Phillip had been having a really tough time forgetting about Anne, every time he got upset or started missing her his father or Harvey would always seem to find out.
Last night Harvey had burst into his room when Phillip sat on his bed missing her, "are you still moping over that spook?" He laughed.
Phillip sat doubled over staring at the floor, hugging himself. "Fuck off" he muttered, Harvey howled with laughter, "how you could love such a freak in the first place is beyond me".
Phillip lifted his head to glare at him, "Anne is not a freak" he defended, "oh how adorable the disgraced outcast defends his little slut" Harvey cooed sarcastically grabbing his heart.
Phillip jumped to his feet and shoved Harvey hard, "don't you talk about her like that, she isn't a slut or a spook or a whore" he growled through gritted teeth.
Harvey just rolled his eyes, "fine, I'm only doing this because you're my brother. Why don't you and I go down to the bar and pick you up some hot piece of ass?" He suggested with a sly smirk.
Phillip looked at him in disgust, "first of all you're too young to drink at bars, second of all I'm good thanks. I don't want some random girl, I want Anne. Besides you don't even care about me, why would you try and help?" He asked.
Harvey shrugged, "what the bartender doesn't know can't hurt him, but you're right. I don't care, I'm just tired of hearing your wimpy crying at night. Get over her for gods sake Phillip, it's been three and a half weeks move on" he sniped.
Phillip sat back down on his bed, "just get out" he grumbled, Harvey crossed his arms, "not until you stop whimpering over that pathetic excuse for a girl" he insisted, "leave me alone!" Phillip yelled.
Phillip sat at his desk at the bank feeling sorry for himself, he felt too heartsick to concentrate on his work. It bored him anyway, it was just numbers and figures he hated it.
Phillip couldn't stop thinking about how easy it would be for him to just run outside now, hop on a carriage and arrive at the circus in under 15 minutes. But he had his father's men watching him everywhere.
They would stop him before he reached the doors.
But he missed Anne so much it hurt. He thought about her at night, he thought about her at work, he thought about her when he woke up. There were few moments in a day he didn't think about her.
He hated himself every day for taking up that deal with his father, maybe they could have found another way. It was highly improbable but he did regret agreeing to the deal.
If he was struggling this much after not even a month how would he cope for the rest of his life? He would never see Anne again, that thought alone killed him.
He never thought he'd miss her you're in trouble look but he would kill for her to give him that sassy eyebrow raise, hand on hip imma whoop your ass look.
He missed her so much. From her fiery spirit to her pretending to complain when he felt cuddly to the way she looked in the morning.
Her hair was always frizzy and untameable, she looked adorable when she was sleepy. She would look at him and smile when she thought he was asleep and kiss his forehead and interlock her body with his until they were a tangled mess. She somehow managed to smell so good all the time, like vanilla and distinctive Anne-ness.
His heart pulsed painfully in his chest, pining after her again. He'd never experienced anything so painful in his life.
He sighed unhappily and tried to focus on his work but he couldn't stop looking at the door.
She was so close and yet so far, this was torture.
As he watched the door it suddenly opened and in walked P.T, he didn't notice him yet but Phillip's heart stopped as he looked at his old friend.
He fidgeted in his seat, what should he do? He was being watched everywhere but he had to talk to P.T, let him know he's alright.
He watched as P.T walked into the bank his eyes on the floor, one of the bankers approached P.T forcing him to look up as he talked to them.
Suddenly he saw Phillip. His mouth dropped open, his eyes filled with tears, he stared at Phillip in disbelief.
He thought he was dead and here he was sat in a bank looking safe and alive.
P.T ran towards Phillip as fast as he could leaving the banker left behind watching after him in shock but he didn't care.
P.T vaulted over Phillip's desk and hugged him in a bone crushing embrace, "you're alive!" He cried.
Phillip hugged him back, "I'm so glad to see you P" he replied happily, he was aware everyone in the bank was watching them now, including his father's men. He was sure he'd get a hard beating later because of this but he didn't care.
P.T shook as he held Phillip, he was real. He was okay, he was alive. He had never felt so happy, well apart from maybe marrying Charity or the birth of Helen and Caroline. But this moment now was a close third.
He held the younger man for several minutes before he finally released him again, "we all thought you were dead son, we held you a memorial" he cried tears of happiness.
Phillip felt a pang of guilt, "oh god, I'm so sorry, how is Anne doing?" He asked, P.T looked away unsure of how to answer, "please the truth" Phillip requested seeing his hesitation.
