Lucy figured she should have learned by now that things really don't happen to her like they did in books or movies. A little contradictory for a guild and school named Fairy Tail, but degressing…
In movies, love happened like two people that crush on each other and then say long and beautiful love confessions in the rain and then share some kind of kiss and then hold hands as they ride into the sunset, so to say.
Love didn't exactly come to her like she'd dreamed, like in some letter, a romantic moment in the middle of a battlefield right after a couple almost died, in a slow dance, or in a first sight wow, he's gorgeous moment.
Nah, love came to her more like a slap in the face followed by a roundhouse kick to the chest.
But hey, she probably should have expected as much from life as a ninja.
It had started a peaceful Saturday.
Levy had woken her up that day, happily wandering about the room in her footie pajamas. Lucy could see, with satisfaction, that Levy's injuries had healed enough to take her bandages off within the last week. Lucy's had as well, and the battle seemed like a thing of the past, considering their nearly-repaired guild. But two things kept the fight from plaguing Lucy's mind; Ultear and Natsu.
The funeral had been suffocating, Meredy trying her best to hold back her sobs with Jellal holding her and murmuring gently. Gray remained, for the most part, completely silent, face like stone. Lyon only seemed angry, fists tight. Lucy had needed to escape and take a breath of cold air outside; it all seemed too unreal, making her dizzy.
When she'd walked back into the church, she'd heard Gray's voice in the first time for several days as he spoke to Juvia off to the side. "They closed it… and I didn't look into the casket first."
Juvia had only touched his arm. "That's okay. Remember her as you wish."
Her and Ultear had never been close, but Lucy had cried most of the night.
Without Natsu there. Because he was still in the infirmary.
The next day, she'd picked herself up.
Washed the tears from her face.
Given Gray a big hug.
Moved on.
Now, Lucy shook herself awake, sliding her feet into her slippers on the floor. Lucy yawned, groaning and pressing her palms to her eyes. "W-wha time isit?"
"Nine-thirty. Good morning!" Levy chirped, humming and brushing her hair while flipping some pages in her linguistics textbook that she sometimes read for fun.
"Mmmornin'," Lucy managed, reaching blindly for her phone on her bedside table, flopping her hand around until she grasped it and brought it to her face. Hardly even knowing what she was doing, she scrolled through the texts from Natsu. He had woken up in the middle of the night due to his screwed up sleeping pattern, text bombing Lucy until she answered him. Lucy guessed she must have been smiling stupidly, because she heard Levy's giggle as she sat next to her roommate on the mattress.
"Whacha doing, Lu?" Levy tried to peer over her shoulder, but the blonde quickly tucked her phone away under her pillow.
"J-just checking something." She stood with an exaggerated stretch, grasping her hands above her before grabbing her own brush and then dragging it through her golden mess. "Healing up well?"
"I am. You?"
"Yeah. Stab wound still needs bandage, but at least it's not my whole back shredded," Lucy finished with a mumble.
"Lu," Levy scolded, hands on her hips. "You have to stop blaming yourself for that. He doesn't either. He was happy to do that for you."
"That doesn't make me feel better." Lucy grimaced. "Seeing him like that just… I can't stand it, Lev. I sure hope he's down there this morning or I'll hate myself for eternity."
"Oh, don't be overdramatic," Levy dismissed. "Natsu's fine and dandy. He might enjoy your attention but not if it involves self-hate."
"That boy has the attention span of a newt." Rolling her eyes, Lucy set down the brush and straightened out her long nightshirt. "Why he would enjoy attention from anyone is a mystery to me."
"'Cause he's in looo-"
"Don't you dare. Too early in the morning for this," Lucy cut her off.
"You're the one who started talking about him," Levy scoffed, slipping on her own slippers and heading to the door for breakfast. "Because you're so freaking in loooove with the guy that you can't stop thinking about him-"
"Well that may be, but you don't need to rub it in!"
Silence.
Trembling in horror, Lucy squeaked and clapped her hands over her mouth. Levy's jaw dropped, hand falling off the doorknob and textbook smashing to the floor.
"What did you just say?" Levy choked.
"Oh. My. Mavis," Lucy breathed, muffled by her hands. "What did I… OhmyMavis I did NOT just say that!"
"I think you did."
"I-I didn't."
"You so just did! Oh my Mavis, you've emerged from denial!" Levy practically screamed, dancing around in a circle. "Toooold you so. Told you so told you so told you so told you sooooo-"
Lucy clamped a hand over her friend's mouth. "STOP."
Still giggling, the infuriating nerd hopped around like a bunny, hugging herself. "Ooo, you're in love! It's so cute ohmyMavis I can't handle it! It's canon!"
