slowly, rolling the words around his mouth, narrowing his eyes.
"Well, that's a very difficult question."
He decided, and he exhaled and tilted his head so that she could feel the stubble of his jaw against her forehead.
"Why's that?"
She asked quietly, and she stopped drawing circles and pressed her hand flat against his stomach, feeling the heat of him and the soft hairs that curled beneath her palm.
"Because I can only think of one thing that nobody else knows, and I'm not sure if I'm ready to tell you it."
He said slowly, and she raised herself up slightly so that she looked down on him, her hair falling over one shoulder, the waves of it pooling against his chest.
She just looked at him, not sure whether she was waiting for him to speak, or whether she was just thinking over what he'd said, wondering whether it could have meant something else...
But she could see it on his lips, they hesitated, half open as if he couldn't quite bring himself to speak.
"What about you?"
He whispered finally, and his voice came out all in one breath, relieved to find something to say.
She drew in a breath, held it for a moment and let it out slowly through her nose.
"Too many things."
She breathed, and she shuffled closer to him.
"But more than anything I'm scared."
She whispered.
He tightened his grip on her, brushing his chin against her.
"What're you scared of?"
He asked quietly.
She cleared her throat.
"Aside from the obvious?"
She asked, all to aware that he hadn't wanted her to think of the attack, of the policeman sitting outside her house and he nodded against her.
"I'm scared of this..."
She let her words tail off and he waited for her to continue.
"I'm scared that you'll give up on me, that I'm just some passing fancy...and I'm scared of what people will think..."
"Because I'm just a porter?"
He cut in softly and she raised her head to look up at him again.
"I've just had enough of being gossiped about, and this...this would just give them more to laugh about."
She looked down at him, wishing he could understand.
"Why would they laugh?"
He asked carefully, looking back up at her, her hand pressed firmly against his chest.
She sighed again and slipped her hand up to touch his collar bone.
"Because I'm a porter?"
He said again and she frowned.
"No! No...even if you were a doctor, or a consultant, you're still a lot younger than me, I'm sure most people would assume It was just a fling..."
She stopped, aware that what she'd said implied that it was something more.
"And people like you, the staff like you, I don't want your being with me to negatively affect you."
He frowned as she spoke and placed a hand across his face, briefly covering his eyes.
"This is a bit deep for post-sex talk."
He mumbled, slipping his hand from his face and letting it fall against the pillow.
"I just don't know if I can handle all of that at the moment. And as for Guy...I don't want to give him any more reasons to get rid of me."
She pulled in a breath.
"I don't want to have the added pressure of living up to other people's expectations, to have them waiting for us to fail..."
"I know."
He said quietly and he cupped the side of his face with his hand.
"Is that why you do it?"
He asked after a pause.
"Do what?"
"You push people away. You don't let them help you, even when you need it...you terrify and disappoint them from the start and then you're covered?"
He asked and from above him she her jaw tightened and she looked down at him without blinking.
"Something like that..."
She murmured and he ran his thumb along the length of her jaw.
"Well! You screwed up."
He said with a slight shrug of his shoulders.
"Pardon?"
She frowned, though he smiled.
"You never disappointed me."
More soon. My children have been surprisingly well behaved today so I've managed to update quite a few of my stories. Hope they've been enjoyed and everyones having a good day! xxx