Mind Over Matter
Liliana stood on the beach, looking out to sea. She bit her lip, concentrating heavily on the move of the tide, the sound of the waves gently rushing up and down the stones. She closed her eyes, allowing the smell of the beach engulf her, the sensations roll over her.
Nothing.
She opened her eyes again and frowned. This little cove was far from what she had experienced in her dreams, of course, but she had still hoped... She picked up a stone from by her feet and flung it out to sea as hard as she could, watching as it skipped along the water for five steps before sinking. She sighed. It wasn't working. Perhaps she had been optimistic, to say the least, to expect it would. But it had been her only shot, short of finding a way to break through the damned cage her lord and master had put over her windows. Perhaps if his majesty had known the real reason for her wanting to feel the sea, he would never have even considered allowing her access to this little enclosed cove. Perhaps his majesty wouldn't care. But it didn't matter either way.
It wasn't working.
She threw another stone, giving another frustrated sigh as it sank straight to the bottom of the sea. She'd tried relaxing. She'd tried forcing herself to remember. Her long dress was dripping wet and gritty from where she'd tried going in up to her knees to try and pry out some single, goddamned memory. But nothing was working, and all she had managed to build so far was her own frustration.
Perhaps she should try again later, just before dawn, when the sea would be at its coldest...
"What are you looking for?"
Lily managed not to start, but only just. She glanced his way, and then looked back to the sea, slowly, "It doesn't matter. It's not working. I thought if I could feel the sea... But no matter."
She heard the crunch of stones as the King of Blades draw nearer, stopping a few feet away from her, "Tell me."
She didn't look at him, "No thanks. A lady has to have her secrets."
"If you tell me... the worst that could happen is that I'm unable to help."
At this, she smiled, "The worst that could happen is that you confine me in as tight a cell as you did my mother."
"I have no need to confine you, Liliana. Do I?"
"Not yet." She looked up at him. He was wearing the same robes he had the first time she'd seen him, the black trousers and tunic covered by that tattered, violet cloak, and that damned decorated mask. While she was thinner, paler, possibly weaker, and certainly angrier for her time in this castle, he looked and acted exactly the same as he had the first time they'd met.
Right down to that damned understanding look.
She sighed, looking back to the water, "I thought perhaps that... if I could feel the sea... the memories would get clearer. That it would... trigger them, somehow."
"Memories?"
"The dreams."
She heard him shift his weight on the stones, and sigh, "You're still dreaming."
"Yes. Of fire. And blood. And... a woman. Always a woman. A woman, running. They all take place on some... frozen beach somewhere. I thought the sound of the sea would..." she shook her head, "But this is far from wherever my dreams are taking place."
William took a few steps forwards, stopping next to her, his eyes too scouting the horizon, "I read once that trying to remember a dream is like trying to keep water in cupped hands."
"You read?" she repeated, a little sceptically.
He gave a small, soft smile, "Would you prefer it if I didn't? It would make me altogether less human, wouldn't it?"
She looked at him for a moment. Then she crouched down to find another skimming stone, casually throwing it across the water, watching it skip five times, "I never had dreams before I got here. Not like this. What do they mean? Do you know?"
He shook his head, and she watched with interest, despite herself, as he too picked a stone from the beach, tossing it twice in his hand, "No-one can truly know what dreams mean, Liliana."
He threw the stone, watching as it bounced seven times before it sank. A small smile quirked at the corner of Liliana's lips. Figures...
He picked up another stone, running it between his gloved fingers, "Why would you try?"
She fell back into the routine, picking another stone, throwing it, picking another. She sighed, frustrated, "Because they are maddening. Whispers and glimpses and colours and sounds. They're unsubstantiated. There's nothing... behind them. Just... sights and memories." She threw another, counting the predictable five skips, "The visions are so much clearer."
"The visions you have upon death."
"Yes."
He seemed to take a breath, but she didn't look to check. "Then they are something I do not suggest you revisit."
She turned to him, the flat, round stone forgotten in her hand, "If I cannot die, and the physical act itself means nothing to me, then why not? What consequences could there be?"
"I do not know." he replied, and she was surprised by the honesty in his voice.
She hesitated, and then shook her head, "I need to understand these dreams. They are present during every moment of my waking, and I cannot understand them. I need to decipher them, and to do that, I must die."
His eyes stayed on the sea, "One cannot come back from the netherworld so easily without a price."
"Personal experience?" she asked, shrewdly.
