Fenris
I made my way back down to the main hall. An idea was forming as I looked at the glove. Bohdan looked up as I made my way into the room.
"I'll go on to the market since you're back." Bohdan stood up and dusted off his hands.
"Would you mind leaving Sandal? I have a project that I could use his help on." I turned to Sandal. "Do you want to help me make something for Lea?"
"Enchantment?" He asked looking at me excitedly.
I nodded. "Enchantment." I agreed.
"Yay!" He yelled and clapped his hands. Lea squealed and giggled as Bandit barked happily.
"I'll leave you gentlemen to it then. Orana's in the kitchen if you need her to watch little miss." Bohdan said and headed for the door.
I moved to Lea and took the soggy glove from her grasp. Her lip puckered up and tears welled up in her eyes as she looked at me. I sighed and handed it back to her. She snubbed a bit, but proceeded to chew it happily. I looked over as Orana moved into the room.
"Do you know where the other glove is?" I asked.
She glanced at me nervously. Even after three years the poor girl was still afraid of her shadow. Not that I blamed her. She had been a slave of Hadriana. "Yes. Mistress keeps them in that chest over there." She pointed towards the writing table. I moved to it and grabbed the matching glove from it.
"May I use your sewing kit?" I asked. She looked puzzled, but nodded and rushed off to get it for me. "And I need some stuffing." I called after her. She paused on the stairs and nodded. I turned and watched Lea as Sandal and Bandit played an odd game of peek-a-boo with her.
She really was a little cutie. Her grin wide and happy as her eyes sparkled. Her laugh always ready. But like her mother, she had a bit of a temper. It was hard to believe that they were mine.
Mine. It was strange for a man who had been a slave to be able to use that word, but it's what they were. They were mine, my daughter and my love. Not to mention a home and an odd family. It was a bit overwhelming, but in a good way.
I thought of the letter I had received recently from my sister. That was strange to even think it, but I had to get used to it. And I was going to have to tell Lila about it. Varania was coming to Kirkwall. She would be here in a few weeks. We had written a few more letters after our initial ones. My last one I had sent her the coin to come here. I wasn't sure what I wanted or expected, but it felt like it was the thing to do. She was unhappy in Tevinter. I had found happiness here in this strange city. Maybe my sister could as well.
I wondered what Lila would say when I told her about Varania. Would she think I had kept it from her? Or would she understand me as she normally did? And what did one say to a long lost sister that they had no memory of? 'Hey, you might know me, but I don't know you. Let's hang out and maybe you can fill in the missing pieces of my memory?' I shook my head. I would worry about that later. Right now I was going to take care of my daughter. Then I was hopefully going to get some time to finish what her mother and I had started last night.
A couple of hours later, my idea had paid off. I was tucking a drowsy Lea into bed when I felt Lila move into the room behind me. I glanced at her as she moved close.
"She out?" She asked.
"Like you're supposed to be." I said wrapping my arm around her and drawing her close to me as she placed a kiss on Lea's head.
"I feel better. What's that?" She asked picking up the idea I'd had. "Is this my glove?"
"Um…" I shifted nervously. I hadn't thought about she might not care to have her gloves cut up and made into a toy for Lea. "I, uh, thought with the fact she liked chewing it so much that this might be a good idea."
She looked at me as she held the glove that I had sown into a doll that resembled a plain, unadorned gingerbread man. "Is it enchanted? It feels cold."
"I had Sandal enchant it. I thought this would be a good thing for her while she's teething. It would help numb her gums and she seems to really like the leather. I should have checked with you first." I worried as Lila wasn't saying anything. She was just watching me. "Lila, forgive me if I overstepped."
She set the doll back down in the crib before wrapping her arms around me. "You really care about her, don't you?"
"I thought I had made that clear. I care about you both. You did say you were both mine. Did I misunderstand?" I pulled her back to look at her. She shook her head.
"No. I meant it. I just wasn't so sure what you really wanted from all of this."
"You. Both of you. If you feel the need for more clarity, I could show you." I smiled as I pulled her tightly to me.
"Hmm. I think a demonstration is definitely in order." She smiled at me teasingly.
"My pleasure." I lowered my head to kiss her.
