Chapter 38
Kahlan kept glancing at Hotch as they walked back to the cabin. She shook her head because she knew he was beating himself up for becoming a wolf and getting stuck that way, so she pulled him to a stop. "You know what? The kids are fine. Let's take care of this right now."
He frowned. "And how are we going to do that?"
She gave him a small smile. "We're going to analyze the shit out of it and figure out how it happened and then you're going to figure out how to control it."
He huffed. "What do you think I've been trying to do since we started walking again?"
She snorted. "Berating yourself for not being perfect."
His cheeks heated a little. I hate it when she knows what I'm thinking.
She sighed as she grabbed his hand and then led him to a downed tree and sat down. When he didn't sit down next to her automatically, she tugged on him until he did. "So. . . how did your morning start?"
He frowned as he looked at her. "What do you mean?"
"Did you wake up feeling alright? What did you do before you went running? We're you overly concerned about anything?"
He took a deep breath. "No. I was actually in a really good mood, and I was looking out into the morning and decided to go for a run. Nothing out of the ordinary happened."
She pressed her lips into a thin line as she thought some more. She smiled and looked at him. "So you were relaxed?"
He nodded. "Yes. After you agreeing to join me, the kids being alright. . . Yes. I was feeling pretty good."
She started nodding slowly as her eyes darted around.
"What?"
She stood up. "Try to do it."
"What?"
She inhaled patiently and motioned for him to stand up. He did as he frowned, but she smiled. "Remember that first time you changed yourself?" He nodded, and she smiled again. "Close your eyes and see if you can sense the wolf inside you."
He ran his hand along his jaw. "You think me finally relaxing completely let it come out, and since I panicked, I couldn't get it to go away."
She shrugged. "It's possible. Try it."
He inhaled deeply and then nodded. "Alright," he agreed and closed his eyes.
After a few moments, she noticed his left hand tightened into a fist, so she reached out and clasped it. "No. Relax, Hun," she urged tenderly.
He took another deep breath and let the tension melt out of his shoulders and his hand. After a moment, his head tilted a little. "I think I feel it."
She smiled. "Then ease it to the surface just like you did with the vampire."
He opened his eyes, though, and gave her a sly grin. "If this works, you're going to be holding my paw."
She looked at their hands still together and quickly let go. "Oh, sorry."
He shook his head at her obvious excitement and closed his eyes again. After blowing out a long breath, he felt himself drop and when he opened his eyes and had to look up to see his wife's face, he knew it had worked.
Kahlan giggled. "This is so cool!" The side of the wolf's lip rose just a tad, and she snorted. "Well it is!" She squatted down and looked him in the eyes. "Now see if you can sense the man inside you and pull it back to the surface."
He changed back so suddenly that she fell backwards onto her ass, but she nodded as she smiled proudly. "I knew you could do it."
He reached out and picked her up. "Once I figured out what to look for, it was easy to find."
"Do it again," she insisted.
His brow rose. "I told you that I. . ."
"For practice!" she tried innocently.
He huffed. "Uh-huh."
She wilted. "Just one more time."
His eyes rolled.
"If you knew how incredible you looked. . ." she started and then frowned. "Do you know awesome of a wolf you are?"
He shrugged. "I saw that I was dark colored. . ."
She huffed. "You remember what Sebastian's wolf looked like? He is just an average, everyday wolf!"
"And?"
She smiled as she placed a hand on his chest and looked up into his eyes. "You make him look like some mangy mutt, Hun. You're taller than Sampson, bulkier than Goliath, your fur's mostly dark but it lightens on your chest and right around your nose, your eyes. . . they're such a brilliant yellow!" She took a deep breath trying to calm herself. "You are the most beautiful wolf I have ever seen, Aaron, and I'm sorry if I seem a little overly enthusiastic, but damn. . . That's pretty fucking cool!"
Seeing the childlike joy shining in her eyes made him chuckle. He went to her and placed his hands on her waist. "Joey's going to be even worse when she finds out."
She giggled as she nodded. "Yep. When she sees how tall you are, she's going to want a ride."
"I'm really that big?" he asked as he remembered Willie telling them that the wolf was a true representation of the vampire inside.
She huffed as she smiled proudly. "You'd make two of Sebastian's wolf. I bet you're close to four feet tall at the shoulders."
He shook his head, but his chest swelled just a little bit. He licked his lips. "I guess I should try it out for a longer length of time and focus on what it means to be a wolf since I was so worried about not being able to change back that I really didn't pay that much attention to it, huh?"
Her face lit up so quickly, he almost laughed, but she bit her smile away as she cleared her throat and nodded nonchalantly. "Yeah, you should probably figure it out while you have the spare time."
His dimples emerged with his massive grin. "On one condition."
Her brows furrowed as she studied him. "Condition?"
He nodded. "That this stays just between us for the time being. I don't even want to kids to know yet."
She sighed. "But everyone will. . ."
"No," he insisted and locked eyes with her. "I do not want to turn into some side show attraction."
She snorted. "You are not a freak, Aaron!"
"I guess we better get back, then," he offered as he turned and started walking back to the cabin.
"Alright!" she yelled as she grabbed his arm to stop him. "I promise not to tell anyone until you are ready."
He smiled. "Then walk with me," he told her and the next thing she knew, he had changed.
She smiled. "Let's go," she told him as she gestured down the trail.
After walking for a few minutes, she giggled. After walking a little bit more she busted out laughing and he stopped and looked at her. Even in his wolf form, she could see the questioning look in his eyes. "Sorry," she admitted as she wilted a little. When he didn't move to start walking again she knew he wanted to know what she had found funny, so she shrugged. "I. . . Well. . . I was just thinking that you must like being a wolf."
