Author's Note:
Thank you to those who've stuck with the story and continue to review - your enthusiasm and positive comments are much appreciated! Happy New Year to you all - hope 2015 treats you well.
Chapter 38: "Let's not spend any more nights apart."
"How long could a trial like this take?" I muttered to Evan the following morning as we walked into the Control Room.
"No idea but let's hope it's a lot quicker than it would be back on Earth," Evan returned. He started towards Mr Woolsey's office but I grabbed his arm, stopping him. "What?" he frowned, puzzled.
"I don't think I need to go in there," I said. "I'd rather stay out here. Is that okay?"
"You're in charge," Evan reminded me gently. "You can do what you want."
"I think we, not to mention everyone in this city, is fully aware that I'm not in charge," I retorted. "I'm someone they can talk to until the real leaders get back. If anything needs to be decided before that, everyone knows you're the one who'll make the call."
Evan sighed. "Maybe, for now," he agreed reluctantly. "Doesn't mean having you around isn't important."
"I know," I smiled, "and thank you for not insisting that just because I agreed to be a backup for Mr Woolsey it means I have to step into his shoes when there's someone else, namely you, who's far better qualified at this point.
"You're welcome, I think," Evan replied.
"Is there anything we can be doing?" I asked. "It feels irresponsible to sit back and wait for Mr Woolsey's plan to be successful."
"You're right," Evan agreed. "I thought about it last night and it occurred to me that of all our supposed allies the ones I'd most expect to be fully aware of the Coalition and the actions of its Council would be the Genii."
"It wouldn't surprise me if they were behind it." Since our second year when Ladin Radim had used John to force a coup I'd never trusted them, despite Ladin latter signing on as an ally. Even when he'd helped find John after Kolya captured him it hadn't wiped the slate clean for me.
"Ordinarily I'd go and speak to Ladin myself," Evan said, his expression thoughtful, "but this time I'll send one of the other teams instead, along with Alex and Colin since they're the most familiar with Ladin's set up."
"Sounds like a plan," I was probably too keen but I just wanted to speed everything along. I'd changed my mind about Mr Woolsey since he'd taken over as leader and shown on more than one occasion that he could be flexible with the rules and protocols, even though after the fact he put every moment into his reports. Though I'd begun to see him in a different light, I didn't know him very well and I didn't know what he was capable of. I was uncomfortable leaving John's fate solely in his hands.
Once Alex and Colin were ready with a four man team of marines along for company and protection, Evan sent them through the gate with instructions to get what they could out of Ladin and not to take 'we know nothing' as a valid response.
The morning passed slowly as we waited for the team to report in, or even better, for Mr Woolsey to make contact. Neither event happened and even though I felt like a spare wheel in the Control Room I insisted on hanging around. I spent my time at one of the consoles, searching through the database looking for anything about the legal system in the galaxy, and in particular anything about the punishments the people in these parts saw fit to impose on those they considered guilty of offences.
"What are you reading that for?"
I started, glancing up guiltily to see Evan looming over my shoulder, his eyes on what was displayed on my screen.
"I'm just curious," I dismissed, pressing a couple of buttons to remove the offending information.
"Mr Woolsey is not gonna let the Colonel's team be held responsible for any of our mistakes," Evan insisted.
"You think he's up to that?" I couldn't help but ask, keeping my voice low so no one else in the control room would overhear. Evan rolled his eyes at me and I sighed. "You're right, that wasn't a fair question."
"We just have to be patient," Evan reminded me. "It hasn't been that long and everything we know suggests the Council intends to do this properly. They're not gonna rush it."
I nodded. The sound of the gate beginning its dial in sequence put paid to further conversation. I turned to the screens hopefully, praying that it would be John's IDC but instead the computer confirmed that Alex and Colin were at the other end of the wormhole.
Their news wasn't what we'd hoped for. Ladin Radim was offworld and everyone else they'd spoken to couldn't tell them where and knew nothing about a new Coalition of Planets. Evan instructed the team to pack it in and come home. It looked like we were down to relying on Mr Woolsey after all.
Late in the day the gate dial in sequence activated again.
"It's Mr Woolsey's IDC," Amelia reported once the wormhole stabilised.
"Lower the shield," Evan instructed.
