I Write Sins, Not Tragedies
A Girl Meets World Fan Fiction Series
Chapter 38: Just Give Me A Reason
"What are you doing?"
Maya's hands were on Zay's shoulders, shoving him away from her as quickly as possible. Before she even had the time to truly comprehend what had just happened, she was pushing him away and backing up herself, as if to put as much distance as possible between them.
"You told me that I should go for it," Zay said, putting his hands up in the air defensively.
"You're Lucas's best friend! I'm dating your best friend! The guy who got expelled from school for you," Maya shrieked, denim blue eyes bulging from her head.
"You still don't know what really went down in Texas, do you?" Zay asked, eyes starting to narrow.
"What are you talking about? I know that you got yourself into trouble just like you always do and Lucas got expelled trying to get you out of whatever mess you got yourself into. What more do I need to know?" Maya challenged, crossing her arms over her chest.
"Believe me, Maya, there's a lot more that you need to know about that story," Zay shook his head, a disgusted look on his face.
"Zay….you need to talk to Lucas," Maya shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts.
Too much was happening. There was far too much going on for her to try to make sense of anything. Her best friend was in the hospital, lying in a bed unconscious because some idiot driver hadn't been able to stop their vehicle in time. She had broken down into a crumbling mess in front of her boyfriend when they had been about to take their relationship to the next level. And after she had rejected Lucas that night, after all that she had done to build that night up for them, she had kissed his best friend, and now she was doubting her boyfriend's integrity because she was actually questioning whether Zay was telling her the truth or not.
"About what?" Zay cocked an eyebrow.
"About your feelings for me. About the fact that you kissed me," Maya gasped.
"Why? It doesn't mean anything, does it?"
"Clearly it does to you!" Maya snapped.
"You know what's going to happen if I tell Lucas," Zay reminded her. "You know as well as I do that he's going to get pissed. He's going to storm out of here and there's enough drama going on tonight. He doesn't need to know, because he already knows that I'm into you. He never has to know that you rejected me," Zay shoved his hands back into his pockets and lowered his head.
"He needs to know that you kissed me!" Maya exclaimed. "I can't lie to him about this. He's going to find out eventually and he's going to be even more upset if I don't tell him," she pointed out.
"You can tell him if you want to, but I'm not going to be responsible for whatever he does to cope with it," Zay insisted.
"Zay, what's wrong with you?" Maya frowned, eyebrows furrowing together. "You're never like this….you always care about Lucas…"
"Yeah, well, maybe I'm just sick of covering for him about what really went down in Texas," Zay muttered, shaking his head.
"What are you talking about? Zay, what happened in Texas?" Maya wondered.
"Ask your boyfriend when you're telling him about that kiss, since it means so much to you that you guys are totally honest with one another," Zay rolled his eyes before pushing past Maya and taking off. Before he completely disappeared, however, he glanced back over his shoulder and called out to her, "But, if you were smart, you'd just leave things how they are, because when you hear about what really happened in Texas, you're never going to look at him the same way again."
Maya sighed, closing her eyes tightly as she leaned back against the wall, sliding down to the floor and wrapping her arms around her legs. She took a few deep breaths, trying to settle her breathing. She knew that trying to figure out her thoughts was going to be a lost cause, because far too much had happened. What she really needed was a good night's sleep, but there was no way that she would be able to get that before she had some sort of answers.
Unfortunately, she was pretty sure that those answers were going to come at a price that she wasn't quite sure she was ready to pay. And she knew that when she was trying to get those answers, she was going to have to confess to what had happened with Zay, and she knew that he was right.
Lucas was going to storm off and even more drama was going to unfold for her group of friends than there already was.
But, she couldn't do anything without knowing what had really happened in Texas, because it seems to be the missing link for everything that was going on between Lucas and Zay at the current moment. And she couldn't expect Lucas to tell her everything and give her the full, honest truth if she wasn't going to do the same thing. It would be hypocritical and she knew it.
So, Maya had to bite the bullet and do something that she had always struggled with. She was going to have to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth, and deal with the consequences.
And that would be even harder than she had ever imagined it being, because she wasn't going to have Riley by her side to hold her hand and assure her that everything was going to be okay in the end. All that she was going to have to go on was a gut instinct telling her that she was doing the right thing and that it would all be worth it in the end.
Now she just had to pray that her instincts were right, and that everything would work out for her in the end for the first time in her life.
