CHAPTER 37
Bruce felt an unaccustomed feeling: tongue-tied. Bruce Wayne, the socialite was facile and glib. Bruce Wayne the father...? Fortunately, the psychiatrist had no difficulty there.
"Hello. You must be Bruce Wayne. Leslie told me to expect your call," she replied, then her voice softened. "I understand that your son is having some difficulties?"
Difficulties. She called them difficulties. And she knows about our real relationship. Just how much did Leslie tell her?
He cleared his throat and took a sip of water from the glass of Evian at his elbow. "Just how much has Leslie told you about the situation?"
"She told me that this would be a very difficult situation, and when she told me what family I would be contacting I thought I understood. You want to avoid publicity, I imagine? I know that you have taken in several homeless boys over the years, but I'd read that you were just their guardian. The only one that you adopted..." He heard paper rustle. "Was Jason Todd, but I understand that he died a few years ago. Who is it you want me to see? Has there been a more recent adoption?"
He'd paid good money to hide Dick's adoption and was glad that she seemed unaware of it. But he knew that for any therapy to be effective, Dick would need to be honest with her, especially because of the nature of the situation. Oh, he didn't want to do this. Maybe they could still just give Dick some time to recover on his own...? He remembered Dick, banging his head desperately against the wall of his cell, blood running down his face, trying to silence the voices. He rubbed his eyes with one hand. He hoped that Leslie was right about this woman. The background checks were clean, but he had survived this long by not trusting anyone but the Family.
"Dr. Gold, I think we should meet in person to discuss this..." he faltered.
"Sure. My office is on Fifth Street," she began but he interrupted.
"No, you need to come out to the Manor. It isn't safe for Dick to be out in Gotham right now. His face is too well-known and there have been several threats against his life." Threats? It made him want to laugh and then cringe. The kid had piled up more death threats since he was outed than even Batman had ever gotten! Enemies of Robin, of Nightwing, of Officer Grayson, B.P.D and of Bruce Wayne's son had all popped out of the woodwork on this one! He'd given strict instructions to Alfred to keep this intel strictly between the two of them.
She didn't reply right away and he could almost hear her mind working. "Uh...your...um...'son'...wouldn't happen to be Richard Grayson, also known as Nightwing?"
She had clearly been watching the media and added two and two. He sighed; in for a penny, in for a pound. He cleared his throat again, glad that the line was secure. "We will discuss that in my study here, at Wayne Manor. When can you come over?"
"Actually, I'm free tomorrow afternoon," she said after another long pause. "How about 2:00?"
"That works very well," he replied.
"Mister Wayne," she said hesitantly. "Just what am I getting into here?"
"Another world, Dr. Gold, another world. We'll see you at 2:00."
After the call ended, he added the appointment to his calendar and sat in thought. He had been putting this off since they'd brought Dick in, but there was no avoiding it.
DICK'S BEDROOM
"Hi Bruce," Tim said when Bruce opened the door and poked his head in.
"How is he?" Bruce asked softly. "If Dick is asleep, I can come back."
"No, actually I'm sulking," A sullen voice came from the bed. "At least Barbara let me out of the restraints for a while. Timbo here seems to think I'm gonna jump out the window!"
"I'm not going to be the one that loses you this time," Tim said calmly, turning his tablet off. "Are you going to be sitting with him?"
"Yes, thank you, Tim. It's my turn," Bruce said easily and took Tim's place in the chair. After the door closed, he leaned forward. "So, how are you feeling?"
Dick deliberately closed his eyes and sank back against the pillows. "Everyone keeps asking me that and I always give the same answer: ' !"
"Okay, let's simplify this then," Bruce replied, examining Dick's body-language. "Are you still hearing voices? Do you feel out of control?"
"Not right now," Dick said, eyes opening again, but slowly and avoiding Bruce's gaze. "Of course, Tim and I've been watching Bugs Bunny all day and I'm dying for some carrots, but I don't feel like killing anybody just now."
"Not even yourself?" Bruce asked and watched Dick wince.
"I didn't want to kill myself, Bruce, I just wanted to shut the voices up. Especially his!" Dick's darting eyes finally caught Bruce's cool ones.
Bruce's eyebrows drew together. "You mean Thomas Wayne's?"
"No. Pennyworth's. If Thomas is twisted, it's because Pennyworth twisted him. That green-haired demon was the one who did most of the brainwashing. He dosed me with the drugs and it was his voice on the recordings. Mostly." Dick turned his face away. "I was stuck in a bed, held down by restraints, .these!" With each word he pulled both arms against the restraints, muscles straining in his arms, shoulders and neck. He gave up with a sigh and lay back against the bed again.
