Author's Note: A quick thank you to my beta, hearbroken1, who has a fabulous new story called News to Me...check it out! Also, a very special thank you to my friends grump grizzly and Mandi1 (both ladies have some of the best stuff out there!) who let me bounce ideas off of them and never get tired of my ranting!
Also, a very special thank you to all of you...your response to my last chapter was humbling and overwhelming...I WON'T abandon this story...I just wanted all of you to understand that updates will be a bit slower for the time being...but thank you for your understanding and encouragement. Enjoy!
Chapter 35: Quality Time
The entire weekend was wonderful. I'd never intended to stay the entire time, but when I voiced the opinion that I was wearing out my welcome, I got a stern look from Esme and dropped the subject. I went home only to change clothes and pick up the mail.
I'd spent nearly every moment with the Cullens and it had been pure bliss. Even when there was no one talking and we were simply listening to Edward play the piano or taking a walk through the vast acreage that surrounded their home, I felt a peace that I hadn't felt in so long. I spent time with every single family member.
Yes, even that one.
Rosalie and I spent time in the garage. She explained, in minor detail so as to not confuse me, how the repairs were coming. She even opened the hood of my car to assure me that nothing mechanical was wrong with the engine. Our new friendship was blooming, and I was starting to see another side of Rosalie that I never knew existed. I was beginning to understand how loyal she was to her family and how Emmett loved her so very much.
Emmett and I had wrestled in the backyard; and although he won, it was wonderful to have something akin to a big brother. Even with my change, he still handled me gently and would wink at me when he pinned me, just for me to flip him over and run from him. He may have been stronger than me, but I was definitely faster much to Edward's amusement.
Jasper showed me his study and his vast collection of books on the Civil War. He recommended a few for me to read and I was more than eager to connect with him. He and I had come so far since a few days ago. For him to still be shouldering that type of guilt was unimaginable. He also showed me the vast computer network he had set up for the house and offered to come and look at mine. Knowing that all he would find was a cable modem, I was more than excited for him to come and ensure that my systems were where they should be. He seemed genuinely pleased to assist.
Alice was more than excited to have me with them for the weekend. She showed me around her room, taking me through her extensive collection of clothing in their closet. She picked out dates on the calendar to meet with vendors and take a trip into the nearest large city so we could secure suitable dresses for the event. To see her so happy made me even allow her the opportunity to select a dress for me at her discretion, provided that I would be comfortable enough to work the event. She was giddy the entire weekend and it was difficult to not share that enthusiasm. For once I let my emotional walls weaken a bit, and enjoyed the moment It was heaven.
Esme took me to her studio, which was housed in one of the outbuildings on their property, with plenty of windows to allow for natural light. What I saw took my breath away. She had painted so many different canvases. Her painting technique was very much a combination of Jackson Pollock and Van Gogh, though she had additional styles that reminded me of Georgia O'Keefe. To say that Esme had talent was an understatement.
She set me to work with my own canvas and although what I produced was childish and completely unrecognizable, she praised my efforts and promised to work more with me, if I was willing. She asked my favorite colors and I could see her filing that information away for another time, possibly for a later lesson.
Even Carlisle and I spent some time together. We drove to the hospital, so he could take me for a tour of the wing he worked in. My mind drifted back to the memories of the multiple times he tended to me when I was still human…how tenderly he took care of me during our short acquaintance. Carlisle's pride for his work and compassion for his patients was evident, as was the way the support staff viewed him. When the female nurses and doctors weren't ogling him, he was definitely viewed with immense respect. It was evident that his colleagues looked at him in awe, for he appeared so young and was so wonderfully competent in his chosen profession.
If only the staff knew the real secret…
Even Edward and I spent some time together, though I wouldn't go to his room alone. I played coward and did what I did that first night -- dragged Alice along with me. We went over his vast music collection and he lent me some of his new undiscovered favorite artists on CD. He played for us again and we fell into an easy pattern. It struck me as odd, almost like the last ten years hadn't happened. I yanked myself from those thoughts and forced myself to stay in the present moment, to savor what was right in front of me.
It was with more than a tinge of regret on Sunday night, way past two in the morning, that I knew I had to return to my empty house. Edward drove me home, with Alice in the backseat, going over and over all the plans we still had to pinpoint since we had chosen a theme.