"You know, she's going to be asleep for a while. And Bethany won't be here for another hour at least." She said as she nipped at my neck. "Whatever shall we do with this time?"
I lifted her up, wrapping her legs around my waist. "I can think of a few things."
"You know, I think I like the way you think." She said before kissing me again. I started out the door, but she pulled back. "The rune." She said as she ran her lips over my ear. I fumbled around on the table and finally managed to grab it.
I then hurried us down the hall to her room. She worked the clasp loose of my tunic and ran her hands along my chest as I shut the door behind us. I whirled and pinned her to the door, kissing her hard. I dropped the rune and worked on pulling her tunic off and dropping mine. I reclaimed her mouth and carried her to the bed.
We tumbled into it, our hands roaming each other as our lips and tongues danced. She was amazing. All smooth skin and muscle. I ran my hands over a faint scar on her ribs and looked at her in question.
"From Ostagar." She explained. I ran my hands up to the jagged scar on her shoulder. She shivered as I touched it.
"And this one?" I asked surprised by these few scars. She normally had a healer with her, be it Bethany or Anders.
She looked at me worriedly. "Um, maybe we shouldn't talk about this right now." She kissed me trying to distract me.
"Lila, what's this one from?" I demanded. What was she keeping from me? Had that bastard hurt her?
She looked away from me. "Hadriana. That lightning bolt she shot at you."
"The one you took instead. Why didn't Anders heal it?" I asked.
"He would have if I had given him the chance. I attempted to follow you. I was afraid that there were more slavers waiting for you. When you vanished I started hunting you. By the time I had him tended it, it was too late to keep it from scarring. Even with magic." She shrugged. I shifted away from her. She was scarred for me. Another reminder of the fact I didn't deserve her. She caught me before I could move farther. "Please don't do it." I looked at her then. "Don't run. Please. Not now. I'm fine. It's an old wound. Doesn't hurt anymore. Don't get all quiet and distant."
"Lila, I…" I sat up and hung my head. She shifted around into my lap placing her palms on my chest.
She lightly ran her hand down my chest, feeling the scars that the markings mainly hid. "How many of these are because of something I drug you into?" She forced me to look at her. "We both have scars and a past. That doesn't change what's between us."
"But you are so…and I'm…"
"Wonderful. You're wonderful and beautiful and strong and…" She trailed off and watched me worriedly. "The man I love."
And there it was. Love. I had seen it in her eyes and now she was saying it. It wasn't that I didn't feel it for her. I did. I loved her. She and Lea were my entire world. I couldn't imagine ever being without them. But I couldn't say it. It was too much. I would be too exposed.
She glanced away from me and started to shift out of my lap. I tightened my arms around her and tangled a hand in her hair to force her head to mine. I kissed her desperately hoping that my feelings could be shown in it. That she would see what I couldn't say.
She kissed me back hesitantly. I could feel her pulling away from me, not physically, but emotionally. She was going to try and distance herself from me. I knew it because it was what I did. I had to explain somehow.
"You are my everything." I whispered to her as I slid my lips along her jaw to nip at her earlobe. "You and Lea are the best things to ever happen to me. If I lost you, I wouldn't be able to go on." It must have been enough because suddenly she shoved me back to the bed capturing my mouth and kissing me hard.
"Prove it." She whispered, her eyes challenging me. I smiled at her and pinned her to the bed.
"With pleasure." I said and reached for the laces on her pants.
She ran her hands along my back as I unlaced her pants. I kissed along her neck as I tugged on them. She lifted her hips and let me pull them from her. I kissed along her corset as my hands started work on unlacing it. She ran her hands through my hair, tugging until I returned to kiss her. I abandoned the corset and trailed a hand lower to brush against her smalls. I slipped my hand into it and she gasped against my lips.
I stroked her and she made gasping noises. She trailed her hand down to slip into my pants. And it was my turn to gasp. Her hand stroked me lightly. I slipped my finger into her and moaned at the feeling. I needed her.
"Maker, Lila, I…" I panted trying to form words. She pulled my hand away from her and tugged on my pants.
"Fenris, please…" She begged. I was more than willing to comply. I made short work of the rest of our clothes and settled over her. We had the rest of our lives to explore each other.
