Kurt walked out to the foyer, feeling more than a little giddy. He stopped when he saw the man standing before him.
Sam was wearing an olive green fighter pilot uniform, with, as far as Kurt could tell from the opened zipped, not much underneath.
Kurt swallowed. "Sam?"
Sam looked around at the sound of Kurt's voice in surprise. His eyes widened.
"Kurt? What are you doing here?"
"Um...I'm the party...planner..." Kurt said slowly.
"But some guy called," Sam checked the back of his hand, where something was written in smudged ink, "Stephalex booked me here." He frowned. "Not sure if that's a real name or if I just mixed up the letters again."
Kurt shook his head. "Steph and Alex. Yeah, they're my friends. They're here too." He bit his lip. Alex was going to be very disappointed that his gift would fall through, but Kurt would try to explain it to him. "It's Sebastian's birthday. But it's okay, you don't have to do it."
Sam frowned at the smudge on his hand, annoyed with himself for the mix up. He thought about it for a minute. He could bow out and head home. But he was counting on the money and Sebastian was important to Kurt, and Kurt was his friend.
"If it's all the same...I don't mind doing it," he said with a little shrug. "I really need the money."
"Are you sure you're ok with this?" Kurt asked carefully. "I mean, dancing for a guy...?"
Sam shrugged. "It can't be any different than dancing for girls."
Kurt considered his funds. With Wonka coming up next month, he could afford to be generous. "I can pay you anyway," he offered. "I mean, if you need it...you're not in trouble, are you?"
Sam shook his head. "No, I'm not in trouble. I uh….signed a lease on an apartment," he said, scratching his head. "It's only a shoebox studio...but after the whole fiasco with Blaine, I kinda realised that I can't just keep couch surfing you know?" He looked at Kurt. "You know I'm really sorry about all that, don't you?"
Kurt smiled. "I know. You told me quite a few times already. And I doubt I would have found out the truth without you." He shook his head. It would have gone on and on...He might even have married Blaine! Sam spilling the beans was the best thing that could have happened. It could have happened sooner, but at least it did.
"You seem happier..." Sam said observing his friend. "How are you?"
Kurt looked over his shoulder to the living room and his high spirits returned. "I am happy, Sam. I feel welcome here. It feels like, for the first time, I have friends who are not competing against me."
Sam smiled at Kurt as he spoke. He really did belong here with these people. They accepted him without question, in a way the New Directions never had.
"I'm happy for you," he said honestly.
Suddenly there were a lot of things Kurt wanted to tell Sam. About Wonka, about karaoke and cooking and Coney Island, and he longed to reconnect with his friend. But first, there was this gig.
"I think everyone's waiting for you in there," he said shyly. "Do you want me to wait out here?"
Sam looked towards the room, feeling his game face come back on.
"Nah, I don't get my junk out and you're paying for the show..." Sam said smiling. "Come watch...unless it'd be too weird for you."
Kurt blushed. "A little weird, yes, but...from a dancer point of view...I might learn something." He hoped the excuse worked. "Nice suit, by the way," he offered as a distraction.
"Thanks. Alex or Steph must have picked it. I have a few outfits on the website and this was the one requested. I stole most of them from Glee club, to be honest. This was Joe's from when Mr Shue made us do 80s film theme songs," Sam said, putting on a pair of mirrored aviator shades and picking up a boombox. "I feel the need...the need for speed."
Kurt smirked. "Take my breath away."
Sam put his music on. The first few bars of of the Top Gun soundtrack started playing loudly, before being replaced by a pumping fast remix of Danger Zone.
Kurt watched him go and followed behind, trapping his lip between his teeth. Time to indulge in one of his high school fantasies come to life.
Alex had found Sebastian and set him up on a loveseat in the middle of the living room. At the sound of the music Sebastian looked up at Alex.
"You didn't?" he asked, his mouth going dry.
"Damn straight I did, you're my bro and it's your birthday...Steph picked him out though."
Sebastian felt his alcohol buzz fade away as realisation of what was about to happen hit him. Then he caught a flash of a uniform and oh if he didn't love a man in a uniform...wait - wasn't that Sam?
