A/N: The chapters are the same this time around...I'm warning you...Artai is a frozen hell in more ways than one...
I don't own Mai HiME/Mai Otome.
Chapter 32
There was a bitter taste in the air. The cold nipped at her body, even when the chilly winds were blocked away by the stone. Each bedroom had a fireplace, and though it was lit, she found herself unable to enjoy the fire that glowed. It was lonely here. She had a big room, lavished with several comforts. Fine silks, fluffy blankets, soft pillows, everything one might expect. There was nothing to complain about, if a person sought only the highest quality possessions money and craftsmanship could buy.
Still, there was no laughter, no companionship, not even a trace of nomadic life.
The leathers Natsuki had given to her were replaced with a dress. Though the embroidery on the fabric was elaborate, Shizuru knew that was likely only a bad thing. A symbol perhaps, and it made a statement of of status. The beauty of the pristine white lace also left something to be desired. She didn't fancy herself to be a trophy prize, but she felt particularly uneasy about this particular custom. The other women weren't offered such refinery...not even Mashiro, who was currently storming about the garden, had been given any sort of gift.
The pale blue seemed little more than a pained requiem, and her heart didn't need the reminder. There was not a single imperfection in the cloth, and part of her felt as if she were standing in the brothel once again. Surely the woods shined with polish, and the bricks cradled no moss...yet all she could feel was the trapped feeling, and a loss of her own willpower. It made her want to scream, the memories troublesome ones.
How many nights did she stand in the back room, apprehensive and confined? She didn't know, and doubted she could count them all...and now she was doing the same in a place where she was eye liked a tool, and not so much for carnal desire, than as for destruction...and that gave her gut a reason to tumble haphazardly.
Her only hint that her life held significance was the leather bound book she kept her fleeting notes on. As if that would grant her solace, she opened up the book to a blank page. Is it truly the dress that bothers me so much? Her scrawling was the neatest it had been, since for the first time, she was actually sitting at a table. She took more time than usual, only because it made the seconds tick by faster. No...it can't be that, now can it? Rather, I think it's this opulence. It's the craftsmanship and what it eludes to, that's what seems to addle my mind.
The very notion made her gulp heavily. After having the experience to ride on horseback with those who view gender role openly, I've come to realize most women are stronger than they appear...being stuff into this dress, well, I fear it is little more than a sign of just what I am. She looked up, and around the room.
It was indeed beautiful, but the implication clear, her world was little more than what those around her made of it. What I wouldn't give to be out on the open land again...She closed her book, and then opened her drawers, where her nomadic leathers hung in the closet. She reached out and touched them, wanting little more than to tear her dress to shreds, at least then she would have a good excuse. An insistent thought came to mind, and she considered it. She went back to her book, and wrote one last passage. Artai seems to provoke recklessness, I understand that now...I can only hope to be forgiven for my own ideas, because I know they lack proper foresight..I've got to try.
If her own loneliness was not enough, Natsuki had all but vanished, and Nao was also off her own endeavors. Even though she'd been instructed to stay in a safe place, she couldn't help feeling trapped. With little else to do, she couldn't sit idle any longer, thinking to go for a walk along the castle grounds. The idea, while innocent enough, left her pondering even more, feeling as though the beautiful spectacles before her, were little more than an appearance. Portraits were the likeness of past rulers, and they lined the walls. There were also ones of the entire sprawling family.
None the less, the smiles were fake.
There was a stern reality within the walls castle, and Shizuru could tell, most of the families in the paintings smiled on command. That's how life was in the castle it seemed. Shizuru knew she was not alone, if there was one thing she'd learned, it was that all of her comrades had a particular presence about them. "For all of the opulence that can be found here, there's something to be desired." Each one of them were slowly becoming something far greater to her. With Midori at her side, she felt courage...Midori's gift as a leader empowered those around her...even by just her gaze. "There's no joy in these walls, Midori. I can't pity the souls in this paintings enough, it seems."
"No, there wouldn't be any solace for you here, now would there?" Midori sighed, leaning on the well crafted brick. She was still in her nomadic leathers and warm cloak, but she was unarmed as far as Shizuru could see. "There's no happiness in the hearts of those that live here...how can there be any joy, when there is only sadness?"
