THE PAST

From a distance, June was able to stare. He was sitting sideways on a bike, a helmet clutched between his elbow and hip. His face shone as he wildly gestured while talking to the small crowd that had gathered around him.

Tomorrow summer break would start. She had wanted to catch just one more glimpse of him, even though she was sure she would never forget his image. He looked so tough sitting on that bike, so... sexy... She felt her throat become dry as she imagined what it would be like to be on that bike with him; her arms tight around him as they sped across a deserted road along the shore.

Her daydream was brutally interrupted when a heavy hand landed on her shoulder. The smell of cigarettes tickled her nostrils and she was pulled closer to the encroacher next to her.

"We ain't gettin' jealous now, are we Junie?" Emilio's mocking voice sounded next to her. "You wishing he'd be riding you, instead of that Harley?"

With flaming cheeks, she tried to turn away from him, but he held her tight. "Yo, 'm not done talkin' to you yet."

As she looked to the side, he blew a cloud of smoke into her face.

"Let me go," she growled, coughing.

"It was a gift from his brother you know... you hear what else he bought 'm?" Emilio continued impassively. "A fuckin' hot chick. Well, actually two of 'em. My boy was kind enough to leave one of them for us to enjoying at the party, while he took the other one for himself. Fuck, you shoulda seen her tits man... they were like this big." With his free hand, he pointed out the curves, smoke curling around his fingers. "My homie got to suck on 'em so hard; he coulda done much more with 'em than he ever could with those lil tits of yours huh. And man, those hips... and her ass... she was so fuckin' hot and the lucky bastard got to fuck her brains out, we could all hear her; the bitch loved it."

Tears jumped to her eyes. She tried to tear herself away again, but his grasp around her only tightened as he moved his lips to her ear.

"So it really was for the best that you ditched him, you woulda been a fuckin' borin' lay if you even let him between your thighs and at least now he has banged a chick he doesn't need to be ashamed of." She shivered as his hot breathing touched her auricle. "Like he woulda been if it had been you."

June pressed her lips together, trying to blink away the tears. Every word hit her like a wave.

Chuckling, Emilio let go of her and winked. "But hey, keep starin' at him if you like. After the holidays, he won't even remember your name anymore. I'll make sure of that." He slammed his shoulder against hers as he walked past, heading towards his friends with his head held high.

June looked to the ground, hoping to hide the tears gliding down her cheeks and she rushed towards the school, heading for the art room where she knew Jordy had wanted to finish up some things after classes had ended.

Swallowing, she stepped into the almost empty room. Other than Jordy there were only a few others around, but when she breathed in sniffling, Jordy turned around, as if she could feel the sadness that had entered the room.

There was a smudge of green paint on her forehead, which creased as her friend took in her appearance. "Hey... what happened?"

Shakily, she breathed out. "N-nothing," she muttered. "I – I just didn't know where to go to."

"Wait, just let me get my stuff." Jordy walked back to the desk, shoved her belongings in her backpack and returned, grabbing June's hand. She took her up the stairs and settled down on the top step. Thankfully last period was over, so the halls were empty.

"What happened? Is your mom okay? Did you get a call from the nurse?"

June bent her head. "No, it's nothing like that," she muttered. "It's just... Emilio being nasty again."

Next to her, Jordy sighed softly. "It's been a few weeks since he bothered you, right?"

She shrugged. "Usually he just hisses stupid things when he goes by," she muttered. "But Juan's usually around, so he's tries to do it... quietly and quickly."

"But he wasn't around this time?"

A tear itched down her cheek. "He got a motorcycle for his birthday."

"Riley told me yeah, sounded like quite the party. She and some others bought him some lessons too. Did he get his license?"

"I guess," she muttered. "Everyone was admiring his bike. And – and I got caught up watching, from a distance. And suddenly Emilio was standing next to me, asking – asking me stupid questions. He wanted to know if I was jealous that he would be riding that bike instead of... me." Her cheeks turned red again. "I tried to push him away, but he wouldn't let go and he started talking about... about this girl who Juan... did it with. And he kept going... he really seemed to enjoy telling me what was so great about her and what was wrong with me and..." Sniffing, she wiped her eyes.