P.T looked at his feet, "she's not good Phillip, she's feeling really alone and I think she's depressed. She's no longer so passionate about trapeze, she's been isolating herself and she cries herself to sleep at night" he said truthfully.
Phillip staggered back, sitting down again. He felt so bad, he wished he could do something. He hated to think about how he was the reason Anne was depressed.
P.T grabbed her shoulder, "what happened to your face? Has your father been hurting you?" He asked in concern.
Phillip forgot how bruised and battered up he looked. He had faint bruises littering his entire body but his face was the worst. He now had a very visible bump in his nose where it had been broken several times, he had small cuts and bruises on his cheeks. His eyes were sunken in and had dark rings under his eyes from his sleepless nights thinking about Anne.
Phillip looked around, his father's men were all watching him, listening. He licked his lips nervously, "yes" he whispered.
P.T saw his nervous behaviour, "are you being watched?" He asked lowly, Phillip nodded.
He could see P.T's body tense as he tried to hide his anger, "I see, are you doing okay though? How bad has it been?" He asked quietly, watching the men in the room. He wondered which ones worked for Phillip's father.
Phillip tried for a confident smile but it came out more of a scared looking grimace, "it's not too bad, just a few beatings a day. I can handle myself" he said laxly.
P.T frowned, "a day? Phillip we've got to get you out of there" he gasped, Phillip shook his head vigorously and looked to see if any of the men heard it.
They looked indifferent so he assumed they hadn't, "no you can't, Harvey already tried to kill Anne once. I won't let any of you put your life at risk for mine" he said frantically.
P.T sighed, "what can we do? We can't leave you at that place being beaten by your father like that" he worried.
Phillip forced P.T look at him, "listen P.T, I mean it. Do not do anything stupid, I will not have anyone dying for me, I am 100% serious. I'll be fine, don't try and save me" he ordered.
P.T looked over his shoulder, "I need to go tell Anne you survived, she'll be over the moon, this won't be the last time I see you, but I'll have to be careful" he whispered.
Before Phillip could say anything P.T turned and fled the bank as fast as he could. He ran all the way to the circus not stopping once for breath.
He ran into the ring hoping to find Anne there, when he didn't he finally paused to take a chance to breathe.
He doubled over and sucked in lungfuls of air, "P.T why are you so out of breath?" Lettie asked as she walked into the ring.
He looked up, "where's- Anne- need to- tell her- important" he panted, Lettie frowned, "she's in her room, what's so important?" She asked.
P.T waved her off and jogged to her room trying to relearn how to breathe normally again, he knocked on the door before rushing in excitedly.
Anne was curled up in bed holding one of Phillip's shirts, her eyes were puffy and red. She looked up weakly when she saw P.T, "hey P, now's not really a great time" she croaked, wiping her eyes.
P.T walked towards her so he stood next to the bed an eccentric grin on his face, "no you're going to want to hear this, I have the most amazing news" he said, he bounced on his heels as he looked down at her. He could barely contain his excitement.
Anne sat up slightly, "what is it?" She asked, P.T sat next to her on the bed, "Phillip's not dead" he exploded.
She stared at him in shock, was this some cruel trick? Surely Phillip was dead, she saw him get shot, she saw him bleeding, she saw them drag away as the life drained from his eyes. How could be alive?
"W-what?" She stammered after a few seconds to process what he had said, he nodded his eyes gleaming with joy "he's alive Anne" he said.
She sat up straight and kneeled in front of him, "how can you know for sure?" She asked.
P.T recalled how he had gone to the bank and seen Phillip working there, he left out the part about his father beating him.
Anne raced to the drawers and started pulling out clothes, "I need to see him right away, let's go" she said.
Her heart soared, he was alive. He was safe. She needed to see for herself straight away, she needed to see him again. She hadn't felt this happy in a while, it was as if a thousand pounds had been lifted from her shoulders.
P.T got to his feet too, "Anne no, you can't. He's being watched and specifically told me not to try and save him, he doesn't want us putting ourselves at risk".
Anne turned around quickly, "so you're telling me Phillip is still alive and I can't see him?" She asked irritably, P.T held up his hands, "I know it's a lot to process but-".
She waved a shirt she was holding at him, "yeah it is, my boyfriend is still alive I need to go see him" she insisted.
He backed away slightly, hands still raised, "I know it's exciting but we need to think rationally Anne, I'll see what I can do but you'll need to be patient. But for now just focus on the fact he's okay" he urged.
She sighed and put the shirt back in the drawer, "you're right, I'm so happy he's alive". For the first time in ages she smiled a genuine happy smile.