Thank you to everybody who read or reviewed the last chapter. You're all fabulous. Thank you to everybody who gave me baby names. They were lovely. Some will be used. You'll see. So, it turns out that this is our preliminary chapter. I'm awful at figuring out where my stories are going to end. I usually don't know until I am writing the last chapter. The final chapter is done and I'm just proofreading right now. Your reviews can make me proofread faster.

You may not think love is worth all the pain that you may go through, but love is always worth it. Chapter 20 of The Idiot's Guide to Family Bonding, revised third edition

Chapter 26: If I had to do it again, I would.

You would think in comparison to Arlene's trauma induced delivery that Nhi's delivery would almost be normal, but no. The babies Pike were impatient little brats who were ready to roll early and quickly.

Nhi didn't even realize she was in labor. Although, in her defense, it is kind of hard to know that her lower back pain recently was contractions due to old Starfleet injuries. That's why she and everyone else in the room were shocked when the OB/GYN informed them that they needed to go to the hospital because she was already almost 4 cm dilated and therefore in the active labor stage.

This was cemented by the fact her amniotic sac finally decided to rupture on the way to the medical facility. Jim was kind of sad that it did not gush like in all the movies because he would've loved for all the amniotic fluid to get on Christine's shoes. She was being a bigger bitch than usual, which is quite an accomplishment considering it's only recently that he stopped having a restraining order against her. (Because he really didn't need to hear her speculation about when he will be dumped by either his boyfriend or girlfriend right now. Now that they were aware that Nyota could bond with Spock, he was already panicking about that possibility all on his own.)

Jim barely had time to call his boyfriend and girlfriend to bring his go bag to the hospital. Arlene's labor was long, grueling, and exhausting. Nhi's labor was appearing to be grueling and exhausting, but it probably wasn't going to be long because she was already at 6.5 cm and they've only been at the hospital for an hour. His go bag hasn't even arrived yet. Anything from the 'keep mommy calm box of things' would be really helpful right now. Christine and he really suck at trying to make small talk with each other to distract Nhi.

Okay, it was so bad he was about 30 seconds from strangling Christine for reminding Jim so bluntly that Jim was responsible for Chris not being there. Jim reminds himself that he can't do that because Nhi needs a coach. It was his fault that Chris wasn't here to hold his wife's hand so Jim is going to do it for him even though he really wanted to punch out Christine. After 20 minutes of snide comments, Jim had enough.

"Please be quiet or at least speak about something halfway pleasant to talk about. The book says that we are supposed to be calming and keeping your aunt relaxed." Jim said as he started to massage Nhi 's back. "Your current subject," a.k.a. your uncle who was murdered by an augmented nut job, "Is not helpful. Both of us need to be here for your aunt so please behave like the Starfleet officer you're supposed to be." Grow the Fuck up.

"No, we don't both need to be here. You can leave and I can do this on my own. I'm a nurse as well as working on my MD." Christine shot back. They've been having a variation of this argument for the last six months. You would think she would be done with fighting him by now.

"You are a Starfleet nurse not a pediatric nurse. There is a difference. I've coached somebody through childbirth before. 90% of what they told us in class was absolute bullshit." Jim responded.

"That's so comforting to know." Nhi said sarcastically from the bed.

"Just because you feel guilty for getting Uncle Chris killed doesn't mean you should be here. Just go back to your little girlfriend and boyfriend before they decide to leave your ass because they finally realize you are an asshole and stop touching my aunt." Christine snapped back.

He doesn't argue the Chris point because he does blame himself already. It's best not to say anything else since his first attempt did nothing. (Jim is also not going to touch the boyfriend/girlfriend remarks because part of him is scared about that too). He remembers from Arlene's delivery that Nhi would need him to focus on her and to keep her as comfortable as possible. She needed them to support her. It was about the babies, not Christine, so he was just going to keep massaging Nhi.

Seriously, next time he goes through this, it's going to be Nyota on the bed and Spock as his co-coach. Spock was his co-coach last time, which was nice because the Vulcan didn't even need a watch to time contractions. God, Jim loves that Vulcan.

"Get some ice chips, Chrissy." Nhi hissed. Jim was 99% sure another contraction was starting. The equipment on the side agreed.

"Oh, come on you know it's true. If he didn't fuck up and violate the Prime Directive then you and Chris would've been out having dinner delivering the good news when Starfleet was attacked. Uncle Chris should be the one with you not him. I told you before, he's not family so you don't need him. I can do this by myself."

