Author's Note: I have suddenly realized that I know many of you both on and on Twitter, the only problem is that I don't know exactly who is who. So, if you follow me on Twitter and read/review me on here, PM me with your Twitter name so I know who you are on ! LOL. Sorry, I am kind of a dork. Anyway, I have been trying to go back and update some stories that I had not updated in a while. It had been almost a year for this one, so I'd say it's about time. You have SVUjunkie2011 (sorry, I am not completely sure what her fanfiction screen name is) to thank for this one! Thanks for checking it out! You guys are AWESOME!
~ Detective Olivia Stabler ~
In Too Deep
(Chapter Thirty Eight: Family Is Everything)
Olivia lowered her newborn son into the bassinette as Eliot slipped his arms tight around her waist.
"How's he doing?" he asked resting his chin against her shoulder.
"I think he is wore out from seeing everyone on his first day home."
"It wasn't everybody, Liv. It was just the kids."
"Yea, but it has been a very big day for our little guy. And tomorrow will be even bigger."
"Are you sure we should still do this?"
"Elliot, we have already invited everyone. It is Christmas."
"I know, but when we invited everyone for dinner we thought that Ryder would still be in the NICU. I didn't know he would be around all of these people so soon. What if exposing him to all of these people is a bad thing? I mean, what if everyone is all excited to come over and see the new baby and they make him sick? Everyone is gonna want to touch him, Liv. Hold him and pass him around. His little immune system is still so fragile, what if he ends up in the hospital again?"
"Okay, slow down for a minute," she said turning off the lamp as they stepped out into the hall to allow their son to nap. "The doctor said he was fine. I even asked him about having Ryder around new people and he said that as long as no one is sick, he should be alright. I have plenty of that hand sanitizer gel and we will just make sure everyone uses it before they hold the baby."
"I don't know, Liv. It just seems so risky."
She smiled at the over protective new father. Somehow she found it adorable just how much he worried about their new baby boy.
"I worry about him too, El. But you heard what that doctor said. If we don't ever expose him to anyone or anything then he will never develop immunities to anything."
"I understand that. I just think that maybe being around all of our friends and family at once and being passed around like that is just a little much for such a small baby."
"Well, he sleeps most of the time. I can just move him down the hall to the bassinette in our room when he is sleeping. That will help cut back on the time people are holding him. And once everyone has had their chance to meet Ryder, you and I can kind of keep a hold of him. I agree that we should be careful how we approach this, but surely our friends can understand our concern for the health of our premature infant. Maybe we are just over thinking it."
"Are we wrong to want to protect him?"
"No. I just think maybe we should trust our instincts. We're his parents. If it feels alright, then it probably is. But if we reach a point where he gets fussy or either of us feel like it is too much on him, then we will just let everyone know that's enough. This all still so new. For him and for us."
"I know everyone is just excited to finally get to meet him. No one but the kids have seen him outside of the hospital yet. And I don't mean to sound like the bad guy here. I am excited for our friends to be able to see Ryder, but it is only his second day home from the hospital. I just worry, you know? With the complications during your pregnancy and him being born premature, then spending six weeks in the hospital before we could even bring him home. Plus it is December, it's about seven degrees outside and it is cold and flu season."
"I know," she said with a soft smile. "I will call everyone tonight and cancel if you want to, if you really think it will be too much on him."
"I don't want to be the party pooper."
"You're not. You are a concerned parent who is trying to be realistic about the dangers to our newborn."
"But you don't really want to cancel?" he asked kissing her tenderly.
"We already invited everyone. We have all of this food. This is our first big event to host in the new house and it's Christmas. But it isn't only my decision. We are both his parents and it is important to me that we make these choices together, that we decide together what is best for our baby. Our friends will understand. If you really feel strongly that this is a bad idea, we will cancel. We will have a small dinner here, just family. You, me, Ryder and the kids."
"You, me, Ryder and five other kids," Elliot said with a smile. "That is seven people he will be around anyway. What's a few more?" he replied kissing the tip of her nose. "We will just really push the hand sanitizer issue and try to make sure he isn't being carried around the entire time."
"Are you sure?"
