Author's Note: Thanks to my beta for all of her hard work. Remember to read and review.

Disclaimer: I don't own the show. Don't sue me for putting my plot bunnies to use.

No Other One
Chapter Thirty-Seven: A Great Divide
By Duckie Nicks

"There are times when silence has the loudest voice." – Leroy Brownlow

Horatio sat in his bedroom for what felt like an eternity. The sun had almost completely set now, casting the quiet room in a haze of silver and grays. The next-door neighbors were throwing a party, it seemed, the din of chatter filtering into the room. Though the redhead couldn't quite make out the words they were saying, it was obvious that everyone involved was having a nice time. They were enjoying the last few days of summer and each other's company.

And for a moment, Horatio smiled at the thought, only to remember how he had ensured his own family would never do things like that together.

His nephew despised him. Yelina didn't want anything to do with him. And Kyle didn't trust him.

His other family, his team, was probably going to feel the same way. Calleigh had begun to come around, but she had always trusted him and forgiven him for his shortcomings. The blonde had never been sentimental about that fact; the bond they seemed to share was one easily missed by most. But Horatio knew it existed, because she'd done so much for him.

That included helping him shake what could have been a murder charge.

He'd been innocent then, of course, but she'd never wavered in her belief that he was a good person. And yet… when it came to his son, Calleigh had faltered. He didn't blame her for it, but that didn't take away the sorrow he felt. She could defend him against the most heinous crime imaginable, but as soon as he did something wrong, that trust was shattered. Granted, the CSI had begun to forgive him, but they were still a long ways away from being as close as they once were. And there was a good chance that she would never again trust him like she once had.

Horatio shifted on his bed at the thought. His hands tucked behind his head, his blue eyes stared aimlessly at the shadows dancing around his ceiling. He should get up and make sure that Kyle was okay, he told himself. The boy was probably hungry by now, and the redhead was sure taking care of that fell under the category of things he had to do as a father.

But his limbs didn't want to cooperate, because they, like the rest of him, didn't want to deal with the world outside of this room. It was selfish, yes. Childish, obviously, but Horatio wasn't ready to come to terms with what had happened. Before he'd gone to Yelina's, the redhead had told himself that she would be angry and he would have to accept that. He'd known that he would end up here, that his friends and family would resent him when they found out.

He'd known it was going to happen, but… it felt differently to be living that life now. Even though he'd pictured it to be hell, Horatio understood now that the actual experience was far worse. Because he hadn't imagined the harsh words his sister-in-law had said to him. Exacting in their delivery, her insults and insinuations had wounded him; the blows he'd anticipated, but Yelina had gone far beyond what he could have ever pictured her saying.

So too had Horatio underestimated just how much it would hurt to tell Ray Junior. He'd known it was going to happen, but in that moment, watching his nephew's eyes turn to anger and scorn was… more horrible than words could ever properly describe.

And worse than anything was knowing that he deserved it. His friends and family would hate him, and in Horatio's own eyes, they had every reason to.

The thought chilled him to the bone, froze him in his place. How he'd ever managed to drive home, the redhead would never know. His mind couldn't move beyond this day, passed the horrible things Yelina had said.

She'd wanted to kill him.

Many people, Horatio understood, probably wanted to murder him. But his sister-in-law had always cared about him. To have her join the ranks of people who resented him… There were no words to describe just how much that hurt.

But it was his own doing; this was his fault and no one else's. And the longer he lay in bed staring at the ceiling, the clearer that thought became.

It was all his fault.

Guilt throbbed within him like a healing bruise accidentally pushed. As much success as he'd had in his life, as much as he'd been able to overcome his childhood, there were also many glaring failures. And this just seemed to be one more error on a long list of mistakes.

Which hardly made him exceptional in his family. His brother, his father – they'd all gone down this path, and it killed Horatio to know that he was now venturing on that same journey. A large part of him, the one that always felt the weight of the world on his shoulders, seemed resigned to it.

But there was another part of him – the fighter – that was determined to put an end to the pattern of screwing up and then screwing up your child. Horatio sat up straight then on the bed. Realization crept down the back of his neck, burning a path along his spine. Here he'd been mourning his relationship with his nephew and sister-in-law and Kyle…

Well, the redhead had forgotten all about his son. He ran a hand through his hair. That was horrible, he thought. He'd barely had the boy in his custody for more than a few hours, and he'd already lied to him and pushed him away.

But that would end now.

Horatio stood up, determined, and marched to the bedroom door. He was not, he told himself, giving up hope – not when it came to his son, himself, or his family. Yelina and Ray Junior were mad now, and so would his team when they all learned the truth, but they would all eventually come around; they would. And in the meantime, there was no point in pushing the one family member he had left away.