Jumping up I hurried down the steps, aware than Evan was close behind me. Mr Woolsey appeared first but my eyes were drawn to the shimmer of the event horizon behind him. Ronon and Teyla walked through together, with Rodney a step behind, the way he was complaining suggesting he'd been cut off midsentence when they'd stepped through the gate and continued as though he'd never stopped talking. The gate was still for a moment and then John walked through.
I took a deep, steadying breathe, my eyes examining his face closely, looking for some outward signs that his experience with the Coalition had left a mark on him. There was nothing visible and when his eyes locked on mine all I saw was relief and happiness.
"Hey," he said, stepping forward and wrapping his arms around me.
"Hey yourself," I returned in a low tone, pulling him close to me in return. He squeezed me tightly before reluctantly letting me go. "Everything go all right here?" he queried casually, so the classic John Sheppard to act like he'd had a little difficulty at the local shops getting the milk and bread, instead of standing trial for the crimes of the expedition.
"Evan and I took care of everything," I replied just as casually. I offered him a small smile as I admitted "well, Evan had everything under control. I just stuck around trying not to get in the way."
"I'm sure it was more than that," John pulled me into his side, his arm firmly around my shoulders as he turned us in the direction everyone else had gone. "Come with me to the infirmary. I can fill you in a bit while we get checked out."
Nodding I walked beside him, glancing at him every now and then.
"What?" he finally asked.
"Just checking to see that you look okay," I admitted. "Myrus told us what was happening John. I was worried …," I trailed off, unsure how to express my concerns. If Evan was right and John had been solely focussed on the best way to get his team out of there, maybe the bigger picture of what they were being accused of hadn't occurred to him. In that case, me asking him if it bothered him might set off a string of thoughts he wouldn't have had otherwise. Of course, if John had already had all those thoughts, not saying anything would be the wrong thing to do too.
"I'm okay," John insisted. "We all are – thanks to Mr Woolsey."
"So he really is a big shot lawyer," I commented.
"I didn't get to see him in action but he certainly worked out how to get us out of that mess," John replied.
In the infirmary Ronon, Teyla and Rodney were already being seen to. I listened curiously as they talked about what had happened and it was clear that none of them had previously been aware of exactly how Mr Woolsey managed to win the trial. Apparently he'd done it by working out which of the three council members was the weakest link and then negotiating with him personally to ensure he'd side with Atlantis.
"How exactly did you convince Kelore to vote not guilty?" I asked.
"I bribed him," Woolsey admitted without any sign of remorse. "On top of that, I had to commit Atlantis to a much larger day to day participation in the politics of the Pegasus galaxy. Can't wait to explain that in my report!"
John looked amused but also impressed. "Yeah. Well, what's the point of being out here if we're not gonna try to make a difference, right?" he said.
"Let's hope the I.O.A. agrees with you," Woolsey replied.
"So the team was captured and held to trial because the Coalition felt we'd interfered too much in events in this galaxy, but in order to win the trial you promised that we'd interfere even more?" I asked, incredulous.
"Essentially, yes," Mr Woolsey agreed. "On the plus side, with the Coalition onside at least our future actions could be deemed to be sanctioned."
"We're not going to be asking them for permission before we act though, right?" I asked.
"Of course not," Woolsey looked affronted at the possibility. "We will of course be guided by the wishes of the I.O.A. as has always been the case."
"Let's worry about that later," John suggested. "For now," he held out a hand to Richard, "congratulations on the victory."
Mr Woolsey shook John's hand, looking pleased at the recognition. "Thank you Colonel," he said.
"I for one am very glad to have you back," I added. "Even though Major Lorne took command, I didn't enjoy feeling like I might need to make any decisions on your behalf."
"You've had a week in the deputy role," Woolsey reminded me. "We'll have to see about broadening your exposure to city management, just in case something similar happens in the future."
"You're not planning on making off world travel a regular part of your work, are you?" I smiled when he shook his head firmly.
"No, I'll happily leave that responsibility to those better suited to it."
"I'm glad to hear it."
Grinning, John held out a hand to me. "I'm done here," he said. "Time to go home?"
"Yes please." Taking our leave of the others, John and I retired to our quarters, following our usual nightly routine until we were in bed with the lights off.
I lay there quietly for a while but I just couldn't sleep.
"What's wrong?" John said in a low voice.