"Yea. He might just be a little guy, but this is a great big world. A big world full of friends and family who love him very much. Friends and family he will be around his entire life. So he might as well start getting used to them all now."
Olivia smiled, trying hard to contain her excitement. That night Ryder woke her up to be fed, then didn't seem to want to go back to sleep. She cradled the little boy in her arms and moved into the living room with him to keep from waking Elliot.
"You see the pretty lights, don't you?" she whispered softly as the baby stared at the Christmas tree. "Tomorrow is your first Christmas."
Ryder fussed a little and stared up at her.
"Do you see this ornament right here?" she asked holding him at an angle to show him a little blue porcelain carousel embossed with white horses. The banner across the top read 'Baby's First Christmas' and Ryder's name and birth date had been hand painted on it as well. "That is something special that your big brothers and sisters picked out just for you."
Olivia twisted the bottom of the ornament in her fingertips as it began to chime a soft music box type version of 'Silent Night.'
"Isn't that pretty?"
She smiled, watching as her son opened his little eyes wide in an attempt to take in all of the sights and sounds at once.
"He is on a sensory overload," Elliot said from behind her.
"I'm sorry we woke you daddy. We were trying to be quiet."
Elliot stepped in and kissed his wife tenderly.
"You didn't wake me. I got up to go to the bathroom and noticed you weren't in bed. I thought I'd see if you wanted to trade shifts and get some rest. We all have a big day tomorrow."
"Someone is too excited about his first Christmas to sleep," she whispered as Elliot took the baby from her.
"Now listen son, Santa won't come if you don't go to sleep."
Ryder grunted in protest and stared at his father.
"And there are a lot of people who are excited to get to come and see you tomorrow, so you should probably get some rest. Mommy and I have to get up early in the morning and start cooking dinner. Around noon your brothers and sisters will be here and they will want to play with you. You have a pretty big day tomorrow, buddy. You should get some sleep tonight. Tomorrow, daddy will show you the ropes with this Christmas thing. You are the little guy and you really have that going for you, I have a feeling you are going to make out like a bandit. I'll bet I counted a dozen gifts under that tree with your name on them. Daddy will show you how to carve the perfect turkey and I might even be able to sneak you a taste of a candy cane."
"Elliot!"
"We'll have to wait until mommy's not looking," Elliot whispered as the baby yawned. "But we can't do any of this if you don't get your rest tonight."
"Maybe I should see if he will nurse a little more. We've been up almost two hours. If I put him down now he will be up in thirty minutes or so wanting to be fed again," Olivia whispered as Elliot handed Ryder to her.
He watched as she unbuttoned her gown and raised the baby boy to her breast. Elliot unplugged the Christmas tree as she carried the baby back to the bedroom and finished feeding him. Fifteen minutes later Ryder was sound asleep once more and mommy and daddy were curled up in each other's arms.
The next morning they awoke to see a freshly fallen blanket of snow covering their entire yard. Olivia stood at the window with Ryder watching as Elliot shoveled salted the walkway making it safe for their guests.
"How deep is it?" Olivia asked as Elliot stood in the garage stomping his boots to knock the snow off before entering the house.
"I'd say we got a good five to six inches."
"Just enough for a good snowman," she said with a smile and he could tell she was aching to get out and play in the snow.
"Or a snowball fight," he replied. "I just hope this doesn't ruin the big surprise for the kids."
"Do you think it will?"
"Well," he replied wrapping his arms around her and kissing her tenderly under the mistletoe, "it is something that has been on at least one Christmas list for over ten years now. I figure they have waited just long enough to fool everyone into thinking they that it will never happen."
She smiled.
"They are going to be so excited! I'm excited! I can't wait to watch them open the big box and see the looks on their faces. I just hope that we didn't get in over our heads."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, with the new baby and all. You don't think it will be too much?"
"I think it will be just fine," he replied with a proud smile. "It had better be for what it cost. I researched for months to find exactly what we wanted. Then drove over four hours each way and spent over a fifteen hundred dollars. It'd better not be too much."
Olivia laughed.
"You are right. I am sure it will be fine. Where did you put the big box anyway?" she asked not noticing it near the tree.