"I'm sorry, Dick, but we're worried about you," Bruce said, voice rumbling low. "This is a new situation for me."
"Yeah, I get that. We always had some kind of antidote to anything the Scarecrow or the Mad Hatter cooked up. Why can't we do something like that?" he asked hopefully.
His boy was sweating and his hair, always unruly, was a mess. Coupled with Dick's look of trust and appeal, he reminded Bruce of the newly orphaned child he'd tucked back into bed after nightmares. He'd been unable to prevent those, either.
"This isn't quite so simple, Dick," Bruce said. "You've had a lot of losses all at once, finished by Owlman's butler and the treatments they gave you. You don't feel quite stable yet, do you?" Tell me you feel fine and you can go out and beat the world! Tell me you're fine...Lie to me.
Dick's honest blue eyes wouldn't meet his. "No. I don't know what I'm capable of and who I'll be after all this. But I don't want to kill myself. Not right now, anyway."
"Promise you'll tell me first, if you need to shut down the voices again? Or if you feel like hurting yourself in any way?" Bruce asked.
"Yeah, I'll tell you first, Bruce. " Dick held up a wrist. "Trust me?"
Trust him? He'd trust him with his own life, with the safety of the Earth, with the entire Justice League's safety! Trust him not to hurt himself and destroy Bruce's world? That came harder. He needed to know more.
"Do you trust yourself? If you start thinking Talon thoughts, you come to me or Alfred too." Bruce laid a hand on Dick's wrist; the boy's pulse was racing.
Dick nodded. "I'll come to you. Just cut me loose, will ya?" Dick's eyes were just as blue as when he turned away from his murdered parents to first catch Bruce's gaze. Just as he had that day, Bruce wanted nothing more than to scoop him up, feed him and keep him safe.
"All right," He unlocked Dick's restraints, the wrists first and then the legs. As a precaution, he backed away from the bed in case it had been Talon he'd just spoken with.
Dick stretched and rolled himself upright, then climbed to his feet. A sudden dizzy spell hit him and he found a pair of strong arms supporting him. He shook them off and stood alone. " 'm okay," he said softly. "Gotta learn t' stand on my own two feet."
"Dick we'll always be here to support you," Bruce said, then added, "I will always be here to support you. Whenever you need me."
"Thanks, Bruce," Dick said. "So, what's the plan now?"
"Let's go downstairs. Alfred said he was going to brew some coffee and I think there are some fresh cookies. You look like you could stand to gain some weight," Bruce said, opening the door. He followed Dick out into the hall. "By the way, you are restricted to the manor and its grounds, including the cave. It isn't safe for you to be seen outside the manor walls."
The smirk that had begun to cross Dick's face faded. "Who?"
They took the stairs slowly, Bruce watching carefully to see if the vertigo returned, but they made it into the kitchen safely before he answered Dick's question. There were too many potential risks to list them all, especially not knowing Dick's present state of mind. He cleared his throat.
"Penguin, for one. He's gotten nervous since you 'killed' Two Face. He sees you as a threat to his life as well as his livelihood." Bruce said. "His humiliation at the hands of Owlman and Talon has increased his motivation. He's hired some out of town talent, I hear: Slade Wilson." And an entire host of others have gotten in line to take out what's left of you, Dick. Listen for once and stay here!
Dick jerked. "Deathstroke?"
Bruce pulled out a chair in the kitchen that still smelled warmly of cookies and gestured to Dick to sit down. Dick plunked himself into the chair, attention still on his mentor. Bruce grabbed the coffee pot and poured two big cups, sliding one in front of his son. He followed up with a plate of cookies. "Yes. I haven't isolated the source of the second contract but I don't discount it. For now, it's safer if you stay here."
"But Bruce, they'll come here first! Everyone knows about your interest in me. Heck, you raised me! I've gotta get out of here; you're all in danger!"
He started to rise but stopped when Bruce barked loudly, "Sit down! I've taken that into account. We have a full house and you will be defended, Dick. You are not leaving us, under any circumstances. Is that understood?" The two glared at each other until Dick broke away first. Quietly sighing with relief, Bruce went on. "Now eat your cookies."
A little smile cracked his son's face. "Yes sir!"
The room was quiet for a while except for the sound of munching. Trying to be casual, Bruce brought up the real reason for the conversation. "You had asked what the plan is now? First, you need some therapy."
Dick nodded. "Yeah, I know, PT to get back up to par. I don't think I've lost too much in my skills. Maybe more time with escrima.."
