Bloody Red Doll
Disclaimer: All recognizable characters are the property of Yana Toboso and Square Enix, Co. Ltd. I don't own them; I just examine all their possibilities.
Part 37
I actually took time to ponder Victor's invitation. As much closure as I felt I had from our fateful meeting, I still harbored lingering doubts whether I could be in an isolated space with him for a few hours and not cut his throat. On Thursday I sent him a polite letter announcing my interest in his invitation and asking for a day and time, telling him my unavailable nights and times.
I ultimately decided he was worth some effort. I didn't trust him as far as I could throw him and I still wasn't convinced he had nil involvement in the whole fiasco. However I had nothing more than my own suspicions, which I needed to either validate or purge. Besides if I got some filthy action from this, the effort would have been worth it regardless of my feelings for the bugger.
Saturday morning I received a reply letter from Victor; he invited me over Monday evening. On Monday I returned home from the office and donned a red velvet suit; not my most garish one, he wasn't worthy of that yet. His townhouse was a short ride from my apartment, matching the usual stately splendor of the rest of Westminster. It was a bit smaller than the ones I was used to, though this was a little egg being given a gift by mummy and papa. I was greeted at the door by a uniformed butler and escorted into the drawing room.
Victor was waiting by the fireplace in a lovely blue suit. I could see he wore a bit of powder over his yellowing bruises; a skilled concealment though I knew where to look for the puffiness and discoloration. We started with polite conversation and a glass of port. It still felt awkward being in the same space with him. Eventually he mentioned his healing wounds, that opened up the conversation a bit more and I felt a little more relaxed. Then he asked about when my driver was picking me up, I didn't like his curious little expression when I told him I rode here. Apparently he didn't like my curious little expression either for he was a sputtering a bit; "But I know your fondness for horses" and that rubbish. My expression didn't lighten all that much.
"I sound a bit like a spoiled little boy don't I?" he asked with his defeated little smile.
"You do," I replied without pause. "I'd rather this didn't turn into a pissing match between rich people; I absolutely abhor those occasions."
"And so do I," he said with a laugh. "My apologies for turning this into one."
"Just don't do it again," I said. "You're no bloody better than me, keep that in mind."
I wasn't going to be polite with him here. He was the son of an earl, but I didn't give a fuck. This wasn't a society occasion, if he treated it like one he was going to regret it.
"I never thought that," he said with a sincere-looking nod. "I know enough of our peers did."
I smiled a little, at least he was aware of why this "baron's brat" was a little intolerant of nonsense; especially from the King's Crest twats.
"I know and I don't care," I said sipping my drink. "You stop caring when you've actually seen the world."
"I'd say that makes you better than any of us, and I do mean that."
The tone of his voice assured me he did indeed.
He told me this Grand Tour he was taking was part of a gap year. His parents wanted him to have some marketable skill other than party banter and amassing family money.
After his year was over he was planning to attend university or work as an assistant to a family friend in the House of Lords. He did share with me a few happy stories he heard about Oxford, this did catch a bit of my interest.
His personal cook prepared us a scrumptious meal, I relaxed a little more and better engaged in conversation. We spoke quite a bit about the markets, Victor gave me some wonderful stock tips. I did tell him I had invested a bit in a few small theaters, there was no way in Hades I was going to tell him about Mersey Hall and my side hobby. If he thought I was a peasant for riding my own horse over, I couldn't imagine his reaction to me acting in some tiny theatrical hole. If he opened his mouth then I would be a bit more tempted to kill him; the more that was avoided the better.
After dessert and another round of drinks, we went to his private study much more relaxed. We talked a little more and got a little closer, then enjoyed gentle kisses. I was somewhat tipsy at the time, but sober enough to recognize how comfortable this felt. This wasn't one of Reg's hurried sessions, there was no vying for the top position, this was merely pawing at lapels and enjoying each other's company. Even Victor pulled back a little and gazed at me; I had a feeling he was thinking the same thing.
"I don't think we've ever been so relaxed together," he said.
I simply nodded.
"We're in your private quarters with no third party dictating our every move," I replied.
"Rest his soul, but I can't exactly say I'm missing him right now."
"Not at all."