Sam walked into the living room and put the music player on the floor. He spotted Sebastian on the loveseat and lowered his sunglasses for a moment, giving him a small nod as they made eye contact. Then he pushed his glasses back, popped up his collar, and effortlessly slipped into a choreography of body rolls and undulations that ended in bodybuilder poses at each beat, each a little more suggestive than the next.
Kurt was amazed by Sam's control. His isolations were perfect, and he could drop to his knees and veer back up onto his feet seemingly effortlessly. Kurt swallowed as he saw where this was headed - every move, every roll of Sam's hips brought him closer to Sebastian, until he was right in front of him. With the last beats of the song, Sam struck a rigid pose, saluting Sebastian. As the next song started, Sam slowly lowered his hand to pull down the zipper on his fighter coverall down to his waist, and revealed that he was, indeed, not wearing anything but dog tags and a pair of camouflage briefs.
He took a few steps back, spun on his heels, and pulled the sleeves down off his shoulders, one after the other, until the coverall hung off his hips. A few people in the audience cheered and whistled. He struck a few more poses to the beat of the song, letting his muscles roll, and then walked back to Sebastian, putting one foot up on the seat next to Sebastian's thigh.
Sam pushed his glasses up in his hair to look Sebastian in the eyes, and slowly pulled the rest of his zipper down to his crotch. Perfectly timed to the music, he set his foot down on the floor and the coverall fell to his ankles, allowing him to step out of it. He took Sebastian's hand, and placed it flat on his abs, rolling the muscles under his fingers to the beat as he pumped his arm up and down, flexing his biceps.
Kurt frowned. Was touching even permitted?
Sebastian ran his hand down Sam's well-defined chest. He was gorgeous. It had been months since Sebastian had touched another man, and boy did he feel it.
Sam was hot.
He brought his other hand up to join the one caressing Sam's skin and ran both hands around his waist, his brain short-circuiting a little.
Alex whistled between his teeth and pulled Steph closer to his side. Kurt noticed that all the couples at the party seemed to be getting a little more touchy-feely, and he clenched his jaw. He watched Sam slip his sunglasses back over his eyes, and felt his stomach turn to lead. It was like he was slipping into anonymity, and Kurt felt the worst was yet to come.
Sam lead Sebastian's hands to his buttocks and flexed, pumping his hips suggestively.
Sebastian stared up at him. He remembered what Kurt had told him about Sam. It was hard to not be attracted to him. Well, Kurt was right. Even if Sam was straight (which Sebastian doubted a little more every second), he was making it nearly impossible for Sebastian not to want him.
Sam stepped out of his grip, and Sebastian realised he still had his hands up for a few seconds before quickly dropping them into his lap. Sam was making a little round for the rest of the audience, and then lowered himself to the floor, rolling his hips in a full body wave.
Kurt wondered if there was any one in the audience, from any orientation, who weren't imagining themselves down there on the floor with Sam on top. He was; and one look at Sebastian's face told him he was too.
Sam got up on his hands and knees, and slowly made his way back over to Sebastian. He placed his hands next to Sebastian's legs and pushed himself up, rubbing his face over Sebastian's thighs as he came up, and then did a series of very impressive push-ups to the music, each one grazing Sebastian's legs with his chest.
Sebastian couldn't resist. He ran his hand through Sam's hair, winding his fingers into it and holding on for a moment, closing his eyes. God, he wished he could just pull him closer, press his face into his crotch and get a blow job. It had been so long, not counting the aborted thryst in the Satire mens' room.
But fuck, they weren't alone; his friends were all looking at him, and this was a hired dancer, not a prostitute - and Kurt's friend. Kurt, he thought. He made himself let go again, caressing Sam's face instead, and running his thumb over his full lips with a sigh.
Sam smiled a little and blew him a kiss before straightening up.
The music faded out and it took a minute for Sebastian to come back to Earth.
The room was applauding and a few people came forward to speak to Sam and offer him their phone numbers as he stepped back into his uniform.
Steph and Alice were clutching each other's hands and fanning themselves and Alex plopped himself down on the sofa next to Sebastian.
"So, did I deliver or did I deliver?" he said grinning smugly.
"Oh, you delivered!" Sebastian said shaking his head. "And now I need alcohol...lots of alcohol."