We arrived at the house and as usual, Edward hopped out of the car and sped to my side, opening my door before I could protest. Alice and Edward walked me to my door and I opened it a bit hesitantly, knowing that they would be gone in just a few minutes. I had so enjoyed the time I'd shared with their family and dreaded going back to the real world, the human world. But, I had promised Esme and Carlisle that I would join them again next weekend. I focused on those happy thoughts and attempted to banish anything negative.
When we got into the house, I turned to thank them both. Alice hugged me. "This weekend was such fun! I wish you didn't have to work tomorrow, but I know that I'll see you in the evening for class. Can we come over after, or you come over to our house?" She looked at me like a little girl, begging for a play date with a friend.
"I'll see what I can do, Alice. As long as my work is caught up, I don't see why not. Okay?" I answered, my smile bright. How had I survived so long with her? I just adore her…
She pounced me again, her enthusiasm evident from her smile to her level of energy – it was like her feet never touched the floor. I giggled with her and she headed toward my front door reluctantly, before she exited and headed for the car. She and Edward shared a look as she passed him in the entryway.
Edward reached out and touched my shoulder lightly. I turned to fully face him before he spoke. "Bella, I hate to sound like a broken record, but I need to talk to you. I really need to discuss something with you that's urgent." Suddenly I was glad to be home—alone.
Yeah, I got that. I just have no desire… "Edward, I need to get ready for the day. I never intended to spend the whole weekend with your family and work will be upon me in just a few short hours," I responded, trying to look anywhere but in his eyes. I knew if I looked into those golden pools, I'd be a goner for sure. Yep…just like I thought.
His eyes looked wide and innocent, earnest almost. An image of his face popped into my mind. It was the first day in our meadow when I was tracing the lines on his hand… "Bella, I know time is short and this conversation might take," he winced, "some time. Can you please check your schedule for me? I promise to make this as painless as possible," he replied, as his hand reached toward me, before he put it back down at his side.
Painless? For you maybe... I took in a deep breath before I could respond, but my tone was involuntarily cold. "Fine. My calendar is at work. I'll check it and get back to you by Wednesday. Then we can move forward, alright?" I turned away from him and walked toward the front door, where Alice had already exited. "Thank you for driving me home."
He looked at me, his face creased with confusion. "Thank you for spending the weekend with us. I'll see you this evening." He replied curtly.
I feigned a smile, though I could feel it wasn't genuine. "Absolutely. I'll be there."
"Goodnight, Bella," he said more softly.
He exited the house and I had to force myself to shut the door gently. The idea of rehashing a relationship fiasco with him was the last thing I wanted to do, but I might as well just get it over and done with. He was insistent that we have the damn talk, so I'd find an evening and suffer my way through it. It would probably do more damage, but since he wouldn't let it drop, what alternative did I have? I just hoped that I could be gracious. I couldn't lose the rest of the Cullens now…imagining that existence caused me to shudder.
The feeling of that day in the forest had never left. In my worst moments it returned to me so acutely that I would find myself doubled over from the pain and torment. And he wanted to talk about it? How was I supposed to discuss the true end of my life as I had known it?
I went through the next day of work, seeing the Cullens at the university Monday night. We spent some time together after class, before I explained that I had work to do. Being with Edward, even with Alice and Jasper there became uncomfortable. I knew they could all sense it and I dreaded that Wednesday deadline. But I would put it off as long as I could.
Tuesday morning dawned, and I went through my routine before I readied myself for the morning at the elementary school. I got into Edward's Volvo, and ran my hand fondly along the dash and allowed my mind to remember the first time I had been in this car, that day when the blood-typing in biology practically made me pass out. Edward drove me home and we listened to Claire de Lune…I never listened to that song now. It brought back too many painful memories. I could hear the overture in my head and physically pressed on my temples, willing it to stop. That path was lost to me now. Dwelling on it wouldn't help me and I had a long day ahead of me.
I arrived at school and started my day. One hour bled into another until lunchtime approached. I started toward the cafeteria with my students while Mandy was finishing up a phone call with her father. They had a wonderful relationship and when he called, I encouraged her to take it. I got the kids situated, asked the noon aides to attend to them and headed back toward my classroom when I met Mandy in the hall. She had a huge grin on her face and her eyes were twinkling.
She stopped when she reached me and her smile was a mile wide. "Elizabeth, you have someone waiting for you in the classroom," she stated with implication thick in her voice.