"He's just an asshole. Nothing new there, right? For all we know he might have made it up – it's Emilio, remember?"

June stared at the steps below her. "I don't think he was lying."

Jordy sighed, putting a hand on her knee. "I know you probably don't want to hear this, but this is kinda your own fault, June. He was madly in love with you – he still is. He wanted you to be his girl, but you were the one who turned him down."

"Do you think I don't know that?" she muttered. "But that doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt to find out he's sleeping with others."

"Then do something about it, June! Go to him, ask him out! He's made enough attempts, this time it's up to you! You've ignored him for more than a month, you hurt him a lot. And for what? Has Beth been nicer to you now? I know she hasn't! You made the wrong choice, June, and you're not happy. Just go for it. We're done with school for two months; go date him. Beth won't be around to police your life, she's going to stay with her family down south."

"He probably doesn't even want me anymore," June muttered. "He's seeing someone else, remember."

"Then win him back!"

Startled, June looked to the side. Jordy had never raised her voice towards her.

"I'm serious, June. You are in love with him and nothing is going to convince me that he has suddenly developed feelings for someone else; it's a distraction at most! Just do something, for once! Show him he's worth it, instead of always waiting until he takes the initiative! You messed it up this time, June, it's up to you to make things right!"

In silence, June stared forward. She knew that her friend was right but... "I'm scared."

"Yeah? Well get over it! You were the one who told me how lonely he was, that he had no one but Mateo and Emilio and those boys are both assholes! You told me that he needed you, well, if that's true: be the girlfriend he needs, June. Just woman up for once, gather your courage and ask him out! For crying out loud; you have a hundred percent guarantee that he is going to say yes! I don't understand what you're so afraid of, I really don't."

June bit her lip. "He probably doesn't even like me anymore after how I treated him."

Jordy sighed. "Yeah he does, June. I've seen how he looks at you, how he craves for even a little bit of your attention. His feelings for you are just as strong as they were on prom night. And yours are too. So please, do something 'cause it's driving me crazy! Your happiness is just waiting to be picked up and you keep stepping over it. Pick. It. Up. June. Go do something fun together, just give him a chance."

Nervously, she fidgeted with the pendant around her neck. "But what should we do? What kind of date?"

"That's up to you, June. It should be your call, it should be something that fits for you two." Jordy grabbed her hand, giving her an intense look. "I know how shy you can be, how scared you are, but this is about your happiness. You are creating a relationship, this is something you have to do yourself. If you need help, I'll be there, but I know you are a creative girl, June, you'll come up with something. If you think of something, we can always talk about it if you want. But this idea should come from you."

It took June two weeks to decide what kind of date she wanted to ask Juan on. Right when she was starting to feel discouraged, her eyes crossed a poster that made her heart beat faster. This was it. She was sure that he would like it.

After that, she had been stuck thinking about a way to ask him out. She didn't have the nerve to call him, sending a text was trite and they didn't see each other now the school was closed for the summer.

In the end she had opted for a way that in hindsight was probably a thousand times scarier than giving him a call, but she was out of options so she continued her plan and stepped into the pizza parlour. Her eyes darted across the kitchen staff, but she didn't see him.

Her heart was pounding in her chest.

She could still back out.

Well, not really, she had already bought the tickets. But she could text him. However, that was much less fun than surprising him at the night itself and she didn't think he would say no if she was already at his door. And Jordy had been right – she really had some making up to do.

Squaring her shoulders, she walked towards the counter.

"What can I do for you?" The woman behind the counter gave her a bored look.

"Uh... actually I'm looking for Mateo. Is he around?" Her voice was trembling as she said his name. Where she had found the nerve to come to this place, she still didn't know.

"He's doing deliveries. Might take a while before he gets back." Impatiently she waved to a bench in the corner. "Just wait there, if it's important."

June sat down on the bench, folding her hands in her lap. The waiting turned out to be more unnerving than anything else she had planned. She tried to practice the things she wanted to say to him in her head, but in the end all she could do was chew her fingernails.