"Sadness should not linger then." Her voice even echoed a little more than she felt it should have, and the candles gifted more warmth than they offered for light. "Can this hall be any more dim?" Shizuru asked then, a dark question indeed. "Shouldn't it be his job to make this castle into a place all feel pride in?"
It hung wickedly in the air, a vocal noose. It was one that Midori seemed to pointedly ignore, though her gaze never faltered. "I would not speak freely here, Shizuru." Midori told her quietly, her voice a calm deadliness. A huntress who was no longer in her world, her animosity well contained. "Walls have ears and forever seeing eyes. There is no doubt in my mind, you'll find no comfort in the words you speak...if a person could, would Natsuki be so withdrawn?" Midori was like a dangerous animal, waiting to pounce, carrying all of the wisdom of a prideful beast, and the rabid intentions of a killer.
"That is a point." Shizuru continued to walk along the hallway, it was empty, and very nearly foreboding. "It's easy to forget just how much she hates this place. I have to admit, after being here, I agree with the sentiment." She shook her head, mentally admonishing herself. "I can already feel myself becoming judgmental, and I know very little of Artai."
"You've seen enough." Midori replied, inspecting a few bricks, as if they might hold a key that simply wasn't there. "You'll tend to find, there is no honor here. Natsuki suffers, even now...in that way, we've no choice but to hate Artai." She put a hand on Shizuru's shoulder, guiding her to a window. "This country breeds war, it's the creed they live by. There's unity in that. Even if I hate the boiling rage that stems from it, I know that Nao can make this place into something powerfully good too."
Shizuru didn't want to think of it like that. "Then why is it, whenever I think about hell freezing over, I think of Artai?"
Midori stiffened at that, she hadn't expected such a question. "Tell me something, you've traveled a long way. You've seen my old homeland, my sanctuary, and my maps that guide my way." She dared to look Shizuru in the eyes, standing strong and proud. "You've shared in peace, and in suffering...in that Shizuru, you have earned the right to be considered kin." The rawness of her statements left nothing to the imagination, yet there was more to it than all of that. "However, your kin has been locked away within these walls...why have you not gone to see them?"
"I was instructed otherwise." Shizuru sighed. "Turned away at the entrance to the cells. I am not permitted to go."
"That's a smart move on his part." Midori said then, contemplating Nagi's next move. "He has all of his pawns right where he wants them."
"Excuse me?" A frown tugged at Shizuru's lips. "Midori, what's going on?"
"Nagi is looking to sell them off." Midori said quietly, her eyes like a hawk, watching and listening for anyone who might be passing by. "It would be open to anyone who sees them as investments, not friends. Natsuki already tried to purchase them, but Nagi refuses that act, since it would give her satisfaction. Nao is in that same boat, and, if that is not enough, she still must see to Natsuki's punishment." There was a hardened sense of anger, but Midori kept it well under wraps, her eyes were stony, but calm. "Natsuki's also in a cell until she receives Nao's judgment...come with me."
There was a smaller corridor, and at the end of it, there were a few sets of double doors. "The one at the end belongs to Nao and Natsuki." Midori explained, as she mentally cursed herself. "Nao should be in there, but, she's in a fairly bad mood, given the state of current affairs."
"Do you think she could take me to see Natsuki?" Shizuru asked, her eyes full of hope.
"I don't doubt it would be difficult for her. Nao is still a person that can not be refused, so long as Nagi doesn't order such a thing." Midori said carefully. "However, I'm unsure about if Nao should take you, it's not a very good sight to behold."
"It isn't a matter of should, or should not." Shizuru told her. "This is a matter of testing my resolve to my limit. I told Natsuki I would stand by her, no matter the cost, she will not endure this suffering alone."
"Is that how it is?" Midori asked then. "A bold declaration will receive an answer in kind, and it will not be filled with pride, or with honor."
"If Natsuki is to be locked away, I will be too." Though Shizuru's voice didn't shake, her eyes found the floor quickly. "If she is to endure punishment, so shall I."