"I hid it out in the garage."
"Saving the best for last?"
"No, we got the best first," he replied kissing the baby I her arms. "It smells wonderful in here."
"The turkey will be ready in about three hours. The girls wanted to help with the pies and sides, so we will get those started here in a few minutes when they get here."
"Do you think everything will be ready by three?"
"Oh, I will make sure it is. Did you bring up the wine from the basement?"
"You mean our wine cellar?" he joked.
Olivia laughed.
"Hey, this is serious business. I have not had a glass of wine in months," she said pointing to her son in his bouncy seat on the kitchen counter. "I have already pumped so that I can enjoy a glass with dinner without bothering him. This is the part of Christmas dinner I have been counting down to."
"Well, I've got ten bottles. So we should have plenty."
"Unless your bride gets thirsty," she said with a smile.
"My wife the wino," Elliot joked kissing her once more. "It is chilling in the garage."
"This is exciting. Having our first big Christmas dinner in our new house with all of our family and friends. I thought maybe this evening, after gifts and dinner I can lay Ryder down for a while and we can all go outside and enjoy the snow together. I can take the monitor out to listen for him. Then we can all come in and make hot cocoa and popcorn and lay around in our pajamas watching Christmas movies to get warmed up."
"That sounds like fun."
Olivia smiled.
"I thought maybe if the kids enjoyed it, we could do it every year. Weather permitting, of course. I would like to start some of our own holiday traditions with the kids. Like last night when we made cookies together as a family. Everyone was laughing and we had a great time. Then we played board games…."
"And ate the cookies. That was my favorite part."
Olivia smiled.
"I never had family get-togethers or siblings to play in the snow with when I was growing up. It was just me and my mom. The closest thing we had to a Christmas tradition was eating TV dinners while watching the annual rerun of Miracle on 34th Street. And half the time she was either too busy to do that with me or too drunk to notice it was on and she passed out in the first ten minutes. I want these things with us, with our family. I want us to make traditions that we do as a family, all of us. No matter how old, or young we are," she said rolling her eyes around to look at their now sleeping baby.
"I think that's great."
"You do?"
"Yea. That is half of what makes Christmas so magical. Being with the people you love. Spending time together. I think setting family traditions is a great idea."
Elliot hugged her and held her tight.
"I am sorry that childhood was so rough for you. But you are part of the Stabler family now. And Stabler's are never alone," he said with a smile. "There are too many of us to ever be alone. And we are always here for each other no matter what, because family is everything. We all love you so much. And this last year and a half since you finally became my wife, have been the best year and a half of my life. I could not imagine my life without you and our beautiful son in it. And I promise that I will do my best to make each and every one of our Stabler family holidays the absolute best that it can be. And we will fill them with our family traditions."
"You are the best friend and husband that a girl could ever ask for," she whispered as he placed a soft kiss against her lips.
"I love you, baby."
"I love you, too."
Just then the front door flew open and five noisy children came piling in waking the baby.
"Easy guys, your brother was sleeping."
"Sorry dad," Elizabeth said sliding up to the bar to steal a Christmas cookie from the decorative plate.
Olivia scooped Ryder up in her arms and patted him gently on the back to sooth his cries.
"Sorry, Ryder," Elizabeth whispered.
"It's okay, honey," Olivia assured her. "It is about time for me to feed him again anyway. He would have woke up on his own here in a few minutes. Why don't you ladies go ahead and get washed up and you can get started if you want. I'll join you in about fifteen minutes or so when I am finished feeding your brother."
"We are all going to have to get used to there being a baby around again and start using our inside voices," Elliot reminded them.
"When is everyone supposed to be here, Liv?" Maureen asked.
"We told everyone we would have dinner at four. I'd say people will probably start arriving around three thirty."
"Dad, do we get to open our gifts before or after dinner?" Dickie inquired.
"Liv and I were thinking that we could go ahead and open gifts as a family before our guests arrive."
"After I get Ryder settled and the pies are in the oven, we can all gather around the tree for our gift exchange," Olivia explained.
"Cool," Dickie said moving to the counter to help his sisters get things done faster.