I pulled him in for another kiss to stop this whole conversation. I didn't want to talk about Reg, I didn't want to bring up that whole sordid bollocks. If Victor did so then I really would know who I was dealing with. He didn't; he kept kissing me, running his hands through my hair. He was contented to stay in the moment, that relaxed me a bit more.
He whispered in my ear an invitation to his bedroom, I gladly accepted the offer. He told the servants not to disturb him after dinner, meaning we had plenty of private time. His bedroom was gorgeous so many blue hues and velvet furniture; his wide plush bed was especially inviting. We actually kissed a bit longer and undressed slower than I thought we would. In the bad old days we would rip off enough clothing to do the hurried deed. Now we enjoyed the feel of each other's flesh, each other's warmth. I felt like I was coming home in a sense; a home that was a house of terrors I was now rediscovering as a much kinder place.
I insisted that he pamper me; I was owed some recompense for my past hurts. Victor happily obliged. Oh God, how skilled he was tending to my every want; he was not afraid to get a little rough either and experiment with a few things. After I was satisfied enough with his attention, I slammed him down under me.
"Don't be gentle," he cooed. "Give me what I deserve."
I gave him everything he deserved and then some and he was screaming for more. I manhandled him, I punished him, and I could see the wide smile on his face the whole time. In the end I allowed him to give me a little rough service as well. We eventually collapsed on top of each other in a sweating heap; both of us exhausted and giddy. How good it felt to just lie there and not have our clothes thrown at us and barked at to get out.
After another drink and a few more kisses, I cleaned up and dressed; it was late already and I had work tomorrow. I did promise him I would come back before he left for Paris; I wouldn't mind doing this again. Friday was decided to be the best day. Since I would arrive late due to my "previous engagement," he would have drinks ready with plenty of succulent refreshments. We parted with kisses and a few squeezes for good measure. Riding my horse was a bit painful, but it was lovely pain. I went home and slept like a baby that night.
I briefly considered Victor's imminent departure during my daily routine, fast on its coattails was the realization I too would be leaving soon; in two weeks time to be precise. I avoided thinking on it too much. The fact was in the back of my mind as I planned my social engagements and evaluated by finances, otherwise it was something I would rather not think upon.
After rehearsals were done on Wednesday, Colin gently pulled me aside.
"I will be announcing the autumn production in the next few days," he murmured in my ear. "After I make the final decision that is. I think that would be the best time for you to announce your glad tidings."
I tried to keep my calm expression from sinking too much. I simply nodded.
"I'll be ready to tell the rest by then," I whispered back.
He nodded, clutching my shoulder for a moment with a small smile then releasing me and walking off. Any day now I would be telling the news of my imminent departure from this group of friends. No, I would be "announcing my glad tidings" of leaving for Oxford. I purposely overheard some conversations amongst my fellows about scraping pennies together or doing some extra odd jobs to save more aside to know I indeed had glad tidings. Out of all of us I would go on to higher education, or rather I would go off to higher education on another's purse.
I was being sold off to a place where I was supposed to become a more respectable individual; someplace that wasn't London and with my friends, someplace completely foreign. I felt no luckier than a maiden getting married off to a higher class lout, getting ripped from her family to better her (or rather her family's) standing into the custody of a supposedly honorable man she barely knows. Perhaps this was what was going through mother's head when she was married off. Perhaps her family saw her as mine saw me; a tradable commodity.
This particular unwilling bride put on her wanton red dress the moment she returned to the apartment. She downed half a bottle of the nearest thing available; hair a mess, barely any make-up, but she always looked so gorgeous in that dress. The drunker she became the more she spoke her mind on her situation, her relatives, her deep frustration. Through the intoxicated haze I did interject a few more optimistic points. This didn't have to be all bad. Oxford was a lovely man; very intelligent and talented, plus Chamberlain was a respected house for theater. Besides better there than with the scheming family; maybe Oxford wasn't the stodgy bastard she figured he was.
She was greatly appreciative of the reassuring talk, in fact the whole unpleasant matter was out of her mind. Likely the wine played a part in that process, but perhaps these few reasonable words played their part. I laid on the bed and promised to obey her every whim if she could calm down. She was wiggling happily when I lifted her skirt and massaged her worries away, though she was begging me to go rough on her. I was happy to oblige; I put her at ease and punished her like a naughty girl. Last I recall there was much satisfaction.
