Keep Me In Your Heart- Warren Zevon
Shadows are falling and I'm running out of breath
Keep me in your heart for awhile
If I leave you it doesn't mean I love you any less
Keep me in your heart for awhile
When you get up in the morning and you see that crazy sun
Keep me in your heart for awhile
There's a train leaving nightly called when all is said and done
Keep me in your heart for awhile
Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-li-li-lo
Keep me in your heart for awhile
Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-li-li-lo
Keep me in your heart for awhile
Sometimes when you're doing simple things
around the house
Maybe you'll think of me and smile
You know I'm tied to you like the buttons on
your blouse
Keep me in your heart for awhile
Hold me in your thoughts, take me to your dreams
Touch me as I fall into view
When the winter comes keep the fires lit
And I will be right next to you
Engine driver's headed north to Pleasant Stream
Keep me in your heart for awhile
These wheels keep turning but they're running out
of steam
Keep me in your heart for awhile
Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-li-li-lo
Keep me in your heart for awhile
Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-li-li-lo
Keep me in your heart for awhile
Keep me in your heart for awhile
Trinity sat in the hospital room staring at her mother. Her mom looked weak, vulnerable, and for the first time that Trinity could remember, broken. She had never seen such heinous injuries on a person ever in her life and that was saying a lot considering the shape that Daryl was in after his father had gotten done with him a few months earlier. As horrible as Quinn had been to Trinity throughout her life, this situation was tearing Trinity up on the inside.
Her feelings were all over the place. Jonah explained to Trinity on their way to the hospital about Quinn's visit to him at church the prior day. They both came to the conclusion that Quinn must have been in fear of Ed for her to make what almost could be considered a "goodbye" speech to Jonah. After everything Jonah had told her, Trinity really did feel bad for her mom. Quinn had lived a miserable life, and the root of it all led to Ezra. And now it appeared that Quinn wouldn't ever really know true happiness.
Trinity and Jonah had been at the hospital with their mother for close to two hours when Quinn had finally woke up. She could barely speak, but when she saw both of her children there with her, she managed a weak smile. Quinn whispered "get someone from the police department here, I want to make a statement on both of your behalf."
"Mama, you don't have to, just try to rest." Trinity said sweetly to her mom. It was now too late to spend what little time that her mother had left being angry.
"No Trinity I owe this to both you and Jonah" she said through her swollen lips.
Trinity nodded at Jonah and he left to make a call. Trinity took her mother's hand and noticed that Quinn had tears running out of her eyes and down her cheeks.
"Honey I am so sorry for everything I did to you and what I let happen to you. It was my entire fault for letting you go to stay with him. I knew what Ezra would do but he had convinced me my entire life that what he did was natural. I will never be able to make it up to you, but I can at least make it right in the end." Quinn said gasping as she spoke.
Trinity felt herself crying and tried hard to stay composed. She felt nothing but regrets about he childhood and her relationship with her mother, and now, she knew there would never be an opportunity to repair the relationship. Quinn would never see her grandchildren, or even see her own children get married. The woman had spent all of her adult life striving for power and control, and now she would die as a result of a drunken rage brought on by an abusive drug dealer. No one outside of her small family would ever remember her and the irony of the situation wasn't lost on Trinity.
Detective Jones himself showed up to take Quinn's statement. She managed to tell the entire story, stopping a few times either from being overcome with grief, or just trying to gain enough strength to physically continue. She didn't leave a single detail out and didn't seem to mind how much she had incriminated herself as well. She even revealed that Ezra had photo's hidden somewhere in his home that would provide more than enough evidence.
Trinity and Jonah were both shocked at that revelation, fearing that they themselves might be the subjects of some of the photos. The last thing that Quinn managed to do was sign the statement. She then looked at the detective "The Lord is going to judge me for my actions, and I am prepared for my punishment, but I want my last act to be me giving my children freedom from the monster that is their grandfather. I just want them to be able to get on with their lives."
Quinn was fading fast. Both of her children were now at her side. There wasn't any anger or judgement, just them spending the last moments of their mother's life giving her a little bit of joy. Most people wouldn't take the time to offer their parent comfort like this after all that they had endured, but Albert had raised both of his children to be forgiving, and more that anything right now they were doing this for their father.
