37. Bad Blood

I'm prouder of myself than I probably should be when my timing turns out to be perfect. I get back to the farm just in time to catch Jowan pulling on a clean shirt; hands pink from being scrubbed clean and shoulders tight with still-fading tension.

"So, how'd it go?" I ask cautiously. His face isn't betraying anything except weariness, which is understandable.

"Well enough, " he shrugs, rolling up his sleeves until they sit just below his elbows. "Couple points were sort of touch and go, but it's done and Ezekiel is still alive, so I'm considering in a success."

"Knew you could do it," I whisper, tucking wayward strands of hair back behind his ear before tugging him down for a kiss. "An' Velanna and Mahariel cooperated an' everything?"

Jowan nods again. "Velanna didn't seem particularly thrilled, but neither of them complained or questioned or anything. It was especially helpful to have another mage there. Particularly since she's good at healing spells and can sense the Taint."

I realize I still have one hand around the back of his neck, bending him down to my level, and let go so he can straighten. "Speaking of the Taint, is he clear?"

Jowan actually smiles. "For as we can tell. Neither Velanna nor I could sense any in him after we were done."

"Good, that's... good," I mumble, incredibly relieved. "I promised Dev I'd let her know when we came back, so it's good that everything went well."

His smile fades, and something flickers in his eyes. "Rahna..."

"What?" I frown.

"I think... I'm going to stay here. The rest of you can go stay at the inn, but just in case there's complications or something, I want to be here. I mean, we cut off his arm. Even if that itself went well and we can't sense Taint in him any more, there's still a lot of things that could going wrong. It could start bleeding again, or it could get infected, or-"

"I get it, I get it," I cut him off. "Do... do you want me to stay, too? Help out if something goes wrong?"

Jowan kisses my forehead, chuckling lightly. "After your confession earlier about how you are with blood not on the battlefield, that's an extra sweet offer, and I do appreciate it, but I'll be fine. Since there isn't any more Taint to worry about, one of the other Farrows can help, if the need arises, which hopefully it won't. You take Jerin and Velanna into town, stay at the inn, argue more about the Disciple. I'll manage just fine."

He's convincing enough that I agree to leave him here when we go-albeit reluctantly. I trust him, I remind myself as I head for Ezekiel's room to check in on our patient. He's sleeping-or unconscious, I guess I wouldn't really be able to tell-but his color looks good and his breathing is even. That helps reassure me that Jowan is only staying as a precaution. Ezekiel is most likely fine and will stay that way. I'm just in love with one of the biggest worrywarts in Thedas. And I'll tell Devlin that when I see her. Roughly.

I find Jerin and Velanna on the back porch, both leaning against the railing and neither talking to the other. Apparently, the bad blood between them regarding the Disciple hasn't gone away.

"You two ready to head into town?" I ask, leaning against the doorjamb. Velanna starts before they turn around, making me wonder just how lost in thought she was. "Devlin's got rooms for us'n everything. It'll be more comfortable than the beds here."

"What about Seranni?" the mage frowns, picking at a hangnail.

"What about her?"

"What... what if her fever gets worse and she needs me? What if James can't get away to take them food?" Her eyes are raw windows into her heart. She's really worried.

"Jowan's staying to keep an eye on Ezekiel," I point out. "If anything happens that means Seranni needs a healer, he'll be here."

"I don't-" She cuts herself off, and the way Jerin tenses, eyes darting in search of an exit even as he places a cautionary hand on her shoulder, makes me think I won't like the rest of that sentence.

"You don't what?" I probe warily, pushing away from the wall.

A muscle in her jaw works for a moment as she weighs if it's worth it before the words erupt past her lips. "I don't trust Jowan!"

"Why?" I grind out out between clenched teeth. I consider it a sign of personal growth that I didn't immediately fly into a rage.

"I could ask you the reverse," she fires back coldly, ignoring the way Jerin's grip tightens on her arm. "Why do you trust him so much?"

