/ / / Scott \ \ \

Scott walked into Stiles' bedroom and found him flat on his back above the blankets staring up at the ceiling. He didn't react to the door opening even though the room flooded with light. He closed the door and laid down on the bed next to Stiles.

Stiles didn't say anything just slid his hand into Scott's. It was something they had always done, started when they were young and in kindergarten. If something then had been bad they would hold hands, when the other students had bullied Stiles because he was so different and couldn't always concentrate on anything they'd hold hands. Then as they got older they'd hold hands when they wanted to have some comfort while they talked about things.

Scott had held onto Stiles until his fingers had gone numb when he'd told Stiles about his dad leaving. Scott had held on for Stiles, who couldn't seem to hold on himself, when Stiles' mum died, when he told Scott about how worried he was about his dad, while he'd cried. As they got older they hadn't really had any reason to do it again until Scott thought he killed that girl in his last year of high school, until Allison left him, and now that Stiles lost the blanket of positivity he'd had wrapped around him since the explosion.

They had all been waiting for Stiles to fall apart, to cry and rant and rage against what had happened to him. They had expected it but with the exception of a couple of sad days and some night time crying jags that they all pretended they didn't know about Stiles had been mostly positive, he'd done his physical therapy and he'd been honest about the fact he might never get his hearing back. Stiles had thrown himself into learning sign language and doing what he could to help them catch the woman who'd done this. He'd welcomed Jenny in and had welcomed the help she had been able to give. For the most part Jenny talked to Scott, Derek still didn't trust her, like he didn't trust any hunters, not even Chris after all these years. One of Jenny's contacts had been able to get some information, not a lot but a name…Sarah, from what they could tell from the photo it was the same woman even if the photo was terrible.

They lay there for a long time staring silently up at the roof before Stiles spoke.

"It changes everything," Stiles whispered so quietly Scott needed to let the wolf out a little to be able to hear. "It changes everything, it changes absolutely everything. I thought it would be okay but I'm just useless and broken now and no one is going to look at me the same."

Scott wanted to say something but Stiles wouldn't be able to hear him and turning on the light so he can read it would just make everything worse. So he had to just laid there and waited.

"I will have to find a new job. I can't keep doing it if I'm deaf. I won't be able to train with you lot anymore, I won't be able to go out on missions and I won't be able to go to movies. I'll never hear Chloe talk to me again, I'll never get to do so many things I wanted to. My life is different and I kept telling myself it would be okay, I kept telling myself that even if things are permanent that some things would never change but they will. I'll just be your deaf friend who you have to make changes for, make allowances for. You will have to explain things to me and nothing will be as easy as it was before."

Scott ignored the wetness in his eyes as he tightened his grip on Stiles' hand. He'd never ever heard his friend sound so defeated, in all their life, after his mother died, when they were about to be killed by a rabid, psychotic werewolf or a rabid, psychotic hunter he had never sounded like things weren't going to be okay somehow. He needed to ask him what had happened, what had changed. Something must have.

Scott lifted Stiles' hand and traced out a word on the back of his hand. W H Y ?

"You were wrong," Stiles said. "You said I should say something to Derek but me being deaf changed everything and now I'm not going to be good enough anymore. I'll still be part of the pack but what's the point if he only keeps me because he pities me."

Scott wanted to go and beat the ever living shit out of Derek for whatever he had done to make Stiles think that.

"Don't bother," Stiles said. "It's not worth it, it's not his fault. He's just being honest, well not very honest but he's trying to save my feelings by lying so we'll just forget about it."

Scott didn't know what the hell Derek had done but he definitely needed to be spoken to about being an insensitive jerk. Scott had been so sure, he'd been watching Derek and he'd been so fucking sure that Derek still felt the same, that he was guilty but underneath that he still loved Stiles, still thought he was worth more than this. Scott swore and pulled his phone out, he wouldn't turn the light on but he needed to ask a question. He typed his question out on a text window and held it up for Stiles to see.

When the fuck did he say that to you?

Stiles shook his head in the white light from the screen. "He didn't say that to me, he's very carefully not told me what will happen in the future. He's been honest about the fact that things will change, he's kept me out of everything and lied to me about what happened…the other day. I just…forget it." Stiles handed the phone back and pulled a pillow down and over his head.

Scott frowned. He didn't know if this was the negative swing his mother had warned him about or something his stupid, insensitive, idiotic alpha had said. When he left he'd go to Derek's and find out how stupid he'd been and whether he needed to knock some sense into the older werewolf. For now supporting Stiles was more important than anything else.

Later when Stiles was asleep he left and drove to Derek's.

"Did you tell Stiles that you'd only be keeping him in the pack out of pity?" Scott demanded as soon as the door opened. "Did you make him think that if he's deaf he'd just be a burden we'd deal with because we have to?"

"No, what the hell are you talking about?" Derek asked looking truly confused and fairly annoyed.

"Stiles is depressed, I went there today and he thinks that we are going to kick him out or that we are going to eventually see him as something that we pity and deal with, make concessions for just because we feel we have to. He said something about you so if you have done anything in the last week to change things I am going to have to kill you."

Derek dropped his head and shook it. "I have seen him for sign language lessons and we have spent some time playing board games with the pack. We've been playing chess, like normal, but I swear I haven't said anything to him about him being a burden." Derek refused to meet his eyes. "You know I would never think he's a burden. If he doesn't recover the things he can do will change but he should know that none of us would ever walk away from him."

"And that's the problem," Scott said with a sigh. "He's feeling like we have to stand by him, he doesn't seem to realise that we are doing it because we want to, because we want him there all the time instead of just having to do it."

Derek nodded. "Then we need to fix it."

"Are you sure you didn't say something when you were being all honest and distant instead of dealing with your baseless guilt and the fact you're in love with him and won't say anything."

Derek looked up at him sharply. "What makes you think I am in love with him?"

Scott laughed. "You've been falling in love with him since he came home after university. You might be emotionally stunted but we all know you. Like we knew Danny and Jackson were going at it we know you are in love with Stiles. Have you thought about saying something?"

"I caused his injuries."

"That psychotic bitch that set the bomb caused them. You saved him, you protected him from the fire that burned your back to shit and would have killed him. You kept him from dying for fuck's sake. You do not need to be guilty about everything that happens. Sure he might not have broken a rib without you on him but he also wouldn't be able to be home now because he'd be in some burn unit in pain that none of us would be able to help. Him being deaf we can do something about. We will learn sign language and we will write everything and we will do whatever we have to make things work for him but we couldn't have done anything for the burns."

Derek looked a little overwhelmed at Scott's outburst.

"If you haven't said anything to him in the last week then we'll just have to find something to do to make him feel better." Scott said when Derek didn't respond.

Derek nodded. "We will and I really didn't."

"Okay, sorry for waking you up."

"It's fine. Is he going to be okay?"

"We'll make sure he is." Scott said firmly and turned around to leave. He would need to call Lydia and Danny and think of something but for now he could cross one thing off his list of possible causes.