That was not, to say, that this was a bad thing; it had kept him relatively sane, while Maruchin had slowly devolved into a dirty hoarder, and Sayo had simply taken after the nearest adult to the nth degree.
Sadly, this adult was Sensei, which left much to be desired.
Oh, he was strong, no question. He could tell why Sayo secretly took after him; the man had an ease of looking into world that no other person they'd met could quite replicate. He simply looked unruffled by a lot of what happened, and when life was usually uncertain and full of terror, that was an enviable trait.
But man.
What a fucking weirdo.
God, being like Sensei was not a fair trade, what the man had in nerves of steel, he lacked in every single other social nicety, possibly in existence. Poor, poor decision on her part.
He shot the, reluctantly admitted, beautiful girl at his side an uncertain look. Sayo, you sure you wanna be like this guy?
His gaze drifted back to his sensei, where he appeared to be holding a picture in his hand and muttering to himself while stroking it, despite not actually looking at the photo. Instead, his eye whizzed around, focusing on people for the briefest of seconds, unsettlingly usually at waist height.
Did he not realize that everyone around him was terrified of him to more or less degrees?
Well.
Except Maru.
Maruchin didn't really seem to care at all, in fact, taking in the man's eccentricities with a judging look and dismissing him as another powerful person with a couple vices. As a child of the Red Lanterns, Saeki himself really should have been the same way, but it was...different?
Something about the fact that the man was now responsible for his life, made him reluctant to wave Kakashi-sensei off. Perhaps because his eccentricities stood a good chance of getting them all killed?
That featureless black eye flicked to his face, taking in Saeki's expression and it's implications with a seeming degree of amusement he reserved for things that weren't considered threats.
That was to say - everything he'd come in contact with so far.
Saeki dreaded the moment his carelessly invincible sensei took anything seriously. Saeki'd probably be bravely sacrificed as a meatshield that day. Most expendable indeed. Ugh.
Saeki wasn't even big enough to be a meatshield! He was too skinny! And while maybe he may have resented that fact, now he'd fight to keep it that way, thank you. If he was gonna be forced to be a meatshield, he'd be the shittiest one possible in hopes that the person behind him died anyway.
Unconsciously, he thrust his chest out and began strutting a little. He had this all planned out. Try and sacrifice him, would they! Well, they might succeed, but they'd regret it!
Probably. Blackmail only worked on people with shame, and as far as Saeki could tell, his sensei was seemingly unfamiliar with the concept of shame altogether.
He and Sensei weren't the only one's shooting suspicious looks around, however. The guards also flicked looks back, at him, Sayo and Maruchin in turn, bouncing like pollen off a wall to each in turn. They may have talked a big game when this little procession set out, but the closer they got to the capital, the more silent they fell. Those were nervous eyes that looked around, and Saeki met them with bravery he didn't quite feel. Maru was looking back like the guards had offended him somehow. Sayo, he knew, would ignore them, instead staring at sensei and trying to copy his movements like she usually did.
Sayo had a bad habit, in that she had seen Sensei simply walk through them a few too many times, and was now convinced the secret to the trick was in the way he walked itself. Sensei, naturally, had noticed and varied up his walk every thirty-or-so paces, probably to fuck with her. She somehow still bought it, and copied each one as perfectly as she could, practicing them around their campfire. It was very dumb, and he cherished every single time as the blind stupidity it was.
He wasn't gonna be the one to tell her. Maruchin could do that if he wanted. His brother in all but blood, and yet somehow the least trustworthy person he'd ever met. He knew exactly what Maru was doing right now; practicing putting each guard in turn under Genjutsu as secretly as possible. Hence the look of offense; it was quite difficult.
They'd objected to this at one point, briefly claiming they 'had rights' and 'it hurt', but three kunai under their bedsheets had quieted concerns quickly enough
Maru was getting good at this, it only took him five minutes to work through it with no one noticing, compared to the fifteen he'd started at when they had left Konoha.
Everyone was progressing...in their own ways.
As for himself...
"What are you doing." Sensei asked bluntly.
Shocked, he felt his shoulders briefly bounce up before he allowed his pulse to settle. "Uh?"
Sensei rolled his eye. "I've been watching you duckwalk for a quarter mile now, what the hell are you doing."