"I can't sleep," I admitted.
"Any particular reason why?"
"I want to tell you that I'd understand if you had misgivings about some of what happened during the trial," I began.
"Misgivings?" John queried my choice of words. "You mean you're worried that I took some of what they were accusing us of seriously, right?"
"Despite our best intentions, our being here has had a huge impact on this galaxy," I pointed out quietly. The darkness surrounded us and acted like a blanket or maybe a shield that allowed us to speak without feeling that the words would have undue impact. "The Wraith, the Hoffan drug, the Replicators … Michael … so much has been lost that we can never give back."
"So you think we should be made to stand up for what we've done?" John asked.
"Not if that's all that gets said," I replied. "It always bugs me when only the bad of a person or a situation gets talked about. Nothing is as black and white as that. If we'd done nothing, if we'd never come here, the Hoffans still would have developed their drug, just a little slower. We already know the consequences of that but they wouldn't have had our level of medical knowledge to help deal with the effects." I took a breath, waiting for John to say something, and then continued. "The Wraith would have woken in a few more years and the Genii would have sent their crude bombs and poisoned theirs and probably other worlds as well. Maybe they'd have taken one or two hive ships with them but not enough to make a difference. Everyone else would have done what they've always done – hidden in their caves and waited to see how many of them would be left after the culling. They never would have achieved enough of a respite to organise a coalition and start working together." I turned to John and put my hand on his chest, over his heart. "This galaxy is a much better place because you came here John Sheppard. Now they know that a small group of people can have an impact. They know that they can fight and win … they can take back their galaxy and have the kind of future they never would have had otherwise. That kind of reform doesn't come without sacrifice. We're no strangers to that – our own history is full of stories about individuals – people just like you and me – who were willing to give their lives to make things better for everyone."
I felt John's chest rise and fall as he took in my words. Then he was gathering me close, holding me gently to him as he buried his face in my hair. "I love you," he whispered.
"That's good, because I love you too," I whispered back.
We were quite for a while longer before John spoke. "It was tough, hearing the things we've done told back to us from their perspective," he admitted. "Sounded a lot worse than I remember it being at the time."
"That's because we never set out with that kind of result in mind," I pointed out. "Do you wish you'd never come here?"
"Of course not," John insisted. "I'm just saying, it sounded pretty bad the way they put it."
"Before Mr Woolsey arrived, you were the one arguing our defence?" I questioned, feeling John nod. "Did you put up a defence?" I asked, curious, "more than just to play along?"
"I was just gonna say what they wanted to hear while we came up with an escape plan," John admitted. "But hearing what they were accusing us of, I couldn't not defend us."
I smiled, relieved. If John genuinely felt that he – and the rest of us – should be held responsible for all the people who'd died as a consequence of our impact on the galaxy he wouldn't have been able to make a defence. That he had reassured me that deep down he wasn't struggling with guilt, not as much as he used to anyway.
"You didn't discover an untapped desire to be in command?" he asked me, keen to change the subject away from him.
"God no," I shot back, giving a mock shudder. "I have never been more glad that someone else way better qualified was there to pick up the slack. Lucky for me Evan didn't insist that I try just because technically I was Mr Woolsey's deputy."
"Are you going to continue with that?"
I considered John's question seriously. "I think you can have someone who knows what's going on – you know, someone who's been in on meetings and things – without that person necessarily having to insist they be the one to make decisions if the opportunity arises. When you think about it, any time Mr Woolsey isn't here is likely to be as a result of some kind of crisis so it makes sense that military leadership would be needed then."
"It does," John agreed.
"Then, assuming Mr Woolsey agrees, I guess I'll continue," I decided.
"Good," John hugged me, "because I for one think you make a great deputy."
"You have to say that because you're my husband," I pointed out. "Otherwise, who knows what benefits I might withhold."
Laughing, John rolled, making sure he wasn't squashing me even as he pinned me down. "We both know you can't resist me," he teased, leaning down to kiss me.
"Prove it," I challenged.
He had to accommodate my thirty weeks pregnant body but John proved both his statement and that he was more than up to the task.
"Let's not spend any more nights apart," I whispered later.
"Okay," he agreed. My heart warmed, even though we both knew he couldn't make that kind of promise. It was enough that we would both try.