On the other hand, Lucy was clutching her head, staring at the ground with mouth slightly parted. "I-I… but… But I never… but I don't!"
"Accept it already!" Levy squealed gleefully, spinning in circles. "You love him and you're gonna date and get married and have 33 babies-" Her friend stopped when she noticed Lucy sinking back onto her bed, covering her face and flopping over.
Lucy covered her self all the way to the top of her head with her quilt, stomach rolling around inside her and heart having sped up to unhealthy paces.
"L-Lu?" she heard her roommate ask tentatively, prodding her shoulder. "Are.. are you okay?"
Finding her voice for a moment, Lucy said, "I-I need a minute. Go down without me. Tell them I'm t-taking a shower or something."
"Alright," Levy answered uncertainly. "Are you sure you're gonna be okay? I'm sorry for flipping out like that; I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable…"
Her brown eyes peeked at her concerned friend from under her quilt. "I'll be fine. It's not you - really. I just need… to think a little, okay? I'm not feeling so good."
"Want me to get you anything?"
"No. I'll be down in about a half an hour."
"Okay, if you're sure…"
With the quilt back over her eyes, Lucy heard the door close. As soon as Levy was out, she turned and screamed into her pillow.
What was that? Since when was she in love with Natsu?! She'd spent months telling everyone she wasn't! Because he was her best friend. A dorky, slobby, terrible dancer, completely insensitive to the point of rudeness, immature, overenthusiastic, oblivious, idiotic friend. Natsu wasn't what she wanted! He was no gentlemen or some kind of prince!
He was a freaking dragon boy adrenaline junkie ninja pyromaniac with a blue cat.
Well sure, he was also fun, energetic, hilarious, brave, kind, skilled, attractive and freakishly hot to the point of illegality, like his abs or his butt in a pair of jeans (not that she'd been looking, but seriously, damn), cute, adorable, sweet, spirited, wild, and basically her favorite person on earth, but…
What really hit Lucy hard was the realization that she wouldn't mind spending the rest of her life with him.
It actually sounded pretty fun.
And then the thought of him spending it with someone else…
It hurt. Really bad.
He was her partner.
He was Lucy's Boy.
Shit.
Her chest hurt with the speed of her heartbeats at this point, absolutely terrified of her revelations. Memories flashed by: him laughing with her, sitting on her bed, brushing her hair, watching anime with her when she was sick, sliding the bracelet on her wrist, flipping through his sketchbook, reading to him, battling with him, training with him, arguing with him, doing anything she could to see his smile, him blocking her body from flying shrapnel, him cowering and shaking when he saw flames eating at the walls, trying to teach him how to dance, massaging his head when he was motion sick, trying to explain everyday social interactions to him, sitting at night and talking about love, climbing to his room when he had a nightmare, holding each other for comfort, pulling pranks with him, joining him in detention, skipping school, swimming, laying together and listening to music…
This whole time, had she been seriously… falling for him?
When it officially slapped her in the face, Lucy felt like the biggest idiot in the world.
Of course she had.
She was in love with that complete idiot.
Dammit.
Lucy's eyes widened at her hands. They were shaking.
How the hell did this happen?
They had nothing in common!
They were opposites!
Levy's voice echoed in her head: Your soulmate is supposed to make up for what you don't have, right? I'd want the opposite of me with a few important similarities. Opposites attract, after all.
Oh. My. Mavis.
"Okay, Lucy," she murmured to herself, gripping Plue to calm herself down. "So you're in love with the guy; suck it up. Th-this doesn't have to change anything. You're gonna go d-down there and… be normal." But her body wouldn't move. "Ugh, what do I do?!"
So she sat up and meditated.
When she gave her last calming breath out, she pushed a hand through her hair. Numbly, she stood, still not knowing what she was going to do with herself, and dreamily headed down to the first floor.
Though it was slowly fading, Lucy still heard the sniggers from the boys as she passed, and she knew their eyes were trained on her pink bracelt. She honestly was too annoyed at this point to care. It was just a switch of color. What was the big deal?
Not being hungry with her swirling stomach, she simply sat down by Gray, Erza, Juvia, and Levy, who had drug over Gajeel to make him be social.
"H-hey, Lu!" Levy said nervously when she noticed her roommate. "Um, how you feelin'?"
"Mmm fine," Lucy said, eyes glossed over and staring straight ahead.
But that made all of them raise their eyebrows.
"You actually look pretty stupefied to me," Gray said, taking a bite out of his croissant.