"Riles," Maya plopped down on the chair besides her best friend's hospital bed and reached out to grab the brunette's hand. "I could really use some advice right now and I don't know who I'm supposed to turn to right now, because you're the person I always go to, but you can't really help me right now," she sighed.
She knew that Riley couldn't respond to her. She knew that even if Riley could respond, now wasn't the right time for Maya to be harassing Riley with her problems. Even though Maya was an emotional mess, Riley was a physical mess and that made her the priority. Still, Maya needed to talk to her best friend, even if she knew that she was never going to get any answers from her. So, if she had to talk to a comatose Riley Matthews, that was exactly what she was going to do.
"Riles, I know that you've always said that I know Lucas better than anybody else, but I don't think that even I know him well enough," Maya confessed. "Zay told me that there's more to the Texas story than any of us think happened, but I don't know how to ask Lucas about it….and, if I expect him to tell me the truth, I would have to tell him about what happened with Zay and me earlier…" Maya trailed off, unable to bring herself to actually confess what had happened to anybody-even her unconscious best friend who knew everything and anything about her.
"What happened between you and Zay?"
Maya's eyes widened as she dropped Riley's hand, taken aback by the voice that was coming from the doorway behind her. She had turned the chair next to Riley's bed, so that her back was to the door and she could face Riley almost head-on. In her mind, that plan had been brilliant because she would have been able to feel just a little bit more intimate with her best friend. But, looking back on things now, she regretted turning her back to an open door, because that meant that she was just asking for people to overhear her.
"Lucas," Maya sighed, slowly rising to her feet.
"What happened between you and Zay?"
She squeezed her eyes shut and slowly put the chair back in its corner, before turning around to face her boyfriend, while releasing a breathe that she hadn't realized she'd been holding.
"What happened between you and Zay?" He asked again, his voice hollow and lacking emotion. His muscles were tight and Maya could see the anger starting to fill his hunter green eyes.
It was an anger that she rarely ever saw from him. She had seen it back when Zay had first moved to New York, when he had had to defend his best friend from some rebel of a bully. It was a look that matched the one Lucas had used when he had seen Riley talking to Evan and the look he had every time Maya had ever spoken to Josh. It was the very same look that he had had when he had burst through Riley's barricaded window after finding out that she was being cyber bullied. It was the look that he had had when Riley didn't believe in him. It was the look that he had had when he pinned Billy Ross up against the wall after learning that he had been the one to say those horrible things to Farkle.
Lucas had a certain look when he was angry that showed that he was losing control and he was about to fade back into the boy from Texas that he had tried so hard to overcome. Maya usually was able to calm him down. She had always been able to talk him off the ledge just by saying his name or placing a hand on his arm.
This time was different, though, because the look was because of something that had happened to Maya. For the first time it wasn't because of a factor that Maya could control and it wasn't something that was done to somebody else. It was something that had happened to Maya and that made Lucas completely lose control.
It was the look on his face that confirmed Maya's worst fears-Lucas already knew about what had happened with Zay, and he was ready to go and murder his former best friend. But, before he could allow himself to do that, he wanted to hear what Maya had to say about the entire mess.
"Ranger Rick," Maya sighed, trying to lighten the mood and cringing at the lack of a smile that her comment got from Lucas. "Maybe we shouldn't do this here? Let's…let's go get some coffee or something and talk about it somewhere else," she offered.
"She can't hear us, Maya," Lucas rolled his eyes.
"I don't want to do this here," Maya whispered.
"Alright," Lucas nodded once. "Let's go."
He shoved his hands into his pockets, making it clear that he wasn't completely indifferent to Maya. He was angry with her, even if it wasn't to the same level that he was angry with Zay. And he wasn't anywhere near as close to hating her, the way that he now hated Zay, who had always been his very best friend. The guy who had always stuck by his side and made sure that he had somebody to lean on.
It hadn't taken much for Zay to fall for Maya.
His feelings had developed almost as soon as he had met her, and from the moment he realized that they existed, he had known that he would never be able to act on them.
After all, from the second that he had walked into Mr. Matthews eighth grade history class, he had learned one very important lesson. Maya Hart was everything that he had ever wanted, but she was already taken.
That much had ben obvious from the dynamic of the classroom. Of the way that every single person in that class, except for the four most important students, watched the way that Maya and Lucas interacted with one another, with slightly amused smiles as though they knew exactly what would end up happening.
