AGAIN: I have no ownership, rights, connection of any kind to Castle. I also have no ownership rights to The Human Target, Suits, Numb3rs, Bones, Blue Bloods, The District, or their characters.
All reviews welcome. I only ask that you be polite and constructive. Feel free to point out grammatical, spelling, or factual errors. I do a lot of editing so sometimes cut and paste errors may slip through. Please let me know.
AN: First, Sideways has finally made it to 100 followers. TheDieHard777 put it over the top. But thank you all for your support. :-)
I went back on forth on this chapter. I wasn't sure if I wanted to go through with it, but I decided to go through with it because I felt it was pretty damned funny.
January 4, 2004 Sunday
RICK'S KITCHEN
Rick's landline rang.
"Hey Tony," he greeted on duty doorman at the other end of the line, "How's your mom doing? She feeling better? That's great."
Someone then started yelling in the background.
"By the sound of shrieking in the background, I regret not having armed. No, send her up. Thanks Tony and sorry for your hearing loss."
"What's wrong daddy?"
"Lady Voldemort is here."
At that Jango yelped and ran for Alexis' bedroom.
"That is one smart if cowardly dog."
"I'll be in my room, building a fort," Alexis said jumping off her chair and following her dog.
"You're going to abandon me just like that?"
"Yes, sir," she said turning around with big smile and cute salute before scampering towards her room, "Come get me if you need me cause I'll have my music on loud. Her voice really carries."
"I should've had a boy."
"I heard that!"
Then came the door buzzer. Here comes a bucket of acidic cold water.
As he opened the door, in walked an attractive and well endowed woman with jet black hair in a tight bun wearing a tight and tailored red with black trim suit with black stiletto heels carrying an obscenely expensive black leather briefcase on a shoulder strap.
"Good morning to you too Paula. You're looking lovely as ever."
"Don't start that boyish charm stuff on me Richard Castle," she asked in a nasally Queens accent, "How could you do this to me?"
"Do what to you?"
"When you decided to do this police hobby of yours, I went along with it."
"You threatened to dismember me," he said deadpan.
"But I didn't follow through,now did I?" she said continuing to pace around the loft, "When you cut back on your book signings and public appearances, I tried to be supportive."
"That time you threatened to castrate me."
"Again, I didn't. And when you cut back on the rate of books you produced, I made it work."
"You tried to run me over with your car."
"That was an accident. You got me so mad, I hit the wrong pedal."
"You backed up and tried again! Ethan and Colin had to draw down on you."
"Whatever," she said with a wave of her hand, "As you agent, I think I've been very patient and accommodating."
"The sad part is that as agents go, that is true," Rick said rolling his eyes, "So, why are you here Paula?"
"How dare you go off and get married without telling me?"
"I didn't."
"Oh, then who the hell is Kate Castle?"
NEW ROCHELLE, NEW YORK
"It's show time," Justin said simply.
Mike and Ethan just watched from the front seat as the U.S. Marshals moved into the main branch of the bank, while Justin monitored the various video feeds they setup.
"Anything going on at the other sites?" Mike asked.
"Nothing we didn't expect. It's Sunday so none of the Latin Kings seem to be around. To much of the wrong color in WASP-ville would attract too much attention. Could this place be any more white bread or boring. Even the crooked bank is picture perfect."
"And here comes the crooked banker," Ethan said looking through binoculars.
"You sure it's him?" Royce asked.
"Oh yeah, a lot less hair. A bit more gut. Same smug attitude even with armed U.S. Marshals all around him."
"Probably figures a call to his representative in Congress will clear this matter right up," Justin said sarcastically.
"I wonder if he'll look so smug when all his friends stop taking his calls?" Mike asked rhetorically as flipped through a small book, "Ah this is good."
"What?" Ethan asked.
"Reduce the hostile chiefs by inflicting damage on them; and make trouble for them, and keep them constantly engaged; hold out specious allurements, and make them rush to any given point."
"Chapter 8, Lesson 10," Justin commented, "Which means in this case?"
"We have Bracken and his cronies so busy reacting to problems, chasing false leads, and getting generally exhausted that they can only react, they have no chance to actually figure out what's going on."