A whisky tumbler appeared by his hand. "I thought you might. Here," Brody said. "Whew. That guy has some skills."
"Yeah, my girl can pick 'em," Alex said a little proudly. "Even I was feeling a little tingly and you know I don't swing that way."
On the other side of the room, Kurt made himself calm down. He wasn't even sure why Sam's dancing had gotten him so worked up - well, any more than it had intended to.
Somehow, seeing Sebastian like that, practically drooling over another man, had made him feel incredibly uncomfortable. He knew he had no right to feel jealous, but damn...he did.
To distract himself, he walked over to Sam, who was just zipping up.
"Wow, that was certainly something else," Kurt offered. "Where did you learn all that?"
Sam shrugged. "Some of the guys I modelled with also work as private strippers. The money's better than at the club, though some of the clients get a bit too possessive when it takes place in their own home."
He saw Kurt's eyes widen and quickly added: "I'm okay. I've never not been able to handle it. There's...playful ways to decline someone's avances that just make it part of the dance."
Kurt nodded. "Do you want to stay? We have food, and drink...?"
Sam hesitated. "I am kinda hungry...and I brought my civilian clothes."
Kurt smiled. "Then go change, and help yourself. You can stay as long as you like."
"Thanks, Kurt."
Sebastian downed the whiskey in one and handed Brody the glass, silently asking for another. Brody had brought the bottle with him and topped up the glass.
"Fuck, it's been so long since I had sex," Sebastian said longingly. He glanced at Kurt. He looked so good tonight and kept throwing furtive looks Sebastian's way - he'd noticed. He downed his second glass of whiskey.
"I need a distraction before I do something stupid." Sebastian said.
"Yeah, sorry, there was an actual clause in the contract about th—" Alex started, then followed Sebastian's eyes to Kurt. "Oh!"
As if summoned, Kurt walked up to them. "Everything okay here?" he asked, "or do we need to bring back the ice bucket challenge?"
Brody smirked. "We were about to play Never Have I Ever," he said smoothly. "You in?"
Alex quietly mumbled "were we?" before agreeing that, "yes, we were!"
Kurt pressed his lips together in a smile. "I'm your ride home...I can play, but not with alcohol."
Alex shrugged. "S'okay, we can drink yours. It's more about the gossip than the booze."
"In that case, sure. I'll ask the girls."
Twenty minutes later, the small group of friends were sat on the floor by the big windows in the living room.
After the excitement of the strip tease, the party had slowly started to wind down; people filtering out in little groups. Marc and Paul had personally helped a few into a cab and were now sat consoling a very drunk young man in the kitchen.
Sam stood by the pictures of New York, talking to Kurt's NYADA friends about his dance moves...at least that's what Sebastian assumed.
"Okay." Brody said clapping his hands together. "I'm assuming everyone knows how to play?"
"Yes yes!" Alex said waving his hand.
Brody rolled his eyes. "Who's going first?"
"Okay, okay: here's one that I personally find very important," Kurt said, smiling. He knew the game was bound to get a little raunchy later, but he thought he'd start with something harmless.
"Never have I ever not tipped at a restaurant."
No one drank and Sebastian felt a little proud of his friends.
"Ok BORING!" Alex said. "Never have I ever...gone skinny-dipping."
Brody looked at Alice with a smile and they both raised their glass, toasting together.
Kurt smiled. He was happy they found each other. They were such a good match.
He had gotten a few cans of energy drink for the game, but didn't drink. The idea of skinny dipping was enticing, but also a step too far for him. He was only still getting used to showering at NYADA. He saw Sebastian raise his glass as well, and blushed a little.
Marc, who had walked in to check if everything was okay in the living room, let out jovially: "That had better not been in MY pool, Seb! You know the house rules."
Everyone laughed.
"Okay," Alice said, "Never have I ever screamed because of a bug."
"Ha, ha," Alex said, taking a drink. "You'll never let that one go, will you?"
Kurt took a drink too, and shared the story of Blaine's buggy couch.
Sebastian drank as well. He hated bugs.
Lola walked over to him and laid down in front of him, laying her head in his lap. He smiled and stroked her head softly.
"Never have I ever...had a crush on a teacher," he said, grinning at Alice.
