Niner Caboose. When she learns that one of their sisters didn't make in the war, Niner has to find a way to tell her brother.

Wondering Why We're Here
Chapter Thirty-Eight: Caboose Siblings: Have to Tell Him

A week straight of avoiding the brother whose side she had just before refused to leave, and Wash jumped her case.

"You can't do that to him," Wash had said with more anger and protective outrage than Niner had thought him capable of. "Take it from someone who learned the hard way – you can't wall Caboose out and make him deal on his own. Whatever it is you're going through, he deserves not just to know, but to know it's not his fault."

If she had had the energy after a week straight of taking out her frustrations and grief on herself, she would have popped him in the jaw right there.

But she didn't. So instead she was taking his advice and standing before Michael.

Niner stared at him. She wasn't sure what was worse – the fact that she didn't know if Caboose would understand or even remember… or if she was beginning to wonder if that would have been easier.

Her brother's happiness at her crash landing and return to him on Chorus had been as strong as it was fleeting. It didn't take too many conversations with his team to learn why – that he lost someone he considered to be his best friend.

It was part of why she had held out so long on trying to have this conversation with him.

He noticed her and grew a large, content smile, though it slowly dipped, uncertain. That hurt, but she deserved that for avoiding him for so long.

"Hey," she said with a small wave.

"Hello," he replied back, fingers tapping together nervously.

"Can I sit here?" Niner asked reluctantly.

"Can you sit… OF COURSE YOU CAN!" he yelled, leaping to his feet and dusting off the bench.

"I want to sit with you," she clarified as she walked over and swung her legs over the bench.

"Oh, good," he sighed with relief, plopping down next to her. Almost immediately, he began rubbing at his hair, looking very concerned with the table before them. It was his workbench – wires and gadgets everywhere, Freckles – the gun version – protectively leaned up against the wall. His big brown eyes looked at her nervously. "Are you mad at me?"

"No," Niner said somberly, "I'm sorry you thought I was."

He looked down again, frown growing on his face. Caboose looked so concerned with trying to figure out the mystery of her behavior. It would have been comical if it wasn't such a punch to her gut.

"Why don't we talk like friends anymore?" he asked, frown still set.

"We are still friends," she clarified, turning to face him directly. "Don't you worry about that part, okay? Brothers and sisters? We're friends for life… for…"

She closed her eyes, feeling the swelling of tears. She couldn't do this. She set her head down on the table and took a shaky breath. God. Her sister. She hadn't talked to her sister even longer than she hadn't talked to her brother – the person who had died on Chorus probably wasn't even the same one that she had once known, had once babysat and counted the stars with.

"Please don't be sad," Caboose whispered, wrapping his arms around her.

Niner made an ugly sob, leaning into her brother's chest. She swallowed dryly, patting his arm. "S-sometimes, Mikey… sometimes it's right to be sad."

"Okay," he said back.

She looked up to him. "Do you remember the moon? And our sisters?"

"I love the moon," he said, looking off to the distance, eyes shining. "I love my sisters, too."

"Yeah…" she sniffed. "You know… when we go home… things won't be the same. Not everyone's still on the moon."

"Like us."

"Like us," she agreed. "But… we're going to go back. Not… not everyone's going back to the moon, Mikey. One of our sisters. She can't. She can't go back anymore."

He grew quiet at that, frown tugging at the corners of his mouth. He looked at Niner seriously. "Can we go see her?"

"No," Niner said softly. "No. She's gone. We won't see her for a long time."

Niner searched his features, tried to see if Caboose was grasping the meaning behind her words, but it was unclear. He looked away, released her from the hug.

"I don't like my friends going where I can't," he said, and then nothing more.

As if to make sure they were finished with the subject, he began to pick up his tools again and go to work. Niner opened her mouth, but she couldn't think of anything to say.

Instead she just laid her head against her brother's shoulder and watched.