"Who is it? A parent?" I questioned.
She suppressed a laugh, her hand over her mouth, her eyes wide, feigning innocence. "Nope. Not a parent. This guy is here to see you, Elizabeth. Not Ms. Marsten," she responded, her face alight with humor.
"Who is it?" I asked her again, totally confused as to who would visit me in the middle of the day.
"Says his name is Edward…Edward Cullen, and damn is he good looking! He wouldn't happen to be from the same family that sent you flowers, would he?" she threw back at me.
What the hell is he doing here? I took a deep breath before responding."He is…d-did he happen to say why he's here?" I stammered, as the panic and anxiety crept into my voice. My throat constricted and my stomach was starting to twist into those familiar knots that I was beginning to get used to in the past week.
She lifted her eyebrows at me, as she cocked her head to the side. "No, he didn't. But I'd hurry if I were you." Did she just wink at me?
"Hurry? Why do I need to hurry?" I responded, my eyes involuntarily shifting toward the direction of my classroom.
"Well, he showed up and introduced himself and not a second later, Gerry walked into the room looking for you. They seemed to know each other and looked like they were about to face off," she replied, with a bit of laughter in her voice, but I barely caught the last of it, as I sped off toward my room. With those two, together, in the same space, who knew what could happen. I just hoped I was in time…
I entered my room, taking a glance at each of them, when I noticed that they were in identical stances, arms crossing their chests, legs slightly apart, Edward leaning on Mandy's desk, while Gerry used mine for support, on opposite ends of the room. This isn't good. "Edward, what a nice surprise. What are you doing here? I wasn't expecting you," I began, before Gerry cut me off.
"Visitors need to check in at the office first, Ed," Gerry spat out at him.
He didn't move an inch as he responded. "Already did. You can go check it for yourself. Don't let us keep you. I'm here to see Elizabeth. Is she not allowed visitors, or did I miss something?" he retorted. His tone was low and menacing and I couldn't figure out what had gotten into him.
His face tight and exasperated, Gerry looked at me. "Beth, do you want him here?" he asked, his tone leaving nothing to the imagination. He wanted Edward gone and it couldn't be soon enough.
"It's more than fine. He's an old friend and I wasn't expecting him, but it's a nice surprise," I responded, trying to sound cheerful. The tension in the room was thick. I needed to shift things and quickly.
Edward smiled smugly in Gerry's direction, before walking toward me. "Your car is finished and I thought I would return it to you today. Do you have a few minutes?" He placed himself between me and Gerry, completely blocking our view of each other. I could hear Gerry let out an exasperated sigh, before he took a step toward us.
Gerry wasn't the type to give up easily. "Beth, if you'd like, I'll come with you. That should make you feel more comfortable."
"I'm fine on my own. Shouldn't take long, should it Edward?" I looked at him with eyes willing him to understand and play along. Under my breath, just low enough for him to hear and Gerry to miss, I hissed, "Please help me out here. He's ticked as it is and I don't need more trouble from him."
Edward eyes shut tightly, though fortunately, I was the only one that could see his expression. "No," his tone was strained, but full of understanding, "it won't take long at all. Just wanted to exchange cars," and he whispered for my benefit only, "and show you all of Rosalie's hard work."
"Sounds wonderful. Let me get the keys to the Volvo and we'll be on our way." I started toward my things, with Edward directly behind me, when Gerry blocked the way to my desk.
He whispered to me, "Beth, I don't like this. I don't like this at all. Let me come with you. I'll feel more comfortable." He seemed like he was holding himself back from physically restraining me from accompanying Edward. He obviously still remembered the parking lot from the other day.
Well, that definitely won't make me feel more comfortable. If a fight breaks out, you certainly aren't going to win.
Knowing that Edward heard every word clearly as if he had spoken them into a megaphone, I wasn't entirely surprised when I felt Edward stiffen behind me and heard the beginnings of a growl deep in his chest.
What is wrong with him? His behavior made no sense at all. Even though I knew that Edward would hear me, I whispered right back. "It's fine. Just takes a few minutes. I don't need an escort. I know you're missing your lunch and I won't be joining you all today in the lounge as I've got phone calls to return. Enjoy your meal," I responded, with definite finality, and I stepped away from him so he could leave the room, hoping my intentions were clear. I certainly didn't need a babysitter and I wanted Gerry out of my room right now, before this situation got anymore out of control.