"I'm practicing tree-walking." He said proudly. It was his own idea; he was struggling getting the right amount of chakra to his feet, so what if he practiced on the safe ground? It was genius, absolute genius.
"Why are you like this?" Sensei pleaded the heavens. Saeki was somewhat hurt by this. What was wrong with his idea?
"Okay." Sensei sighed loudly, snorting a little. "Okay, so Saeki." Sensei took on a lecturing pose while facing him. A quick, curious look down revealed that the man was crabwalking, yet still somehow keeping to the same pace. Beside him, Sayo faced sensei, and began imitating his crabwalk in dire curiosity, immediately falling behind.
He refused to look at her. Maruchin held no such compunctions, pointing and snickering loudly as the guards they were walking beside shot them odd looks. They'd already fallen back to the second, unimportant caravan (according to Sensei), so that meant she was now trailing heavily behind the entire procession. How awkward.
"Sensei." He asked stubbornly. "What am I doing wrong."
"Saeki," he said impatiently. "Is your sense of balance the same on the ground as on a wall."
His mouth opened in understanding. Light, the light of understanding burned through his mind, scorching his thought processes and revealing the truth: walking up a tree wasn't the same as walking on the ground.
"No shut up, if you keep talking I might actually get stupider for trying to think through your thought process." Sensei waved a hand in front of his face like he was trying to dispel some bad air. "Dear sweet child, please never explain how you come up with these ideas, and instead simply hear and obey your beloved sensei."
Rude. Saeki teared up a little. How uncompromisingly hurtful. That was fucked up, who said that?!
"Yeah, Saeki." Sayo's scornful voice rang out. "Just get good. Or ask for help."
He shot a look back. She was still trailing, and only getting farther away. A quick look at sensei showed the man's black pupil briefly flicker to her and back, revealing that the man was taking the same, if not more, joy at her predicament.
He felt nothing but shame for having to interact with these people publically.
"Why don't you ask your team for help?" Sensei asked instead. "They, despite my continued efforts, continued to exist. You might as well take advantage of my ongoing hardship."
His lips set flatly, old feelings of inferiority and jealousy beginning to curdle in his gut once more. Well, he couldn't do that, now could he. Not while his brilliant, good-looking teammates blew past him and only grew more powerful, while he lamed it out behind.
"I mean," Sensei continued loudly. "It's not like they're talented or anything, for you to feel bad about it. You all kind of suck, so you might as well work together on this shit."
Oh fuck you man.
"Where's your team then sensei." He spat bitterly. "Maybe they can help."
Kakashi-sensei mulled over that for a second. "Dead...?" He replied slowly. "I killed them all."
Saeki turned that over in his head.
"I can see it." He admitted.
Well, now he felt bad and shit, for hitting an obvious...sore spot...?
"You know." Saeki said. "When you said that, I expected grief, not satisfaction on your face."
Kakashi ruffled his hair. "These things are situational."