"The bitch of it is that Bracken can't even react the way he's used to with all the security on him," Ethan adds, "He either risks being monitored saying things he shouldn't to people he shouldn't be talking to, or he has to sit tight and wait it out, the most he will be able to do is very slow communications."
"Whoomp! There It Is!" Justin suddenly declared.
"Seriously, you did not just say that," Ethan said lowering and shaking his head, "I've never been more ashamed of you than I am at this moment."
Mike Royce could barely stifle a laugh.
"What do have kid," the ex-bounty hunter asked.
"They found the first drug store. Oh, now the second. And the third."
"Still no signs of bad guys?"
"Nope, just a lot of U.S. Marshals with happy and rather shocked faces. Also, a lot of families with very sad faces. A lot of kids who are looking at being handed off to children's services."
"Getting sentimental on me baby brother?"
"These were just desperate people who were trying to hold on to their piece of the American dream. Now…"
"You just wish there was a way to do this without hurting the kids," Mike finished.
J. EDGAR HOOVER BUILDING, WASHINGTON, D.C.
Supervisory Special Agent Tobias Fornell was looking through the latest analysis when an African-American agent in his early thirties knocked on the door.
"Sir."
"Sacks, everything I have in front of me says that we have everyone in here on a Sunday chasing a gigantic practical joke."
"Still, a possible hit on a U.S. Senator, in an election year no less," pointing up, "He doesn't want to be the first director since Hoover to lose a U.S. Senator."
"And if that happens, all of us are going to be permanently assigned to Guam checking for poisonous snakes in the well wells of C-130s so tell me you have something "
"Apparently, tech traced some of the money transfers between Rampling and his possible employers through a small bank of in New Rochelle, New York called The Bank of The New Netherlands. Fairly small bank with some really old money in it. In fact, Bracken's blind trust uses that bank for most of its activities. How's that for a coincidence. "
"Rule 39: There is no such thing as coincidence."
"Are you actually quoting one of Gibbs' rules."
"Hey, it was mine first," Fornell barked with a scowl which then turned into a wiley grin.
"Yes, sir! So, you think someone is using Bracken's own money to finance a hit?"
"Well, we could actually do our jobs and investigate like the 'I' in our name, but maybe it's easier to sit here spit out oddball theories until we get jobs on basic cable. Ron?"
"Sir?"
"Go get me a warrant for that bank."
"There's no need sir."
"There isn't?"
"U.S. Marshals are in the process of raiding it right now."
"Of course they are," the older agent replies deadpan. Another coincidence.
"I called a contact at the Marshals, the way they are taking things out of there, that bank's going to be an empty storefront by this evening."
"What are the charges?"
"Ah...everything. You name a scam and they've been running it...for years."
"And someone just noticed now?"
The whole thing came out of the New York AG's office and the New York Department of banking.
"I am so going to regret asking this but how did they get onto this bank so quickly."
"The AG has a standing project with some special nerd unit of the State Police to look for suspect financial institutions."
"The Studies and Analysis Section?" Fornell said rubbing his face with his hands.
"That's them. They just sent their findings over and everything took off from there."
"Alright, get us on a plane to New York for tomorrow."
"How soon can we get a look at what they've collected?"
"That'll be the up to the Marshal in charge of evidence collection, "Except he's not all that fond of the Bureau or you."
"You don't mean…"
OFFICE OF DICK COONAN
"Oversimplifying how?" Coonan asked the Afghan information broker.
"In 1973, Arab countries began an Oil Embargo against the West to punish them for supporting Israel. Even though the U.S. was drawing down from the Vietnam war, the Cold War with the Soviets was still on and an embargo could still prove crippling to the U.S. military.
"The story goes that President Nixon made it clear to King Faisal of Saudi Arabia that if the King did not start providing oil for the U.S. Military, the U.S. Military would come and take it. How much of this threat was serious and how much was bluster is unknown. However, the King, who hated Communism more than he hated Israel, relented and allowed secret shipments of oil American forces."
"And how the fuck does that history lesson answer my question."