"Lila, I…" I had just started to press against her when there was a banging on the door. "Venhedis!" I yelled. Lila started and looked at the door. I stood up and hastily pulled on my pants before storming towards the door. I glanced back at Lila making sure she was covered. She had wrapped the blanket around her and watched the door worriedly. "Someone better be dying!" I snapped as I jerked the door open.
"No one is yet. But they will be." Isabela laughed as she held up a rune stone. Anders stood behind her looking embarrassed.
"What is she talking about?" Lila asked. The rune in Isabela's hand lit up and vibrated. I closed my eyes in misery. I had grabbed the yellow rune instead of the green one.
"We were just going to let you know that you had the wrong rune, but then we could hear that you were busy so I waited for the perfect moment to let you know. Paybacks a bitch. And so am I." Isabela laughed. I snatched the green rune from her. "Not so much fun when someone interrupts you, is it?" I slammed the door in her smirking face. I leaned against it and looked over at Lila.
Lila's eyes widened and she covered her mouth. "Oh, sweet Maker!"
"Don't worry, Hawke. We'll keep an eye on Lea for you. You two just finish what you were doing. Sounded like you were off to a good start. If you want any pointers just let me know." Isabela called through the door.
"I'm going to kill you!" I shouted.
"Now is that anyway to talk to a friend? I swear, the rudeness from them. Come on, Anders. Let's go and watch the baby." Isabela said.
"Sorry. I tried to talk her out of it." Anders shouted.
"And just for that you aren't getting lucky tonight." Isabela replied.
"I'll do that electrical thing." Anders said in a sing-song voice.
"Well, maybe I shouldn't punish me. You were the bad one." Isabela replied. I sighed as their voices drifted away.
"How much do you think they heard?" Lila asked.
"More than enough to make it so they have to die."
She laughed embarrassedly. "Um, well, now what?"
"We get dressed and then I rid the world of a pirate and mage."
Lila stood up, taking the blanket with her and moved to me. "I'm sorry." She said leaning against me. I wrapped my arms around her.
"It's not your fault. I should have checked the runes."
"I shouldn't have distracted you." She said and kissed me. "You aren't really angry, are you?"
"With her, yes. With the fact they know that we're together, no." I assured her. "I meant what I said."
"Do you think there will ever be a time we can just enjoy each other without any interruptions?"
"With the way things are going, I wouldn't count on it." I sighed and ran my hand through my hair.
"Well, let's make it happen. How about tonight we have an early dinner with the others, kick them out, leave Lea in Orana's hands, make sure we have the right rune, and then make some time to enjoy each other?" She suggested as she moved to her clothes.
"The others will talk." I pointed out.
"I don't care what they think. Do you?"
I watched her as she dropped the blanket and slowly got dressed. I ached in a way I never had before. "No." I said and moved to her. I kissed her slowly enjoying the way she melted into me. "Tonight then."
"I look forward to it." She said kissing me before resuming dressing.
I sighed as I grabbed my shirt. "As do I."
-0-
"So since it's still early and all, maybe you wouldn't mind helping me with a small problem." Varric said. We had managed to run off all of them except him, Aveline, and Donnic.
I muttered things about his parentage under my breath as Lila started to turn to him. Instead of letting her up, I pulled her into my lap and wrapped my arms around her waist. I was hoping to remind her of our plan. I should have known it wouldn't be that easy.
"What sort of small problem?" She asked lazily running a hand through my hair, her hand rubbing my neck as it got to it. I relaxed as she worked out the tension in it. Maybe a slight delay wasn't such a bad idea.
"Remember my brother's house? Well, I sort of sold it sight unseen to some fancy Orlesians."
"I bet they were none too happy with all the corpses." She said with a bemused smile. I decided maybe I should up my plan and slipped my hand under her tunic and stroked her back lightly. She shifted slightly and gave me a sharp look.
"Yeah, well they are trying to move in and well, they say the place is haunted."
"That much death and madness would probably leave a mark on the place." She reached back and pulled my hand out of her shirt. I sighed in irritation.
"Well, I was hoping you would go with me. Help me sort out the problem."