"Ooooh, he was so hot," Alice mumbled, hanging her head. "Cheers!"
"Do substitutes count? Because, oh my god," Kurt moaned, taking out his phone. He figured if he wasn't drinking, he might as well volunteer stories. He scrolled through his albums until he found a candid of Mr Martinez, and handed Sebastian his phone. Alice scooted over to look.
"Oh my god, Kurt! Did you hook up?"
"What?!" Kurt let out, a little scandalised, "He would have lost his job!" He shrugged uncomfortably. "And I was with Blaine, anyway."
Sebastian looked at the picture on the screen and felt his eyes go wide. "Fuck," he said.
The man was gorgeous. Tall, built...packing. Sebastian looked at Kurt and handed him back his phone. "They never had substitutes like that at Dalton. How the hell did you concentrate in class?"
"To be honest, I didn't. I can barely recall what subject he was teaching," Kurt admitted. "But it was the best week at McKinley ever."
Almost as good as when Blaine's brother Cooper came to town, but that wasn't the question so Kurt kept that one to himself for now.
"Never have I ever used a fake I.D.," Brody suggested, looking at his friends deviously.
"Cheers, Bas," Kurt said, sipping his drink.
Sebastian laughed and nudged Kurt's shoulder with his own. "Cheers, Chad Donaldsworth." He sipped from his own cup too.
Alice didn't drink for this one but Steph did. Alex looked at her with wide eyes.
"What?" She asked with a shrug.
"Nothing just…impressed," Alex replied. "I just didn't realise you were such a rebel."
She winked. "There's a lot you don't know about me, honey." Alex felt a pull in his belly and drank quickly.
"Okay!" Alice said trying to bring her friends back to the game. "Never have I ever…shoplifted from a store."
Steph blushed and drank. Alex's eyes widened in shock. "Well it's all coming out tonight."
"I was seven and really wanted this glow in the dark silly putty, but my mom wouldn't buy it for me and it was a shop the didn't have alarms or anything…so when no one was looking, I pocketed it."
Kurt cocked his head and smiled. It was adorable. He remembered how April has taught his friends how to shoplift. Mercedes told him all about it, but also about how she felt afterwards, so he hadn't been tempted to try it.
"Never have I ever...done it in a public place," Steph countered.
"I'm a little relieved now," Alex mumbled as his girlfriend didn't drink.
Kurt avoided Sebastian's eyes and took a sip of his drink, hoping no one would notice.
Sebastian did notice but swallowed down his jealousy. Kurt and Blaine had been together a long time...they were bound to have been a little adventurous. And he couldn't exactly throw judgement. He drank too. Most of his early encounters had been in the bathroom stalls at Scandals.
Alice and Brody drank too, their hands finding each other between them.
"You two as well?" Alex exclaimed.
Alice grinned. "Oh yes...you know that little nook in the library?"
"Well, great! Now I can't go there anymore!" Alex let out.
Steph rolled her eyes. "Like you ever go to the library!"
"Well, I'm not gonna, now," Alex replied grumpily.
Sebastian laughed loudly, causing Lola to jump and look up at him reproachfully. He scratched her ear.
"Never have I ever..." he said thoughtfully. "Fantasised about someone else whilst having sex."
"Oh come on!" Alex protested. "Everyone does that, right?"
"I don't!" Steph said vehemently. Alice didn't drink either.
Brody shrugged and drank, but added a bashful "Not anymore," for Alice, kissing her lips.
Kurt felt his heart beat in his throat. It was as if Sebastian knew - but he couldn't! It was just a silly game, a random question...How could he possibly know that more than once, Kurt had thought about him at Satire, wearing his bartender outfit (or parts of it anyway) while he was with Blaine?
He sipped his drink, trying to banish the memories of the things he had done with Blaine, especially after summer. He wouldn't have done any of that if he'd known about the cheating.
Sebastian looked at Kurt and raised his eyebrows a little, a teasing glint in his eyes. He longed to know, but at the same time, wasn't sure if he did.
"Have you really never done that, Seb?" Alex asked. He'd been sure Sebastian at least would have.
"Never. Not once," Sebastian said, holding up his glass. "I always give my partner my full and undivided attention." He winked.
"Okay...never have I ever...gone down on a guy!" Alex said proudly.
