A/N: Alright, this was my dad last night and I had to write it down. Too funny to miss, I tell you… Based in future.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Gwen had turned on 'House Hunters International' right before falling asleep on the couch. Kevin, bored after having his second son take away his laptop, began commenting on the man on screen, Eliza and Devlin sitting beside him.
The man on the screen had a British accent and Kevin mocked it almost perfectly. "I have man boobs," he said, finding every flaw on the screen. "And I have no eyebrows."
Devlin and Eliza were giggling like small children. Well, they were small children so that explained that.
"I must've done something wrong as a child. God didn't like me. He made my hands all ugly and he makes me waddle. I can't even walk right."
Devlin was practically doubled over in hilarity.
"I think I'll wear my man capris. And I'm so fat that I can't even fit in this bed. The camouflage makes my butt look bigger."
The man on the screen was constantly wearing black.
"I wear black to hide my man boobs and I walk like a duck 'cause I waddle waddle waddle. And all the white stripes I wear make me look like one of those morons from 'Tron'."
Eliza's chest was hurting from the laughing.
A commercial came up, but first came scenes. And the man was then wearing cream.
"The cream highlights my man boobs. And my wife looks like she got attacked by a vampire. And I have ugly shoes, did I mention that? And my feet are big enough for Bigfoot. I may be perfect for Bigfoot. That would be good."
Eliza had already fallen off the couch...
"And I have no hair. And no eyebrows. By my arms are really hairy. Me and Bigfoot, I tell you."
Devlin joined his sister on the floor, bursting into hysterics.
"And I get to wear more man capris. I'm lucky it's not cold out, my poor man boobs. And I have a frumpy wife who looks like she was dragged back from the dead!"
Gwen was awake enough to blink one eye open at the sound of her children practically screaming for their father to stop talking. "Kevin!"
He just picked up his beer off the side table. "You didn't miss anything, Gwen. Just this guy's man boobs." He took a swig from his glass. "God just wasn't kind to him. He did something wrong as a kid, I tell you..."
And the two kids just kept on laughing and crying for him to stop before they hurt themselves.
A/N: Just picture this guy… Yeah, he was a sight. So review. Thanks!
~Sky