Chapter 37
"What do you mean is Liz here?" Max asked worried by the fact that Liz wasn't here or with Michael, while Maria ran up to Michael who put his arms around her and held her tightly before responding to Max's question "What I just said, is she here? Alex? Ava?" Michael asked his younger brother and sister who were looking worried by the fact that Liz hadn't returned with him, "No we thought she was with you" Ava finally spoke,
"What happened?" Alex asked going up to Michael and looking at him, "you look terrible what happened?" he said looking concerned at the state his brother was in
"Michael where is Liz?" Maria asked him looking into his eyes but all she could see was turmoil in them which scared her, "We had an argument, she disappeared and now I can't find her," Michael said running his fingers through his hair spiking it up even further then normal and trying to shield his face so the others wouldn't be able to see how upset he was. "What did you argue about?" Max said going up to Michael looking and sounding extremely angry, so much so that Michael gently pushed Maria over to where Isobel and Kyle were standing before answering, "it doesn't matter, all I know is that she's put up her mental block and I can't get through it … I can't hear her … I can't feel her" Michael replied sounding near to tears before looking at Alex and Ava who looked at each other and made a silent agreement; "We are just going to borrow Michael for a few minutes" Ava said as she and Alex pushed Michael out to the back area of the restaurant not waiting for a response from the others.
"Michael? What happened?" Ava asked kneeling in front of her older brother as he fell onto the sofa and put his head in his hands, "Michael? You need to tell us, if not the others then at least the two of us, we are your family" Alex said sitting down next to his brother waiting for him to get his thoughts together. "I should have seen it sooner …" Michael started sounding tired
"Seen what?" Alex asked in confusion as he interrupted his brother
"I should of realised how upset she was … how unhappy she was … but she wouldn't let me into her head … I couldn't see it until it was too late … and … and now I think it is too late" Michael said breaking down completely at the pain he was feeling, it was like someone had taken half of him away and now he was just empty. Ava seeing her brother was in pain without his connection to Liz threw her arms around him and held him as he sobbed like a child, Alex also quickly realised that his brother was scared and feeling all alone and was also frightening Ava put his arms around the two of them in an attempt to give Michael some comfort, something to hold onto while he was disconnected from Liz.
There were many things that Alex didn't necessarily understand in the world and the Michael/Liz connection was the biggest one of them all, but to see his brother terrified by the fact that he couldn't find Liz and that he couldn't feel her in his head was heart wrenching. So he tightened his arms around Ava and Michael trying to comfort them and himself at the same time, whilst wondering what had happened to make Liz run away from them, and if she was even coming back to them.
The others were standing outside the door to the back wondering what was going on, Isobel was talking to Maria in a bid to calm her down, Maria was worried about where Liz was and the fact that Michael had seemed so un-Michael like when he had come back as though something really important had happened tonight. Max had started to pace up and down the length of the restaurant floor, going crazy as he had no idea of what was going on, he didn't know where Liz was, true she had been acting very strangely since they had come back from the desert but he had put that down to stress rather then anything else; now he was torturing himself with "how could I not of noticed anything?" he desperately wanted to talk to Michael but Alex and Ava had taken him away for some unknown reason and until he came back, Max would continue to pace. Kyle was watching Max pace up and down which would normally have driven him mad, but he realised that his brother was going through some serious issues at the moment so decided not to say anything. But eventually someone had to break the silence, "What do you think is going on in there?" Kyle said asking the million-dollar question, the others looked at him almost surprised that someone had had the nerve to speak aloud, eventually Maria looked up and said, "I don't know, but I want to find out" she said as she walked up to the door, but then she stopped and said, "but what if he doesn't want me?" she said almost sounding fearful of what would happen if she went through the doors. "Let's give them another couple of minutes," Isobel suggested knowing that if Michael were upset he wouldn't want everyone to see. Kyle and Maria looked at her and even Max stopped pacing for long enough to say "good idea" before taking up the pacing again.