Sebastian rolled his eyes and drank. "Really original."
The girls and Kurt exchanged exasperated sighs and all drank, too. Much to Alex' surprise, so did Brody.
"But...you're straight!" he let out.
"I am," Brody confirmed. "And thanks to a summer of experimenting, I've been sure of that since high school senior year." He winked at Alice.
Neither Kurt or Sebastian could repress a brief sigh and a sudden onslaught of inappropriate thoughts about their friend.
Alex took a bit longer to understand, and ducked his head when he did. "I'm sure without trying, too," he mumbled.
Kurt smiled. He knew Alex didn't mean anything by it; he would be at least equally uncomfortable thinking about doing the same to a woman.
"Never have I ever been in a threesome," Kurt said, offering Sebastian a small smile.
"Liar!" Alex yelled, and Steph poked him in the side.
"No, it's true," Kurt said honestly. "I chickened out at the last moment."
Alice caught Sebastian's eye and smiled.
Sebastian returned her smile and nodded a little. He'd not told any of his friends the outcome of that evening, nor about the conversation after.
He sipped his drink, blushing slightly, and avoided Kurt's gaze. Across the circle, Brody drank too.
"Bro...is there anything you haven't done?" Alex said shaking his head.
Brody winked. "Never have I ever been on the receiving end of anal sex."
Sebastian, Kurt and Alice all drank - the latter with a glare at her boyfriend, her face a little red.
Steph nudged Alex a little. "Play fair, honey," she reminded him.
Alex frowned. "But that doesn't count," he protested in a whisper. "It's not like I was with a guy!"
"That wasn't the question," Steph said sweetly.
Grudgingly, Alex took a sip of his drink.
Kurt smiled indulgently. "It's hardly like we're going to judge you, Al," he offered. "Or any Al," he added, winking at Alice.
Sebastian grinned at his friends. "Personally, I don't see why there such a big taboo around it," he said, shaking his head. He was really feeling the effects of the alcohol now.
"Taboo around what?" Marc asked walking into the room. He smiled a little at the sight of Sebastian surrounded by his friends. They were all looking a little worse for wear.
"Anal sex," Steph explained.
"Ah. Not on my carpet please, it's just been steam-cleaned." Marc winked at the group. "Are you all okay for drinks and food? Most of the others left now...that stripper guy just left with your NYADA friends, Kurt...well one of them anyway."
"Really?" Kurt asked. "Like...they were gonna share a cab?"
Marc smirked. "Ah, it looked like they might have been planning to share a bit more than a cab…"
Kurt looked at him with wide eyes. Sam?! "This evening really is full of surprises," he mumbled. "What did the other guy look like?"
"Uh, this big, buff guy with dark skin," Marc replied. "I'm not good with names."
Kurt blinked. "Georgio?" He shook his head. The more he thought about that, the more he was amazed.
"Oh my god, that's so hot," Steph whispered quietly.
Sebastian smirked. "He always pinged on my radar."
"Is that actually a thing?" Alex asked. "I know there's a lot of jokes about it but like...is it really a thing?"
Sebastian shrugged, "I don't know...but I've never been wrong yet."
"I did think he was gay when I first met him," Kurt mused. "I guess it's just...a feeling of belonging, or something. It's hard to explain. But he dated half the girls in school, so…"
"So, he might be bi or pan," Steph said, shrugging, and yawned. "I'm sorry, but I think I should get to bed soon."
Alex seemed to perk up at that suggestion. "Yes! Me too!" he said eagerly.
Kurt got up and brushed down his pants. "Your designated driver is ready," he said. He turned to Brody and the others. "Shall I make two trips or do you want to go home as well?"
"There's still so much cheese to eat," Sebastian said, dragging the e sound out.
Kurt smiled at him fondly. "Okay, I'll take these two home and come back for you."
Steph and Alex said their goodbyes and headed out.
Alice got up and retrieved the plate of cheese from a nearby table, bringing it over to Sebastian. She sat down next to him. He grinned and picked up a piece of cheddar. "I love cheese," he said happily. He leant his head against Alice's shoulder as he ate.
Alice smiled and wrapped her arm around Sebastian. She looked covertly at Brody who took the hint and followed Marc into the kitchen to help clear up.