Olivia fed the baby, then got him cleaned up. She changed Ryder into the Christmas onesie Elliot had picked out for him. It was a tiny little sleeper that bore a striking resemblance to a Santa sit complete with a matching Santa hat.
"Daddy did good," Olivia said with a smile. "You look adorable, son. Oh, we can't forget your bib. We don't want to have any accidents before our guests arrive."
She picked the baby up and laid him against her shoulder. Ryder nestled his little head in against the curve of her neck.
"You are so handsome. You look just like your daddy. Yes you do," she cooed cradling him in her arms and kissing him on the forehead as she slipped the pacifier into his little mouth. "Do you want to come into the kitchen and supervise while we make dinner?"
Ryder did just that, watching patiently from his bouncy seat at the end of the counter between cat naps.
The kids were excited as they opened their gifts. Clothes, make up, gift cards, cash and new lap tops all around. It was a very eventful afternoon. Olivia carried all of Ryder's new toys and clothes down the hall and put them away in the nursery just before their friends began to arrive.
Fin and his new girlfriend, Munch and one of his ex-wives, Melinda Warner with her husband and daughter, Casey and the new guy from her office and of course Captain Cragen. Everyone gushed over the tiny little addition to the Stabler brood and they were all careful to wash up before holding the doll like child.
"It has been a couple of weeks since I have seen him," Cragen noted. "He has gotten so big."
"I think he is the smallest baby I have ever seen," Elizabeth replied.
"He is almost up to six pounds now, sissy," Olivia informed her. "And he is perfectly healthy."
"He is a strong little guy," Casey said with a smile.
"Of course he is. He's a Stabler," Elliot said proudly. "But we have been very lucky. And we are very thankful that he has done so well."
"When Ryder was first born, the doctors told us that it would be at least three months before we would be able to bring him home. He was so early and small that they were very concerned about him. Six weeks later, they came back in and said they had decided to go ahead and discharge him because he was doing so well and they needed the space for sick babies."
"That's amazing," Fin said.
At dinner, Elliot led them all in a prayer and Olivia cradled Ryder in her arms and they all watched as he carved the turkey. A few minutes in, Olivia excused herself to lay her son down for another nap then returned to finish her meal.
After all the guests had gone home for the evening, the kids did the dishes. Later they were all sitting around the living room playing with their new computers when Elliot asked Olivia to help him carry the remaining bottles of wine out to put them into the garage refrigerator.
She smiled as she handed Ryder off to Kathleen and followed Elliot from the room.
"Are you ready for a lot of screaming?" he asked as he placed the lid on the top of the box and she tied a perfect bow in the ribbon.
"Why don't I get the door for you? Then you can stand in the kitchen for a moment while I remove our newborn from ground zero?"
"Good thinking," Elliot replied following her into the house with the box.
Olivia moved back into the living room and picked the baby up.
"Hey guys, dad and I found something in the garage we think you should take a look at," she said as the five older children followed her back into the kitchen.
"Another present?" Eli asked. "Who is it for, daddy?"
"It is actually a group gift. For all of you from Olivia and I. This is your big gift this year. We put a lot of thought and work into this one. Go ahead," he said sitting the box in the floor and backing away to Olivia's side.
They watched as Maureen pulled Eli closer so he could get a better look and they all gathered around the box.
"We should shake it to find out what it is," Dickie said.
"Don't shake it!" Elliot and Olivia said in unison.
"Just open it," Olivia encouraged them.
They watched as a smile crossed each of their faces and the group began ripping paper and untying ribbon. Inside that huge box was a smaller box. And inside that box, another box.
The kids were really starting to get antsy by the time they reached the fifth and final box.
"Here we go guys," Kathleen said pulling the ribbon and removing the lid.
"Oh, my gosh!" Elizabeth nearly screamed.
"They are so cute!" Maureen replied reaching into the box to pull out a small Black Lab puppy with a big red bow around its neck and holding it for Eli to see.
"Awesome," Dickie said picking up the yellow pup and hugging it. "I thought you didn't like dogs."