The redhead yanked open the bedroom door and, with his head held high, walked out. Over the past twenty-four hours, his spirits had taken him on a rollercoaster ride. He'd gone from thinking he wouldn't be able to get Kyle out of jail to triumphantly being able to do that to pleading with Yelina. And he doubted anyone would fault him for throwing his hands in the air and quitting.

But now that Horatio was determined to do the right thing, he found himself rebounding. Yelina's words and Ray Junior's face had already begun to fade from the forefront of his mind.

His blue eyes looked left and right for any sign of where Kyle might be. The need to talk to the boy was almost overwhelming. Glancing over to the guest bedroom, which was now Kyle's room, the redhead didn't see any lights on. So he headed towards the living room, and there he was; it was so powerful, Horatio realized, seeing his son in his home. A yearning to be close to the teenager began to pull at him.

Unfortunately, the blond was seated rather stiffly on the leather sofa, his brown eyes trained on the muted television in front of him. There was no acknowledgement from Kyle – no "hey" or a head tilt. There was nothing; the teenager acted as though Horatio wasn't even in the room.

And despite wanting to do the right thing, the redhead found himself clenching his jaw nervously. Defeat once more crept up on him; he could want to be a father, but it was obvious in the way Kyle acted that he wasn't looking for that. Horatio hadn't been looking for… hugs and kisses, but…

What had he been thinking, the redhead almost wondered allowed. He couldn't do this – there was just no way he could be a parent to this boy who wanted nothing to do with him.

Panic began to overwhelm his senses. But as he turned to go back to the master bedroom, Kyle spoke up. "You okay?"

The older man spun around, his blue eyes meeting the dark ones looking at him as though he were crazy. There was no real sympathy being offered here, Horatio realized. It was a cursory question at best, nothing more. But…

Maybe if they went through the motions of being a caring family, they could eventually become that.

"Hmm," Horatio responded non-committed. Changing the subject, he asked, "Are you hungry?"

"I could eat."

"All right," he said, nodding his head. There was an awkward pause, and Horatio felt the need to break the silence as quickly as he could. "Uh… well, I didn't make it to the store, Kyle. So I guess we'll have to order in." God, this was painful, the redhead thought to himself.

"That's cool," Kyle told him with a shrug.

"There's a burger place just down the block. They deliver… is that all right with you?" he asked hesitantly.

Unless Horatio was very much mistaken, the teenager before him shifted almost imperceptibly then. There seemed to be a slight hesitation on the boy's part, though the redhead couldn't understand why. Maybe he didn't want greasy food. Perhaps Kyle didn't want anything to with him at all.

Whatever the reason, it seemed to pass as Kyle nodded his head. "That's fine."

Under any other circumstances, Horatio probably would have pressed the matter. His years as a CSI had taught him to see beyond the surface of things. Whether it was a wiped-down crime scene or a carefully crafted façade, the redhead had learned to find the truth amongst deception. And the way Kyle was behaving… there was something else going on. Something beyond the natural awkwardness of their situation, Horatio believed.

But what could he do about that now? This was not an interrogation; explanations weren't easily owed, much less given. And perhaps, the redhead had some right to know what was going on as Kyle's father, but… at the moment, that was in title only. He hadn't earned the right to ask.

So he let the matter drop. Except for a brief interlude of discussing drinks, the two remained silent until well after the food arrived.

Now sitting quietly at the kitchen table, they ate their dinner. Save for the occasional slurp of coke or a "This tastes good," there was no noise, no conversation, nothing to make Horatio feel like he was eating with someone. And it shouldn't haven this difficult, he lamented. After everything that happened, there was so much that needed to be discussed.

But there was only silence.

Until finally he couldn't take it anymore. "I, uh, suppose you want to know what happened earlier," Horatio said slowly. Kyle bit off part of a fry and shrugged. "Well, I did plan on going to the grocery store," he lied. "But… I learned that my sister-in-law – you've met her, Kyle."

"Did I?"

"She was the private investigator I hired to follow you around."

"Oh… I didn't know." The words were uttered quietly, in a voice so unlike what the redhead had heard during the boy's interrogation.

In fact thinking about it now, Horatio thought that Kyle seemed like an entirely different person – hesitant, shy, meek. It was the exact opposite of what he'd seen from the teen in the last two or three days. And Horatio didn't know what to make of it. It was so odd, and he couldn't help but think that the teenager wasn't being totally honest. The only question for him now was deciding which personality, if either, was real.

Of course, Horatio admitted to himself, he wasn't being completely genuine either. Even now, he was lying about the grocery store. A small lie, but one nevertheless, and knowing that made the task of being a family with Kyle seem all the less possible.

But he'd decided to try that the moment he'd protected his son from prison. So there was nothing else to do but to keep trying. And pushing aside his doubts, Horatio continued, "Well… she learned you existed."

"Right." The teenager's voice didn't give away much. But the way Kyle paused as he drank some more of his soda did pique Horatio's curiosity.

