"Where are we?" Bilbo asked, lifting his head to see the unfamiliar trees surrounding them. They had been walking for days, but he had no clue where they were going or where they had come from.
"We're in Mirkwood Mr. Bilbo," Bofur said, but they couldn't be in Mirkwood. The elves wouldn't let them pass. They wouldn't even let them hunt in the woods. They had kept such a close eye on them. Why were they in the woods?
"Whose Mr. Bilbo?" Bilbo asked.
"That's you silly," Bofur said.
"No it's not," Bilbo shook his head. Bofur must be suffering some sort of sickness if he couldn't even remember the name of his own prince. Perhaps they should take a rest for a bit so Bofur might be able to get his head on right again.
"Of course it is Mr. Bilbo," Bofur denied and Bilbo frowned. He opened his mouth to object once more, but before he could his husband called the company to a halt in front of a river.
"Is he out of it again?" Thorin asked, coming up to them.
"Again?" Bilbo asked. "Bofur, if you truly are that sick that you keep going out of it, perhaps you should go visit a healer. I suggest Oin. He is the best healer in all of Ered Luin."
Thorin raised a brow at him. "He is," Bofur said. "There's hardly a time where he isn't completely out of it. Though none of us are really doing much better. These forests really are dark and their affecting him really badly."
"Is that water?" Bilbo asked, noticing the river that they had stopped at once more. He was suddenly quite thirsty and he lurched forward to take a sip of it, but before he could Fili and Kili caught ahold of him. They were very big. Much bigger than he remembered them being. "Why you boys have grown!" he exclaimed, completely forgetting about the water. "Your such big boys now. I always knew you would grow up to be so big and strong."
"I think it'd probably be best if we got out of here as soon as possible," Thorin said, staring at Bilbo with a raised brow.
"Where is here?" Bilbo asked. "There's so many trees everywhere. I've never seen so many trees. Where are we?"
"I just told you," Bofur spoke up. "We're in Mirkwood."
Bilbo frowned at that. They weren't allowed in Mirkwood. The elves were keeping them out.
Suddenly, the wooden bridge caught Bilbo's eye and he walked over to it. It had long since been rotted through, and Bilbo almost fell over examining the rot. "Shoddy workmanship," he said with a nod. "Shoddy workmanship."
Bilbo stared at the bridge before him with narrowed eyes. By rule, ever since he had almost fallen to his death, he didn't like crossing bridges in the first place, but there was something more about this one that just didn't sit right with him.
"Haran?" Thorin asked beside him, wondering why he stopped so suddenly.
"Can we not go another way?" Bilbo asked. They were only newly married and this was the first time that Bilbo was accompanying Thorin to this particular area of the mountain. The prince had been summoned to settle some dispute or another between people and Bilbo was determined to start joining him on any and all royal matters. He wanted to learn everything so that he could help his husband in the future when he became away.
"We can," Thorin said, "but it would be half a day's walk and it's already past lunch time. This bridge is the quickest way to that side of the mountain. Is something bothering you?"
"I don't like bridges," Bilbo frowned. He hadn't yet told his new husband about his dislike of heights, but it would have happened sooner or later. What better time than to avoid this bridge.
Thorin frowned. "We've passed over several together." But before Bilbo could explain himself he continued. "If you'd like, you can go back. I will go and settle things and I will be back for dinner."
"No," Bilbo shook his head. He had decided that he was going to join Thorin during his royal duties and he would not go back on his word now. "I'm sure I'll be fine." He took a step forward, but stopped once more when he realized just what was bothering him about this particular bridge. The mountain itself was telling him not to go that way and if the mountain had reason not to trust something made of its own rock then Bilbo certainly wouldn't trust it either. "I think that it actually may be best that we go another way," he said, stopping Thorin in his tracks.
His husband opened his mouth to say something, but, suddenly, the mountain shook. Rocks fell around them and Thorin immediately pulled him into a protective hug so that none of them would hit him. But the only thing that Bilbo saw was the bridge that crumbled and fell. Had they walked on without delay, both of them would have fallen into the chasm below where they would surely meet their deaths.
"An earthquake," Thorin growled, looking at the bridge. "That bridge was not made to our standards. It's lucky that it hasn't collapsed until this point."
"Shoddy workmanship," Bilbo agreed. "Let's go back to the throne room and see if we are needed to help the miners dig people out."
Thorin nodded, but grabbed Bilbo's arm before he could go. "I don't know what I would have done had you been on that bridge. I'm sorry that I almost made you cross it."
"It wasn't your fault," Bilbo shook his head. "That bridge has been there for a while and no one has noticed that it wasn't made to standard."
"You did," Thorin pointed out.
"The mountain did," Bilbo shook his head. "It told me not to go that way."
"The mountain?" Thorin asked.
Bilbo nodded. "I'll explain later. We really do need to go see if anyone needs our help."
"That's right Mr. Bilbo," Bofur said as he caught Bilbo's arm and guided him back off the bridge. "We dwarves could have made a much nicer stone bridge that wouldn't have fallen so easy."
"Stone would be much better," Bilbo agreed. "Why didn't you use stone. You always use stone."
"We didn't make the bridge," Bofur said. "It was the elves that made it."
"The elves?" Bilbo asked, looking around. "I don't see any elves."
"There aren't any right now," Bofur replied.
"If they aren't here then how did they make the bridge?"
"They made it a while ago, which is why it collapsed. You see?"
"And, which is why we need to find another way across," Thorin cut in.
"Another way across what?" Bilbo asked.
"The river," Bofur answered.
"We could swim," Bilbo said, but he frowned a moment later. "Hobbits can't swim. Did you know? We just sink right to the bottom like rocks. It doesn't make any sense. Why can dwarves swim when their made like rocks, but hobbits can't swim because they sink like rocks? It doesn't make any sense. But we could swim across the water."
"We can't," Bofur said. "Don't you remember, Mr. Bilbo? The water's enchanted. We can't even touch it."
"Enchanted?" Bilbo asked. "Like the elves?"
"I've had enough dallying," Thorin cut in again. "All of you, look for a way across, but don't leave the path."
"We could take a boat," Bilbo suggested. "A floating boat, you know? A floating rowing boat."
"And where would you suggest we get such a boat?" Thorin scowled. Bilbo frowned at his husband. The dwarf must be tired if he's resorted to snapping at his husband in such a way.
"It's right there," Bilbo pointed across the water and Thorin sighed.
"You're just seeing things again," he said, turning away.
"Wait," Kili said, peering across the water. "Uncle, there really is a boat over there just like Bilbo said."
"A floating rowing boat," Bilbo agreed with a smile.
AN: So I'm going to Megacon in Orlando FL this Friday in case anyone's going. I already announced it in another one of my fics, but I thought I should also announce it here for those of you who are only subscribed to this story. I'll be dressed as and older Little Red and you'll be able to recognize me because I'll be with drarrysinful (that's her tumblr name) who will be dressed as Harry Potter. Hope to see you there!