-
Kakashi looked at Rin's dead body, the echoing sound of metal ringing and men fighting around him slowly ebbing away. Eventually, he was left with the sound of silence buzzing in his ear, and a feeling welling up deep in his body and spilling past his lips. "Oops. I hit her heart by accident." "Oops?!" A growling voice shattered his inner peace and intruded. "Kakashi Kakashi whirled around "Obito?!" "Yes, cunt!" Obito said, only...half-formed from a whirling dreamlike eddy. Kakashi stared, taking him in. It was...half. Half of his best friend and hero, clawing itself into reality. The half he recognized was achingly similar, scruffy hair, sleep-bagged eyes, horrible acne scars and oily face. Ew. The face however, was twisted and scarred from unfamiliar emotion, so much so that Kakashi could only barely recognize the features he'd so dearly missed. Hatred and scorn and despair and sadness and anger and vitrol and bitterness, all deepset, all so...familiar...to his And the face was...only half there... And so... "Oh I see." Kakashi said, slowly putting his fists up. Dream-Obito blinked in deep confusion. "Wha- wow, you accepted me alive pretty quickly." "Of course." Kakashi said serenely. "I am prepared." "Prep-" Obito's eyes narrowed. "Kakashi, what the hell do you think is going on now." "I am approaching enlightenment," Kakashi said distantly. "And thus, it is time to face my inner demons." "How the fuck do you do this shit Kakashi." Obito said, deeply frustrated. The frustration was, of course, a reflection of his own despair and frustration at the deaths of his teammates. He needed to learn to move on, and accept himself. This is what Obito wanted. "Double Chidori Style Taijutsu." Kakashi said firmly, fists loosening into claw-like open palms. The chakra welled within himself, burning and eager as ever, crawling like ants under his skin until it burst out with palpable relief. "Kakashi no, this is not what Obito wants." Obito said, dreamlike quality wavering. "This is...this is some weird...clone shit, that healed me. I'm still me." "I hadn't realized I mentally justified things to myself so much." Kakashi mused. "That is "I'm glad you're so in focus." Kakashi said. "It means that even if you fade from my mind, I'll never forget you. Thank you Obito." "No, wa- wait hold on, did you say thank you?" Kakashi nodded. Obito puffed himself up. "We-he-hell, look who's moved up in the world, thanks from Hatak- okay no, hold the fuck up that's unimportant." He gently slapped himself. "Focus Obito, focus." He straightened up. "Okay, yeah no, why the fuck is "She was a Jinchuuriki." Kakashi told himself. "I cannot be forgiven in this lifetime, but I made my choices. I will carry on her will." "A jinchuuriki..." he said, eyes far away. "So thats how the war went, huh. Sounds like you guys had a tough time too..." Dream-Obito's eyes focused with a burning intensity. "You selfish prick." Drobito said angrily. "Carry on her will my ass. Fuck you, you don't have the right to that hell did Something about that sounded off for a second. On a hunch, Kakashi whirled around for a second and - Her body was gone. Rin's limp corpse had vanished. Gone, like an ethereal breeze. A deep, choking relief welled up in his heart. Tears pricked Kakashi's eye. "Thank you me. I didn't know I could be so verbose." "I didn't intend you to take it that way." Obito said, slightly lost. "I kinda wanted to piss you off. Now the moods gone, and I kinda feel like crying 'cause technically both my friends are gone now and I don't know what the fuck I'm doing anymore." "I will move on with my life, stronger for this." Kakashi firmed his resolve, standing slightly taller as the dream-being voiced his inner doubts. He had the strength to face it. Rin wasn't dead, because Rin was never here. All of this, was a test of his own strength. "Wha-okay yeah, no, yeah, you uh, you did it." Drobito waved his hands over his head. "You achieved enlightenment, all your actions are justified in and of themselves, well done. Now go - go away. Fuck up Mizu while I do something about Rin. I managed to get hee body before she fully died so hopefully I-." "Excellent." Kakashi dashed to Obito and rammed both blazing hands through his gut. "I will move on." Even the flesh was somewhat spongy. Kakashi was impressed; dream-demons were higher-res these days. "YOU SON OF A BIT-" Drobito howled, before his non-corpse swirled into heavenly spirals and vanished. Kakashi was alone on the battlefield, surrounded by devastation. He blinked. "Did He looked around. "Damn, I gotta lay off the gunpowder." Kakashi mused.
-
Sayo blinked. "Can you touch hallucinations?" She wondered, having given up and caught up to them.
"That's basically what happened." Kakashi-sensei insisted. "Touch-based genjutsu works all the time, so why not touch-demons?"
"Because genjutsu is caused by people sensei." She said hesitantly. "Demons you conjure yourself - what the fuck - shouldn't be mutable. Why did you need to kill them anyway."
"Well, I figured it was kinda like that thing the Samurai always go on about." Kakashi waved a lazy hand at the guards, who pretended not to be listening in. "If you see the Sage on the side of the road, hold nothing sacred and cut him down to surpass him. Same thing; my teammates are inside me, so if I ever see them, fuck 'em up and move on."
"When do I get to achieve enlightenment." Maru asked, slightly excited.
Sensei patted his head, satisfied with his acceptance of the somewhat absurd story. "Maybe someday. You'll know the right time."
Saeki did not like the way Maru's fingers were twitching when he looked at him.
He swallowed gently. Maybe he'd sleep with a kunai today.
Or forever.