Liz had decided that it was time to move away from the compound this place felt too quiet as though there could quite possibly be something waiting for her in the shadows, as she got up off the sofa she saw the photo album out of the corner of her eye and knew that she had to take it out of the compound with her, so that she could add to her mother's pictures and experiences, "I have no where to go though" Liz said aloud as she realised how alone she was now without Michael, "I can't face Max and I almost definitely cannot face Michael not after everything"
"So what are you going to do then?" a voice said that made Liz jump, Liz turned around and saw Catherine standing in the corner of the room, "Mom?" Liz said as she walk towards her anxious to find out if she was real or whether Liz was imaging her as she had done so many times since they had come back from the desert, "so what are you going to do?" Catherine asked her forehead creased in concern looking at Liz, "I don't know" Liz answered as she felt the tears run down her cheeks Catherine reached forward and brushed them away for her. "You know you and Michael had this same problem back when you were Rath and Hanos, you never were able to separate from each other, I suppose it is harder for you now you haven't had this connection all of your lives you had it for months instead"
"So what do I do?" Liz asked fearful of the answer that she already knew
"You need to do what you did last time Liz, you need to forget about it, Michael will always be an important part of your life but you belong with Max you know you do, this connection is just confusing you that's all" Catherine replied moving towards the sofa and sitting down with a sigh,
"Why was it, that when Michael and I … kissed we saw memories of our past?" Liz asked as she moved closer to her mother wanting more and more answers yet being totally afraid of what she would say, "The two of you are so strong Liz, nobody is sure of what you two are capable of, you both loved each other so much that when one of you blocked the other one it hurt them so terribly almost as though they had been severed, but when you connected together then you were able to accomplish almost anything together, but now because of this new 'dynamic' the balance of the group could be and will be upset"
"I know what I need to do, … but I am afraid, afraid that I will lose my friends, Max and even Michael and I couldn't bear that I love them far to much to hurt them, you know I do"
"It doesn't matter what you do Liz, someone is always going to be hurt just like you and Michael are each hurting now but you have to work through this otherwise the group will become broken, Liz what you have to remember is that you and Michael were able to get past this when you were alive before, you can get through this again I promise you" Catherine told Liz as she hugged her tightly.
"Where are we?" Liz asked moments later suddenly realising that they had left the compound far behind. "I decided to distract you for long enough so I could bring you back to Roswell to give you a head start" Catherine said smiling sadly as they reappeared on top of Liz's balcony looking into her bedroom that looked so warm and inviting. "I have to do this don't I? Liz asked looking at her mother helplessly as a child would. "Yes you do Liz for the safety of everyone and everything, you have to bury your feeling's for Michael and go on with your life just like you once did, though together you and Michael are strong, you still need the love of your destined ones to complete you and the circle, it's the only way to stop our enemies winning, when your father was killed, I wanted to die the thought of going on without him it hurt so much; but I knew that I had to stay strong for you and Michael and then when I found Ava alive, I knew I had to keep going until the day that you came to find me; never in my wildest dreams would I have thought that all my children would be together again, but you are and from what I can gather I will be a Grandmother to Michael's child … there is too much at stake for you to risk being destroyed by the enemy" Catherine said sadly, "I'm not being heartless Liz you know I am not but you have to listen to me"
"I know" Liz said looking into her mother's eyes and realising she was right, "I can't face them now though, you know that mother, I need some time to think to work out what I truly feel for Max and for Michael, I need to be away from Roswell if I stay then I am going to hurt everyone and hurt myself in the process"
"I must go now" Catherine said as she moved towards Liz, "take care my daughter you will make the right decision I know you will, because you always do" she added as she held out her arms towards Liz, Liz touched her mother's hands before hugging her tightly until soon she realised she was hugging thin air.
The tears were streaming down her face as Liz mentally packed her clothes; she watched clothes flying into her bags as she decided that there was no way she could stay in Roswell not at the present time; she had already decided where she was going, back to her Aunt's house where she had stayed the last time that things had gotten too hard for her in Roswell because of the aliens * except I'm one of the aliens now * Liz thought to herself with a small smile. Knowing that she couldn't leave not without trying to explain to the people who loved her what she was doing, Liz quickly scribbled notes down for the others trying desperately to find the words that she wanted to tell them; the struggle of trying to keep up the mental block was getting too much for her especially when she this upset and so she just prayed that Michael would be too engrossed in something else rather then trying to find her, but she knew that was not likely to happen. * I'm sorry for doing this Michael, but I have no choice but to * Liz said to herself and to him if he was listening. As she sealed the envelope and wrote his name on the front, Liz then took one final look around her room, at all the pictures of her friends with them smiling, laughing and joking and she knew that if any of them ever wanted to be happy again that she had to leave, until she had her thoughts and her feelings straight. Liz put the seven letters on the bed as she picked up her two bags and headed for the window.