Unless you didn't take your medication and I'm starting to wonder if you didn't, because you've been acting like this all day. Jim thought to himself.

"Jim is like family. Look, I know you're not happy that your ex is here, but Jim is my friend and I want him as my coach as much as you."

"Or as a replacement husband," Christine mumbled under her breath, but Jim heard her very clearly.

"Are you aware that I have a boyfriend and girlfriend that I love dearly?" Jim asked flippantly. "You must be considering what you said a few moments ago." Could she just stick to the baby book?

"I'm sure you can deal with a fourth because obviously you are already screwing your brother's ex-girlfriend." Seriously, what is wrong with her?

"Okay you have problems. I kind of see Nhi as the good mother figure. So, put your claws away." Jim kind of wanted to shiver.

"How nice you got her husband killed."

"I am right here and this is not part of my birthing plan." Nhi yelled. "Stop with that shit. Yes, I wish Chris was here, but I don't have time to play the blame game. Chances are Chris would have been called in any way being an earthbound member of the Admiralty. Can we just calm down into the breathing exercises? I feel like I really need to do the breathing exercises"

"Breathing exercises are good. Also try to find your calm place." Which is obviously not in this room.

"You don't know that." Christine argued.

"And neither do you Chrissy. I blame two people for what happened to Chris. One is now in stasis and the other had his neck snapped by the one in stasis." It was a head crush, but Jim didn't want to put that in the report. He is still trying to repress what he saw. There are reasons why he sees a therapist twice a week and not all are related to his crazy family. "Neither of those individuals is in this room right now. I don't give a fuck about why you are so mad, but I am going to be pushing two tiny beings through my cervix very soon and I don't need the stress."

"But he…" Christine started to say, but Nhi placed her hand against Christine's lips.

"Is dating your ex-boyfriend. Really I cannot… fuck… deal with this… shit!" Jim is going to count that as another contraction. They are now at three minutes and three seconds apart.

"Ice chips now, Chrissy." Nhi yelled out.

"Fine." Christine said as she left.

"You know I could've left. You didn't have to send her on a wild goose chase for ice." Especially because the candy striper droid would have brought some if they asked.

"I'd rather you be here." Nhi grabbed his hand. "I love my niece, but I'm pretty sure she forgot to take her hypo or just forgot how to act civilly around people you kind of hate. Dammit. I should've told her to do that instead to get ice chips."

"You can do that when she gets back." Jim started to rub circles on her back again. "Let's just focus on your peaceful place. Play, Mother's Day mix number one." He ordered. A computer in the room subsequently began to play Dear Mama. The original version by Tupac, not one of the countless remakes.

"Well at least you went with hip-hop songs about moms. I was expecting instrumental Beastie Boys."

"I considered it."

"Just help me breathe and forget about Christine. I think she's just extra upset because this is reminding her way too much of her own childhood and she is acting out."

"How is the situation reminding her of her childhood?"

"Her biological dad died before she was born during a mission to find the Kelvin attackers." And that totally explains why she is so different than the person other Spock described.

"This completely explains why she hates me. Although it doesn't quite explain why she slept with me in the first place unless it was a kind of revenge thing."

"Ask me these questions when I don't feel like my entire body is being attacked by Klingons every three minutes." The three minutes was yelled out. Yep, right on time. Jim thought to himself as he went back to helping Nhi.

"Why did I want to have children?" She asked once the contraction was over, sweat forming on her brow.

"Because you were married to the perfect guy and you thought he would be here to hold as you push out these watermelons." And it's my fault he's not here. "Instead, you're stuck with me. I'm sure he would've chosen a much more appropriate music list."

"I'm sure he would be running around panicking."

"I didn't see him panic when tortured by Romulans. I think he would be okay with the baby, but we will never know," because of my screw-up.

"Don't listen to Christine, especially when she didn't have her hypo." Apparently being in active labor gives you clairvoyant abilities. "Don't feel guilty. We are career Starfleet. We take our oath at graduation. We know we may not be coming back home." Which is why the two watermelons already have those documents regarding what will happen to them in the event of their mom's possible death. "Our mission is to explore and protect. As you learned recently, protection is the more important of the two. Chris died in service of protecting the Federation and the values that we hold at our core. That's all you can ask for." Nhi said sadly.

Jim doesn't say anything about the senselessness of it all as he wiped the sweat from Nhi's brow. If Marcus hadn't done what he did, they wouldn't be bringing two fatherless girls into the world right now.