Quinn weakly spoke "I wish both of you nothing but happiness. Use me as an example of how not to live your life. Jonah I want you and Michonne to be happy, and Trinity I know that Daryl loves you very much. Both of you embrace true love, it doesn't happen often and it is a gift. You two children gave me the only happiness in life I ever knew, and I am so sorry that I destroyed your happiness. I won't be able to make it up to you, but I will always love you both. Unfortunately it took me too long to realize what you mean to me. I love you both."
Those were the last words that Quinn Andrews Murdoch spoke. She slipped off into unconsciousness and a short time later she drew her last breath, both of her children holding her hand. Trinity felt overwhelmed with emotion as her mother passed on. It was all a senseless mess of what had happened with her. Was this a final reconciliation? Trinity and Jonah both were left with unanswered questions and realized they never really knew their own mother. She had redeemed herself to a point in her final act, but there would never be closure for either of her children. It left them both feeling empty on the inside.
Daryl had wanted to go to the hospital with Trinity and Jonah so he could offer them support, but with his obligations to school and being so close to finishing, he couldn't afford to miss anymore classes. He had only been allowed back this year because he people like Mr. Horvath and Ms. Prentiss had been willing to fight for him and he didn't want to do anything to break their confidence in his abilities.
Daryl had been fighting off visions all day long. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw the lifeless body of Mitch before him, and could still feel himself pulling the trigger and then hearing the sound of the arrow hitting Mitch in the heart. He couldn't shake the haunted feeling that kept filling his mind. At lunch Daryl was sitting with Sasha and T-dog. T-dog asked Daryl outright "Man you seem like you're a million miles away, you missing Trinity?"
Daryl nodded. He hadn't given any of the details from the night before to T-dog other than the cops had caught the guys. Daryl wasn't sure that he was ready to talk about what happened. It truly was an act of self-defense, but it didn't make what he had done any easier. Daryl Dixon had killed another man and that act took away what little bit of innocence he still had remaining.
Would this nightmare of a year get over? Both him and Trinity had suffered horribly since they began dating. Were they toxic for each other? Maybe they would both be better off without each other. Daryl shook himself from those thoughts. Trinity made him happier than any other person he had met in his life. Right now Daryl's mind was racing and he blamed it on worrying about Trinity, his lack of sleep, and the trauma of the previous nights events.
"Daryl, come back to us man." T-dog said
"Sorry, got a lot going on right now. I just can't wait for this fucking day to end so I can be with my girl and get some damn sleep. I ain't good company right now. Guess I'm lost without my girl." He said honestly.
"Something happen last night you ain't telling me Dixon?" T-dog inquired. Sasha was looking at Daryl with a concerned face.
"Yeah, but I ain't up to talking about it right now. It is some fucked up shit though, and on top of that, this thing with Trinity's mom is just wearing on me right now. I don't mean to be such a dick."
Sasha then took Daryl's hand and spoke "Daryl, don't you worry about us one bit. When you feel like talking we are here for you, but don't push yourself. You and Trinity have been through a lot, and we just want you to be OK. We respect your privacy so please don't feel obligated to talk about anything you aren't comfortable with."
Daryl nodded again not really sure what to say. He just knew at that moment that T-dog and Sasha were the best friends anyone could ask for. These were the things in life he needed to focus on, not all the darkness in the past. It just seemed that anytime he could glimpse happiness, something horrific would happen. But Gene was locked up, Mitch was dead, Merle was straight, and Ed was now in custody. That eliminated the majority of evil they had been dealing with. He needed to get himself straight so he could be there for Trinity. He truly didn't know how she was going to handle losing her mom. All he knew was that he would support her anyway she needed him too.
"Thanks guys" was all he could say. But both of them knew he truly meant it.
After school Daryl dragged himself out to his truck and headed back to Jonah's apartment. He wasn't really thrilled about returning to the house where he had killed a man less than twenty- four hours earlier. Carol had assured him that they would be sure to get the house back together before he returned. She knew that if he was exposed to any of the remaining carnage from the events of last night it could upset him greatly. So Carol lovingly reassured him that he wouldn't have to see any remnants of what had happened. Though she could clean up the physical evidence of what had happened, there wasn't anyway she could remove the images that were dwelling in Daryl's mind.
When Daryl got to Jonah's apartment he found Trinity sitting on the couch sobbing. Jonah had left with Michonne to make the funeral arrangements and Merle and Carol were at the house trying to get everything in order. The moment he saw her there looking so distraught he rushed over to her side and wrapped his arms around her to offer comfort.