"Is Lucy-chan sick?" Juvia asked, and Lucy actually felt touched by her concern.
"Hmm? No, I'm fine…"
"You look very pale, Lucy," Erza noticed, putting down her fork. "Did you get enough sleep?"
Gajeel's nose twitched. "You smell pretty nervous and scared. It's disrupting my breakfast."
Lucy temporarily snapped out of her daze. "Then stop smelling me!"
"Metal mouth is sniffing you? What a pervert."
When Lucy looked up to see his pink hair and frown, she just shrieked, toppling over into Gray and rolling under the table.
Natsu laughed with the others, but then he soon stopped when he realized she was still hiding under the table. Lucy had curled up in a ball, eyes squeezed shut. This made him squat down to her level and glare. "It's just ME!" Natsu huffed. "What's with you, Lucy? How about a 'Oh hi, Natsu, nice to see you out of a hospital bed'."
At this, Lucy blinked a few times, head snapping upwards to look at him, finally coming out of her little world of unawareness. "You're… out of the…"
Clambering out from under the table, she cried out, jumping on him and hugging him hard enough to suffocate.
"W-whoa!" he gasped, choking and laughing. "Good mornin'!"
"Oh my Mavis!" she squeaked, backing away. "Did I just hurt you? Oh no-"
"No, I'm fine!" he hold her cheerily, beaming. "I'm on pain meds and I'm all pretty much back together, so you're-ACK!"
Lucy had hugged him again, this time not letting go and getting her happy tears all over his collar. He stumbled back with another laugh, holding her around the middle to stay balanced. The people at the table chuckled, offering their greetings to Natsu while he was still having the life squeezed out of him.
It took a few minutes for Lucy to make herself let him go, after which he joined her at her seat. Throwing an arm on the bench behind her, Natsu began to dig into the food he'd set down when he came. "What did I miss?" he asked through full cheeks. Lucy leaned against his shoulder, breathing in the woody scent of his scarf. He'd clearly just taken a shower.
Stroking Happy who had settled himself between on top of their legs, Lucy answered, "Not much. We're still rebuilding. Nothing else has really happened."
"Mmkay," he said, shoveling in more bacon. "Why were you hiding under the table?"
"Hmm?" She hadn't heard him due to how she was busy playing with Happy's paw with her right hand and gripping his scarf on the other side of Natsu's face with the other, absently running her thumb along his jawline.
While Natsu slid his hand on her shoulder in response, Gray coughed, grimacing and pounding his chest. "Ugh. You two are so disgustingly in love. Please, we're trying to eat, here."
Her revelation this morning suddenly came rushing back, turning the heat in her face all the way up and causing her heart to pound so that she could hear it in her mind. "Sh-shut up! No we're-"
It was Gajeel who scowled next. "Gah, yeah, I'm starting to feel like I'm on a sailboat just watchin' you idiots."
Natsu blanched. "S-sailboat?!"
She gritted her teeth at him. "Is that the only part you heard?"
"Yep!" He swallowed, shooting her a huge smile.
She melted. "O-okay."
The table gawked at her.
"What?" she said, shrinking further away from them.
"You didn't yell at him," Gray answered.
"I don't yell at him all the time," Lucy muttered.
"Yes, Lucy-chan does."
Gray murmured, shooting her a smirk, "Like an old married couple."
"Yeah, well maybe I'm just happy he's here, okay?" she said harshly, glaring around at all of them.
Even Natsu gave her a weird look at that.
"Did you mean to say that out loud?" Levy questioned.
Lucy was pretty sure her face matched her guild mark. "Wh-why not?! Can't I like to be around my f-friend?"
Natsu was smiling really big. "See? She doesn't think I'm that freaky!"
All the realization that she'd come to included with sitting so close to him and in front of everyone… it was too much. She only looked up from where she was clutching her chest, curled up, when Levy shouted, "Lucy! LUCY!"
"H-huh?"
"You're hyperventilating."
Everyone at the table looked extremely worried, Gray tapping the side of her head as if it would stop her from malfunctioning. Natsu grabbed her face between his hands, eyebrows all scrunched together. This didn't help.
"What's wrong? Are you gonna pass out?" He brushed some hair away from where it was sticking to her face with the cold sweat she'd broken into.
"I-no!" she said, flinching away from him and scrambling to climb over him to the end of the bench. "I-I'm just really tired. I need to sleep-"
"Wait a sec," Natsu stopped her with a hand on her wrist, raising his eyebrows. His face had slowly started to turn the color of his hair as his eyes traveled down to her bare legs. "Is that my shirt?"
She nearly did pass out when she looked down and saw that she was indeed wearing his ninjitsu tournament shirt.