"I get that. I'm not only here because of some guilt complex. I'm also here as part of my duties to the Starfleet orphans club. I'm the founding member after all." He joked, but not really. Jim feels like he has a responsibility to make sure others do not have his childhood.

"I am not Winona." She is reading his mind.

"You didn't drink yourself into a deep depression, so there's that." Jim joked.

"Well I didn't want to risk fetal alcohol syndrome, but I'm not planning to start afterwards either." Nhi quipped back.

"That's good."

"I miss my husband. I'm not going to lie and say that I don't. But I love my children too. And I just can't lose myself in grief."

"Winona couldn't do that."

"And that's not your fault."

"Tell that to five-year-old me, who had to deal with Frank and the other bastard stepfather."

"And being around for Jamie and the watermelons is your attempt to prevent that?" She asked.

"I think being around makes a difference. Sam probably would not have turned out to be such a dick if there were positive role models around, but there was really no one. I really think that Winona would've avoided her Frank stupidity if she had more of a support system. I think she only ended up remarrying because she needed help and there was no one else there."

"I'm going to give you that one." Nhi said, breathing hard.

"I think I only avoided turning out that way because of Sunday dinners at your house when you two were planet side, while at the Academy."

"Well it kept you out of most trouble."

"I've heard the 'well-adjusted' version of me that didn't lose his dad at two minutes old also pulled the Kobayashi Maru stunt." He used finger quotes when he said well-adjusted because he knew his other self went through Tarsus and nobody who survived that can be considered well-adjusted.

"Nice to know there are some constants in the multi-verse." Nhi said half smiling.

"You know, you and Chris were the first functional relationship I had experienced. Without your influence, I don't think I would be with Spock and Nyota right now."

"I think you would've got there eventually."

"Preferably without the near dying.

"They both love you."

"Enough to deal with all my baggage and I have a lot of baggage."

"In good times and bad, in sickness and health until death does us part. Of course, I wasn't expecting that part so soon."

"And if you knew?"

"I would have still said the vows anyway. Without him, it would've been worse. Never having our children would have been worse. And God, this hurts." She screamed.

"You are the one who wanted a drug-free birthing plan." Jim mumbled under his breath as he helped her during the next contraction.

"Well obviously I was stupid." She huffed out. "Oh, and look at the doctors here to give me drugs."

"I need to look first. The sensors have just informed me that your contractions have hit two minutes and 59 seconds."

"Transition stage here we come."

"We'll see." The doctor replied as she looked under the strategically placed sheet.

At 8 cm, Nhi was in transition and things were getting busy. He was so busy helping Nhi, he didn't realize Christine never showed back up. Okay, his hand was re-broken and Nhi threatened at least twice to find an omnipotent being that could bring Chris back from the dead, just so she could kill "the bastard" herself for putting her in this situation in the first place. It was probably best Christine never came back. If he wasn't already in pain, maybe he would have asked why, but when baby one came out screaming into the world, he forgot everything else. Babies tend to do that to you.

Maybe because of Nyota's spectacularly awful childhood, she never pictured herself being a mom or married, but things were different now and she wanted her version of those things. Part of the reason for that was Jim looked adorable holding small babies. He had sent her a photo entitled Father Figure to Three Girls. She likes to think that it's karma for the Kitty Cat Twins threesome and similar things that Jim has done over the years to the female species.

It was 7:35 PM when Jim came out holding the littlest Pike twins. This was a lot earlier than she expected after Arlene's long grueling labor. She was expecting at least two or three AM, which is why she brought her own go bag with a change of clothes and toiletries.

" They are adorable." Nyota said grabbing the little girl in the purple onesie. She was starting to like the new baby smell. Although, she would never tell Ivy that because she's going to try to talk Nyota into having one before the five-year plan.

"Probably because this is the first time they've been quiet since leaving club uterus." Jim joked. "We came out here to visit aunt Nyota to give mommy a little quiet and see if we can find Cousin Christine." Nyota tried very hard to keep a straight face at mention of Christine's name. They never liked each other and that was before Leonard had to use a dermal regenerator to get rid of the bruising and cuts an hour ago.

They did arrive only an hour after Jim called. They would have got there sooner, but she was grabbed into a group hug with her stepmom and sister. Nyota may have also agreed to Christmas in Pretoria. At least they didn't find out about her accidental Vulcan marriage to her long-term boyfriend. Otherwise they would still be at the house and in the middle of an interrogation or possibly a congratulatory celebration. Her family was weird. Of course, if they were at the house, Spock wouldn't be banned from this medical facility.