But, to Zay, from the first time that Maya had laughed at one of his jokes and to the way that she lit up the entire room with her voice, it was clear that this girl was going to be a threat to his friendship. After all, she was like an angel and she was everything that he had ever wanted in his life. She was Lucas, in female form, with the ability to control her emotions, and that made her even more enticing to him.
"What? Y'all started without me?"
Zay burst into the history classroom for his first class on his first day at a new school in a new city, in a new state. Of course, he knew one thing was going to be the same. His best friend, Lucas Friar, would be there and he would be exactly the same as the last time that Zay had seen him. Troublesome and ready to save Zay, every time his mouth got him into some trouble.
"GET OUT!" A boy with a bowl cut jumped to his feet and pointed towards the door with an angry look on his face.
"Someone in this room is going to be very surprised to see me," Zay stated, ignoring the strange boy in the brightly colored turtleneck, and making his way towards the front of the classroom with his usual, carefree smile on his face.
"Is it me?" A cute brunette with a sweet smile asked from the front row.
"Don't know, sugar, but could you get any cuter?" Zay smiled at her, leaning forward and flashing her a quick wink.
"Well, I can't answer that," the brunette said, with her cheeks tinting red and her smile widening.
"You got a transcript, kid?" the teacher asked, walking out from behind his desk with his hand outstretched.
"I do," Zay nodded, handing over the folder in his hands. "Check out them grades-here, let me sing 'em to you! D-D-D-D-D-D….D-F," He finished with the final letter coming out somewhat flat sounding but that same grin on his face.
"Yeah, I know that song," a beautiful blonde sitting besides the brunette laughed, shaking out her blonde curls that surrounded her rounded face like a wild mane. She had a large smile on her face and it threatened to take over all of her features,
She was gorgeous, and as soon as she spoke, Zay's world stopped spinning.
"Isaiah Babineaux. From Austin, Texas," Zay smiled, eyes locked on the blonde.
"What are you doing here, Zay?" Lucas asked, eyes narrowing as he watched his best friend from back home staring at the girl of his dreams as though she were the reason that his sun rose every morning.
"Well, the first thing I'm doing is waitin' for a better reaction from you," Zay rolled his eyes.
"Maya, something's changing," the brunette said in a panic, staring at the blonde with wide, terror-filled eyes.
"Okay, Mr. Teach, where do I sit? You know, usually I'm more of back row kind of guy," he grinned as he started towards the back.
And then he stopped dead in his tracks when he spotted a girl who highly resembled the bowl-headed boy, with a fifties fashion sense and large glasses. She smiled largely and started waving towards Zay in an overly eager fashion as he turned to look over his shoulder at his new teacher.
"Whoa…that's unusual," he observed.
"Have a seat right there, Mr. Babineaux," Mr. Matthews said, nodding towards the seat behind Lucas.
"Lucas," the brunette turned around and stared at him with confusion written all over her face. "Do you know this Isaiah?"
"Yeah," Zay smirked, sitting down on the top of the desk that he had just been assigned. "Tell 'em you know me good."
"How 'bout we talk later, okay?" Lucas pleaded.
"Well, Mr. Babineaux, if you work out as well as last year's new student," the teacher stopped to point at Lucas. "We're happy to have you."
"Wait…what?" Zay froze, eyes locked on his best friend. "Lucas, you're doing okay here?"
"Why wouldn't he be okay here?" the brunette wondered, furrowing her eyebrows together.
"Not currently on probation? No disciplinary actions? They just let you wander free?"
"Sit down!" the strange boy insisted again.
Zay rolled his eyes, sliding down into his actual chair, rather than sitting on the top of the desk.
"Okay-new guy's all settled in and there's still class time left, so do it! Do it while I'm still tingly!" the boy insisted eagerly.
"So, in 1831, Belgium declared-"
"What is the secret of life?" A short boy with spikey black hair jumped up to feet. "I'm sorry, Mr. Farkle," he said quickly, looking over at the strange boy, who was gasping at the little one in shock.
And then he turned towards the teacher and began to speak again, confusing Zay even further.
"I know I'm not your daughter, but I too have value in this world. What is the secret of life?" he wondered.
As Mr. Matthews chuckled and started to erase the black board, the strange kid-Farkle, apparently-started to have a meltdown.
"Don't do it! Put it down and no one gets hurt!" He pleaded, before starting to scream as he punched his head over and over again.