Gajeel let out a wolf whistle, causing Levy to slap his arm. "Ah! I, uh, you left it in my room! I-I forgot, I… I have to go… I need a nap. Kept waking up last night," Lucy begged, forcing his hand off of her wrist.
"Okay," Natsu said, stumbling up and snatching up her arm. "Uh, just… do you want me to…?"
He rubbed the back of his neck and glanced meaningfully up to her room. In both mortification and adoration of his thoughtfulness, she realized he was asking if she wanted him to take the nap with her.
"N-no, really, that's fine," she stammered. She'd NEVER get to sleep if he was there, holding her and making her heart race... "I-I just…"
He was touching her cheek, that same worried expression etching back onto his face. "Your face is all red. What's wrong with it?"
"I'm fine, Natsu!" she told him loudly, hoping to convince him. "Stop the worrying; I just need a nap-"
He'd shoved his hands grumpily in his pockets. "Geez, I didn't realize I was forbidden from worrying about my best friend. Are you sure you don't want…?"
It was the words 'best friend' that made her step back, breath catching. "Ah," she croaked out, swallowing. "I'm sure. Please I… I just need some time…"
Disappointment clouded his features. "Oh. Okay. Wait!" he stopped her, reaching down to the bench and picking up Happy. "Here," he muttered awkwardly, holding out his cat to her. "To… help you sleep."
Lucy's eyes flicked down to the table, where she saw the boys gawking, Levy cooing, Erza with a smile. Then she looked back to Natsu, those tough, caring eyes glancing from her and then to his bare feet while he held out Happy for her.
Before she knew what she was doing, she rushed up, kissing him on the cheek, grabbing the cat, and bolting off up the stairs.
Natsu was left behind, listening to the laughter of his guildmates at his expression. He held his cheek, bewildered. "Whaaa…?"
Slamming the door shut, she closed her eyes tightly and slammed down onto her bed, earning a protesting yowl from Happy as she hid under her covers with him.
Stupid.
She.
Was.
So.
Stupid.
Lucy had been so focused on how to act now that her feelings had officially been brought to light that she hadn't taken a second to think about the fact that he didn't feel the same way.
What really got her stomach swirling and chest stabbing painfully was remembering that one time those few months ago, when he'd heard of the idea of them dating and burst out laughing. He'd thought the idea was laughable.
What had she been thinking? That something would change? That he would just start loving her back out of nowhere?
Natsu didn't even want anyone, much less her.
Much less the girl that was just his friend.
And wasn't as strong as him.
Stupid.
Her breath caught, heart literally hurting and fingers curling into Happy's fur. She wouldn't tell him. He couldn't know. What would he say, if she told him how she felt?
Natsu would laugh.
Really hard.
Then he might become awkward with her.
Because she wasn't what he wanted.
So she would keep quiet.
He couldn't know.
Lucy would make sure he didn't find out.
With that thought causing her chest to ache, she drifted off to sleep, Happy purring comfortingly beside her.
"Lucy. How long are you gonna stay here? You sure you're not sick?"
"Huuuh..?" she murmured, blinking her eyes awake. She turned over to face the intruder, clutching Happy and squinting up at the shirtless, dark-haired boy prodding her awake with a frown.
"Oh, Gray, it's you," she muttered, wincing and pushing herself upward. "N-nah, I'm-" she yawned. "I can get up." She opened one eye at him. "What're you doing here?" He'd never come to wake her up before.
Taking out a dagger to sharpen and making himself comfortable sitting on the bed, he said casually, "Levy and Gajeel are flirting, Natsu's moping in his room, Erza and Jellal are a boiling pot of sexual tension, Cana is drinking and gossiping with Mira, and Juvia is stalking me. So I thought I'd check on you."
Pulling a floppy Happy onto her lap, Lucy rolled her eyes at him. "Thanks, sweet of you, but… Honestly, Gray - you need to give the poor girl a chance. I know you like being around her, or you would've avoided her even more by now."
Though he turned his face away, she caught, with a satisfied smirk, his blush. "Sh-she's a creepy stalker! I mean, yeah, she's nice, but I-I not into the stalker type-"
"Gray, have you ever asked her to stop?" Lucy sighed in exasperation. "If you don't directly tell her to stop doing stuff you don't like then she'll assume you don't mind, you idiot! She's a really sweet girl, and you'd be able to see that if you'd talk it out with her like a man and then give her a chance!"
"I-well-ugh, you sound like Mirajane," he finished with a mumble, sliding his dagger back into a sheath on his belt.
