A/N: hello there my friends, yes most of you may hate me but…it's for the greater good. Anyway, as exam season approaches, I wish you all the best of luck in your IGCSE's, AS or A-level, SAT's, or ACT's. Good luck, and may the gods above be on our side in such difficult times.

Lily's POV

I open my eyes, and takes me a minute to remember where I am, it's all so unfamiliar and I'm still not used to Grimmauld's place.

I've been here for two weeks and while everyone's been trying to make me feel welcome, I'm still not comfortable.

Two weeks

It feels like two years.

I look at the clock in the room I'm sleeping in, my room, and it's only 5 in the morning.

I'm still so used to my old routine, waking up every day at the break of dawn, the hospital, the surgeries. Now I just sit here, help around the house when I can, not important anymore.

I sigh and go to the bathroom, after washing my face I feel a little better. I grab the phone George gave me and call him. I fidget with my necklace while the phone rings.

"Hey," he says as soon as he picks up, his voice immediately fills me with warmth and I smile

"Good morning, Georgie. How's everything going?" I ask him,

"What do you want to know? Stephanie is still devastated, Sirius is trying his best to help her at home and I'm trying my best with her at the hospital." He sighs, and I can feel my heart break at Steph's condition. I never wanted to inflict pain on any of them.

"What about James?" My voice breaks when I say his name, and I hear George take a breath on the phone. My fingers trace the outline of the heart pendant for the millionth time.

"Well, after the funeral I haven't seen him at all. Stephanie tells me he spends all his time in the office, going early and coming back late. She also told me that he signed up in the gym, so he doesn't have time for anyone. I think he's a mess, Lily, he's trying to keep his mind busy from thinking about you." George sounds sympathetic.

This time I felt my heart shatter into a million pieces.

"You need to talk to him, George." I tell him quickly gripping the phone tighter

"I'm not in any place to talk to him, besides, Steph tried he just told her he's fine." He explains, I bite my lip to keep myself from crying.

"What about the hospital? Is everything okay there?" I change the subject from James

"Your patients miss you, Lily. Dr Wilson arrived a day after the accident, just like you planned and he's been excellent with your patients. Don't worry." I hear him let out a breath of laughter, he always laughed at my obsession with my patients.

"What about you?" I ask him, I hear him breath in and out.

"I miss you," he says simply

"I miss you too, George."

"When are you coming back?" he asks, I don't answer "Are you coming back?" he changes the question. Tears burn in my eyes, god I wish I could answer those questions.

"I have to go now, George, I'll call you tomorrow okay? Same time." I hang up before he could say anything.

I owe George so much for his help. Without him, I couldn't have done this.

He met me at the road on the cliff just like we planned, along with Severus. He somehow managed to get a body from the morgue and took some blood from me before he drove off to the hospital. Severus injected some Polyjuice potion, with my hair, in the body and it looked just like me. After that we just put the body in my car and pushed it off the road.

Severus took me here afterwards, I was welcomed by Dumbledore, he's a great man just like James described him.

Dumbledore told me I would be staying here, in 12 Grimmauld place. He explained that this is Sirius' house. But after Sirius left at 16 and with no one left to use the house, he gave Dumbledore full consent to use the house. He also told me about the order of phoenix.

Apparently, this is the headquarters of the. I met some of the order's members; Molly and Arthur Weasley, Alice and Frank Longbottom, Alastor Moody, Arabella Figg, Benjy Fewick, Dorcas Meadows, and Edgar Bones.

They said there's more, but some of them go to missions, while others are being protected.

After being out of touch with the wizarding world, coming back feels like a breath of fresh air. I haven't used my wand this much since I was in school, and using it again this much makes me happy.

Although the condition is much worse than I expected and muggle borns are being murdered every day, some half-bloods get killed too and now death eaters are also killing "blood traitors" also known as Order members.

All this hate and crime makes my blood boil, because it's all so useless. Why kill someone or hate someone because his or her background is different from yours?

Magic runs through our blood and that's all that should matter.

So many people put their lives on the line every day fighting for what's right, and that really inspires.

I've been sitting around doing nothing, scared from stupid death eaters all my life. But now, today, I'm going to tell Dumbledore that I want to join the order.

Everyone thinks I'm dead, and that makes me an asset on their team, I want to help, make a difference. And even if I do die, it won't make a difference, I died the day I left James. Being away from him is my hell.

A/N: Sorry I was a little late, I just didn't know how to approach this chapter and it took me while. Please review, I want to hear what you think so far. Thank you all for reading, I love you guys.