"Where is Spock? Is he getting dinner? I could really go for a sandwich." Jim asked, and Nyota managed to get Jim a granola bar out of her go bag despite the baby in her arms. She was hoping to distract him with food.

"Ivy is bringing dinner at 8 PM, but the granola bar should hold you over for a little bit. So, who am I holding?" Nyota asked.

"At a respectable 2.5 kg and 28 cm and a healthy set of lungs for being a little early, you are holding Ariel Christopher Pike." Nyota raised an eyebrow at the middle name.

"She already has a cousin Christine and I don't think Nhi wants to accidentally name her daughter after her niece who abandoned her in the middle of labor." Especially one that makes nasty comments about her boyfriend and then gets in a fight with her other boyfriend. Also, someone that throws a sucker punch. Yes, best not to tell Jim what happened when Christine went out for ice.

"And who are you holding all dressed in pink?" Nyota asked, not just to distract. She did want to know the other baby's name.

"Kana James," Jim said proudly.

"You have another namesake?"

"Yes, but thankfully this time it's a middle name and nobody uses their middle name."

"Sure thing, Tiberius." Nyota joked.

"Hey, it could've been worse. I could have ended up with something like Whitelaw." Jim remarked.

"True." She kissed him on the mouth. They were alone so it would be okay.

"Although I'm sure Christine is going to be pissed whenever she gets back." Please Jim, just focus on the babies and don't ask questions. "Okay, you just twitched again."

"I did not twitch." She shot back.

"Every time I mention Christine or Spock for that matter. Your eye does this thing. It's the same thing you do when you're pissed at the underlings."

Dammit. He really does know her way too well.

"The reason why Christine never came back and Spock is not here is because they're both banned from the premises." Nyota finally tells him.

"What happened? He nerve-pinched her, didn't he?" Jim asked as he sat down in the chair next to her, still supporting the head of baby KJ."

"Yes, actually."

"This is going to be an interesting story. What did she do that managed to piss off our Vulcan enough to get rendered unconscious?"

"We got here only like an hour after you called and the nursing staff remembered us so they let us walk on back. That was probably a mistake. I'm sure you're aware that Vulcan hearing is excellent." Nyota told him.

"He heard Christine being a bitch to me?" Jim asked.

"Yep." Nyota confirmed.

"And he reacted in great Spock fashion by telling her to go get fucked Vulcan style?"

"His exact words were 'just because you are unhappy with your inability to keep a partner does not mean you must project your feelings of rejection on someone else, someone who rejected you solely due to your own failings."

"Yes, that is definitely a Vulcan fuck you. Please tell me there's video footage?"

"Due to the fact security arrived promptly when Christine decided to punch Spock, I would say yes." Nyota informed, Jim.

"She tried to punch a Vulcan? What is wrong with her?" Jim asked.

"Yes, but my face got in the way." She was trying to prevent an altercation. "That's when the nerve pinch was employed." Jim responded with a sigh.

"So, are we going to have to bail a certain Vulcan out of jail?"

"He was just escorted off the premises, along with your co-coach."

"Which sucks because I just had my hand broken again." He now knows it's a brace there. Bone regeneration takes a little longer each time.

"How does that keep happening?"

"I have no idea. Great, at the rate we're going, you're going to have to give birth at home because we're going to be banned from every maternity Center in the greater San Francisco area."

"That is a long way off." And she likes to think that they'll end up settling someplace that's not San Francisco. She's not sure where they would end up but somewhere else.

"Right, we may not make it that long."

"Oh, we will make it. I just mean, I'm not sure if we'll be here. You know, Spock is going to talk us into at least a year or two on the colony at some point."

"Probably. Although, you don't know if I'll be there too. You're able to bond with Spock if that's what you want now. You don't need me." Okay, Jim has ridiculously low self-esteem and Christine being Christine probably did not help.

"I'm always going to need you." She leaned over to kiss Jim again. "Also, your kind of already bonded to Spock so your kind of part of the package deal which is great because I love a good two-for-one sale."

"As evident by your shoe closet." Jim joked. "Girls, you're going to love shopping with your auntie Nyota. She's going to get you all the cutest stuff."

"No, Uncle Jim is going to buy them the cutest stuff. Oh, by the way Spock and I are already kind of bonded."

"What?"

"Did you know that it's possible to bond without a mind healer? If you keep melding repeatedly and subconsciously want to be with the other person for all eternity, it kind of just happens."