The smallest smile flickered over his lips, "Quite so."
"Then what is mine? What is my price, what price am I paying, here?"
William threw a stone, but this time didn't move for another. Instead, he turned to her, burnt orange eyes fixing on hers, searchingly. He didn't reply.
Liliana shook her head, frustratedly, "I have to understand them. They are present every second of every day. I have to know what they mean."
"I understand." He replied, softly, "Ignorance is never bliss for minds such as ours."
She stared at him for a moment. Then she looked down at the stone in her hand before slinging it out to sea.
"Are they your doing?" she asked, suddenly, bluntly.
He raised an eyebrow, "Why would I implant your mind with dreams?"
"I wondered the same thing myself. To punish me? For my little... incident?"
As usual, his hands tightened ever so slightly. Seemed it was still a sore spot. But then he shook his head, "I don't blame you, Liliana."
"You should." She said, a little sharply, "I'd do it all over again. You must know that."
But he shook his head again, "That's not what I meant. You don't understand the gravity of what is happening here; how could you? You're human."
"Maybe I don't. I understand enough to know that we have to stop you."
"Then you do what you have to do, and I will do the same."
Lily gave a bark of a laugh, "You say that like you even have a chance. Do you think Lucien had a chance when he faced my mother? What about Jack of Blades? They both got so close, but, at the end of the day, they never stood a chance."
He nodded, thoughtfully, "If that's how you read it."
"It is. Every time a Hero stood against a threat, the result was clear. My bloodline is well-known for getting the job done."
"Mm." He paused for a moment, looking out to sea, and then looked back at her, "Why do you think that is?"
"They were stronger than the others."
"Why?"
She shrugged, "My personal opinion? Loss. The Hero of Oakvale and the King of Southcliff both lost their families. My mother lost her parents, her sister, her husband, her children. The Hero of Skill lost his friend, Lucien. The Hero of Strength lost her father. Even Reaver has experienced loss, even if he didn't react to it in the same way a 'normal' person would. Loss made them more than what they were. They faced it and surpassed it. It made them... unique. More." She cocked her head to one side, smiling, grimly, "You believe yourself to be a God? Loss makes Heroes into God-killers."
He looked at her for a moment. "You don't mention yourself."
She shrugged again, casually, "I haven't experienced loss. I never knew my father, my siblings. No-one else I have ever cared for has died."
"Do you think that make you lesser than the rest of your family?" she just looked at him, and he shook his head, "You really have no idea what you are, do you?"
Liliana found she had to consciously resist the urge to fold her arms across her chest. "I'm a pirate."
"You're more than that." He paused, and then took a step towards her, abandoning the sea view, "People die. That's what they do. But you survive. You don't realise what a masterpiece you are, Liliana."
"There is nothing artistic and profound in living forever."
"But there is in survival. Survival, no matter what the cost. That is so human, don't you think?"
She shook her head, shifting her weight on her feet, astounded and furious when she realised that she was almost backing away, "No. Humanity is the struggle for survival, yes. But it is, by its very nature, a futile struggle. With only one ending."
"But not with you."
A small, wry smile quirked at her lips, "I guess my mother and I never were all that human."
"I could make you more than human, Liliana."
She sighed, turning away, walking along the stony cove, "This again... You are so very repetitive, you know this?"
He fell into step with her, "I do."
"What you're trying to do here is completely transparent, do you know that?"
"I've never hid what I wanted from you, Liliana."
"My body." She replied, indifferently, "You're hardly the first, though this does seem a little different to the others..."
"With me, you'd never be wasted again. You'd be with someone who understood you. Who knew what you were. What you were capable of." She shook her head, trying to continue along the beach, but he took a few swift steps, ending up in front of her, "I'd do my part for you, Liliana. I'd do anything for you."
She looked at him, watched the ground between them, "And what would be my part?"
He took another step, "Nothing. Quite literally. All you have to do... is nothing. Relax. Let me take care of you."
She held up a hand, stopping his next step, "Stop." Remarkably, he stopped, looking at her. She hesitated, and then shook her head, "You... force thoughts into my head. Feelings."
"I put nothing in your head that wasn't already there, Liliana."
"I don't believe you."
"I would never lie to you."
"So you keep saying."
William took a deep breath, biting his lip momentarily before taking another step closer, "There are things I could show you, Liliana. Things you wouldn't believe."