I grabbed my purse and found Edward's keys for the Volvo before the two of us exited, right past Gerry, who was fuming and too thick to have taken my hint for him to leave. Edward's hand found the small of my back and escorted me toward the front entrance of the school. I stifled a gasp and for just a moment, all I could focus on was how wonderful it felt to have his hand on me, how amazing his touch felt, as I struggled to remain calm. He was hurrying both of us outside of the building toward the cars parked in the lot and I barely recognized my new and improved vehicle.
The lines in his face were still tight when he grasped my elbow and spun me toward him. "So, what do you think? Looks good as new, doesn't it?" he asked, trying to push the incident with Gerry aside.
I looked at what I assumed was my car because it looked almost new. The windows were definitely darker and the paint job was buffed to a high sheen. He opened the door and showed me the interior, which had been cleaned and smelled showroom new. The seats had been steam cleaned and the carpets shampooed. It was positively shining.
My hands glided over the new door, as my memories went back to the night that Edward had torn the door from its hinges. "Edward, it looks wonderful. But I wish Rosalie had come with you. I would have liked to thank her in person," I responded.
"Emmett took Rose into the city for some shopping. She deserved a break after all of her hard work. But, you can thank her when you come back to the house this weekend," he replied, before he reopened the door and motioned for me to jump in. "Interested in taking it for a spin?" he queried.
"Um, I would love to, but my lunch break will be over soon and I don't think I'll have enough time," I answered, as a lump caught in my throat. I looked away from him, hoping he wouldn't catch the emotion.
"Are you alright?" he asked, his voice insistent. He approached me as he circled a path, before standing directly in front of me.
I avoided his eyes, focusing on a large crack in the blacktop of the staff parking lot. "Fine, thank you."
Before I knew what was happening, his smooth marble finger lifted my chin, tipping my face upward to look at him. My breath caught in my throat, as I found myself getting lost in his gaze, focusing on the moment, on his touch, his scent…
He whispered, "Bella, what's the matter?" His gaze was so soft, his voice tender. Had it been possible, I would have broken down in tears at that moment from the barrage of emotions that were tearing through me.
"It's nothing, really. It's just been so long…" I couldn't finish.
He leaned in closer to me, his eyes so tender I had a difficult time standing upright. "You're not alone anymore."
It was such a simple statement and yet it nearly brought me to my knees. I had never mentioned to Edward or any of the Cullens in particular, how lonely I felt, how the agony of spending so much time on my own was slowly killing me, had that been possible for one of our kind. How the nights tore viciously at me and made it impossible to catch my breath, much less have any hope that things would ever change. The worst was the infinite knowledge that things would remain the same for me, while my daughter would grow and never know me and eventually, she would go to her grave, most likely better to have never had me in her life, which hurt like hell.
How was it that he could still know me after all this time? My spirit bathed in those simple words and I was unable to respond.
Sensing my mood, Edward stepped away from me and opened my trunk, lifting an enormous wicker basket, wrapped in cellophane and tied with bright yellow ribbon, from the interior and while balancing it with one arm against the bumper, he used his free arm to shut the trunk before he gracefully walked back toward me. Inside the basket were assorted art supplies, educational software, children's books and videos. "Esme thought you could put these to good use. May I carry these in for you?"
Looking up at his handsome face, my emotions barreled through my system like an underground oil line. I couldn't respond, but nodded my response. We started toward the building and I opened one of the large glass doors open for him, while he glided through, holding that beautiful gift basket from Esme. I'd have to send her a note to properly thank her for her thoughtfulness.
We arrived back in my room, and I glanced at the clock, knowing that I had only a few minutes left with Edward, before my students would return and it would be time to continue with our afternoon schedule. My spirit sank a little knowing that he was leaving me again, however temporarily. "Well, thank you, Edward…for everything. And, please, thank Esme for me. The kids will love her gifts. I promise they'll be put to good use," I said, as I smiled at him, my emotions welling up again. Happiness was so foreign to me at this point, that it took a moment to correctly identify the emotion that had risen in my chest.
His dazzling smile radiated at me. "Elizabeth, I know you only have a few minutes left, but I was wondering if you had found a time that you and I could talk."
My mood quickly changed from happiness to despair.
I suppressed a sigh before responding, "Well, I really haven't had a moment to check."