"That explains the extremely weird vibe I got from you on the car ride this morning." Jim remarked.

"Vulcans don't divorce. So, we are here together and we are going to be here for a while, even if Spock keeps doing stuff that requires the lawyers."

"Spock's father is actually a divorcee. Also, this is greatly surprising because I was expecting me to be that person that requires lawyers due to violent outbursts."

"I don't think Spock plans to join the priesthood anytime soon, so I think we're good." Nyota quipped.

"I think he likes sex too much."

"Extremely true. I keep having this hammered to me by you and Spock, but we are not our parents, you're not going to leave me like my dad left everybody and I don't think I'm going to end up at a nice mental health facility in the California desert."

"I concede your point. So, you're bonded to Spock and I'm bonded to Spock, but we could just end up as a type of sibling spouses that can't stand each other."

"Were never going to be like that. I love you." She kissed him.

"Even when I'm covered with babies." That's when she noticed the wet spot on his scrubs.

"Especially when you're covered with babies. If it would make you feel better, we can always go down to City Hall and get a marriage license."

"Is this your idea of proposing?" Jim asked slightly surprised.

"Possibly. I think it is as long as there's no dress or wedding cake picking involved."

"Okay, so you're not against marriage, just weddings.

"I'm just against giant shows that mean nothing. While labor was starting to go too quickly for you, I found out De'bor'ah went through with the wedding even though she already knew dad was fucking around on her behind her back."

"Why?" Jim asked.

"Because she wanted me and Ivy and she decided to put up with dad to get the kids that she wanted."

"Well, I think you're worth putting up with a lot. Just to put your mind at ease, the only other person I will be sleeping with is Spock and usually that is in front of you."

"Hand job shower yesterday." She said pointedly.

"I thought you were sleeping."

"You're very loud." She remarked just as baby Ariel Christopher started crying.

"And so are you, little girl." Jim remarked just as his namesake also started screaming.

"I think it's time for the babies to go back."

"Probably."

"We'll talk later when I'm not sleep deprived and starving. That granola bar did not take off the edge."

"Because it was a real granola bar, not a Starfleet ration bar. Come back in 20 minutes. I promise I'll have food. Real food, not granola bars." She said handing back Ariel.

The food did arrive at 8 PM as planned. Although, her sister wasn't the delivery person. (which was good because she did not want to talk about her dad again.)

"How did you get in here?" She asked Spock as he placed several take-out containers on the table.

"Apparently, the security staff did not recognize me in Terran street clothes. Your sister will be up momentarily. She is currently procuring balloons at the gift shop." It was at that moment she looked at Spock. He was wearing jeans and a T-shirt.

"Are you wearing one of Jim's band T-shirts?" She asked slightly shocked and a little turned on.

"Yes."

"Jim is going to love that."

"You are sexy as hell dressed in my clothes." Jim whispered as Spock bent down to kiss him. Jim was sitting in the rocking chair in the room with a baby in each arm. Nhi was sleeping and possibly drugged. They apparently make an awesome post labor resting hypo now.

"This almost makes up for the fact that I had to tell Nhi that her niece is now banned from the hospital because she managed to get into a fight with my allegedly pacifist boyfriend." Jim said as he traded one of the babies for a sandwich, it being hard to eat and hold two babies simultaneously.

Nyota tried very hard not to snicker. She hasn't believed the pacifist thing since she saw him beat down John Harris several months ago.

"She caused you an undue emotional distress by saying things that are false." Spock replied, grabbing the other baby from Jim. Of course, he grabbed baby KJ.

"Yep. You two are absolutely enough." Jim smirked.

"The words I found troubling were her attempts to blame you for Christopher Pike's death as well as the fact that we do not hold you in high regard."

"I know you both love me because you snuck in here dressed in my sexy clothes to bring me food and she proposed like 20 minutes ago." Spock turns around to give her an eyebrow.

"I was explaining the bonding thing and I just mentioned that if he felt things were uneven, we could always get married."

"When I'm less stoned from pain medicine, I'm good to look up to see if that would get us shared quarters."

"Technically, as written, if we are all married or the equivalent under Federation standards, we would qualify for shared housing." Of course, Spock would know. "Why are you on pain medication? Your hand was broken again?"

"Yes."

"Starfleet would be so pissed, mostly the ones who want us to stay quiet about actually being together."

"Do you care?" Nyota asked Jim.

"Nope." Jim said as he kissed both her and Spock."

To be concluded.