More than half an hour later she spotted him sauntering in the front door. With his red polo shirt and baseball cap he looked less intimidating than the last time she had seen him, but as soon as his eye caught her, a dark glow crept into his eyes making her shiver.

"Well girl, you got some balls for showin' up here after you fucked over my lil brother. And not in the way we like to see happen, huh? You lookin' to start shit with me now? You know I can ruin your life right? It would be so easy, I wouldn't even have to break a sweat."

Nervously June picked her hair. Mateo hadn't lowered his voice and she felt people were looking at them.

"Can we – can we talk? Outside maybe?"

"Dunno if ya noticed, but I'm workin'."

"Just for a minute," she insisted. "Please."

He rolled his eyes, but headed outside nevertheless. Leaning against the window, he lit a cigarette. "What do you want?"

She took a deep breath. She knew it was a bald move to involve Mateo in her plans, but she was also convinced that he could make things much worse than Emilio if he didn't agree with her plan. And although coming here had caused her sleepless nights, she was still hoping it would earn her a little bit of respect.

"I..." When she was about to stammer, she closed her eyes for a brief moment to control her breathing. "I want to make things right. With Juan. I was – I was stupid and I regret turning him down."

Mateo snorted. "Why the hell do you think he still wants you?"

June cringed, her stomach hurt. "I don't know if he still wants me," she murmured. "I... I just was hoping to... I want to surprise him, take him on a date, and – and show him that I'm sorry for how I acted before. And then – then he can decide for himself if he, you know, if he still wants me."

Mateo studied her face in silence, slowly letting the smoke slip between his lips. "If you hurt him again, I'm gonna hurt you worse than you ever imagined possible. Got that?"

She nodded silently, staring at her feet.

A few seconds passed by. The butt of Mateo's cigarette bounced on the ground, making her look up again.

"So what are you doin' here?"

As subtly as she could, June wiped off her clammy hands on her jeans. "Uhm, well, I hoped that you could make sure that he's home, the night I want... to take him out. So I uh, can surprise him." Heat spread across her cheeks.

Mateo raised his eyebrows. "So what's your plan? Taking him to some fancy restaurant?" He smirked. "I would recommend that you take him to one of those luxurious hotels, wear some hot little lingerie and give him the best night of his life." He held her glance for a while. "Then maybe waitin' for you instead of bangin' Lorraine might at least have been worth it."

"W-what?" she stammered.

Mateo gave her a wink. "Got him a stripper for his birthday. A hot and sweet one, perfect for his first time. But he didn't want her, was whining that he wanted you to be his first. She thought it was cute – I thought he was insane. No fuckin' way that you'll be better than her, but okay..." He shrugged. "His loss. If he's happier waitin' for a fuck with you, I'm fine with it. As long as you let him do ya."

Her cheeks started to glow even more. Had he really rejected that girl because of her? She was so overwhelmed that his last words weren't even able to wipe the smile from her face. She caught a glimpse of Mateo's boss, casting them impatient looks.

"No uh, I have no hotel or restaurant plans," she muttered, now wondering if her own idea was stupid. "There's this gig of one of our favorite bands. It's next week and I scored two tickets... So – so I wanted to take him there."

Mateo's eyebrows raised again. "That's it? You think that will do it? Girl, you should at least take off something if you wanna make up with him. I don't think baby brother's gonna want just a concert, you gotta give him at least a striptease or somethin'."

June couldn't help rolling her eyes, the fact that he was thinking that sex was the only way to show regret, was starting to annoy her. "That's something between Juan and me. Will you help me out or not? If not, I'll ask Emilio."

Of course she was bluffing – Emilio was the last person on earth she would ask for help. But the suggestion caused a frown on Mateo's forehead, where after he nodded. "Fine, I can make sure he's home. When?"

"Next Wednesday."

"Kay." Before he turned around, his eyes wandered across her body. "Put on something nicer than this for that date. I don't want people to make fun of my brother for goin' round with an Eskimo... That dress you wore to prom, it showed that you have some nice tits and a nice ass under all those layers, just give my brother something to show off will ya?"

June stared at him in shock, by reflex crossing her arms in front of her chest.

Mateo chuckled softly and turned around. "See you next week, June."