Trinity wasn't just mourning the death of her mother, but also mourning the loss of a mother-daughter relationship that would never happen. She realized how many similarities her and Daryl now had. Both of them had lost the one parent who loved and protected them and both of them also had a parent whose demented value system had damaged their children. They had both suffered abuses from family members that you would expect to be able to trust, and they had both survived. The two of them even had a brother in common. None of these similarities were lost on Trinity. Somehow she just knew that her and Daryl were meant to be together for eternity.
"Baby are you OK?" Daryl asked.
"I am now. How about you?" She asked.
"I will be. I can't get the sight of that dead man out of my head and I really don't want to go back to that house, at least not yet." He told her.
"Then we will stay here again. Jonah won't mind and Merle will understand." She told him as she wrapped her arms around him a little bit tighter.
"You know today I thought about all the shit we have gone through since we have been together, and briefly I wondered if we were bad for each other." Daryl confessed.
Trinity's face suddenly went pale at Daryl's statement "Are you saying you don't want to be with me anymore Daryl?" Tears were threatening again.
"Trinity I can't imagine my life without you. Yes, we have been through hell, but you make me happier than anyone ever has. You are my light and my reason for living." He told her.
"Daryl I can't be your only reason for choosing to live, but you are my light as well." She admitted.
Daryl reached into his pocket and dropped down on his knee "I was going to wait and give this to you at Christmas, but after everything that has happened I couldn't wait any longer." Daryl said as he produced a small mahogany box that he had hand carved with precision. There were tiny flowers and the letters T & D on the lid. She took the box from Daryl and opened it slowly.
The inside of the box was lined with black velvet and there were two rings inside. Trinity looked at Daryl with a questioning look "Does this mean what I think it means?"
Daryl took her small hand into his own and confirmed her question. "Trinity Page Murdoch I want you to spend the rest of your life with me as my wife. I know we are young, but I know with every fiber of my being that this is what is meant to be. You are mine and I will be yours if you will have me. I love you eternally." He confessed to her.
The rings were stunning. The engagement ring was a beautiful white solitaire diamond with a blue sapphire on either side that emphasized the diamond even more. The wedding band was a platinum band that Daryl had asked the jeweler to engrave the symbol for infinity inside with a T on one side and D on the other. A lot of thought had been put into the designing of the rings and Trinity was touched by the detail. She was even more amazed at the beauty of the box that Daryl had created. On one of the saddest days of her life she was now overwhelmed with a wave of incredible joy and happiness.
"Yes Daryl, my answer is yes." She told him as she took his face into her hands and placed a kiss on his forehead.
Daryl took the ring and slipped it on Trinity's finger and then wrapped himself around her. "Trinity I promise to always be there for you and to never let anything happen to you again. I will be the man you want me to be and I promise to take care of you for as long as I have breath in my body."
"Daryl Dixon I promise to love you forever and to be there for you whenever you feel yourself getting weak. We are stronger together than we are apart, and I promise my love to you for the rest of my life. Whatever the good Lord throws at us, we will survive because we have a bond that no one or no thing can break. If I died tomorrow I would die a happy woman because I have you in my life." She told him.
Daryl felt a tear slip down his cheek. His entire life he had sought to find someone who loved him unconditionally, and now he had finally found what he was looking for. He knew there would be obstacles in the future and that people would judge the relationship because of their age, but them being young just meant that they would be together just that much longer. If the world suddenly went to hell it would be OK with Daryl because he had Trinity for the rest of his life.
So our boy went ahead and got himself engaged. The rings were his mother's that Gene had given to her years ago. There is going to be a few month time jump in the next chapter as we will be getting close to the birth of Carol and Merle's baby and we have a couple of weddings to throw in as well...I'm trying to wrap everything into a nice little package so we can finally get Daryl and Trinity to Asheville and then let the sexcapades begin LOL.
This was kind of a filler chapter, and I apologize for the lack of action. Hope you enjoy it and let me know what you think. I want to give a shout out to all my regular readers and reviewers. Y'all make this fun for me to do. If you have never left a review in the past, please leave me one and let me know what you think...I want to hear from the quiet folks!
After watching the last episode of the TWD I do realize this version of Daryl is a bit softer than Daryl on the show. Sunday's night episode with him and Beth was just incredible to me, and I thought both actors did an amazing job. I have re-watched the episode twice since Sunday and will probably watch it again a time or two. I was impressed with the character development.
Hope you all have a fantabulous day and once again PLEASE REVIEW for me, even if it is for the first time.
Thanks-
Missy
XXOO