"Would you check now? I mean, if it's not too much trouble." His smile seemed shy as his head dipped, but it didn't matter; my emotions went from fragile to angry in seconds.
Why did he have to push this? Wasn't it enough that we were getting along? Couldn't he just let me linger in my illusions that he might slightly care? That we were somewhat comfortable when we were together in the same room? Why did he just have to have this conversation and what exactly was it going to accomplish? Was he trying to torture me? My chest tightened with the thoughts of what could happen when the two of us sat down and rehashed something I wished I could forget, but knew that I'd forever remember.
His tone was light, as he moved closer to me, and I took the opportunity to put as much distance between us as I possibly could by slipping behind my desk and pulling out my daily planner, slamming it down on the faux wood grain of the desktop. I opened it to the current month, while I held his gaze, and let my finger randomly picked a date, not caring where it landed.
Annoyed and getting closer to full-out fury by the second, I snapped, "How does next Thursday sound? I have an evening class and could meet with you around 9:00. Will that work for you?" I flashed my eyes at him and from the startled look on his face, I could tell that my non-existent poker face was hard at work again. He seemed startled by my vehement reaction.
"Elizabeth, I promise you that I'll make this as easy on you as possible. Can you simply trust me on this one?" he asked, his face lined with curiosity.
I refused to meet his gaze. "Fine. Thank you for dropping my car off and when you see Rosalie, please send along my thanks, will you?" I knew my tone was clipped and unfriendly, which made me uneasy, after everything he had done to repair my car. I was desperate to change the subject, when my salvation came walking through the door.
Mandy breezed in through the doorway, with our students in tow. She looked a bit frazzled, which made sense, considering that she had single-handedly brought our fourteen students back from the cafeteria. It was our routine for me to meet her everyday after the kids' lunch and having missed our appointed time, she made her way back to the room without me.
"Mandy, I am so sorry. I got a little caught up with things here and totally lost track of time. I was just on my way to come and get you and the kids…"
She smiled sweetly in my direction, before her gaze moved to where Edward stood, in his casual stance, leaning against the wall, obviously taking in the scene in front of her. Mandy smiled that knowing smile of hers and I realized what she was thinking. I wish…
Mandy took a step toward Edward and looked at me. "Aren't you going to introduce me to your friend properly, Elizabeth? I only caught his name in passing." Knowing he couldn't see her face, she winked at me, before a ridiculous smug smile flashed across her features. I groaned inwardly knowing this little exchange was not lost on Edward.
I was able to catch the smirk on Edward's face and knew that he was reading her thoughts, which infuriated me even more. Stupid know-it-all vampires. Here Mandy thought she was being coy, but I knew differently – she thought that Edward and I had more of a connection than we did and I had no way to correct her without making an even bigger jerk out of myself.
Edward may have read her expressions, but knowing that he could see deep inside her mind, made my humiliation even more painful.
I soldiered on, like nothing ever happened. "Mandy, this is an old family friend, Edward Cullen. Edward, this is the best teaching assistant in the world, Mandy Robbins."
Edward extended his hand and Mandy shook it, recoiling a bit when her flesh hit his, no doubt from the cold. The first time Mandy shook my hand, she had the exact same reaction.
She hurried on, trying to cover her faux paus. "Nice to meet you, Edward. Those flowers you sent Elizabeth were lovely. I never knew that she had such nice friends," she teased, her eyes flashing at me.
"Mandy, it's nice to meet you. You're one lucky woman, getting to spend so much time with Elizabeth, but it's obvious that she feels the same about you," he responded, with that beautiful grin of his in place.
Mandy blushed from the effects of his expert charm and dazzling focus. It also didn't help that he looked incredibly handsome today, dressed in a casual dark gray suit with a white dress shirt, open at the neck, which showed off the beginnings of his perfectly sculpted upper chest.
I felt a slight tug on my dress pants and looked down to see Drew, one of my students, looking up at me with those quiet, solemn eyes of his. Drew was completely non-verbal but incredibly bright and would normally drag me around the room to show me what he wanted or needed.
"Hey, Drew. What do you need?"
He looked at me and then looked at Edward, while his head cocked to the side. He stepped away from me and took tiny steps, before he stood directly in front of Edward. He tugged on Edward's pant leg and Edward responded by crouching down in front of him. "Hi, Drew, is it? How are you?" He smiled at the boy, studying his expression. After a minute or so, Drew patted Edward's knee and then walked away. Edward's handsome face blossomed into a look of awe and surprise.