I awoke to the searing pain of sunlight. After a few moments to collect myself I looked down and saw myself still on the bed in the dress; my skirt pulled up and a bit of a mess all over. I looked at my hands and saw blotches of deep burgundy around my fingers and encrusted under my nails. I sat up a bit, my stomach and thighs stinging. I lifted my skirt a bit more and looked down to see the flesh scored with scratches, dried blood caked all over and my pale, sensitive skin red and puffy. I must have gotten a little too rough on myself.
Thankfully the clock on the wall said half past six. I took plenty of time to pry myself off the bed, then cleaned off the mess from the dress and removed it. If someone happened to come into my apartment uninvited…I would have had ample justification to kill them; paranoia was rubbish. This is my bloody apartment and I will never be afraid of doing in it what I damn well please. I put the dress back in its box, then I washed my wounds with a cloth and some warm water before getting my suit on. The trousers chafed a bit against the scratches but it was a trifle. I was ready just in time for Simon to ring the bell, then I boarded the carriage and went about my day like normal.
I started to look a little more forward to my visit with Victor. I was positively aching for some rough recreation with an actual partner. Thinking of his gorgeous auburn hair and toned body took my mind off waiting when Colin would announce the next play. I did prepare myself for when that moment came; I would give the news as simply as possible. If anyone asked further, I would say I had a benefactor; after all that was the truth.
Colin told the company on Saturday he would announce the next play after Sunday's performance; I had my warning. After the show I rode straight to Victor's apartment, relishing the opportunity for some pleasant distraction. The butler greeted me at the door like last time, Victor was soon greeting me as I went in. He had a light dinner prepared; some soup with bread and a little meat and cheese.
Conversation felt much more relaxed this time. We spoke about parties, lamented family members, traded some stories on some legendary shags. I told him a bit about Pierre, he seemed most intrigued. Lord Aster and Viscount Bellingham didn't exactly impress him; "Those two will pound anything," he said. He did outdo me with the names of a few higher members of London's social pecking order, I was guffawing at some details he shared on men I had socialized with at a few respectable gatherings. From time to time one of us would accidentally bring up some old memory from King's Crest. We would both quell such a word with little laughs, calling it "that unpleasant business."
We had plenty of glasses of wine before we retired to the study. After a few more glasses we were taking off clothes right there. I obliged him a little more; in my mind he had earned it. He did a double-take at the scratches down my stomach and legs, then giggled a bit. I didn't need to say anything; his mind already wrote the story.
"I'll try not to be as rough as your last guest," he said batting his lashes.
He was forceful, but kept to his word. I asked him to be a little more forward with me and he did as requested. I believe his belt was involved at one point, or was that his shoe? Regardless it was marvelous. I would be walking away with some more marks, but it was all in good fun. He had me panting and moaning very nicely.
We collapsed in a messy heap on the floor in a tangle of clothes and sweat and a little more than that. He ran his hand through my hair and looked at me softly.
"It's been wonderful seeing you again, Grell," Victor said to me.
I gently caressed his face.
"It's been wonderful seeing you too," I replied. "I've enjoyed myself so much."
He smiled at me, then his expression became a bit somber.
"I don't expect you to trust me," he said. "Just know I am not your enemy."
I looked into his dark blue eyes.
"I know that, Victor," I replied.
It felt so wonderful to say that.
He smiled brightly, then leaned down and kissed me. It was soft, safe kiss; one that swept away many fears. We just stayed in that moment just kissing, nothing more aside from a few light caresses.
Eventually we separated. I dressed, we shared another glass of wine. Victor was leaving in two days, he was packing and meeting with some family members in the meantime. There would be no time for another gathering, I was actually a bit saddened by that. We promised to write, we promised to see each other again sooner than a year. I gave him one last kiss before leaving.
"Bon voyage," I said. "Enjoy the world."
"You are too kind," he said. "And I want you to go to Oxford and show all those academic prats who's in charge. I want you to learn what you can then go out and make lots and lots of money; enough so you have a few notes to stuff up all your brothers' arses."
I laughed heartily at this.
"You have my word," I chuckled.