"Yogi asked the primary riddle of the universe: What is the secret of life? People spend their entire lives trying to figure it out. I was lucky. I had a teacher who cared enough about me to make sure I knew. Lucas, you got an opinion on this?" Mr. Matthew asked, as he turned back towards his class.
"Yes, what do you got, Mr. Moral Compass?" Maya asked with a mocking grin as she turned around and propped her arm onto Lucas's desk, her chin resting in the palm of her hands.
"Did you just call Lucas Friar your moral compass?" Zay gasped, reaching forward and hitting Lucas on the shoulder. "They just called you a moral compass!" He laughed.
Lucas turned around, responding to Zay's laughter with a glare.
"Okay," Zay frowned.
"Something bad is going to happen, Maya," the brunette whispered.
"Yeah, it occurs to me that you're trying to tell us Ranger Rick was a little different back in Texas?" The blonde asked, cocking an eyebrow.
"A little? What do they know, exactly? 'Cause I wouldn't wanna say anything wrong. They know you're a year older, right?" Zay wondered.
"Yeah," Lucas said dryly as he turned around. "Now they do," he glared.
But Zay could tell from the way that Lucas was acting that he hadn't been glaring because of a spilled secret and all of the damage that Zay could do to his reputation. No, he was glaring at Zay, because he knew the threat that Zay could pose to his relationship with Maya. And he could tell from the way that blonde was acting that she knew enough about Texas to satisfy her curiosity. It was the brunette who didn't seem to know anything.
There had been that very first conversation between the blonde beauty from New York City and himself, the Texan class clown. And that had started Zay's downward spiral into having deep rooted feelings for his best friend's girl.
But, that was common sense and everybody knew about that. What really stuck with Zay were all of those times that he had been neglected and rejected by the blonde haired beauty who had been so important to him since the very beginning.
Vanessa walked over to Zay in all of her usual beauty. But, despite her flawless complexion and beautiful smile and button nose, she didn't take Zay's breathe away this time around. Even though her dark, thick mane of hair was curled in that way that Zay had always loved so much and her eyes still had that innocent air of a sweet sparkle in their dark brown orbs, he couldn't bring himself to focus on her as though she were the most important person in the world. She wasn't everything that he had ever wanted, because that girl was right besides him.
Maya was sitting there with her hair curled to perfection, creating that usual wild mane that drove Zay so insane. To try to control the hair that Zay knew she hated so much, she had pulled back a few pieces, creating a crown around her head. Her eyes sparkled, with the light, natural makeup she had emphasizing her features. She was wearing a white dress that resembled something a Greek goddess would wear, which made sense to him, and a pair of cowboy boots that amazed Zay.
And she was smiling, even though he knew that her heart was breaking, because Riley was stepping back to allow Maya to have a chance with Lucas, but Lucas wasn't taking the bait. Instead, he was fighting for Riley and missing his opportunity to be with the girl of his dreams.
But, even though he was sitting with Maya and Lucas was giving up his chances, meaning that Zay could step in, it didn't mean that he wanted Vanessa to approach him just yet. After all, he still barely even had a real friendship with Maya, so how was he supposed to show Vanessa that was he doing better in New York City than he had ever been doing back in Texas, because he had a girl like Maya, who anybody could see was the best type of girl in the world. She was perfect, and he knew that Vanessa would be able to know that after a second of speaking with her. And that was what he wanted-for Vanessa to know that he was with a girl like Maya.
He should have known that things weren't going to go his way.
"Zay?"
"Unbelievable," he muttered, shaking his head.
"How'd New York been treating you?" Vanessa flashed that golden, nice-girl smile that had fooled so many people as she approached the table Zay was sitting at with Farkle, who was stuffing his face with barbeque, and Maya, who was looking like a dream come true.
"Good, yeah," Zay nodded. "Just trying to fit in….making new friends," he shrugged.
"Well, looks like you made some," Vanessa said flatly, her eyes locked on Maya. "Wanna introduce me?"
And that was when Zay knew that he would still be able to have some fun with things.
"Yeah, um…this is Farkle," he explained, nodding towards the nerdy boy who's face was covered in a thick layer of barbeque sauce.
"Texas lady," Farkle observed, shooting Zay a look that showed that he knew exactly who the pretty girl was.
"And this is my friend, Maya," Zay said, shooting Maya a smile.