Lily's eyes flickered from the bitten lip, to the arrow-head scar, back up to his mask-covered, sunset-orange eyes, "You'd be surprised at what I believe."
"You're special in a way you don't understand. Who else could break people out of this place, under the noses of the best guards on this earth?"
"And all through one bitch of a headache, may I remind you." She added, eyes fixed on his, tone not quite managing to mirror the dryness of her words.
"You're unique. I could make you more." Another step. He was so close to her now. "Let me show you."
"Before you kill me?"
"Let me show you."
He reached out a hand, and she found herself withdrawing just a little. "Don't." She said, slowly,
William shook his head, immediately, "I'd never hurt you. Pain is just in the mind." He stopped inches away from her, his hand hovering over the skin of her cheek, "Look up, Liliana. Imagine if you could go out to each star."
She glanced up, and then froze as she felt his hand brush against her cheek.
She immediately looked back at him, eyes a little wide, breath caught in her throat, "I thought... I thought you couldn't..."
He took her hand, and she glanced down. She brought in a quick intake of breath, despite herself. The skin underneath his circling thumb was black, and then red, and then raw ligaments and muscles, and then his thumb passed over, and, in a second - less than a second, in a breath - the flesh was healed again.
Her eyes flew up to his, wide, her mouth slightly open, her fingers shaking, "How are you -?"
He put a finger over her lips, gently, and she found herself frozen to the spot, unable to move, unable to think.
He smiled, "Trust me." He said, softly, light fingertips stroking across her jaw line. His hand found her chin and angled it up a little to face him. Her eyes locked onto his. Then he leaned forwards, paused, and then kissed her.
The sea wind teased through Liliana's hair, toying out a lock from its bind and blowing it across her cheek. She felt it brush across her skin, followed by a just as gentle touch across her jaw. Heat burned across her mouth, but she felt no pain. She could taste her own blood under her tongue as his touch melted through her delicate skin, only to be repaired again by his healing Will in the very same motion. His soft fingers gently gouged bloody welts across her skin, dissolving before the touch had finished. It was torture without suffering, all the sensations of burning at the stake, but with no pain behind it. He was the warmth of the sun without the glare.
For one of the rare times in her life, she didn't know what to do. She pressed forwards, hesitantly, and felt her tongue dissolve and repair as he brushed across it with his. It was incredible - it was impossible. How was this even happening? He gently bit at her lip - no pain. The grip on her shoulder tightened just a little, and she imagined tendons and muscles fraying at the touch, to be repaired before the nerves had even registered the sensation.
No, not sensation. Painless. Not sensationless. She could feel every nerve, every synapse in her brain tingle as his touch moved across her skin, and his lips brushed and teased and padded over hers, the inconceivable feeling only just weakened by the forever present taste of blood in her mouth.
This was insane.
This was impossible.
This was... wrong.
He drew closer, and the last of the pieces fell into place. Liliana drew back - not sharply, but not softly. Deliberately, she put space between them, and put a hand out to his chest, inches from touching. He felt it, though, and pulled back further, eyes questioning hers.
Liliana took in a long, slow breath. Then she shook her head, "Never do that again."
He looked almost confused. "Why?"
"You can do whatever you want to me. But don't kiss me like you are my lover."
"What else am I?"
"You are my kidnapper. And you are soon to be my murderer. My executioner." She took another, more definite step away from him, allowing coldness to fill her gaze, "And you would have me believe this is for my benefit? You are the worst type of fool."
"I'm not your executioner." William said, firmly, and again she was almost surprised at the honesty in his tone.
She gave a sharp laugh, "You actually believe that, don't you?" she shook her head, slowly, "You're a fool. You'll have to work a lot harder than that to convince me."
She turned, walking away from him, swiftly.
"I'm not your executioner." He repeated.
She didn't turn around.
"I told you I'd never lie to you. I'm not your executioner, because you wouldn't be dead."
She froze. Then she glanced over her shoulder, "I beg your pardon?"
There was something different about him. The softness had gone from his features, leaving... nothing. "This process." He said, his voice a dull monotone, "It wouldn't involve your death."
"What do you mean?" she asked, eyes narrowed on his.
He paused. Then he shook his head, "The spirit must remain for the body to survive. And the spirit must be... strong. My Queen's soul burns through bodies so very quickly. But a soul like yours would keep your physical form going. My Queen would take full control, but the essence of yourself must survive."
Liliana felt a chill move through her body, slowly, starting at her feet and creeping higher, "So... you're saying... I'd still be there? In part? Alive?"