"That's not what I meant," Bruce said, cupping his coffee in both hands. "A doctor, recommended by Leslie, a...um...psychiatrist will be here tomorrow to take a look at you and..."
"A shrink? You called a shrink on me?" Dick shouted. "I'm not crazy and you know it! I just need some time and I'll be back to normal again...!"
"If you don't bash your brains out first because the voices get too loud," Bruce said grimly. "Or if you don't revert to the Talon personality and kill somebody." Just like you did before rang through the silent room.
"But, Babs said I didn't...I didn't kill Dent...I just thought I did," Dick rubbed at his suddenly watering eyes. Maybe she was wrong? Maybe she'd just said all that to make him feel better?
Bruce laid a gentle hand on his boy's wrist. . "No, Dick, you didn't kill anybody. Owlman just made you believe that you'd crossed the line to make your 'second' kill that much easier. I want to prevent either death, yours or someone else's. Leslie vouches for Dr. Gold. She's a psychiatrist, so she can deal with the psychotropic drugs already in your system as well as give you emotional and mental support. I've...ah...decided to give her full access to any information she needs. You are free to discuss anything you need to with her."
Bruce hadn't intended to do that. In fact, he'd planned to give Dick a list of strictures, secrets he wasn't allowed to address. But half an hour in the boy's company had changed his mind. Dick's pulse was racing even faster and he looked terrified, but was trying to hide it. His old life was gone beyond recall, he could never be Nightwing safely again and he knew it. His son had already seen more death than anyone so young ever should. Whatever Dr. Gold needed, she would have, if it helped Dick recover.
"You trust her that much?" Dick replied softly. "What if she gives everything away? What about your safety? The League? Everyone? Bruce, you shouldn't trust me with this responsibility... I don't want to be the one who gets you all killed. I already killed my friends in Chicago. All of them."
"You didn't kill them, son," Bruce grabbed the boy's other wrist, moving his hands up to hold his forearms tightly. "You couldn't resist the compulsion and you avoided giving them anything wherever possible. I know. I saw the recording. If it's all right with you, I'll monitor your visits with her. If I have any concerns, I'll cut it off. You will be safe and so will everyone you love." He paused, remembering a terrified nine year old who had lost everything in a single night. Dick's expression now mirrored his expression then. "I promise you, Dick. You will get better and it will be okay."
Dick looked up and met his eyes again. He gripped his mentor's forearms as well, hand over wrist. "I trust you, Bruce. I know you'll always catch me if I fall. Let's do this."
Of course, when Bruce called a meeting in the cave to discuss the plan, there was dissent. He explained the situation and his intent to allow Dick free rein to discuss anything he needed to, including bat-family secrets.
"So where is he? Why isn't he here?" Jason said, looking around as if Dick were hiding from them.
"He's in his room, sleeping. Alfred's with him," Bruce said. "We're hoping that we can normalize his sleep/wake periods."
"So, you're gonna let Dickiebird tell the nice shrink all our identities?" Jason demanded hotly. "It's fine for him. He doesn't have any secrets left to protect-except ours! And he isn't even here to persuade us! I don't want to be hung out to dry on global television just like..."
"Just like what happened to Dick?" Tim said quietly, arms folded over chest. "How many times has he saved your bacon, Todd? Five, maybe six times? The only reason you aren't behind bars right now is because Dick spoke for you when Bruce was ready to throw the key away. I say he can say anything about me he wants to, up to and including my full name and current address!"
Bruce half smiled at Tim. The kid had always been loyal, especially to Dick. "I hoped you'd feel that way, Tim. How about you, Barbara?"
She bit her lip. Her privacy was something she cherished, but her secrets had never kept her out of the line of fire. "Anything he wants to tell about me, he can. The Joker never knew I was Batgirl, but he shot me anyway. There are a lot of people who already know who I am, so this doesn't make any difference. And...and anything that I can do to help him, I'm willing to do."
"Well," said Jason. "That's just peachy for everybody! I might've known that Bruce would do anything for his perfect son, even destroy the rest of his family. Well, you can't sacrifice me for the golden boy, Bruce! Not this time. My secrets are my own and nobody else is invited to share 'em. Be sure that Dickiebird knows it, too!" With that, he stalked out of the cave.
Bruce sighed and shook his head. "All right, I'm grateful for all the help you two have volunteered and I'll be sure that Dick knows about Jason's limitations."
"Bruce? D'you think it will work?" Tim asked. "Dick seems so...so broken, somehow."
"I hope so, Tim," Bruce said. "I surely hope so."