"You did not just do that," Maya gasped, turning towards Zay and proving that she had actually been paying attention to him.
"What?" Zay gasped.
"You did not just introduce your girlfriend as your friend?" Maya chuckled.
"What?" Zay laughed.
"Isaiah Earl Babineaux!" Maya snapped, slapping him in the shoulder playfully, the way that she always interacted with Lucas.
"Your middle name is Earl?" Vanessa's eyes narrowed.
"No," Zay rolled his eyes as Maya shot her a look as if shocked that this girl would dare try to join in on Maya's flirting with Zay.
"The next time you introduce your girlfriend as your friend, we are through. Do you hear me?" Maya said, placing her hands on Zay's shoulders and turning him to face her, so that her eyes were locked on his.
"I mean, I hear you, but I-"
"Put your arm around me," Maya smiling, shaking her head as though she were amused by Zay's words. He did as he was told and Maya learned against his shoulder with a content smile. "Twirl my hair. Call me honey nugget," she giggled.
"Hi, honey nugget," Zay smiled, unable to hide his amusement at Maya's antics.
"Hi, Hunkalicious," Maya sighed. "Vanessa?" Maya asked, finally giving Vanessa the time of day, which was something she definitely wasn't used to-being ignored, that is.
"Vanessa," Zay confirmed.
"A little possessive, no?" Vanessa observed, crossing her arms over her chest.
"Well, the good ones? You don't let them get away, you know what I mean? With all the girls chasing him around New York City, you have to swoop right in or he'll be gone. I said, ''you have to swoop right in or he will-'"
Zay was enjoying hearing Maya go on, but she was cut off by Riley.
"Isaiah Hank Babineaux!"
"No…"Zay groaned, throwing his head back and hating the fact that the pretty brunette was coming to defend him, because it was ruining his interactions with Maya.
"I don't care," Riley rolled her eyes. "I only care that you don't let Maya get her hooks into you when you know you are mine," she whined.
"This is my friend, Riley," Zay explained.
"Now, how do you like it when he calls you a friend, Riley?" Maya asked, sitting up straight and staring at her best friend with cold eyes.
"I like it," Riley shrugged happily.
"No," Maya said through clenched teeth. "You do not like it," she declared.
"I do not like when you call me just 'friend'," Riley said quickly.
"Well, what would you like for me to call you?" Zay sighed.
"I would like for you to call me….cotton candy face!" Riley said brightly.
"Good girl, I know that was hard for you," Maya laughed, and when she laughed and her entire face lit up, Zay knew that this entire scene was well worth any trouble it may have caused him, because when Vanessa saw that face and the way that Zay looked at Maya when she laughed, he knew that she realized that he was no longer obsessed with her.
It was at that moment that Zay knew that he was never going to be able to get over Maya. She was beautiful and she was kind. She cared about her friends and she would do whatever it took to make them happy.
Even when she was miserable because Lucas was rejecting her, she was still capable of doing everything that she could to help Zay. To make him happy. To keep him from being humiliated in front of Vanessa, because Maya knew how much she had hurt him before he had left Texas.
He knew that it was wrong of him to kiss her, though. Even though he was crazy about her, he knew that he was wrong. She was happy and she was with somebody else. And she was happy, and that should really be all that Zay wanted for her. But, he struggled with that, because it killed him to watch Maya be with somebody else, even though he knew that he should be happy for the girl of his dreams and his best friend.
And it wasn't like he had ever made a move to go after her, he couldn't bring himself to accept the facts that he was never going to be with her. He had been so afraid of ruining the friendship that they had had, even though it had never been that great, so he had backed off and allowed her to date Josh. To pine over Lucas.
And now she was with somebody else again and it looked like Zay was never going to get his chance with her.
Although, it wasn't like he had never made a move to go after her. When Josh was playing his game after their trip to the ski lodge, Zay had tried to ask her out. He had tried to tell her how he felt. And she had shut him down because all she could focus on was Joshua Matthews and the fact that he was finally giving her the time of day.
He was never going to be with Maya and he had to accept that.
But, he would never be able to do that unless he knew that he had made his feelings clear to her. So, he had kissed her and now he had ruined his friendship with Lucas and caused Maya to walk out of his life forever.
Everything that had always made New York City so great to him was gone now, because he had kissed Maya, just so that he could say that he had made every effort to try to be with her.
And now, he just had to wait until Lucas found out the truth about what had happened.