"So… I didn't make it to the store, because I needed to make things right with her," he finished quickly.

Kyle looked over at him. "Did you?"

The redhead knew that lying wouldn't work here, given his behavior when he'd come home. It would just be too easy to see through anything other than the truth. Still… the truth in all of its glory was one he hadn't planned on sharing – ever. So the redhead decided that a… limited view of things would work best. "Obviously, she's… unhappy with me right now. But I've apologized –"

"Oh."

Too busy reliving the event once more in his mind, Horatio failed to see how his son was taking this information. "So I think it will be resolved soon," he finished quickly, pulling himself out of his thoughts. "She just… needs some time…"

The contradiction was evident, even to himself, but there was no taking back the words that now seemed like a lie. No, he corrected. They were a lie, because Horatio had no idea if or when Yelina would forgive him. He'd hurt her before but not like this. And she'd forgiven him, after being angry for a small chunk of time, but… this was different.

This was worse.

The uneasy silence drifted over the two once more. And shortly after, Kyle stood up, announcing, "I think… I'm gonna go to bed." When Horatio glanced at the clock to see that it was barely 8:00, the boy admitted, "I know it's early, but…" The thought went unfinished, but the redhead understood that the day had been long for both of them.

"Right," he said lamely.

"Okay… night."

"Good night, Kyle."

The teenager quickly disappeared into his bedroom down the hall, leaving Horatio with the dishes. But it wasn't until long after the redhead had finished tidying his house that he realized what he had done. As he lay in bed once more, reliving the day for what felt like the thousandth time, Horatio understood, saw, that he had told Kyle that he had apologized to Yelina.

He'd apologized for the boy's existence, or so it would probably look like to the teenager. And… Horatio had blown it. He hadn't even thought about it…

He hadn't even seen it at the time.

And lamely, the redhead thought that, if this were to work at all, he would need plenty of lessons on how to be a parent. That it didn't come naturally for him filled Horatio with such a strong sense of defeat that he was unable to sleep for hours. His failure chased away almost all hopes of slumber.

He was just no good at this parenting stuff. And the worst part of all was this: there was only one person he trusted and respected enough to ask for help.

And she was no longer talking to him.

She paused, her spoon in mid-air as her son asked, "Are you ever going to speak to Uncle Horatio again?"

Yelina turned and looked at Ray junior, his eyes trained on her in curiosity.

It was a loaded question, one that she wasn't all that prepared to answer. Because, in all honesty, the sister-in-law didn't know how to address the situation anymore. She'd yelled at the redhead, berated him. But where the path headed next… she didn't know.

There were no words of advice her mother had imparted on her has a child; this hadn't been taught in school or the police academy. No maps or road signs, no light to illuminate what her next step should be, Yelina felt incredibly tentative and unsure. Which was so unlike her, she realized; normally, the brunette would make a choice and see what would happen.

Was it impulsive? Maybe, but Yelina herself preferred to describe it as… not lamenting her decisions. But after Rio, after her marriage to her husband had ended once more in his death and her pain, she couldn't do that anymore. And now, the choices before her needed to be carefully considered, lest she hurt her son again.

Should she cut Horatio out of her life for good?

That question weighed heavily on her mind. In so many ways, it felt anathema to what she could do. He'd been a part of their lives for so long, and he'd helped her in ways Yelina hadn't imagined possible. Cutting him off meant she could never forgive him, that she could never assist him in the way he had her… and the brunette wasn't sure she could do that.

Especially since part of her was resigned to always having him in her life. In Rio she'd missed his company horribly, and that lonesome year had only furthered her conviction that having Horatio in her life was something she needed. Maybe, if Ray had treated her better, that wouldn't be true. But as things were, her brother-in-law had almost always been around to help her.

Not to mention, if cutting him out had been that simple… well, Yelina probably would have already done that. Because, as good as Horatio could be to her, their relationship always ended up causing problems. He would help her, and she would use it as a foothold to get closer to the elusive man. And for a brief amount of time, he would let her… before getting scared and pushing her away, leaving her heartbroken.

The back and forth always led to her being the one hurt. But she'd never managed to get rid of him or her feelings for him, and even now… Yelina wasn't sure she could do it. Besides never speaking to him again meant destroying any hope for that happy ending she'd chased for so many years.

And it definitely meant that he would never be able to offer her a sufficient apology for his lies. Anger renewed itself within her, making her grit her teeth. The brunette doubted he would ever be able to find the words adequate enough to soothe her feelings of betrayal… but that didn't mean she wanted to prevent him from trying.

That didn't mean she didn't want to see him grope about for the right words just as she had done so in the hopes of capturing his heart.