Her husband was suddenly standing before her, but the look in his eyes hadn't changed. "And why do you think that?"
She giggled again. "Cause you were wagging your tail," she finally got out before she broke down into a fit of laughter.
He huffed as he shook his head, and after fixing her with his stare – which she didn't see through her tears – he turned and started down the path without her. "And now you know why I don't want anyone else to know!"
She cleared her throat and ran to catch up with him. "Aww, don't be like that. It was cute, Hun!"
He stopped and locked eyes with her and she froze midstep. He snorted. "Cute?!"
She bit her lip as shrugged sheepishly. "Yeah."
He huffed and started walking again. She sighed and shook her head and caught up with him again.
After a few moments, she reached over and grabbed his hand, and he let her so she smiled. "So what's it like being a wolf?"
He shrugged. "A little strange, I guess, but not much different than being a man."
She nodded. "So anything seem extra cool, like your hearing or anything?"
He smiled. "I could smell really well."
"I think wolves have like a few hundred times better sense of smell than humans do."
He nodded. "That's how I found you ealier."
She looked at him. "Really?"
"Yes. I could smell you way before I could see you."
"Cool."
He took a deep breath. "When I realized I couldn't turn back into a man, my first thought was to get to you, so I headed back towards the cabin. I wasn't sure what I was going to do when I got there, but. . ."
She giggled. "You could have just come in through the pet door," she offered lightly.
He huffed. "And I can just imagine the look on all of your faces! You probably would have shot me."
She snorted. "That's not true."
He raised his brows at her. "You pulled your knife on me here!"
"I didn't know it was you!" she defended herself as she squared her shoulders.
He stopped and looked at her. "I know, Babe. I'm sorry for scaring you."
She rolled her eyes. "You didn't scare me, Aaron. Just the thought of something tracking me did. But I realized it was you pretty quickly!"
He smiled. "Yes, you did."
"What would you have done if I hadn't of?"
He took a deep breath as he shrugged. "I was just going to stay with you, but out of reach, until you figured it out."
She giggled. "That would have been funny."
He shook his head. "Anyway. . . As I was walking back towards the cabin, I smelled something." He brought her around to the front of him as he put his hands on her hips. "And at first it didn't hit me, but after I got closer, I realized it was you."
She smiled as she wrapped her hands around the back of his neck. "Are you trying to tell me I stink?"
He sighed as he rolled his eyes. "You know I think you smell amazing, Babe, but it was different."
"Different?"
He shrugged. "I guess being the wolf let me smell things that I normally can't, but I still knew it was you."
She smiled proudly. "It's nice to know you're still connected to me even with everything that's happened."
He smiled, too. "Nothing can stop that, Babe. We're soulmates."
Her eyes searched his for a second and she went to say something but shook her head and tried to turn, but he held her.
"What?" he asked as he leaned down and made her look into his eyes.
"Nothing."
"Don't try that shit with me, Kahlan Lavonne Hotchner. What were you going to say?"
She took a deep breath as she bit her lip. "All the stories say that vampires don't have souls, that they give that up in return for basically being immortal here on earth."
He searched her face and wondered where she was going with that. "Ok?"
She sighed. "Do you think that's true?"
He ran a hand through the side of her hair as he wondered why she was even worried about that. If she truly thought her soul was going to hell, then she should be happy she'd lose it by being changed, so he wasn't sure why she brought it up. He shrugged. "I don't know. I don't know what losing one's soul would feel like, but I can honestly say that I don't feel I have lost anything. I have gained, a lot, but I haven't lost." He caressed her cheek. "Why?"
She frowned as her eyes darted around for a few seconds. She knew he was still the great man he'd always been so she just figured the stories were wrong about that. "Maybe I'm worried about us losing that connection once I become one," she expressed.
He shook his head firmly. "No way! Soul or no soul – we will always be connected, Babe! I promise you!"
She searched his eyes and knew he truly believed that so she sighed and nodded. "Good."
He pulled her to him and hugged her tightly. "Nothing will ever come between us," he assured her.
She wrapped her arms around him and squeezed. "It better not."
Once they started walking again, she smiled. "I'll have to get a few pictures or even a video of you the next time."
He shook his head.
"So you can see what you look like," she clarified.
He huffed. "And so you have it to look at whenever you want."
She ducked her head a little. "Maybe."
He chuckled as he shook his head some more.
She looked up at him seriously. "Honestly though, Hun, did you think it was cool being a wolf?"
He took a deep breath. "I don't know. . . I'm not sure how cool it was." He ran his hand through his hair as his eyes drifted towards the trees and trail behind them. "But it almost seemed natural or something." He shook his head. "I know that doesn't make any sense, but. . ."
"It does make sense, Aaron." When his frown told her he didn't follow, she smiled tenderly as her hand embraced the side of his cheek. "You and you're team, you guys are like a pack, Hun."
His look told her he still wasn't following her completely.
She sighed as her hand went to the back of his skull and brought his head a little closer to her. "And you are the alpha of that pack, Hun." A warm smile creased her lips. "In spirit, you have always been a wolf."
His eyes darted around as he considered her words and then a small smile made its way to his lips. "Maybe." He sighed. "We better get back." She nodded and took his hand as they headed over the last hill back to the cabin.
* 'Thank You!' to all of you who voted for this story cause it tied for best AU! You all are awesome! BTW – 'Misinterpretations' won, too.