Dean-
Its been two months since we lost Ethan. Lexi was once again didn't talk, didn't want to get out of bed, and didn't want to eat. She didn't ignore the girls though, whatever they needed she was there.
"Sweetheart, you need to go to your therapy", I said.
She didn't move.
"Alex please", I begged.
She sighed and stood. Going into the bathroom and slamming the door. Dr. Peterson gave her a break so she could mourn.
"Daddy", Gracie said.
"I'm coming princess", I said.
Lexi-
I turned the shower on and sat down on the floor and cried. This didn't feel real, it felt like a nightmare I couldn't wake up from. After a while the water was getting cold and I stood and showered. I got dressed and brushed my hair.
"Darlin, almost ready?", Dean asked.
"Leave me alone", I mumbled.
"Ok", he said.
He turned to walk out, but stopped.
"I love you", he said.
"Good for you", I said.
I past him and Brie drove me to my therapy session. I didn't blame him. It was just easier to take my anger out on him.
"How have you been? I haven't heard from you in a while", she said.
I didn't say anything.
"Nikki is doing great, just about ready to pop", she said, laughing softly.
I leaned my forehead against the window.
"Everyone is ready for you to go back to work and Hunter has your new contract ready to be signed", she said.
I shut my eyes, I could feel myself getting angry.
"Brie, please just, just", I sighed.
"Ok", she said softly.
She dropped me off and I walked into the office. Dr. Peterson walked in and smiled.
"It's nice to see you again Alex", he said.
"You too", I said.
"How have you been since Ethan?", he asked.
"Angry", I replied.
"You have a right to feel that way", he said.
"Its my fault", I said, my voice low.
A tear slipped.
"How? No one could have known this was going to happen. This was no ones fault", he said.
"I knew, I knew and I felt it but everyone kept telling me it was just hormones", I said.
"This was no ones fault Alex", he repeated.
"Everything that has happened, everything bad that has happened was my fault", I said.
He was about to say something.
"Penny would have never tried to kill me if I didn't force Dean to visit his mom. When I found out about my sisters I put Dean through hell, and now his mom got sick again. I forced him to go then I lose our baby. A baby he wanted so bad and I couldn't even give him that", I said as tears fell.
"You have two little girls at home. He can't hate you for losing your baby when there was nothing you could have done to stop it", he said.
"He can. This wasn't the first baby I lost and he hates me", I said.
"I don't think so. I do know that he is probably hurting just as much as you are", he said.
I sighed.
"That's still not going to fix the problem", I said.
"What do you think is the problem?", he asked.
"Me", I replied.
"I'm afraid to ask how you plan on fixing the problem, because I'm sure you have already thought of something", he said.
I nodded.
"Do you mind filling me in?", he asked.
"Maybe in our next session", I said.
He nodded, I stood and walked out. Brie was waiting in the lobby. She stood when she saw me coming.
"Done already?", she asked.
I nodded.
"Did it help? Even just a little?", she asked.
"Yes, it helped me realize something", I said.
"What?", she asked confused.
"Can we go see Nikki?", I asked.
"Sure, she has been wanting to see you but didn't want to upset you", Brie said.
"I understand why", I said.
"Lets go", Brie said.
We got in the car and drove to Nikki's house. Seth answered when we knocked. He smiled at me and hugged us both.
"How are you doing sweetheart?", he asked.
"Everything will be fine soon", I said.
He looked at me confused and then looked at Brie.
"How's Nikki?", I asked.
"Good, sad because she misses you but she understood why you couldn't come you know", he said.
I nodded.
"Can we see her?", Brie asked.
"Duh", we heard from the hall.
Nikki was walking towards us. She hugged Brie first and then me.
"It's so good to see you. Sorry I couldn't be there for you, I really wanted to", she said to me.
"I know. Can I?", I asked, my hand over her bump.
She nodded and I placed my hand, feeling the baby kick.
"Do you know what you're having?", I asked.
"It's a boy", she said softly.
I smiled.
"I'm happy for you both, really. Any names?", I asked.
"Jordan or Noah", Colby said.
I smiled.
"So you never told me what you plan on doing", Brie said.
I looked at all three of them.
Dean-
I had asked Rose to take the girls grocery shopping, knowing Lexi should be back soon. Seth texted me that I needed to talk to Lexi as soon as possible. I saw Brie pull up and Lexi got out of the car. Getting inside, I stood and she glanced at me before looking down at her feet.
"Can we talk?", I asked.
"I think we should", she said.
I gestured for her to sit down, she did.
"Where are the girls?", she asked.
"Out with Rose", I said.
She nodded.
"How was therapy?", I asked.
"Eye opening", she said.
"Meaning?", I asked confused.
"I want a divorce Jon", she said.
I couldn't believe she just said that to me. I stood and paced the room.
"I'm not going to do that", I said.
"No, I am", she said.
"Lexi", I said.
"Everyone keeps telling me this wasn't my fault, but it was. Everything bad that has happened to us was my fault", she said.
I went back over to her and took her hands in mine.
"No, none of this was your fault baby", I said.
"Yes, you would be better off without me Jon", she said.
I took a deep breath.
"Alex please", I whispered.
"I made up my mind. You can stay in the house and I'll stay with Brie and Bryan till this is over and till I find something big enough for me and the girls", she said.
"No I won't sign the divorce papers. What I will do is give you space", I said.
"Jon", she said.
"I will stay at our place in Vegas and you stay here with the girls. They need to stay here, in a place they know and love", I said.
"You're not listening to me Jon", she said.
"Because I don't accept what you're saying and I won't do it", I said.
"Please understand where I'm coming from", she said.
"Damn it, I love you Alex and we are suppose to spend the rest of our lives together", I yelled.
She looked away.
"Take all the time you need darlin, but I will not get a divorce", I said.
I walked up stairs and packed some of my clothes. I sat on our bed and cried. After a little while, I went back downstairs and Gracie came over to me. Rose came over too.
"What is going on Jon?", she asked whispering.
"Lexi needs a little space so I'm giving her that. I need you to make sure she goes to her therapy and eats", I said.
"Of course", Aunt Rose nodded.
I nodded and hugged Amelia. Kissing her forehead, I picked up Gracie.
"Daddy has to go away for a little bit ok, but I will be back princess. Daddy won't be gone forever", I said to her.
"Don't go daddy", she said, her bottom lip trembled.
"Kiddo don't do this to me", I whispered.
She hugged me.
"I have to go to work. I'll be home soon baby I promise", I whispered.
She nodded. I kissed her forehead.
"I love you Gracie", I whispered.
I went into the kitchen where Lexi was crying. I wrapped my arms around her waist.
"I love you, for the rest of my life I will love you and only you", I whispered.
She didn't say anything, but I felt her shaking lightly. She was trying not to break down.
"If you need me, you know where I'll be beautiful", I whispered.
I kissed the side of her head and left.