Placing her spoon back in the bowl of ajiaco with a clatter, Yelina looked away from her son for a moment. She needed to find the right words to express what she wanted to say. The brunette ran her tongue along her teeth to buy herself some time. But when, after a couple minutes, the words she wanted weren't going to show, Yelina understood she'd have to fake it.

Turning to Ray Junior once more, she told him, "I don't really know, Ray. I've gotten my old job back – at least I will after a few tests," she announced.

The look on her son's face was anything but thrilled. But then again, Yelina hadn't honestly expected it to be when it came to her career. Trying to avoid a fight, she pressed on, "Realistically, I won't be able to ignore him at work."

"But outside of that?"

"I… don't know, honey."

She waited for him patiently to respond, because the mother understood all too well that this wasn't the end of the conversation – no matter what his momentary silence suggested.

And finally, Ray asked, "What about me? Do I have to talk to him?"

Carefully Yelina considered his words and the way he had tentatively spoken them. Eating a bite of the chicken stew to buy herself some time, she contemplated how best to answer him.

Was he looking for her approval to completely sever ties with Horatio? Or did he want subtle encouragement to let him know that it was okay to reach out to his uncle?

True, there was no denying her son was angry with the redhead – or at least had been. Because looking at him now… it was impossible to see in the minute lines of his face what he wanted to hear. And she wasn't even considering what she'd told Horatio.

The brunette recalled how she'd said that she would encourage Ray Junior to speak to him. But that had been a lie, uttered for the sole purpose of making her brother-in-law leave. And it had worked, just as she had known it would; Horatio had left, and she'd been able to tend to her son, but… now she almost felt beholden to the promise. Because if she were going to be angry with the redhead for lying, then… Yelina believed she herself needed to stay true to her word.

Swallowing hard, she finally spoke. "I can't decide that for you, Ray," she answered gently.

His response, however, was anything but soft. "Funny, you've never not had an opinion on who I talk to before." He crossed his arms accusingly.

"Next time your uncle is a fifteen year old child with his learner's license and a penchant for drinking and stealing, perhaps I will be more opinionated. If this were a matter of your safety, yes, I would have plenty to say. That is not the issue here. If you wish to speak to him, Raymond, then do so when you are ready. If you don't want to, I can't force you, and I won't try. Finish your ajiaco," she ordered irritably.

But Ray ignored the command, instead twisting in his seat to look at her more clearly. "You're only saying that, because you told him you would tell me to talk to him," he accused. "Or else you'd be saying to never speak to Horatio again."

"Oh really?" she snapped back.

"Yes."

"I understand that you're upset, but I would have thought that it would cross your mind that maybe I am giving you a choice, because I don't know what to tell you to do." She stood up, taking both their bowls to the sink and dropping them in angrily. As Yelina started to wash the dishes, she said, "I don't know what you should do, because I myself have no idea how to handle this mess."

She scrubbed vigorously at the remnants of soup for a moment before calming down. Turning around and looking at him, the brunette said quietly, "If I knew in my heart that a relationship with Horatio would only cause you more pain, then it would never matter what I'd told him. Never."

The "I know" her son admitted was so quiet it was almost impossible to hear.

"How you handle your uncle is your choice, one that I can't make for you. But," she added, gingerly. "I know you, and I don't believe you will be happy without him in your life. And… in the very least, I know you will want an explanation from him. You won't be satisfied until you get that."

Silence would have descended over the kitchen, if it weren't for the sound of water dripping from the bowls onto the stainless steel sink. And when Ray Junior didn't say anything, the mother turned back to her task of cleaning up the mess dinner had made.

So focused on what she was doing, Yelina did not hear her son stand up. Not until he was right next to her, his face buried into her shoulder, did she realize he'd moved at all. She turned off the water rushing into the sink and turned to face, him, pulling him into a hug once more.

"I don't think I can face him," Ray Junior mumbled into her hair. "I want to know why, but I… don't want to talk to him."

She sighed, letting the sad words wash over her. "Honey… you don't have to decide tonight. Give it some time."

"Yeah." But when the mother went to caress his cheek, he quickly pulled away from her wet hands. His nose scrunched up in disgust, he whined, "I don't want your dish hands touching me."

Rolling her eyes, Yelina turned back to her task, knowing that the small moment between them was over. And as Ray walked away, she called out to him, "And don't just go play videogames. You have school tomorrow; do your homework." She didn't have to turn and look at him to know that the teenager was probably plotting some way to get out of school. So she warned him half-jokingly, "I mean it – if I have to drag you by your hair, you're going."

"Then I guess I'll be shaving my head," he said simply as he disappeared into his room.

The light-hearted moment was just what she needed to end this awful day. The warm tone of her son's voice was almost enough to make her forget the fight with Horatio and all the nasty things she'd said. But not really, because the more she thought about it, the more Yelina couldn't help but wonder: if today could turn out so horribly, what would tomorrow bring?

End (38/??)