Part Thirty Eight – Breaking Point
By the time that the next full moon approached Remus had come to the conclusion that Sirius was like a dog with a bone.
He asked about Remus's grandmother at least twice a day and Remus was finding it harder and harder to lie.
On the day before he was due to be collected from class by Professor McGonagall he actually lost his temper.
"Would you give it a ruddy rest," Remus snapped after Sirius had asked if he'd heard anything from home for the fourth time that day. "I've not heard anything at all and I'd tell you if I had."
Sirius stepped back as though he'd been slapped. Remus felt a flash of momentary guilt but forced himself to ignore it. The only way that Sirius would be satisfied was if he knew the truth and since he wasn't allowed to tell him, the other boy had to figure it out for himself.
Nearly as irritating as Sirius's constant questions was Lily and her persistent apologies for what she'd let Sirius and Severus overhear.
He had told her again and again, sometimes snapping quite harshly, that it wasn't her fault. He should have been taking more notice of who was nearby whilst they were speaking. He was just thankful that Severus wasn't questioning him either. In fact it seemed as though the other boy had far more on his mind than Remus's secret.
When he came across him heading towards Hagrid's hut on Sunday evening he'd been torn between asking the boy what was bothering him and leaving him to his own devices.
In the end he decided not to approach Severus. Having gone through so many rebuffs from the other boy Remus was now reluctant to make the first move to try to be friends. He didn't approve of the way James and Sirius continued to call him names and tease him, but he no longer made the effort to act as a buffer.
Now, as he watched Sirius gather his books and move across the room to where James was making a half-hearted attempt at his homework, he wondered if he might be losing the only friends he'd made…and all because of his secret.
"Remus Lupin!"
Remus looked up at the sound of his name and saw Professor McGonagall standing in at the entrance to the common room.
"If I might have a word," she said as she waved him over and out of the room.
Remus nodded before looking to where Sirius and James were looking at him with blatant suspicion.
He tried his best to ignore them as left the common room and followed Professor McGonagall to her office wondering why he'd been pulled out of the common room a day early. For one awful moment he wondered if perhaps there was some real emergency at home this time.
"I'm sure you know why you're here," McGonagall said, waving Remus to a seat.
Remus shook his head in confusion.
"You haven't been following the lunar chart any further ahead than the next full moon?" she asked quietly.
Remus shook his head. He hated thinking about the coming full moon at all, and he certainly never thought of the one following that one. He wondered now if it was because he was secretly hoping that a cure might be found if he didn't look too far ahead. Then there would be no point in planning his incarceration in several months time.
"Well," McGonagall explained. "In June the full moon will fall in the middle of the week. Unfortunately it will be in the middle of exam week for the first year students."
"Oh." Remus didn't know what to say to her announcement. He didn't set the examination timetable for the students and he certainly had no control over the lunar cycle. He wasn't sure what it was Professor McGonagall was expecting him to say.
"Unfortunately you will still have to sit your exams," McGonagall said with a friendly smile. "I know you'll be sorry to hear that we can't make allowances for you to skip them."
Remus smiled dutifully at her attempt at humour. "I don't suppose I get extra time to study?" he asked with a smile of his own.
"For one of them yes," McGonagall confirmed. "The other two, I'm afraid you'll have to sit during the weekend before the full moon. Since you will be losing study time on two exams and gaining on the third Professor Dumbledore has decided to make it your choice as to which exams you take early and which one late."
"Can I get extra time to study for Charms?" Remus asked hopefully, knowing that it was the subject he was falling behind on the most.
"Unfortunately that exam is on the Monday so you'll be able to take that with the rest of the year. The ones that you…er…clash with are Transfiguration, Potions and History of Magic."
"Can I have extra time for Transfiguration?" Remus asked cautiously, knowing that the Professor sitting opposite him was well aware of his struggles in the subject.
"I thought that might be your decision," McGonagall said with a smile. "I'll let Professors Binns and Slughorn know to have your papers ready for their examinations early. Now you'd better return to your classmates before they start wondering if you've gone home again."
