Me: We have named him Christian. That is all.

Fang: No, it's not. We're returning him.

Me: -sighs- To make a long story short, mine and Fang's baby exists! It's all in my other story, A Day in Therapy. I'd tell you all about it here, but I'm too lazy, so go read it there.

Fang: How lazy of you.

Me: I have a headache.

Fang: So you're updating fanfiction while you have a headache...why?

Me: Because I want it updated!

Fang: You make no sense.

Me: Neither do you, no one cares, I'm not in an A/N writing mood, so start the damn chapter!

Fang: Wow....Bitchiness....

Me: -whacks-

Iggy's POV

I can't say I was exactly pleased about sleeping in the same room as Fang again. I mean, last time we shared a room, he'd gotten food poisoning. What's next? Tuberculosis?

Miraculously, though, we made it through the night without any terrible illnesses. The only thing that woke me up was when I heard Nudge and Ella laughing loudly from Ella's room. I just stuffed my pillow over my head. I probably didn't want to know.

I woke up around 8 in the morning, automatically checking on my roomate. "Fang? You ok?"

He made some kind of annoyed groaning sound and I heard him shift around on his mattress. Yeah, he's fine.

I pulled myself out of bed, deciding to go get myself something for breakfast. I was actually starting to feel a lot better, at least less itchy. I guess I'd be ready for that dance Ella was taking me to.

I walked out to the kitchen, deciding to try and make waffles or something. No way was I making eggs.

"Morning, Ig."

"Oh, hey, Max." I said, feeling around for a waffle iron. "Hungry?"

"Yeah..."

"I'm feeling better and I'm in the mood to cook. I could make you something."

"Alright, Ig. How about......Celery?"

"Celery? For breakfast?"

I thought I heard her start to laugh, but I wasn't sure. "Well, Iggy, I know you, of all people, don't have anything against celery."

"No...."

"Alright, Ig, I'll just leave you and the celery alone while I go wake up the others." I heard her walk out.

Ok, did Max get into the NyQuil now? I just shook my head and went back to trying to make waffles. Who knows, maybe I was having another weird dream.

I had just prepared myself for Darth Vader to walk into the kitchen and demand waffles, but then Nudge walked in instead, yawning. "Mornin' Iggy."

"Morning, Nudge. Waffles?"

"You're making food again?"

I shrugged. "Yeah, I'm feeling better. So, waffles?"

"Hey, can you make them in different shapes?"

I shrugged again. "I can try...What do you want?"

"Celery-shaped."

I stopped myself from dropping the waffle iron I had just found. "Celery-shaped. Nudge, is there-"

"Max is calling me! I'll be back!" She ran off down the hall.

"Nudge, Max is not calling you, get back here!" She was already gone. What was going on around here?

I heard some footsteps entering the kitchen, then, the refrigerator door opened.

"Ummm...Hello? Clueless blind kid wants to know who just walked in on him."

"Oh, sorry, Iggy!"

"Hey, Gazzy. What are you up to?"

"I'm gathering materials for the best bomb ever!"

I grinned. "You gonna let me in on it?"

"...Maybe." He shut the fridge door and headed out.

"Hey, what kind of bomb is it, anyway?" I asked, curious.

"A celery bomb." He raced down the hall.

I slammed the waffle iron down. "What the heck is going on around here?!"

"I don't know, but if you break my Mom's waffle iron, you're dead."

I nearly jumped. "Ella! Morning!"

"Morning, Iggy. Did I scare you?"

I nodded. "A bit. Are you getting ninja lessons from Fang or something?"

"No." She said, laughing. "So, cooking again?"

"Yeah, I've been trying to make waffles."

"You need some help?"

"Sure."

In no time, Ella and I had waffles for the entire gang. We even made a couple for Fang, in case he was hungry.

It wasn't long before the Flock and Dr. Martinez started filing in, following the smell of waffles wafting from the kitchen.

"I think we've missed your cooking, Iggy." Dr. Martinez said. "Do you think you'll be up to cooking anything else?"

I shrugged. "Sure. Anyone have any requests?"

There was a long silence.

"Guys, what?"

"CELERY!" the Flock and Ella all said.