"Well, Mirajane is smart," Lucy said firmly, lifting the covers off of herself. "She's been observing and giving advice behind a bar for years - she's pretty good with the relationship department and predictions."
Her friend quirked an eyebrow at her. "You do remember she's the one who started the whole 'Nalu' thing, right?"
"Yeah," Lucy muttered, sick feeling returning to her gut.
"So why are you defending her?" Gray scoffed, leaning back against the wall.
"I'm just saying she's not wrong about everything," Lucy tried, staring out the window to hide her expression.
"But you're always telling her to shut up about-wait." Gray jolted up, standing with wide eyes. "Wait-hold the fuck up."
"What?" Lucy asked weakly.
"When you say she's not wrong about everything," he said slowly, and Lucy realized, with horror, that he'd figured it out already, "do you mean that you… Natsu?"
In response, Lucy lifted the pillow to her face and hid in it.
"HOLY SHIT!" Gray shouted, jumping backwards.
"Stop swearing in my room!"
"You finally admit that you're in love with that moron?!" Gray said, aghast. "'bout fuckin' time - gotta change my bet…"
"I told you to stop the swearing!" Lucy screeched, smacking him in the face with her pillow. "And don't be so loud!"
"Is that why you were all weird this morning? Did you, like, step down from your Cleopatra throne and accept it just this morning?" Gray asked, pulling out his phone and beginning to text.
With a small shriek, she swiped the phone from his hands. "You will NOT tell ANYONE about this, Gray Fullbuster!" She threw the pillow at him again. "Well yes, I just figured it out this morning, but… What do you mean… Cleopatra?!"
"Yeah." He gave that signature, sexy beast smirk that probably drove Juvia crazy. "Queen of 'de Nile'."
"That's the WORST pun I've ever heard-"
"And I wasn't going to tell anyone; I was just texting Cana to tell her to change my bet. I wasn't going to tell her why!"
"If you tell," Lucy said lowly, voice shaking as she stood and prodded him in the chest, "anyone on earth what I have just told you, I will castrate you. Then I will cook 'it' and serve it to you on your own ribs and the drink will be your blood in a cup made from your intestines."
Gray made the Catholic sign of the cross with his fingers and gulped. "A-aye, sir."
Satisfied, Lucy fell in a heap back to her bed, sitting with her head in her hands.
"Hey… what's wrong?"
"What do you mean 'what's wrong?'" Lucy hissed. "I just told you!"
"I don't see why that's a problem. It was bound to happen." She saw him shrug.
"I-it is a problem," Lucy said, feeling very small, "because I don't know what to do."
"Do?" Gray snorted. "You don't need to do anything."
"But I don't know what's going to happen!" she said, pulling her knees up to her chest.
When Lucy met his eyes, she saw him looking genuinely confused. "Of course you don't. Who does know what's going to happen? Hell, what fun would life be if you knew what was going to happen next? Like, spoilers, much."
She gave out a short laugh that may have been half of a sob. "I-I… you're right. But I just… I don't want this to screw up our friendship, considering how he doesn't feel the same way."
"Oh, bullshit," Gray called instantly. "You'll see. Just cool it, okay? As far as I hear, you're supposed to feel good when you're in love, right? Does it feel good to be around him?"
"Yeah," she whispered.
"Okay." He shrugged easily. "So focus on how it makes you feel good rather than how it makes you sad."
"Easier said than done."
"If anyone can figure it out, you can," Gray promised, heading towards the door. "Don't stay locked up in here all day, alright? Natsu's moping because you didn't want him to come to take a nap, so drag him out of his room. He's playing depressing music and it's pissing me off."
Lucy laughed at that. "Oh, alright." But just before he left, she stiffened. "Wait, Gray."
"Hmm?"
"How did you know… that… coming up for the nap is what he wanted?" Lucy flushed deeply.
Gray dealt her one of his classic 'you're stupid' stares. "I live in the room right next to his. You honestly think I don't know he's been going down to Levy's room for years, or that he comes down here to sleep? Please. Is Natsu the always the big spoon, or do you guys take turns?"
"GET OUT!"
After Lucy had taken a long, long, very hot shower, she sucked up her fear and made her way to the stairs to fulfill Gray's wish of dragging Natsu from his bedroom. She was in some sweatpants and a loose shirt, ready for a Saturday of chilling with her friend and trying to ignore her newfound feelings that would otherwise get in the way.
When she'd reached the top step, however, she ran smack into Gray. "Oh! I was just comin' to see you," he said hurriedly. "It might not actually be a good idea to go in there right now."
She responded in a grimace. "Oh. Making grenades, huh?"