"Well, I'll leave you two to say goodbye. Elizabeth, I'll start circle time if you want to escort Edward out, but take your time. I've got things in hand here," she teased, before she flipped that beautiful blonde hair of hers casually over her shoulder and made her way to the large circular rug in the far corner of the classroom. The stereo started to play the familiar strains of children's songs and I looked to where Edward was standing.
"Well, I have to get back to work. Again, thank you for bringing my car back and for everything that you and Rosalie did to fix it. I feel like I should at least pay for the parts or something," I started, before Edward took my hands. That shock of connection making me feel guilty for snapping at him earlier.
"I wouldn't hear of it. Thank you for letting me…us help you. And thank you for finding some time in your schedule for me. I'm looking forward to spending some time with you alone, which will give me an opportunity to straighten things out between you and me."
I tried to hide the hurt look on my face by dropping my head and allowing my hair to create a curtain of privacy around my features. "Well, I should see you out. I can sign you out at the office; that way, I don't need to worry about you running into Gerry again," I sighed, before I looked up at Edward again.
His features tightened and I could see the beginnings of another confrontation. To avoid a scene, I headed out through the doorway. I could hear Edward behind me and I went toward the direction of the large glass doors that were at the front of the building. I stopped and turned to face him, when something suddenly occurred to me. "You know, Drew likes you."
He stopped and faced me. "Really? What would make you say that?" he smiled, even though he must already know the answer to that question.
And then it occurred to me…could he hear his thoughts? Before I could stop myself, I blurted it out. "Edward, could you…" I hesitated, unsure if it was appropriate to even ask, but stopped thinking for once and went with the moment, "could you, hear him? I mean…could you hear his thoughts?" The instant it was out of my mouth, I cringed and my head dropped into my hands, to hide my utter embarrassment. "Never mind. I shouldn't have asked. That was so unfair of me."
Even though I was desperate to know what Drew's thoughts were, wondering what they might be, asking seemed to be an unfair way of using Edward's gift.
His face dipped down, below mine, while he tried to pry my hands from my face and forced my gaze upward. "Do you really want to know?" he asked, and I could feel myself smile in spite of my embarrassment.
"Yes." I was suddenly very aware of how close we were standing.
He pursed his lips, obviously savoring the moment. "Well," he began, drawing out his response for what seemed liked an eternity, "at first he was curious about me. But, then he kept saying in his mind," again pausing for effect, "over and over again, 'Be nice to my teacher' and then his thoughts settled on you, Bella," he whispered so softly, I would have been the only one to catch it.
My forehead creased, as I pondered what Edward said. "He did? What on earth would he be thinking about me?" I asked.
"How much he adores you. Then, he seemed to accept me, which is why I think he
patted my knee," he stated simply.
I was awe struck. "You're right. That's how Drew shows affection for people, that you're accepted in his inner circle, so to speak," I smiled, unable to hide the ridiculous grin that had invaded my face.
Without thinking, I threw my arms around Edward and hugged him, tightly. He stiffened upon my touch and I realized my mistake, hurrying to unlatch my hands from around his waist. But before I could completely unfurl my arms from him, he returned my embrace tightly, pulling me even closer to him, which brought me quickly back to reality. I was so emotionally torn in that moment. I wanted to be in his arms, but I didn't think I could deal with the emotional aftermath when he was gone.
In mere seconds, I was embarrassed, and pulled back, focusing my eyes downward, this time at the pile of the carpet of the building, while I fixated on a pull in the nap near the corner. "Thank you, Edward. It's wonderful to have a glimpse into his mind."
Edward chuckled and looked pleased with the situation. "Well, you're welcome and thank you for the hug. I have to say, that boy has good taste when it comes to you," he started and then paused as if he wanted to say something else, but thought better of it. "I should go. I know your students want you back," he tapped his temple and smiled, "and I hate to think of Mandy in there alone, with no one to help out."
"You're right. I do need to get back, but thank you again for…everything. I can't thank you enough; and don't forget to let Esme know how much I appreciate the gift basket. We'll crack those supplies open this very afternoon," I stated, as my gaze shifted up to his beautiful eyes. I don't want you to go… I couldn't allow myself to think things like that, especially knowing that it would just end up hurting me in the end.
