Chapter 36

XXXXX

Danny entered the dimly light hospital corridor in search of room 1103. He passed a bulletin board that was decorated with bright watercolors and crafts made from macaroni, cotton balls and glitter. Artwork made with small hands and a lot of enthusiasm. He finally reached the room at the far end of the hall and went inside.

Diego was asleep in one of the two twin size hospital beds and Emma sat on a chair next to him, holding his hand. He took a few steps in and she looked up, her eyes puffy and swollen. He strode directly to her and she stood up, meeting him halfway.

She grabbed his hand and gestured for them to talk outside. Once they were in the hallway, she immediately wrapped her arms around him and breathed, "I'm so glad you're here."

He kissed her on the crown of her head and whispered, "Its okay, whatever it is, we'll get through it."

Her head was still pressed against his chest as she nodded. She clenched the back of his shirt tightly with her fists as she began to sob; her shoulders hunching each time her she tried to take a breath.

He held her to him and soothed, "Babe, what's going on? You're scaring me."

She didn't reply right away. Her crying slowed down and she finally took a step back to look up and met his eyes. "I'm sorry," she said. "It's just been hard trying to put on a brave front all day."

He reached over and gently wiped some tears from her cheeks. "It's okay." He pulled her back into the embrace, looking over at their sleeping son. "I'm here now. Talk to me."

When her breathing steadied out she relaxed into his arms and whispered, "I just still can't believe it…"

His entire body tensed up, he remembered the last time she spoke to him in that tone. It was the day she told him that Martin's girlfriend Ruby had died. He swallowed and asked, "Tell me, what is it?"

She released her embrace and cradled his hands in hers. She took a deep breath and in a thin and shaky voice she said, "Danny, Diego has Leukemia."

He stood there trying to process what she was telling him. The ER attendee was concerned that Diego's head wound wouldn't stop bleeding, the blood refusing to clot so they ran a series of tests to determine what was going on and that's when they discovered some abnormalities in his blood work. She couldn't believe it so she had them run the tests again and again, they came back positive. He had Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia but the good news is that they caught it early. She and the oncologist were hopeful that Diego would make a full recovery.

He bit his lip and choked out, "But he's sick, right? I mean, even though we caught it early he's going to have to get chemotherapy, maybe a bone marrow transplant…"

A solemn expression appeared on her face as she whispered, "Yes." She turned around so she could look at Diego sleeping, his chest rising and falling with each breath. "He's going to have a tough time ahead of him."

He pulled her closer to him, more to steady himself that comfort her. His boy was sick, very sick. It seemed that Diego was always the one to get sicker than the other boys but Danny never gave it much thought. He was just so happy that his boy was alive and well because when he was an infant he scared Danny more than he could ever have imagined. He looked back at his son, cursing that God would put him through so much before he was even 11 years old. He rubbed Emma's back and in a determined voice said, "Diego is strong, he got better before – he can do it again."

XXX

Danny walked around the neo-natal unit, cradling four-month old Diego in his arms. His baby boy was whimpering but not really crying. He had been listless for awhile now and the meds didn't seem to be helping bring his fever down, his skin was still hot to the touch. He wished Emma would hurry up and get back. He just felt better when she was here since she was a doctor and could explain what was normal and what was cause for concern. Of course, considering Diego had been admitted to the hospital for a respiratory virus and a double viral/bacterial pneumonia it was all cause for concern.

It was that night that he decided it was a mixed blessing being married to a doctor. She knew all the possible scenarios they might be facing and if it made her scared, it didn't do anything to minimize his fears. And he hated this feeling. When he found out he was going to be a father he vowed to protect his sons from all dangers. He baby proofed the apartment from top to bottom, he upped his life insurance policy, and he was a special agent in the FBI so he knew what dangers lurked out there for kids. What he didn't count on was some microscopic villain invading his son's body and not being able to do a damn thing about it.