We gave each other one last kiss, then I walked out the door with one look and a wave back. He blew me a kiss as the door closed. I rode off in a haze, he drink much worn off but I still kept my horse steady all the way home. I was humming a bit as I put on my nightclothes like a maiden who had been wept off her feet by a handsome suitor. Somehow I was perfectly content with his departure; a little melancholy but I wasn't lamenting the fact. If anything I envied him terribly, but I had my own opportunity. I had to tell myself that over and over, though a part of me knew it was the truth.
I was ready for the end of Sunday's show. That night my movements on stage were a bit more fluid and my voice a bit freer. At the end of the show Colin had us gather round, a bound script in his hand.
"I have done a lot of thinking and it was a difficult choice," he started. "But I came to a final decision."
He turned the script around: "Much Ado About Nothing." Everyone clapped and a few cheers came out. I was never really fond of that play myself; apparently I wasn't going to be missing much.
"This will be a bit familiar for some of us," Colin said.
"Never forget the lettuce," George shouted, invoking laughs from the rest of us.
"Well we will have our revenge," Colin said with a vindictive smile. "We'll be looking at it with fresh eyes, and hopefully our audience will leave the vegetables at home."
A few more laughs slipped out. I laughed along but I knew what would come next.
"Alas, one member of our company will be going down his own bright road," Colin said.
The laughs gradually quieted and smiles relaxed. Colin pointed at me.
"Rich, I will leave the joyous news to you," he said.
I walked forward, hearing a few "aww's" from my fellows and a few gently melancholic expressions. Colin put a hand on my shoulder, I felt even more ready to finally deliver the news.
"This was my little secret with Colin, but now it is time to share with the rest of you," I said. "I will indeed be leaving in two weeks time. My reason for departure is a bit glad; in two weeks time I will take part in the entrance ceremony at the University of Oxford."
Sad expressions turned to surprised joy. The players clapped merrily, a few coming up to me with their congratulations. I felt so much warmth and gladness from these fellows…my friends. I told them I would be entering Chamberlain, a few said they envied the Chamberlain Players for my entrance among their ranks. Someone did mention money, though only to ask if I needed some assistance. Thank you but no, I told them; I had received a generous endowment from a mentor. They were most happy with this, telling me how fortunate I was.
I told them I would return to London when I could. More than a few told me I would always have a family here. I tried my best to keep from weeping at the word. They were glad to hear I would be able to finish "Hamlet." A few said they would plan a going away party the night of the last performance. I ended up going home half an hour later than anticipated after all the lovely words. I went to bed with a few tears in my eyes; I had never felt such overwhelming warmth from people. If only it didn't take the prospect of leaving them to bring this out.
Now I had to deal with this prospect as well as the fact Victor was leaving on Monday. I swore the thought didn't bother me that day, but somehow it occupied a place at the pit of my stomach. I returned home that evening to find a letter from Victor in my mailbox.
Dearest Grell,
By the time you read this I will have left London and embarked on my own grand adventure. I cannot thank you enough for the wonderful company we have shared these past few days. I feel a dark part of my life is warmed by the sun's rays thanks to you. May grand adventures await you, my friend, and always seek them out no matter who stands in your way. I will write when I can and I promise we will reunite one day.
With many warmest regards,
Victor
What a darling little bastard. I think I was actually going to miss him.
With Victor gone and the word out at the theater, it was even more obvious to me my time was ticking down a little faster. I vowed not to think on it, instead I endeavored to enjoy my remaining time in London to the absolute fullest. The season was winding down and more people were throwing more parties.
My lessons with Mr. Finley were halted; Jacob would rather I spent my last few weeks in London in relaxed splendor as opposed to nose in a book. I would be getting a much nicer education at the end of August, no harm in a little rest. This gave me more time for gatherings so I could drink and have my ego toasted with congratulations.
Jacob told me of how Matthew recently had portraits done of little Isaac and the other boys. Apparently Matthew recommended this artist's services. Jacob said he would be sitting for this gentlemen and asked me if I would be interested in doing a few sittings on my own. The last portrait done of me was when I was a child on that afternoon when the whole family sat for a painting. The painting was still in the manor, the faces of two phantoms named Annelise and Oskar on display in that work. Jacob thought it was only appropriate I do so now that I am a young man, he said it would be a going away present.