It made Midori grin, ever so slightly. "I've spoken this before, and I'll say it again. You are a true nomad at heart." With a nod, Midori went about her own matters, leaving Shizuru there in the empty walkway. "I wish you luck."
Echoing footsteps lasted only long enough to gift a bated breath, she knocked on the thick door, a request for her entrance, and it was one Shizuru received quickly. "I need a favor...and for you to trust that I know what I'm asking." She said to Nao, watching as lime green eyes scowled a bit in confusion. "Please Nao, trust me."
Nao looked around a bit, and then sighed, opening the door all the way. "Get in."
…
"You do realize, if we go through with this, Natsuki's going to be pissed." Nao murmured, almost in shock, as she drank some wine, and cursed to herself. "There is no way in hell she'll let you do it."
"Natsuki isn't in the position to complain." Shizuru told Nao. "Besides that, can you be so sure that I would be safe here in the castle either way?"
"There's no way to know for sure." Nao's mind felt hazy, and Shizuru's request was a lot to take in. "Natsuki knew this was a risk from the start...she knew we would have to come back here one day." Nao tried desperately to put the missing pieces together, but just found it impossible to do. "You're right though, you're not safe at all in Artai."
"If I'm running a risk either way, isn't it mine to take?" That was the hardest question to answer, and Shizuru could see the struggle.
"You know, sometimes the two of you say the most annoying crap I've ever heard." Nao stood up, and moved over to the large bed, mostly to rummage through the nightstand. "She said the same thing to me once, it was during pillow talk one night...I had half a mind to leave Natsuki here, but she wanted to go with me...said she needed to see what her old home was like." Nao shook her head, smirking a bit darkly after finding the item she'd been looking for. "We were both pretty young when we left here for the first time, just kids, really...I'm sure Nagi thought we'd end up dead or something." It was a white cloth, and as she unfolded it, she was careful not to disturb the glass bauble inside.
The blown glass was exquisite, shapes of snowflakes trapped within. "I'd fully intended to marry Natsuki, before she decided she wanted to rule in the Black Valley." Nao just watch the glass shimmer in the sunlight before wrapping it back up, and closing the drawer with a muted thud. "We were both so caught up in our own goals, that we didn't realize we were slicing away at each other until it was too late...by the time I realized Natsuki had been hurting at all, you were already there, right by her side." She fell backwards, the ceiling was empty, only a stray spider building a web could be found. "You were already mending the damage I'd done." Nao turned her head with a sigh, to regard Shizuru. "For what it's worth, I don't mind losing to you...because I chose Erstin...but now you're trying to gamble against my cousin, and that's a bet you might not win."
"I won't know if I don't try." Somewhere in the back of Shizuru's mind, and in the bottom of her heart, envy bubbled deep inside. "It's true that this is a gamble in more ways than one...but, I can play his game...if he wants to believe he has power, let's let him believe so." Yet, seeing the look in Nao's eyes had made it fizzle out. "He will not be the first man who thinks he owns me."
"He might be the first who actually does." Nao was unimpressed by that. "Do you really think he'll play things our way?"
"One can only hope." Shizuru said then, more than just a little nervous. "I can't say for sure, but I do know one thing. Nagi seems to like causing suffering, and Natsuki will hate this, even if she does know we've planned it." She bit her lower lip, taking a deep breath. "In that way, this should garner you favor...and maybe even appeal to him...if we can pull this off right, he may find this to be a fitting punishment for Natsuki all by itself...after all, what could be worse than having the very people she loves ripped away?"
"Natsuki is going to murder me." Nao muttered. "Fine...we can give it a try...but I can't protect you from Nagi, or illness in that basement."
…
It was musty, and water dripped from the ceiling. The chains on her ankles were tight so that she couldn't slip out. Used to these old ways, she'd become accustom to kneeling on her knees, though the floor below her was little more than rock and dirt. Her hair was soaked by the chilly water that continued to fall from up above her head. There was no cloth to cover her, and her black scars that were like stripes, were on display for all to see.
The only thing she had was a blanket, and even that had holes in it. There was no privacy and the water she drank from dirty cups was tainted with the bitterness of vinegar. This was her life, and she was used to it. There was something about the way the rats ran across the floor, a shared reality of the dank prison cells. There were only four, shared communally.