"The multiple times he's saved my life might have something to do with it," I snap, seeing red. "And I actually talked to him and got to know him rather than just judging him by his race!"

"You sure got to know him," Velanna mutters under her breath.

"Velanna, that's enough." Jerin tries to pull her away.

"I'm sorry, what?" It's a very good thing I'm not armed right now. "Think very carefully before you continue that line of thought." I shake my head. "On second thought, no. We're not having this conversation now. I can't have this conversation now."

"Afraid he'll hear?" she says caustically. "That I'll hurt his feelings?"

"Velanna, you know what?" I sigh. "I get that you're upset that we seem to be ganging up on you regarding what to do about the Disciple, and I get that you don't like humans, but there's no reason to take all of that out on him!"

"This isn't about that," Velanna scoffs. "This is about you sleeping with a shem!"

"Which is none of your damn business," I growl, trying desperately to remain at least sort of partially calm and ignore the urge to strangle her with my bare hands.

"Just answer one thing for me, Commander." She practically spits the title. "Are you trying to help breed our people out of existence, or do you just not care?"

"Is that why you don't like him?" I laugh sardonically. "Damn have you been wasting perfectly good hate. Wardens can't have children, Velanna. Little fun fact Gabriel shared with me. One Warden makes it hard enough, two makes it sodding impossible. Now, if you're done, or even if you're not, go get packed up to head for town. We can continue this wonderful conversation on the road if you insist, but we need to get moving."

She looks ready to continue arguing, but keeps her mouth shut and follows when Jerin tugs her toward the doorway.

My shoulders sag as tension bleeds out from them and the red fades my vision. No one's riled me like that since Zimri left. Muttering to myself, I stalk up to the room Jowan and I slept in to collect my stuff. Jowan's sitting on the edge of the bed, my already-packed knapsack next to him.

"Tryin' to get rid of me?" I tease, reaching for the bag.

He snags my hand and pulls me to stand between his legs so we're basically eye to eye. "Trying to get you off the warpath. No kids, huh?"

I wince as my hands settle on his shoulders. "How much did you hear?"

He shrugs. "Pretty much the whole thing. Velanna doesn't trust me, doesn't like that we're... together, and Wardens can't have children." He pauses, bites his lip as me meets my gaze. "Nathaniel know that last one?"

I nod, linking my fingers behind his neck. "I figured he and Vi deserved to know goin' in. But... the whole thing? And it doesn't bother you?"

"Which part? The no kids, yet another person who doesn't trust me, or someone not approving of my romantic choices?" A wry smile curves his lips as he rubs my arms. "I have a lifetime of experience preparing me for all three. I'll be okay."

"How?" I demand. "How are you okay with her not trusting you?"

"Rahna, I'm a blood mage who abused the trust of my best friend and the woman I loved. I've done plenty in my life to make caution warranted from people who don't know me. And honestly, I don't care what she or anyone else thinks about me. You like me and trust me, and so does Miri. You two are the only ones that matter to me."

"Not even Declan?" I remind him teasingly.

His brow tightens briefly in thought. "Declan, too. Though if I had to pick between him and one of you, you or Miri would win, I think. 'Cause I'm head over heels in love with you, and I've known her pretty much my whole life. Don't you need to get going?"

I roll my eyes at the abrupt reminder and kiss his forehead. "Guess I do." I kiss his nose. "I love you." I kiss him on the lips, fingers digging into his hair, before pulling away. "See you soon."

I shoulder my pack and head out the door, hoping-most likely in vain-for a pleasant walk into town.

A/N: So this got longer than I expected. Not complaining about that by any means, I'm just so used to chapters topping out at 1100. xD It's mostly due to Rahna and Velanna having a certain argument earlier than I planned. That conversation wasn't supposed to happen until the next chapter. Also, sorry this is going up late. ffn wasn't cooperating and I couldn't get in. xD