I was open to the idea, I was amiable to an image of me as I was now; seven years passed, now a man of business, society, and stage with four kills, and countless lays in his repertoire. If it were coming from Jacob's pocket why not? I sat down at Jacob's townhouse after work for this gentleman. He was a most agreeable fellow, very efficient, a wonderful conversationalist to the point where he was halfway done his preliminary work and I barely noticed. The beginning bits were amazing; he did a very flattering likeness of me. I sat down for a couple more sessions, then he bid me adieu as he completed the portrait on his own. I even tipped him, telling him I would certainly recommend him to friends. Naturally the finished product would take a while to produce, though I was impressed with him already.
I sold a few stocks that seemed nice and ripe, pocketing generous amounts of money. I did keep a few stocks going, better to have some contingencies. I kept my account in Holborn, but I opened another one in Knightsbridge under a different name. If anyone got wise to the one in Holborn, this was a backup. The amounts in both accounts were rather healthy by the end of August, I figured if the worst happened there was enough to live on for three months until I found other sources of revenue.
A week before I was due to leave Jacob pulled me in the office for a meeting with a few of the other designers. A bottle of wine was out with a few glasses and Jacob was all smiles.
"I have some good news for all of you," Jacob said. "The patents for three of our creations just went through today. I got the paperwork for them this morning, everything all legal."
He took some papers out of a folder and handed them to us. My colleagues looked on them gladly. The papers then passed to me; Jacob watched me take them with a little smile.
I looked down at the paperwork, seeing the government patent declarations for three pieces of equipment I remember having a hand in designing. Right there on one of the papers was my name listed as one of the patent holders with the four colleagues sitting with me today. I knew exactly what this meant; a portion of each sale from all three of these pieces of machinery would go to me. This huge grin came over my face, Jacob smiled and laughed.
"I figured that would help a bit as you embark on your next venture," Jacob said. "You already have a toehold on a most successful career. I figure this should give you some extra pocket money."
We toasted to our successes. Jacob and my fellows added a toast for my future successes.
The week was filled with many social engagements, I would be leaving London society with a bang. Jacob and I did have one obligation that I considered somewhat unpleasant; Elijah was going to be in London for a few days on some ecclesiastical business. We agreed to have at least one dinner with him.
"Only one, I assure you," Jacob said. "I'm as disinterested as playing his host as much as you are. Still it would benefit you to have at least one other member of the family give you his well-wishes before you leave."
I couldn't argue with Jacob's logic. I had barely heard from Elijah since the Christmas fiasco. He did advocate for me rather strongly then, not to mention came to my side for counsel and not to chastise or murder me. Perhaps I owed him the pleasure of my company.
Jacob invited Elijah to his townhouse on Tuesday evening. I wore something modest; I could only imagine him looking down his nose at me for garish dress. Somehow I remember mother's lamentations of Elijah's self-righteousness, lamentations I picked up bits and pieces of as a child but somehow remembered them. I did need to learn to give members of the family more benefit of the doubt. Jacob had proven his friendship, perhaps a tiny measure of trustworthiness; maybe I could give similar benefit to Elijah. Maybe I would make sure only Matthew's brood were in the manor when I decided to set it ablaze, but that thought was just silly.
Elijah knocked on the door around 7, Jacob's butler Benjamin took his coat and we greeted him in the hallway. He looked me up and down with a wide smile, shaking my hand. He had already received word of my successes and there were many congratulations. We actually had some lovely conversation, Elijah was one relative who could converse with me like an adult. A wonderful dinner was prepared; we ate and chatted. Jacob and I talked a bit about work, Elijah talked a bit about family and spreading the Good Word.
After dinner we had a few more glasses. Elijah actually told some randy jokes; nothing too heinous, but the sort you'd never think you'd hear from a man of the cloth. He left around 11 with warm handshakes. It felt good to have such an occasion with him.
After returning home I set to the business of packing. I wanted to make sure I had as many comforts of home with me as possible without packing too much like a king going for a picnic. Jacob had offered a few servants to help me, though I was fine on my own.
On Wednesday I went to the theater for the last rehearsal with my fellows. A few pointed out the significance; I politely asked they save the sentimentality until my last night. We still had a weekend of shows ahead of us.
I tried not to initiate a countdown of days when I arrived at the theater on Thursday. Instead I vowed these last few performances would be the greatest I had ever done. I made good on my word that evening. I put everything into that performance, going places where Colin had previously warned me to steer away from. With only a few days left I couldn't afford to be picky. I died to thundering applause and people threw flowers onstage as I did my curtain call.