"The Latin Kings aren't just going to sit and wait for you to get up and running again while rivals steal their customers. In order to keep the Kings as customers, you will to buy what you need somewhere. Given your known weakened condition, any seller will gouge you on the price. Even if temporarily buy a loss, the price may still be too high. Simmons can easily undercut, the Kings will resort to violence to keep a monopoly in their territory.
"From there, it's just a matter of options. Do you let the Latin Kings stumble around from shootout to shootout in a chaotic fashion that can only bring increased law enforcement involvement. Let us not forget that the current Police Commissioner's focus on community outreach, conflict resolution, and gang relations have been most effective in Simmons' territory."
"Gray...that stupid N-"
"Now, now Mr. Coonan," the Afghan said sternly but with a forced smile, "Let's leave the traditional Irish-American racism aside. Although I've found no evidence of Commissioner Gray being employed by or partnered with Vulcan Simmons, their common ethnicity and Gray's imbecilic policing methods has made the Latin Kings believe this to be the case and that is enough to spur action. Apparently, deep analysis is beyond them."
"You said it was a matter of options, as in more than one."
"Yes, the term that Mr. Rumsfeld likes to use so often, Shock and Awe. While the Latin Kings still have the strength, develop an well organized plan and remove the competition quickly. There will be a high body count, but after it's done, all there will be nothing left for the police to do is write the reports.
"Otherwise, however you look at it Mr. Coonan, your situation can be summed up in one rude word which you seem to enjoy using a great deal."
NYSP STUDIES & ANALYSIS SECTION HQ
Colin and Roland spent a few minutes recounting the events of the morning deceiving their mutual lady friends.
"Looks like all three of us are going to lose our girlfriends at the end of this," Colin observed stoically.
"You might not. The story in New Rochelle could get boost Charlie's career. She'll be very grateful."
"I'm not sure it works that way brother, but moving on, Phase Two of Operation Laurents seems to be progressing according to plan. How're you doing preparing for Phase Three?"
"Without an exact idea of where the target is, all I can do is study the water, sewer, power, and other infrastructure planes for the area. That way I can come up with a plan quicker once we know where the rats nest is."
"How's that going by the way?"
"Serena agreed to Leece's plan."
"Still not sure I like it," Colin said looking down, "Maybe Nessa is right, we're getting overprotective."
"Considering what we're up to, I'm not sure there is such a thing as being overprotective. Rick wasn't too thrilled on it either, but we are running low on time. We'll make sure she has plenty of backup," Roland said very seriously.
"Well, Phase Three now kicks off Phase Four. Forestall your opponent by seizing what he holds dear, and subtly contrive to time his arrival on the ground."
"Chapter 11, Lesson 66," Roland observed, "How long do you think before our Dutch banker from New Rochelle cracks?"
"Oh, I give it until Wednesday at the latest."
"Why so long?"
"The Marshals are going to keep him and his family secluded. His access to his lawyer will be take time to arrange. His lawyers attempt at contacting the Senator will take time to attempt given the security screen on Bracken. Everything will have to go through Alderton.
"At that point, it doesn't matter if he talks or not. Coonan and Bracken aren't going to leave anyone with that much information lying around. They'll retire him and quickly. We just need to make sure we pick the time and place of the retirement party."
"Speaking of Chapter 11, Lesson 66," Roland brought up, "What about seizing the other thing the thing the enemy holds dear?"
"Once we get the sign off from the Mayor, we grab Raglan. We'll arrange for them to be arraigned at the same time. Van Cortlandt will be in White Plains at the Westchester Court House. Raglan will be at Center Street."
"We'll spread the word that they're both going into WitSec as soon as they're arraigned. They will not have too much time to move."
RICK'S LOFT
Rick just kept laughing.
"This is not funny Richard!"
"Paula calm down. Look, I don't know what you've heard, but I didn't get married."
"Oh, and she's just one of Alexis' imaginary friends."
"First of all, Alexis doesn't have imaginary friends. That's me," his attempt at humor fell flat, "And the woman you're likely referring to is named Kate Beckett so calm down. And I only proposed to her."
"What does this woman do? Model, actress, stripper, porn star?"