I jumped backward. "Ok, that's it. WHAT'S WITH THE FLIPPING CELERY?!"

At this point, no one was able to answer me. They were all laughing to hard.

"Guys!"

"B-blog!" Ella finally got out.

"Blog? As in Fang's Blog?" I asked.

She just nodded.

I turned to Dr. Martinez. "Dr. M, would you mind reading me the last blog entry?"

I heard her get up. "I'll go get my laptop. I'm just as curious as you are..."

Fang's POV

"Fang, could you hold Janet for a little while?"

Iggy was really starting to piss me off. "Ig, I don't know where you got that baby, but it's not mine!"

Iggy turned around. He looked ready to cry. "Why must you be so cruel to us?!" He yelled, bursting into tears and hugging the baby tighter.

"Daddy, why don't you love us?" Justin asked, hugging my leg.

"Look, I'm not your daddy, ok kid?" I said, trying to pull away. I turned to Pooky. "Pooky, some help here?"

He just shrugged at me and continued to play chess with a Chinese guy.

"Some help you are!" I yelled.

"Fang!"

"What, Ig? I'm right here! Does Janet need to be changed or something?"

"FANG!!"

I shot up. I really need to do something about these weird dreams I'd been having. "Iggy?"

Iggy dove onto my mattress and grabbed my shirt. "Do you just like torturing me?"

I shrugged. "Yeah, it can be fun. Why?"

"Celery."

"Celery?"

"Celery."

"Salary?"

"Celery!"

My still half-asleep mind finally realized what he was talking about. "Oh, the blog!" I started laughing. "That was great..."

"It was not!" He said, shaking me.

"Yo, Ig, I wouldn't do that. It's still possible I might throw up on you."

He immediately let go of my shirt, but didn't move from where he sat. "I'm not amused, Fang."

"Why not? It was funny..."

"For you."

I rolled my eyes. "Iggy, it was just a stupid joke. You don't have to get all bent out of shape over it."

"Well, it was embarrassing."

"Iggy, how was it embarrassing?"

"...Ella read it."

I will not laugh. I will try to be understanding. Supportive. I will apologize. I will not laugh.

Oh, hell.

"Shut up, Fang!"

"Ella s-saw it!"

"It was embarrassing!"

"Did she agree to wear the celery costume?"

Suddenly, something hard slammed into the side of my head, knocking me back onto my mattress. I looked up from where I'd fallen at a very angry Iggy.

"Did you just hit me?"

"You don't know when to shut up, do you? What happened to you being the 'dark and silent' one?"

I glared at him. "It was a stupid, freaking joke! GET OVER IT!"

"How about you get a life?"

Ok, my head still hurt from where I'd been hit, he was standing over me like some angry God of War, and I was officially pissed off. I jumped up from where I was lying and whacked him in the head myself.

"HEY!"

"You asked for it!"

He swung his arm around to hit me again, but I dodged it this time, kicking him in the stomach.

He doubled over, but somehow still managed to punch me in the arm.

In moments, we had rolled onto the floor and were beating the crap out of each other. We probably would've eventually knocked each other out if Dr. Martinez and Max hadn't come in and dragged us apart.

Dr. Martinez sighed. "I think it's time Fang had his own room back."

Fang: I would've totally beaten him.

Me: I wouldn't bet on that....

Fang: And why not?

Me: Fang, if he'd been carrying a bomb in one of his pockets, and you hit it....

Fang: Yeah...Maybe not.

Me: BOOM!

Fang: -rolls eyes- Iggy's moody in this one.

Me: Well, it could be because of Janet.

Fang: -sighs- Why do you twist everything around to have something to do with my nonexistent illegitemate children?

Me: To piss you off.

Fang: It's working.

Me: I know.

Fang: Rawr.

Me: -bites-

Fang: OW! Will you stop it with the 'love bites'?!?!

Me:.....No.

CELERY!! (Or R&R, whichever you prefer. I prefer R&R, but that's just me.)

P.S. If you haven't yet heard about my petition against Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson playing Max and Fang, go check it out! There's a link on my profile! Sign it! By the way, you have to have an e-mail address to sign the petition, but if you'd like to sign it, but don't have an e-mail address, just tell me and I'll sign it in your name. Thanks!