Gray tapped his fingers on the railing uncomfortably. "Uhh, no… he's just having some more relapse. Probably needs space."
"Relapse?"
"Yeah, it's been worse lately, what with the Phantom stuff and now this…" sighed Gray. "The panic attacks, hard time sleeping, and stuff… he's pretty depressed now. Bit difficult to deal with."
"Natsu?" Lucy nearly scoffed in disbelief. "Depressed? Please."
Fingers unbuttoning his shirt, Gray raised an eyebrow. "Yes. It's not like he can help it."
Gripping the railing, Lucy felt her gut twist with concern. "Oh… Well… I'll just see if I can help…"
Gray shrugged helplessly, shirt dangling from the railing. "I've tried to bring him out of it before. He'll come back in a week or two. Be my guest, but don't be surprised when nothing works."
"I have to try," Lucy said, making her way past her friend and down the boy's hall. "Oh, and by the way, Gray… put your shirt back on."
"Dammit…"
When she made it to his door, she indeed heard the music blasting, though Natsu wasn't singing or humming along as usual. He also didn't respond after her three knocks. Considering all the times he swung in, uninvited, through her window while she was getting dressed, she figured she had every right to open the door and step in.
The room was already a mess again since when they'd given it a makeover in November. In fact, it was rather worse, considering Gajeel's stuff strewn everywhere, stained in machine grease.
Natsu was cross-legged on his bed, flicking a lighter on. Off. On. Off.
"Natsu?" she tried, tiptoeing a path through the junk scattered across the floor to sit hesitantly beside him. "Hey."
His response was a grunt. "Hi."
"So…" Ugh, this was so awkward… "Wanna… go train? Or we could play some Mario Kart."
"No, thanks."
The fact that he didn't want to train was the part that seriously concerned her. "Anything… anything I can do for you?"
His face was weary, still not bothering to look at her. Flicking his lighter. On. Off. Then, finally, he murmured, "Yes, actually."
"Okay!" she said, attempting an upbeat attitude. But she inched over by his desk and took his iPhone quickly from the speaker dock so that Gray would stop whining about it. "What's that?"
"I need you to hold this by the wall." Now he turned to her, taking her hand and pressing the lighter to her palm. "And light it. To make it look like the wall is on fire."
That was not close to what she'd expected. "B-but… but then you'll have a panic-"
"Please."
"Natsu, I can't do something that will-"
"Lucy." His voice was nearly begging. "I need you to do this. I need to get over this stupid trigger."
How could she possibly refuse that face?
"If something happens," she warned, closing her fingers over the device, "I will stop."
He sat at attention, eyes locked on the wall. "Light it."
With a wince and a strong feeling she'd regret it, Lucy walked to the wall and flicked the switch, the small flame glimmering to life.
She watched him carefully. His face twitched, but it looked as if he was trying to keep it blank. His hands were clenching, and she could recognize the breathing of him trying to meditate his way through.
The flame licked higher, and that's when he lost it, backing up to the wall with eyes darting around frantically. Cutting the gas and tossing the lighter onto his desk, she scrambled to him, doing as she did only a week ago. It took him less time to recover from the flashback and panic attack, his shudders calming to occasional shivers as she held him to her shoulder.
When he came back to reality, Natsu slumped back against the wall. Lucy copied him, rubbing slow circles into his hand and worriedly trying to meet his eyes.
What he said next was the most un-Natsu-like thing she'd ever heard from his mouth, "I'm a mess."
Lucy nearly choked. "N-Natsu… don't say that!"
He just looked out the window, face matching the somber gray of the sky.
"Natsu."
He breathed out deeply through his nose.
"Natsu…"
Figuring he indeed did need his space, Lucy tried to ignore the rejected feeling that panged in her heart as she slid from the bed, turning to leave him. After all, he'd never liked letting her see him like this.
Lucy squeaked when she felt the scarf whip around her waist and tug her back onto the bed. With a grudging huff, Natsu gathered her to him and sat with her on his lap so that he could rest his chin on her shoulder for comfort.
"N-Natsu, what are you-"
"I'm keeping you," was all he said, sighing as he took out his iPhone and plugged in the earbuds for shuffle.
So there they sat, sharing the headphones, Lucy didn't know for how long, relaxing into one another. Though Lucy remembered her realizations from this morning, and though they made her heart race and cheeks burn for several minutes, she found it didn't make much of a difference. In fact, she barely felt different. All of her friends were right; it was there all along. She had been just too stubborn to admit it.
Lucy played with her pink bracelet, smiling. Even if he may never feel the same way, Gray had also been right; being in love was an extraordinary feeling.