He paced the length of the small room, gently swaying his son in his arms to try and soothe him. It was strange to think how he didn't even know this tiny person up until a few months ago but now, he felt like his heart would crack apart without him in his life.

Emma walked into the room wearing the hospital garb that they were required to wear to prevent further infection. She looked like she was getting ready to scrub in for surgery rather than visit her son. "Hey, how's he doing?"

"The same," he replied as he gently bounced Diego in his arms. "How's Mikey?"

She walked over and caressed Diego's small cheek with her finger whispering, "Sam said he is doing just fine but now Martin is looking at her like he wants a baby, too." The baby finally started to settle down so she leaned against Danny, swaying in rhythm. "Do you think she'll ever change her mind about having kids? She's great with the twins and her nieces."

Danny laughed softly. "She changed her mind about marriage. I guarantee you she will change her mind about having kids."

The door opened and Dr. Thomas Sico walked in the room. He was an older man with a stout frame and he always rested his wire rim glasses on that perch just between his forehead and receding hairline. He gave them a solemn smile and asked, "How's he doing?"

Emma squared her shoulders and replied, "You tell me, Tom. What are the results of the test?"

Tom stepped over and looked down at Diego's bundled up form. He took a deep breath and faced Emma as he said, "I think we are going to need to do a spinal tap to test for meningitis."

Danny froze at the word. Emma had told him that her big fear was that Diego may have contracted the disease because the test for it was painful and dangerous. She wouldn't elaborate beyond that but the words scared him more than enough to pray that their boy didn't have it.

Emma's voice trembled as she said, "Are you absolutely sure? Did you check his…?"

Tom reached over and placed his hand on her shoulder, looking at her sympathetically. "Emma, you know I wouldn't do the test unless I thought it was absolutely necessary." She nodded her head and looked at Danny, her worried eyes watching him as Tom continued, "I think the sooner the better. We finally got his fever down but it's still there so I'd like to know how to proceed as soon as possible." He looked up at Danny and added, "I'm going to go make the arrangements for the test. Please bring Diego down to exam room at the end of the hall. I also need for you both to decide which one of you will be there for the test."

Once Tom was gone, Danny looked at Emma and asked, "What did he mean by 'which one' of us will be there?"

Emma sighed and said, "It's just easier if there is only one parent there to hold the baby. It will keep Diego focused instead of looking back and forth between us. He needs to be as still as possible." She reached over and Diego gripped her index finger with his tiny little hand. "I think I should be the one to do it."

"Why, because you're a doctor?" he asked, suddenly feeling very defensive.

She looked up at him with her big green eyes. "There's that but…I can't explain it but there is something instinctual telling me that I need to be the one. I don't know if it's the doctor in me talking or maternal instincts, I just know it should be me."

He wished he could say he wanted to put up an argument but he had to admit that he was relieved that she wanted to do it. He would have done it if she had asked but deep down he was grateful that it wouldn't have to be him in there when they conducted the test. Emma told him that someone had to hold the baby as still as possible so that the doctor could stick a long needle in his back and withdraw some spinal fluid. He didn't think he could bear seeing his son endure that sort of procedure.

He nodded his head in agreement and he carefully placed Diego into her arms. He placed his hand under Diego's small head and whispered, "I love you mijo."

Emma didn't leave right away; she just stood there rocking him in her arms. He knew that she wasn't doing it so much for their son's benefit but taking a minute to mentally prepare herself for what she was about to do. After a few beats she inhaled deeply and looked up at Danny. "We'll be right back."

He nodded his head, fixing his eyes on hers, mentally giving her courage. She exhaled and then exited the room.

XXX

He could still remember that sinking lost feeling of not knowing if their son would make it through the night. But after the procedure, Tom told them that it was all clear and they all breathed a collective sigh of relief. Eventually Diego's fever went down and that's when they knew that he was going to get better.

Now here he was again, sitting with Emma praying that their son was going to be okay. And once again, all he could do was sit and wait to see how it would all turn out; powerless to do anything else but wait and pray that his son would survive this as well.