She couldn't help but feed the tiny creatures, and even went so far as to pet them. Growing up with them only made her aware that although they seemed filthy and unclean, they were no more a burden than the cute mice found in lush fields. With little more than stale food and a chamber pot, there was no luxury here, and Natsuki could already feel it become difficult to breath.
The stagnate air was filled with odors that were both pungent, and sickening...still her concern was not for herself.
She was not alone, there were others who were also innocent, and yet, condemned to the hellish fate. Still, at least they were given rags of burlap, more than even she was offered, and in that, she found some sense of calm. The loud slamming of a metal door pulled her attention from the scurrying animals over foot, and away from the boy who seemed to suffer most.
It was hard to drag the chains around, but Natsuki was able. "The furthest corner." Natsuki said as she hoisted the ill lad. "We'll move him there." True, there was no wood plank to rest on, but, it was dry, and free from the dripping cracks above.
"If he doesn't get medicine, he'll die soon." Mai said quietly.
"I'm no doctor...but I have a good friend who is a nomad." With great care, Natsuki set the boy down, watching him wince as he clutched his chest, struggling to attain much needed air. "The next time she comes to look, I've no doubt that she'll bring something for him." Then, with a bit of a sad smile, Natsuki shook her head as a another droplet plopped down onto her. "This place is made to break your spirits...if you allow that to happen, you will die. That's just how it is in Artai..."
"You were a traveler too, weren't you?" Mai looked down at her feet, moist and black, the dirt clung to her. "You passed by the Black Valley, so aren't you a nomad as well?"
"If I were, that would be a blessing." Natsuki said then. "That's not the case, though, I suppose right now, I make a damn good impression of one." She wrung out the water in her hair, and then ran her fingers through it, trying to release at least a few knots. "This might sound like a farce, but I'm actually the ruler of the Black Valley...and as you can see, I'm not exempt from the hell my people have endured." The metal door rattled again, and the light of day greeted the shadowy passage that separated the cells from the freedom of the outside world. It was no surprise to see Nao and Midori, but Natsuki cursed when she saw another person, and it didn't take long to finger out who it was. "Shit..."
Nao heard Natsuki's cursing before the group actually stopped at the cell she was in. "Before you go blaming me, it was Shizuru's idea."
"I figured as much." Natsuki said dryly, taking the bag that Midori had smuggled in with her. She passed it off to Mai, and then stood in front of the door, blocking the way. "I'm not going to let you come in here, Shizuru." Natsuki groused, taking sight of the chains she held in hand, her clothes just as meager and itchy as the other prisoners. "You're not going to be cooped up in here with us, it's not a place for you."
"I've decided my place, now move aside." Shizuru murmured.
"Personally, I agree with Natsuki." Nao said then. "This will only complicate matters."
"I don't see how." Shizuru said then, she'd planned this carefully. "My being here will amuse particular factions...it will seem favorable, and you can't deny your cousin will find amusement in this outcome."
"If he wants you for himself, this will be a bad idea." Nao told her, trying to keep the echoing down as she whispered. "He will find good humor, but also a fair amount of power."
Natsuki shook her head. "Shizuru, no." Natsuki couldn't stand for this. "Many places we go, imprisonment is not common, why do you think that is?" Natsuki didn't give Shizuru a chance to respond. "They stand trial quickly, they face the fate before them head on...quickly...and unless there is debt to be paid, no one has a use for keeping criminals alive...this is merely a place for those who will eventually suffer, nothing more." She leaned heavily on the thick bars, shutting her eyes when she heard the boy, Takumi, struggle once more. Nagi's looking to break what little morale we have, that's all he's trying to do."
"He will not break mine." Shizuru told Natsuki quietly. "What better way to get under his skin, than to willingly submit to his ways, proving that they can be over come."
"Shizuru..." Natsuki growled.
Aggravated, Shizuru clamped one end her chains around the metal bars, and then clamped the other end around her ankle. "You'll either open the door so that I may come in, or I'll simply stay out here..but either way, you're not in any position to argue...and I'm in no mood to return to my room."