Natsu turned the volume up.
I breathe disaster - ever after
Don't pull away from me now...
Don't you move.
Can't you stay where you are
just for now?
I could be your perfect disaster -
you could be my ever after…
"You're staying?!"
Wendy nodded meekly, flushing as she pet her white cat that they'd recently found out was named Charle. She still bore a few band-aids, but that was the extent of her injuries; she'd been in the infirmary and staying in a guest room for a while. Lucy had seen the master of Caitshelter come to visit Wendy just yesterday. "Y-yes. My guild was nearly too small as it was, and now that our building is destroyed… everyone had to join new ones. I figured I may as well stay here…"
Though he would usually punch the air and jump around, Natsu now just offered a grin. Lucy's smile was sad as she looked at him; it had taken her a long time to coax him down for dinner, and she could tell he was trying to hold it together for everyone.
Gajeel narrowed his eyes at their new member from across their usual table, kitten sitting on his head. "Weird, how that works out. All of us together again, huh?"
As Gray, Juvia, Erza, Jellal, and Team Shadowgear took their seats along the bench with the dragon slayers and Lucy, Wendy stuttered, "Wh-what? Who's together again?"
"Figured you wouldn't remember," Natsu said, using a spoon to play with his pudding. "May as well come out and say it; Gajeel and I are your adoptive cousins. From back when you were with Grandeeney."
Wendy squeaked, caught off guard, and Gajeel chuckled, "Gihi, you were such a tiny little thing. When we went to Grandeeney's house, we'd fight about who got ta carry ya around and swing ya back and forth in this sheet that we held on each side…"
Lucy was relieved to see Natsu smile even wider. "I remember that! And we'd push you on that little airplane swing on that massive oak tree… Man I fell off of that tree once..."
"Yer fault for being stupid enough to try and climb higher than me," Gajeel scoffed, taking a chug from his mug.
"I...I don't remember," Wendy confessed, twisting her little dress in her hands.
Natsu ruffled her blue hair in a brotherly way that warmed Lucy's heart. Happy crawled from his lap to Charle, sniffing her and purring until the white cat whapped him across the nose with her paw.
"You were too little to remember much," assured Natsu. "That's fine. But now we can be cousins and teach you a buncha dragon slayer skill!"
Wendy seemed more anxious than ever, but she smiled anyway. "Th-that would be great!"
"Am I the only one," Levy spoke up, "that finds it a little odd that all three of you were adopted by brothers and sisters of the same family, are all dragon slayers, all don't know your past before your adoptive parents, all knew each other as children, all showed up at guilds, and were all left on the same day?"
Everyone stopped in mid chew, turning slowly to the slayers. The two boys were frowning, blinking in thought. Then, at once, Natsu and Gajeel shrugged. "Yeah, you are."
Lucy held on to the thought. "That is very strange…"
"Coincidence," Natsu muttered, taking a bite of a chicken leg.
She was about to say more, but Natsu gave her this strange look. One of warning.
"An' our parents weren't actually all from the same family," Gajeel grumbled. "Metalicana and Igneel were actual brothers, and they were friends of Skiadrum and Weisslogia, who were brothers too. Grandeeney wasn't related to any of 'em. But they all knew each other so well that we were all considered cousins."
"I… Didn't actually know that," Natsu said, raising his eyebrows.
"How could you not?!" scoffed Gajeel. "Yer dad was always flirtin' with Wendy's mom…"
"He was?!" Natsu choked. "Oh my Mavis… gross…"
"So Wendy," Gajeel said, obviously trying to change the direction of the conversation. "You remember nothin' huh?"
"I-I do remember…" Wendy tugged on the end of some of her hair. "I remember Grandeeney taking me flying…"
"Oh yeah, she was a pilot…" Natsu reminisced. "I went flying with her once too. Nearly barfed my lungs out… So whaddya like to do for fun? We need ta throw a party for you or somethin'!"
She's so cute! Lucy internally squealed as she watched Wendy only blush more deeply. "W-well I do like ninjitsu and just being with friends… But I really like anything to do with flying too. I want to be a pilot someday, like she was…"
"You like flying, huh?" Natsu said distantly, eyes becoming brighter than they'd been all day. "Hey Gajeel… I have an idea. And I need your help."
"'fraid I can't get involved in your ideas," Gajeel sighed back without hesitation. "Hell hasn't frozen over yet."
"It will when I tell you my idea, 'cause you're gonna love this…"
Good day, earthlings!
So this took longer than it should have… and so did Lucy coming out of denial, hehe. Well now she knows! And here's where the Nalu intensifies… and the song usage of Ever After by Mariana's trench for Nalu was swordbreaker/platinum-breaker/chanime's idea...