"They won't be surprised if I do," Remus said. "They think my grandmother's illness has taken a turn for the worse."
"In that case I'll be sure to use that excuse when I call you out of class tomorrow afternoon," McGonagall said. "I'm glad to see you're finally getting used to all this and that it isn't causing too much trouble with your friends."
Remus opened his mouth to speak but was hesitant to say anything.
"It isn't causing trouble with your friends, is it?" McGonagall questioned when she saw his expression.
"No Professor," Remus replied quietly as he let himself out of the room.
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Remus arrived back in the common room a short while later and knew instantly that his ears should have been burning in his absence.
"I'm telling you there's something odd going on," James was saying. "I've never heard of anyone being called out of school as frequently as Remus and he always looks awful when he comes back."
James and Sirius were sat at one of the tables with their backs towards the door. Remus coughed to make his presence known and both boys jumped at the sound.
"Remus, what are you doing here?" Sirius asked. "We thought you'd gone again."
"No such luck," Remus joked weakly. "You can't get rid of me that easy and I can't get out of our Charms test tomorrow either."
"I'd rather get out of the Transfiguration class on Tuesday," James muttered. "I'm sure I'm going to fail this one."
Remus snorted. "You're top of the class and you know it, so stop fishing for any more compliments and help me study for Charms."
James grinned at the compliment as he complied with the request.
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The following afternoon Remus found himself summoned from Herbology and tried to force himself to look at least slightly surprised.
He heard the muttering between James and Sirius as he gathered his things together and was sure he caught a sarcastic "what a surprise" from one of the boys.
Lily had also noticed him leaving and made sure to call after him that she would be sure to take notes for his classes.
Remus smiled as James and Sirius heard her and told her not to bother, that they had the matter well in hand. He silently hoped that Lily ignored them. Her notes were certainly going to be better than anything his friends produced.
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When Remus finally returned to the school at the end of the week he found no less than four sets of notes for his missed lessons. The notes from James and Sirius were the best they'd produced yet and Lily's were wonderfully concise as usual. He even found that Peter had done notes for Astronomy, the lesson James and Sirius persistently messed around in.
He felt tears coming as he looked at the pile of parchment in front of him and regretted his earlier temper with his friends.
Feeling guilty he rummaged round in his bag for the stack of sweets his parents had sent the weekend before. He soon tracked down Lily and gave her first choice of the confectionery before setting out to find the rest of his friends so that he could let them loose on the rest.
Only two more full moons to go before the end of the school year. Remus breathed a sigh of relief that the end was in sight but wondered how he would ever manage another six years like this one.
He finally tracked down his friends in the hospital wing. James was scowling in one of the beds whilst Sirius and Peter were sat on either side of him with equally annoyed expressions on their faces.
Madam Pomfrey hurried towards him as soon as he stepped through the door. "Is something wrong Remus? Did you forget something?"
"No," Remus replied with a nervous glance at his friends who had spotted his arrival but were thankfully out of earshot. "I'm just here to see my friends."
Madam Pomfrey nodded and waved him across to the bed. "Just five more minutes," she warned.
"What was that all about?" James asked with a nod to the healer.
"I think she thought Remus was ill," Sirius said knowingly. "He certainly looks it."
"Thanks mate," Remus muttered. "So what happened to our fearless leader this time?"
"Snivellus," James complained before he dove into the sweets that Remus had dumped on the bed.
"What did you do this time?" asked Remus, his voice laden with suspicion.
"Nothing," James declared innocently. "Just called out to him in the hallway and he turned round and cursed me with boils."
"Calling him Snivellus were you?" Remus guessed.
"Amongst other things," Peter said with a grin.
"Seems old Snivellus has a new nickname courtesy of Lily," Sirius explained. "She's taken to calling him Sev and we just suggested a few variations."
"Oh you didn't?" Remus looked at his three friends for even the slightest hint of a guilty conscience. Not a one of them looked even the slightest bit contrite.
He wondered, not for the first time, how his friends could be so wonderful to him but so awful to Severus, just because he was different. Did they only know that he was even more different than the young Slytherin?