We joked a little backstage about how I had to squeeze every last bit out of my performing chops. It was fun to joke about how much squeezing I needed to do. Colin laughed a little as he was passing by, then a member of the stage crew approached him.
"Colin, there's a Rev. Sutcliff who wishes to have a word with you," the crewman said.
My blood ran cold. No, this couldn't be who I thought it was; there were probably a thousand Rev. Sutcliff's in the whole city. A few people overheard this and gave dramatic gasps with a few laughs.
"Now you've done it, I'm answering to God now," Colin said.
We laughed at this, though my laughs were a little stifled. Colin walked forward, though I already saw the side door open. I casually rose from my seat by a mirror and tucked myself off to the side, standing in the doorway leading to the stage. And who the hell should walk right in but my darling brother. I pressed closer to the wall, feeling numb the closer he got to Colin. Why he fuck was he here? How the hell did he find out about this place? My heart was pounding, my fists clenched.
He gave Colin a polite handshake.
"What can I do for you, reverend?" Colin said.
"I just wanted to give you my absolute praises on such a fine performance," Elijah said. "Your company is so blessed with talent, I was most moved by this wonderful show. I am just visiting London and this was certainly a treat."
"Well thank you very much, good sir; we are honored to have entertained you so," Colin said, no small hint of relief in his voice.
Speak your peace and get the hell out of here, Elijah. I wished I had some mental powers to prod him along.
"But most importantly I have to thank you for giving my younger brother such a wonderful diversion," Elijah added.
Sweat poured down my shirt.
"Your brother is a member of this company?" Colin asked with great interest.
"Yes my brother Grell," he said.
My hand was clutching the doorway so hard a splinter burrowed into my finger. I barely noticed the pain, my nerves were already burning so hot.
Colin paused for a moment, looking to be thinking hard on the name. Just leave it be and get the fuck out of here Elijah.
"Oh dear he only told you his stage name didn't he," Elijah said. "Well he is your Danish prince, and quite marvelous I would say."
Colin's puzzled expression straightened right out. I watched as my fellow players; all the friends I had made in this new life, looked on this conversation. I wanted to melt into the floor, then I could hide myself well enough to pull Elijah down and rip his head off.
"Oh bless me, Richard's your brother?" Colin said with a belly laugh.
"Your Richard Morris is my brother Grell Sutcliff, alas it seems he went a bit more into the disguise," Elijah said. "Well with our title and our business, our family has a bit of a notoriety. I can't blame him for wanting to carry on his own affairs under a lower profile."
He was a dead man, his words signed his warrant. Thank you so much for exposing me to all my friends as a liar, a pretender, a rich boy playing with the plebians. For this I am going to follow you out, drag you into an alleyway, and beat you to death with the first hard object I find. It will look like a mugging; after all godless thugs love targeting innocent ministers.
I grabbed the doorway ready to run toward the side exit. I could get into the alley unnoticed and choose my weapon. I sprang to the side, only to feel a hand shove me back in my place.
"Hey, no need to be embarrassed chap," I heard George's voice say in my ear. "At least he's being nice about it. He could be dragging you out by the ear, but instead he's singing your praises."
George was in the dressing room when Elijah came in. He must have been keeping an eye on me this whole time. My hands shook, though my blood instantly cooled with George's words. I took a few breaths to calm myself, my murderous rage quelling slightly.
"Well you don't need to thank me, sir; thank him," Colin said. "He has an amazing talent, I only gave him a stage."
"He is a most talented young man, he has been wanting an opportunity like this since he was a small child," Elijah said. "I thank you for giving him the opportunity to show his gifts. Now where is my brother?"
"He might have gotten caught up somewhere," Colin said. I mentally thanked him for not telling him he just saw me.
"He is rather in demand with his adoring public I suppose," Elijah said with a laugh. "Just let him know I stopped by and gave my highest praise for his performance and all the work you do here."
"I will certainly pass along the message, reverend," Colin said.
Elijah shook his hand again and took his leave. I watched as he walked out the side door, hopefully on his way out the theater.
"You're not going to pummel him now, I'll make sure of that," George said.
I snickered despite myself, looking at George and seeing him give me a knowing wink. If only Elijah knew how George just saved his life.