Chapter 37
Dragon Spirit
A/N: Chapter 37 of the series. Thanks to Rosey for the corrections and for proof-reading the chapters. Thanks to everyone that posted a review.
Disclaimer: Avatar… belongs to Nickelodeon.
The transition happened easier than it had ever before. Iroh guessed he was much more at balance with himself, because of the deep urgency he carried within his soul.
The Spirit World was very much as it had been before, and he relaxed and quieted his spirit, knowing the environment around him would react to how he felt. He took deep breaths and tried to remember which way to go if he wanted to find the dragons.
He had found them years ago because they had been willing to be found. This time, he wasn't so sure if they'd be so agreeable, even more because he would be asking something of them once again.
Iroh did not let his mind wander, noticing how the forest in front of him was changing and becoming darker, reacting to his worries. He smiled, truly content about being in the Spirit World and began his journey, knowing he didn't have to worry too much or take it too slow. The dragons would show up at the exact time they would want to, probably already aware of his presence and his desire to meet them.
The Dragon of the West walked for what felt like an eternity, but he stayed relaxed and didn't let any earthly matter disturb his mind or his feelings. He knew that was the reason that had made him fail the first time he'd visited the spiritual realm, when he'd been so anxious to find his dead son that he had altered the realm and learned some very nasty lessons about angering spirits.
Finally, a small spirit – shaped like a flower – smiled at him.
"Hello, Iroh," the spirit said, her voice as lovely as her shape. "It's been a long time since you last visited."
"Hello to you too, young lady." Iroh smiled and bowed at the small spirit. "How are you?"
"Happy to see you," the spirit bowed back. "I'm truly sorry for your loss."
"Thank you for your kindness." Iroh smiled.
"You're wondering why the dragons haven't shown up," the little flower girl said. "You know that's not how this works."
"I know," Iroh sighed. "But I'm glad you saw fit to acknowledge my presence."
"You don't have to hide your disappointment and sadness," the spirit replied. "They're part of what you are, and show your deeper emotions."
"This world has been very kind to me, young lady," Iroh replied, a smile still on his face. "There's no reason for me to warp it with negative emotions that will not change the outcome of things."
"So you accept what has happened?" The flower asked.
"I accept it, yes," Iroh replied. "Death is a part of life, and perhaps with his transition, Zuko can find the peace he's been looking for his entire life."
"But?"
"But I want more for him," Iroh sighed. "I wanted to show him how loved he really was. I wanted him to have a nice dinner with his mother. I wanted him to explore and understand the feelings he had for that nice girl."
"The healer," the flower nodded. "The Avatar's companion."
"Yes, Katara," Iroh nodded as well. "Perhaps I was doing this more for me and his mother than for Zuko's sake."
"Perhaps," the little spirit replied. "But you know everything has its time and its place, perhaps that reunion will happen, but not yet."
"Not yet." Iroh smiled at the thought. "When my time comes, I'd like to open a tea shop here. Perhaps you could visit some time."
"I'd be delighted," the flower spirit said. "Wouldn't you like to try one, as long as you're here?"
"Do you make tea, young lady?" Iroh asked.
"One of the best," she replied. "Come, follow me and tell me more about your sons."
Katara finished healing Azula, and for the first time in her life, felt deep and true pity for the crazy girl in front of her. Her golden eyes were as lost as those of an abandoned animal, and Katara realized Azula's sanity had been slowly eroding away, the last blow delivered when she killed her father.
"You never took a life before, right?" Katara asked. Azula merely shook her head no.
"Your body is alright now," Katara continued. "Your mind and your soul will also recover. We'll help you, if you let us."
Azula nodded, but sat down on the floor and hugged her legs. Katara knew the girl would no longer be a threat to them, and the help she offered had been genuine.
"I'm gonna go help the others. Will you be alright on your own for a while?" Katara asked.
"Where's Uncle Iroh?" Azula asked, her eyes fixed on her knees.
"He's helping others," Katara was cautious not to use Zuko's name. "He'll be here in a little while."
Azula nodded and began rocking, her eyes lost. Katara didn't say anything else and headed to where the Avatar lay in a small puddle of blood.
"I'm sorry for making you wait," Katara said as she kneeled down. "Azula's injuries were worse, and I couldn't let her die."
"It's alright." Aang said in a whisper, his hands clasped around the blade that had pierced him. "I knew you'd come, eventually."
"Please don't make me feel guilty," Katara said. "Everything is a mess and I don't know what to feel right now."
"How's Zuko?" Aang asked.
"He's dead," Katara replied, her voice unnaturally cold. "Is that what you wanted to hear?"
"Of course not," Aang said, but his eyes never met Katara's. "I'm sorry."
"Nothing I could do," Katara replied. "Now I'm going to have to take this blade out. You'll have to bear the pain, alright?"