"I don't dislike dogs. We were never really in a place where we could have a dog. The old house just wasn't big enough. And you guys were not old enough to handle the responsibility. But we are in the new house now and have a much bigger yard. I do expect you guys to do your part to take care of them when you are here. Feeding them and walking them, cleaning up after them…all of you."
"We will dad," Elizabeth assured him. "Are they boys or girls."
"The black one is a boy and the yellow one is a girl."
"Are they brother and sister?" Kathleen asked.
"They are from the same kennel, but two different litters," Olivia informed them.
"So they can be boyfriend and girlfriend and have puppies?" Elizabeth asked.
"I don't know about puppies," Olivia replied. "I think maybe two big dogs is enough."
"And part of the responsibility of owning a pet is having it spayed or neutered," Elliot commented.
"What is that?" she asked.
"That means having them fixed so they don't have any babies," Maureen explained.
"Oh. But why?"
"Because it is healthier for the pet. For many animals it actually increases their life span and it prevents there being too many puppies that don't have homes or families to take care of them," Elliot said.
"If it makes them healthier, I think we should do it."
"Oh trust me, we will," he agreed.
"You guys did a really good job with this gift," Elizabeth giggled as the female puppy licked her in the face.
"We did a lot of research to figure out what kind of dogs we wanted. And we drove a long way to find someone who had a good reputation for selling healthy dogs. They had two litters of puppies ready to go. Olivia actually picked these two out."
"You did a good job, Liv. They are so sweet," Maureen said straightening the green bow on the yellow puppy's neck.
"I also got a fence and the stuff to put a doggy door from the garage into their own section of the back yard. But then it snowed and everything is frozen now so it might be a little while before we can get that put up. So for now, you guys will have to take turns taking them outside to use the bathroom so we don't have any accidents in the house."
"Can we go outside and play with them now?" Dickie asked.
"Sure," Elliot said with a smile. "You guys go ahead. I am gonna stay in here and help Liv get Ryder down and we will be out in a little while."
"You guys will play with us, daddy?" Eli asked.
"Oh, course we will, son. But your baby brother is too little to go outside to play right now, so he has to take a nap."
Elliot watched as the older kids bundled up and took their new friends out into the back yard to play. He made his way down the hall and into their bedroom where his wife sat on the edge of the bed nursing Ryder.
"Well, you were right," he said kissing the top of her head. "He survived his first Christmas just fine."
"He was a hit," she replied with a smile as she lowered the child into his bassinet. "But not quite as big a hit as the gifts in the big box."
"I knew they would be excited. They are out there now trying out names for the new puppies. All in all I think it was a pretty good Christmas."
"It was," she agreed with a yawn.
Elliot watched as she stepped out of the dress she's wore for dinner and dressed in jeans and a sweater to go outside with the kids.
"You know, technically it is still Christmas for another six hours," he said checking his watch.
"Yea?" she mumbled only half paying attention to what he was saying.
"And Santa might still have a few tricks up his sleeve."
Olivia removed her earring dropping it into a jewelry box on the vanity as he offered her a small black box with a red ribbon.
"What is this?" she asked with a smile.
"It's special. I wanted to save this one until we could be alone."
She smiled and untied the bow.
"It's not gonna jump out at me is it?" she asked jokingly then lifted the lid from the box.
"It's nothing like that."
"Oh, El. It is beautiful."
Elliot watched as she pulled the hart shaped pendant from the box to get a closer look at it.
"Are they…?"
"They are blue diamonds. Something special to celebrate our first Christmas with our little man."
"I love it," she gasped with a smile. "I want to put it on, but I'm afraid I will lose it in the snow."
"Probably ought to wait and wear it tomorrow," he suggested.
"Tonight when we come back inside," she corrected him. "Thank you," she said throwing her arms around his neck and kissing him.
"Thank you. For making this family complete," he said with a nod toward bassinet. "And for giving me the best gift ever."
Elliot pulled her into his arms and just held her for a moment.
"I love you so much," she whispered softly.
"I love you too, darlin."
"We'd better get outside before all of the good snow is trampled."
"Or has puppy poop in it," Elliot joked helping her up as Olivia grabbed the baby monitor and they headed out of the room.