I know you're gonna say Natsu's depression was too sudden. Guys, depression can be set off by tiny things and especially in his recent fragile state. I dunno, it made sense to me. And we'll get more of Wendy next chapter; I know she didn't get too much of a spotlight here. As far as Ultear… well I don't really like describing funerals too much. Sorry. And sorry for the wait… ugh life…
SO SWORDBREAKER (AKA platinum-breaker/chanime/bestie) MADE THIS SIX PAGE COMIC THING ON A NALU SCENE IN CHAPTER 13 AND IT'S ON MY BLOG GO LOOK BECAUSE SHE'S FANTASTIC OMG I NEARLY CRIED IT'S BEAUTIFUL - AND BEFORE THAT SHE DID THE SCENE LAST CHAPTER WHEN NATSU GAVE LUCY THE PINK EEK WHAT WHY IS RICHA SO AMAZING LIKE HOW
AND blazexkeys ON TUMBLR ALSO DID THIS AWESOME NINJA NATSU PICTURE THAT WAS JUST SO FANTASTIC LIKE THE I CAN'T EVEN CAN YOU EVEN 'CAUSE I CAN'T SO GO CHECK THAT OUT TOO HEHE.
Meh, haven't even started the next chapter yet… O.o Better get on that while I have the chance… big stage crew and more homework coming up after my four day weekend. One of my childhood friends that I haven't seen in person for years… well I found out that he died on Tuesday. No one here knows why. I just can't forget how I never returned his last Snapchat. What if he killed himself? What if I could have talked him out of it if I had answered him? I just don't know what to feel… I'm still in some pretty deep denial so that's why I'm not reacting more.
Anyway. I'll do as always, and distract myself with writing this story and going on tumblr and eating and watching anime.
*Manga spoiler*
*muffled screaming*
THE NALU OMG THEY'RE MATCHING CLOTHES AGAIN AND THE HEIGHT DIFFERENCE AND wait Charle what…
(I really wanted a Lucy/Natsu spar, dangit…)
Reviewer questions and concerns! You guys are my motivation every day. :) And my faith in humanity haha just a bunch of people that stop to comment and brighten my day… you should really know just how amazing you are.
All of your theories… hehehehehehehe… oh this is fun… They shall be revealed… EVENTUALLY!
The pink bracelet hehehe no way I'm telling you SORRY LOVES!
Juvia and Gray indeed do seem to be getting closer and well, since this is set in our world, Juvia already changes outfits every day. :)
Well, the rest of the guild won't really find out about Lucy's abuse. Natsu knows, so…
Yup. :) My sister has anxiety and ADD, one of my friends has ADD, and one of my best friends has ADHD. They're kinda what I base it off of. Sorry if they ever seem inaccurate, but I do try and pinpoint them as much as possible…
As for the people in hoods, I can't tell you. :3
Oh yesh, in one of the earlier chapters it says Hades went missing, and I guess I just gonna killed him off, in my mind, haha… yeah...
Ooo, key questions… that I can't answer… HEHEHE sorry
I will try to get in the spirits as characters in a small role at some point. :)
Yesh, red is after pink. :)
Oh yeah, when Gray is explaining Dragon Force, he mentions how it makes Natsu more durable, AKA tougher skin and body.
I can't wait to write the Grand Ninjitsu Games! O.O
Thanks so much NightLocker! I'll definitely use them. Haha yeah, but in this the fighting is based off of several martial arts other than taekwando, so I kinda combined several terms and techniques. :) IT'S SO AWESOME OF YOU TO GIVE ME THE INFO THANK YOU!
Hehe I know only a little sign language, like 'I love you' and 'please'...
Oh right, the song at the end of last one was Fire and Rain by James Taylor. Great song for healing during grief.
Hehe no, Igneel not inside Natsu… O.O That would be weird in a non-magic AU… yeah I couldn't pull that off haha.
Wendy shall get more badass as the story goes on! :)
Oh yes, it was chapter 16 and 28, when the Phantom members attacked first and when Lucy went to her father's when she lied.
Yup, that was Zeref, and nope, Natsu didn't know him.
Huh, I dunno about doing the talking to characters thing in the AN, haha. I think my notes might be too long already and I wouldn't really know what to talk about…
Oh the three Lucy has seen die is her mom, Jose, and Ultear.
SORRY FOR THE WAIT BUT HOPE YOU ENJOYED AND SEE YA NEXT WEEK PROBABLY AND I LOVE YOU
Mizpah,
~LoneStorm