"Just do it." Aang said and moved his hands away from the blade.
'Remember he's just a boy.' Katara thought. 'You can't blame him for everything.'
She took the handle of the blade with both her hands, and with a quick and firm movement, pulled the blade out. She threw it away as blood poured out of the wound, and Aang didn't utter a sound. Katara quickly placed her water-covered hands over the bleeding gap and began healing the Avatar.
'If only Zuko's wound had been this easy to fix,' she thought. 'If only we had helped him before.'
"I'm sorry for not helping before," Aang suddenly said, as if he could read Katara's thoughts. "I'm sorry for not acting like I should have; I'm sorry for not being the Avatar everyone expected me to be."
"Don't say that," Katara replied softly. "We all should apologize to you for piling so much on you. We never should have placed the world's safety on you. Every adult in this planet should be sorry for expecting you to do everything."
"I'm tired of hearing that from you," Aang sadly said. "It's like you only see a kid when you look at me."
"You are a kid, Aang." Katara honestly replied.
"I didn't want to look like just a kid to you," Aang said. "I like you, Katara."
Something tugged at Katara's heart. She didn't know what to make of Aang's words, and given how tightly wound her emotions were, she couldn't cope with anything else.
"I know you like me," Katara said, tears falling again from her face. "I thought I liked you too, but after everything we've been through, I don't know what I'm feeling anymore."
"You thought you liked me?" Aang asked, finally turning to look into her eyes. "That's good, isn't it?"
"This is why I see you as a kid, Aang," Katara said, sniffing and putting on a sad smile. "I just told you I'm a mess; the war has finally ended; I saw a lot of dead people; Zuko just died, and you can only think about whether I like you or not."
"Oh," Aang said, feeling small. "I'm sorry."
"I'm only fourteen years old," Katara sobbed. "My mother died and my father went to war and left us alone for a long time and then you showed up and turned my world upside down. We fought a war we shouldn't have, I killed people who were trying to kill me and saw a lot of people die. I don't know what to do with any of it."
Katara took her hands from the healed wound on Aang's side and looked at them.
"Can you see the blood on my hands, Aang?" she asked, her voice cracking. "It doesn't wash off, no matter how hard I scrub my hands. I have the blood of a lot of people in them. Your blood, Azula's blood, Zuko's blood. I can't think about anything, and yes, I look at you and I can't believe you could be so naïve, so innocent."
"But I love you!" Aang said as he stood up. "Doesn't that mean anything to you?"
"I love you too," Katara said as she also stood up, wiping her hands on her dress. "But it's all so very complicated right now, can't you understand that?"
"If you love me too, what's to understand?" Aang pleaded. "You just have to give me a chance."
"I gave you a chance, Aang," Katara said, wiping the tears off her face. "And you almost got yourself killed, twice. You still have a lot of growing up to do, as I have to. Give me a couple of years and we'll see what happens."
"I feel like I'm losing you," Aang said, then tilted his head. "Where's your pendant?"
Katara laughed, but it was an empty, hollow laugh that sent shivers down Aang's spine.
"It's tied around Zuko's wrist," Katara coldly said. "I think he can keep it for a while, unless you want to go and take it from his dead body. You did it before, and I don't think he'll put much of a fight this time."
Aang blushed in embarrassment. He hung his head and didn't dare to look at the water bender.
"Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go check and see if my brother isn't dead as well."
Iroh set down the cup and smiled, feeling content and relaxed. The trip to the Spirit World had not yielded the results he'd hoped, but he had known that there were no guarantees when dealing with forces beyond the control of any human.
"I must say, dear lady, that was the best cup of tea I've ever had." Iroh said.
"You think so?" The flower spirit asked with a big smile. "I've never given much thought to tea or beverages until recently."
"Congratulations," Iroh said. "You make a supreme beverage. Perhaps you could teach me how to prepare it."
"Of course!" The little flower beamed with joy. "Do you want more?"
"In any other occasion, I would gladly accept," Iroh said. "But I have to go back to my world now. I still have my niece to take care of, and there's a very important lady I want to see when I go back."
"Azula and Ursa, right?" The little spirit asked. Iroh smiled and nodded.
"She'll be very sad when she hears what happened to her son," Iroh said, his smile diminishing a bit. "But we'll be there for each other, and for Azula. Maybe with our help, that young girl will change her ways."
"It's a noble feeling," the little flower said. "But I must insist, because it's bad manners to not wait for the rest of our guests."
Iroh's face showed his surprise, and he turned around, looking for any other spirit.
"Guests?" Iroh asked, but his smile reappeared. "In that case, my fair lady, pour me some more of that delicious tea."
"With pleasure," the spirit said. "In fact, you can have it all. I think I'm full and dragons don't particularly enjoy the taste of tea."
End of Chapter