He said nothing for a moment, and then put his hand into his pocket, searching for something, when I realized he must be looking for his keys. When he came up empty, he looked at me and smiled and I realized I'd left them on my desk a few minutes earlier. "I forgot your keys on the desk. I'll run back and get them."
"I'll come with you."
We walked together in silence and reached my classroom quickly. Mandy looked surprised to see us return together. "Forget something?" she queried.
"We forgot Edward's keys," I answered, before I located them on my desk, and scooped them up, before dropping them in his hand.
"Hey, Elizabeth, where did this come from?" she motioned, pointing out the gift basket of supplies that Esme had sent over.
"Oh, it's…" I began, unsure how to respond.
He put his hands back in his pockets before he responded. "My mother sent those over, thinking Elizabeth could put them to good use," he answered for me, for which I was grateful.
With that, Mandy turned back to the kids and got their attention. "Kids, we need to say 'thank you' to the nice man over there. His mother bought us some fun stuff for the classroom," she began. "Now, repeat after me, 'Thank you, Mr. Edward'," she said in a sing-song voice, her smile genuine.
In some type of unison, the kids cheered, "Thank you, Mr. Edward." Drew waved, and I glanced over and looked at Edward. He genuinely looked moved. I couldn't help but smile and notice how well he responded to the attention from my kids.
He looked at me and I smiled before I gently reproached him sarcastically in a whisper. "Edward, normally, most people say 'You're Welcome'," I teased.
He looked startled and embarrassed all at the same time, while I suppressed a giggle. "You're welcome, kids. I hope you enjoy them."
"Well, I have to get back to work. Thanks again for absolutely everything. I'll see you tomorrow night on campus?" I asked, although I already knew the answer to that one.
His dashing smile made me hold my breath. "Without a doubt. The three of us will be there. You're busy. I'll see myself out," he replied.
"Thank you. Please tell Alice and the others I said 'hi', and that I'm really looking forward to the weekend," I responded.
He smiled at me once more and left out through the doorway, his graceful stride soon out of my sight as he walked toward the front of the building. I was instantly sad that he had gone, but went to the phone to let Tania know that he had left so she could mark him off the visitor log. Was I still anxious being apart from him?
I stood up from my seat and came around to circle time, which was almost over when Mandy smiled broadly at me. We finished the song and I sent the kids back to their seats, ready to start the afternoon when she stood in front of me with that same ridiculous grin on her face. "So…that's Edward Cullen?"
"Yes…so? Just ask the question." I rolled my eyes and braced myself for the onslaught.
"Is he…someone special to you?" she teased, but her wide eyes told me that she was waiting with bated breath for my response.
Is he someone special? That question brought my heart to my knees. He was the most special person to me – at least the one person that I could have in my life now. That thought was agonizingly real and it knocked the wind out my lungs in one quick whoosh. I was in real trouble and knew it. I finally allowed those forbidden feelings to rise to the surface. The realization hit me so hard, I stumbled and caught the rocking chair behind me, before slumping into the seat.
"Elizabeth! Are you alright?" Mandy sounded alarmed and grabbed my upper arm.
"Fine. Fine. I just lost my footing for a second." I looked up at her and she slowly released her grip on my cold, hard bicep, before she crouched in front of me.
"I'll go get the nurse. She can check you over. You look paler than you normally do, Elizabeth," she replied, before she stood and made her way toward the door.
"No! Mandy, I'm fine. Really. I didn't get a chance to eat at lunch and I'm just a bit tired. I'm okay…there's absolutely no need to get the nurse." I looked at her, my eyes pleading with her to understand.
Her face looked torn, as her protective nature took over. She took a step toward me. "If you're sure…" she started.
I got to my feet, trying to prove my point. "I'm positive. Really, don't worry about me. You know how clumsy I can be. Let's get started on goal work, alright?" I pleaded with her.
"Okay. But if this happens again, I'm going to get the nurse, whether you agree or not – got it?" she retorted, one hand around her throat, while the other nervously fidgeted with the hem of her blouse.
"Absolutely. If this happens again, you have my full permission to go and grab Nurse Roberts," I responded, grateful that I had bought myself some time.
When I was alone, I would have to think things through and figure out how to fix this mess, considering that Edward and I were…well, what were we? Certainly not anything more than…friends?
My heart sunk…now what do I do?