He nodded, once. "Very much alive, yes."
She held up a hand, "Wait. Wait a moment. 'The essence of myself', would I, would I be conscious? In my own body? Watching her kill? Watching her murder? Unable to do a thing to stop it?" he just looked at her. The chill reached her heart and squeezed, hard. She shook her head, quickly, "No. No, I won't let you. I won't do it."
"You won't have a choice." He replied, quietly.
"There's always a choice." She said, immediately, "There's always a choice."
William shook his head, taking a few steps closer to her, "You're a pirate. It would hardly be the first time you have seen death."
This time, Liliana definitely backed away, breath caught in shaking lungs. "Death by my hand. I control what my body does." She looked him over, quickly, disgust building quick and deep inside of her, along with another, altogether unfamiliar feeling. "This is... possession."
He shook his head, "Nothing so storybook. But I understand the comparison. The two are... similar."
"Similar?" she repeated, a definite bite in her tone now. He didn't reply, and she shook her head, shifting her weight between her feet again as her heart started to pound, "This won't happen. You have no idea what I am capable of. This won't happen. Trust me."
"You can be made to obey. Anyone can be made to obey."
"And just how do you expect to accomplish that?"
"Pain is in your mind." He said, quietly, "When you control another person's mind, anything is possible."
She snarled at him, anger pumping hot, "I don't fear pain, fool. I don't fear you. I fear no-one."
"Now, we both know that's not quite true." He looked her over, slowly, and her skin crawled, "With the things I have seen, I could tear your mind to shreds."
"Then do it." she spat, viciously, "Or you are nothing but words. Do it."
"You want me to? And yet you appear quite pale, my dear."
Lily gritted her teeth. Of course her complexion would betray her, the one thing she couldn't control.
"You fear being 'possessed', as you call it, but why?"
"I've told you, I choose what my body does. Call it a matter of principle."
"But it's much more than that. Isn't it?" he looked her over again, taking a step towards her, and she silently cursed herself as she backed away, "A self-proclaimed pirate; what is it you care about enough to fear for?"
"Enough," she said, voice hard and cutting like stone, a clear warning, "You won't win this."
But he didn't stop. "There's only one person on this world you truly care about. Only one who would gain this sort of reaction from you. Her." He turned and waved a hand, and, right before her, Jaina appeared. Startled, Lily took a quick step back, a sharp intake of breath. She looked as she had always done; crystal white hair cut short, blood-red eyes always full of something lingering just below the surface, some hidden emotion she never seemed to share.
Liliana was amazed at the resemblance.
"What is that?" she asked, her voice thick, and she found she had to swallow.
"Your fear," he replied, calmly, "You're afraid the Queen will kill her?"
She raised a hand again, shook her head, panic starting to seize her muscles, "Stop. Stop."
"No. That's it. Of course. The one thing you would truly fear."
Liliana shook her head, making to leave, but suddenly she was frozen in her place, and she was moving towards the image, towards Jaina, towards Mama, and there was a dagger in her hand, and Mama was looking at her, so sorry, so apologetic, breathing short and shallow.
"It's okay." She whispered, eyes fixed on hers, hands shaking just a little, "It's okay."
And then she was right in front of her, and she could feel the grooves of the grip beneath her hand, and she could hear the sea washing along the stones beneath her, and smell the salt on the air around her, and she pulled her arm back, drawing back the blade, placing a hand on Mama's shoulder and then slamming it forwards to -
Liliana pulled back with a painful gasp, back on the beach, back at the bay, heart pounding, head screaming, stomach clenched and sickly. She raised a shaking hand to her mouth, breaths audible and pained on the silent beach, stumbled back a step as her legs suddenly felt weak. She was shaking. Trembling. Her cheek felt wet as tears fell down her cheeks, the sea wind sending a chill over the salty trails.
Then she shut her mouth. She ground her teeth, clenching her hands into fists to stop the trembling. She barred the remaining tears back in her eyes, forced her breathing to even. Then she turned, stiffly, and walked away from him up the beach.
"Where do you think you're going, Liliana?" She stopped at his voice, muscles rigid, breathing starting to speed up again. His voice was perfectly calm. Perfectly still. "We were talking."
Liliana paused for a long time. Then she looked back at him over her shoulder. "Stop me."
He just looked at her. She nodded, slowly, and then walked willingly back into her open, gilded cage.