"Did you have a good birthday, baby?" she asked, stroking his hair.
"I did, thank you so much...you guys are the best."
"Good. I had a good time, too," she said, resting her head against his.
She thought about their evening, and the drinking game.
"Kurt seemed okay," she mused. "He still makes that...sad face...when he talks about Blaine, but he no longer seems as fragile as before. He's pretty when he's sad, though. So pretty…" She shook herself. "I'm sorry. I'm very drunk," she sighed.
Sebastian smiled. "He is pretty...he's..." he tried to form the words. "I'm in trouble Alice...I can't stop these feelings I have."
Alice sighed. "I know." She sat up. "He didn't sleep with those guys, though. Isn't that a good sign?" She frowned. "Or did he just mean...he didn't sleep with them at the same time?"
She shook her head. "Forget it, I don't know what I am saying, Seb. But I know he cares about you a lot. He really put a lot of work in getting all of this right." She waved at the room. "He even picked an outfit for Alex!"
Sebastian smiled. "I hope he does..." he closed his eyes and buried closer to her. "You're really comfy."
He sat in silence for a moment wrapped in comfort before something else that Alice had said registered in his brain.
"He didn't sleep with those guys...not together...or separately either..."
"Seems you know something we don't..." Alice said, starting to feel a little sleepy.
Sebastian smiled and didn't respond, just content being in her company. He'd never had a sister, but he supposed that this is what it might have felt like.
Kurt looked down on Sebastian and smiled.
One of the dogs had curled up next to him. He had looked so happy and relaxed, it almost seemed a shame to wake him, but Kurt did so anyway, knowing that waking up hungover in your own bed was better than waking up on someone's floor. And Sebastian was bound to feel more than a little nauseous in the morning.
"Hey, sleeping beauty. Your carriage awaits."
Sebastian blinked awake and looked at Kurt until he came into focus.
'You really are pretty,' he thought and allowed Kurt to help him up.
Lola shuffled out of his way as he got up and looked at him reproachfully.
Kurt smirked. 'Thanks,' he replied in French, lifting Sebastian up from the floor.
Sebastian blinked again. He hadn't been aware he'd been speaking out loud.
"Fortunately I'm also pretty strong." Kurt finally got his friend up and wrapped an arm around his waist. "Brody and Alice are already waiting in the car."
"Mmm super strong," Sebastian said, letting Kurt bear his weight.
"Happy Birthday Seb!" Marc said ruffling his hair gently. He and Paul were standing by the door waiting to walk them out.
"Thank you for an amazing evening!" Sebastian said sleepily, raising a hand to clasp Marc's shoulder. "You're the best step-dads anyone could ask for."
Marc and Paul exchanged a look.
"Stay safe, boys," Paul said, putting an arm around his husband.
Kurt led Sebastian to Alex's car. They had agreed he'd use it to drive everyone home, and Alex would come pick it up at his place in the morning. Brody and Alice were already in the back. Kurt rapped the window to get them to stop making out. He didn't want to spoil their fun, but everyone wore seatbelts when he was driving.
He carefully lowered Sebastian into the front passenger seat, cupping the back of his head to stop him from hitting it against the roof getting in. "Tell me if you're gonna be sick, okay? It's probably best not to fall asleep again."
"I won't be sick..." Sebastian replied drowsily. He slumped in his the seat, giggling a little as Kurt reached over him to buckle his seat belt.
In the backseat Alice rested her head on Brody's shoulder, a content smile on her face as she watched Kurt look after her best friend.
"I'm so sleepy," she whispered, closing her eyes and snuggling in to her boyfriend's warmth.
Kurt stood up and closed the door of the passenger side, shaking his head. He was used to being the designated driver, but that didn't make it more fun to be the only sober person in the room. Or in the car, in this case. He walked around to the driver's side and slid in. To keep himself awake and focused, he put some music on. Not wanting to change Alex's radio channel, it played the Beatles. Kurt's heart gave a little twinge. It was one of his mother's favourite lullabies, Beautiful Boy. He hummed along softly and thought about their evening.
You really are pretty.
Kurt wondered what Sebastian had been dreaming about before he woke him.