"New York City Police Detective."
"Of course she is, and when did you meet this woman."
"Last Monday," he said nervously.
Paula's face when ashen with shock.
"So, you met this woman this past Monday."
"Yes. Well no."
"Which is it?"
"Well, we men when were kids. I was 13, she was 5. I made some kids stop picking on her. Then, we lost touch."
"OK, I actually work with that, and when did you propose to her?"
"New Years Eve."
"So waited a whopping two days before proposing."
"Yea, but she hasn't accepted."
"Don't lie to me Richard. There are sightings of you and this woman and she was wearing some serious hardware on her left ring finger. "
"Yeah, as a prank, I may have slipped my mother's rings on her while she slept so when she woke up she would think we...you know."
"I see. How did you get the opportunity to slip the rings on?"
"Oh, she spent the night, but nothing happened."
"Nothing happened?" Paula looked at him disbelievingly.
"I swear. She came over because she thought I had information on an important case. She waited for me down in the bar. The manager, Madison, is an old friend of hers. They had too much to drink catching up so she stayed the night."
OK, it's not the exact truth, but the less Paula knows, the less Kate will hurt me...I hope.
"Besides, I told her that I wouldn't sleep with her until after we were married."
"Why aren't you this creative with your books."
"I'm not making this up. Latter on, we took Alexis and Mary Ro ice skating…"
"Oh how domestic."
"Serena had to work so she helped me out. And there was the usual predatory single moms."
"Predatory single moms?"
"Imagine a pack of Meredith's sizing me up for a the kill or worse, a wedding ring. We realized she had forgotten to take the rings off."
"Yeah, it happens to me all the time."
"It's true Paula. Anyway, we decided to have some fun by making them think we were married. Word somehow got back to Meredith because she showed up Saturday morning."
"And I bet you decided to have some fun with her too."
"Actually, Alexis did. Meredith was supposed to take her shopping for a dress but forgot, so Alexis got even by pretending Kate was her new mom."
"Wait, she spent the night again?"
"Yeah. She was out without enough warm clothing and got mild hypothermia. She stayed here so we could keep an eye on her. Again…"
"Nothing happened," she said mockingly, "Where is she now?"
"In my bedroom...taking a shower," he said sheepishly.
"Let me guess, she stayed the night again last night too."
"I had to go to Southampton on police business so she stayed with Alexis until I could get back. By the time I did, they were fast asleep."
"With four sisters, two of which live in this building, you naturally pick the woman you met less than a week ago."
"Hey, it Alexis' idea. She's become attached to her in like world's record time."
"So, you let a five year old pick her own baby sister?" Paula said with a disapproving look.
"Actually, Alexis has decided that she wants Kate as her new step mom. She has a list of candidates and Kate is the top."
"So, you're letting a five year old pick your next wife?"
"Well, you've seen what happens when I do it."
"A valid point. So, this woman has slept in your apartment three nights in a row. She's babysitting your daughter, and she's been wearing your mother's rings."
"Paula, I know how it sounds, but we didn't get married."
"Do you think I'm an idiot, Richard. I didn't just come here with some second hand rumors," she said pulling papers out of a briefcase and handing it to him, "These papers where delivered to me, and according to the State of Nevada you and this Kate are married."
"We're what?!" a voice said from behind.
You know I never thought my life would end this way. Seriously, I never saw this coming.
Please don't be too mad. And I decided to put in a cliffhanger just so you could spend some time wondering I how I'm going to explain it.
AGAIN: I have no ownership, rights, connection of any kind to Castle. I also have no ownership rights to The Human Target, Suits, Numb3rs, Bones, Blue Bloods, The District, or their characters.
All reviews welcome. I only ask that you be polite and constructive. Feel free to point out grammatical, spelling, or factual errors. I do a lot of editing so sometimes cut and paste errors may slip through. Please let me know.
AN: First, Sideways has finally made it to 100 followers. TheDieHard777 put it over the top. But thank you all for your support. :-)
I went back on forth on this chapter. I wasn't sure if I wanted to go through with it, but I decided to go through with it because I felt it was pretty damned funny.