"You want me to go and hunt ghost?" She asked.
"Well, weird is sort of your forte, right? And you were just saying how much you had missed all the fun we used to get up to. You said you wanted to start working again. So just this little mission. Just a hop skip and a jump from home. Aveline and Donnic could stay with Lea while we go and handle the problem. Get your feet wet without a lot of fuss." Varric nodded to her.
Lila glanced down at me. "Well, I did say that. And it is close, but I…"
"We would be happy to watch Lea. We've been wanting to offer it for a while now." Aveline said.
"We thought the two of you might need some time to do something just the two of you. Hunting ghost isn't exactly what we had in mind, but we would be happy to keep her now and again some other time." Donnic nodded to me. I wondered if maybe we shouldn't take them up on the offer. I could take her to my old place. We could have no interruptions there.
"Please, Hawke. For me?" Varric pleaded. I sighed as Lila's eyes turned to pleading with me.
"Fine. But this had better be a quick job, Varric." I snapped. I stood up, pushing Lila out of my lap. She huffed in irritation. I grabbed her wrist and pulled her along with me. "Let us get our gear. We'll be down in a moment."
"Fenris, I couldn't say no." Lila said as I shut the door to our room and stomped to my armoire. I didn't say a word as I began pulling on my armor. I heard her sigh and turn to hers. "He said it would be quick." She tried again. I worked on tightening my breastplate and then gauntlets. "I'm sorry. I'll go and tell him we'll do it tomorrow night." She started for the door, but I caught her. I sighed and pulled her to me.
"It's alright. I'm not angry." She gave me a look. "Alright, I'm not exactly not angry, but I understand why you said yes. He's family. He needed you. I get it."
"But you are family too. And you wanted my time. I'm sorry."
"It's not a want, Lila. It's a need." I said and kissed her. "I don't blame you though. I blame the dwarf for knowing what buttons to push."
"Really?" She asked.
"Really. Get your gear on. The faster we go and take care of a ghost problem, the faster we can take care of another problem."
She smiled at me and kissed me quickly. "I promise I'll make it up to you." She turned to look at her armor. I was puzzled by her hesitation. "I haven't had this on in a year. I haven't really fought in a year. What if…" She trailed off as I turned her to face me.
"Lila, you are a brilliant fighter. You are almost back to your old self."
"Almost?" She asked sounding indignant.
"You aren't quite as fast as you were, but that is improving. I've been wondering if you were just holding back because you know it's not real. Maybe this is just what you need."
"Fenris, I don't know if I'm ready. I don't mean just because of the fighting. I mean leaving Lea. What if something happens to us? What if something happens here and we are off fighting stupid ghost?" She was starting to panic. I pulled her to me and kissed her.
"I won't allow anything to happen to you. And Lea will be perfectly safe with Aveline, Donnic, and Bandit. She's already been fed, changed, and bathed. All they will have to do is put her to bed. She will be just fine."
"But…" She started.
"No buts. Sebastian is far away. The house is being guarded. We are leaving Lea with Orana, Bohdan, Sandal, and Bandit as well as the Guard Captain and her first. Lea is going to be just fine. As are we."
She took a shaky breath and nodded. "I'm being a new mommy again, aren't I?"
I kissed her as I began to pull off her clothes to help her with her armor. The Champion gear was a lot of buckles. "Yes. But it's alright. No one expects you to be perfect all the time."
The mission went smoothly. Well, except the ghost were there because of a strange ghostly golem that was some leftover piece of the relic we had found in the Deep Roads. Lila had to talk Varric out of keeping it. He had gone a little mad as he had held it. Finally he had handed it over and we were all on our ways home.
Lila had given the piece to Sandal thinking he could dispose of it safely. He had done more than that. He had turned it into some sort of powerful rune. Lila had locked the rune away saying that now that it was safe, she was going to give it to Varric since he had wanted the shard.
We had retired to our room, but not for the evening we had planned. We were both tired and had injuries to tend to. Once they were tended, our armor and weapons needed cleaned. We then fell into bed and curled around each other. She kissed me and promised to make it up to me in the morning. I had a strange feeling this was going to become a habit. I wondered if a man could die from frustration.