Despite Kurt's advice, Sebastian did fall asleep again. The combined mixture of the car engine, soft music and Kurt's angelic voice sent him into a sweet slumber. It wasn't until the car came to a stop and the engine cut off that he stirred, realising that they were home...or rather he was.
He swallowed. He didn't like the idea of going in alone. Tonight had been amazing and he'd been shown just how loved he was...he didn't want to lose that feeling just yet.
"We're here," Kurt said quietly. He had driven slowly, somehow reluctant to wake Sebastian again.
Sebastian slowly sat up and turned to smile at Kurt. He found he couldn't say anything...there were not enough words that he could use to express how much tonight had meant to him. He didn't even know where to begin.
"I..." he said quietly. He shook his head, unable to get the words out. "Kurt...thank you...so much for tonight...for everything."
"You're welcome," Kurt said, smiling. It was hard to imagine that they had once flung such biting insults at each other. Kurt would take them all back if he could. There was definitely nothing wrong with Sebastian's features. He is a beautiful boy, Kurt's mind supplied, filtering back the lyrics of the song he had just sung.
"Shall I...Do you want me to help you up?" he asked. It wouldn't do if Sebastian had to spend the night on the floor in front of his door because he couldn't manage to get the key into the lock.
Sebastian smiled and relaxed at Kurt's question. "Yes please..." He felt silly for requesting it. He'd come home in far worse states than this before and managed just fine. But the idea of Kurt looking after him, at least for a little while longer, was a nice one.
Kurt nodded, springing into action. He rounded the car and helped Sebastian out of his seat, draping his friend's arm around his shoulder so he could lean on him. "I'm glad I got everyone out of Alex's car without any incidents that required a clean-up," he commented idly. "Though Alex himself had the closest call on my first trip."
They made their way up to Sebastian's apartment. "Okay. Keys?" Kurt asked.
Sebastian's expression was a little vacant. Kurt bit his lip. Shifting his weight to hold Sebastian up, he awkwardly patted the front pockets of Sebastian's jeans with his free hand until he felt something that might be a keychain. He took a deep breath, held it, and slipped his fingers inside to fish it out.
Sebastian sucked in a breath as Kurt slipped his hand into his pocket but made no move to stop him. The little dregs of reason left in his brain told him that doing so would likely cause more of an issue.
He giggled as images of what could go wrong flickered in his mind.
Kurt smirked. Either Sebastian was ticklish, or he also saw the absurdity of what they were doing. That night in the club, Kurt had felt a lot more of what was in Sebastian's jeans than just his keys, so how come he was suddenly so embarrassed? Telling himself to get over it, he pushed his hand in further, grabbed the keys, and pulled out again, flicking them over his hand to get the right one for the lock.
With one hand, he opened the door, put the keys on the table so Sebastian would find them in the morning, and navigated his way to the bedroom by memory, not wanting to blast Sebastian with bright lights.
"So, here we go," he mumbled, lowering Sebastian onto the bed.
Sebastian sat on the bed for a second before flopping backwards. He looked up at Kurt in the dark.
"Thank you. Would you...could I have a glass of water please?" he asked quietly, trying to think of a reason to keep Kurt there as long as possible.
Kurt looked down on him. "I'm not brushing your teeth," he teased, walking to kitchen to get a glass. He filled it and carried it back into the bedroom, stopping to grab a strip of asprins from the cabinet in the bathroom on his way passed. As an afterthought, he also took out a fresh towel in case Sebastian would get sweaty or sick. He placed everything on the night stand and look a last look at the drunk boy on the bed.
"I should go-" Kurt started, just as Sebastian said "-Please stay."
Kurt swallowed. "For the night?" he asked quietly.
"Forever?" Sebastian whispered so quietly he wasn't sure if Kurt would hear him. After he'd said it he wondered if he'd said it at all. But he knew he meant it.
Kurt paused. For a moment, he was reeling, his shields completely shattered. "Bas..." he started, not sure what his next words should be.
Sebastian closed his eyes and swallowed, he rolled on to his side and pushed himself up.
"Kurt," He whispered, looking up at his friend with wide eyes. "I know it's complicated and I really don't want to pressure you. But...I'm running out of ideas about why we shouldn't be together?" He made a valiant effort to stand up but failed, sitting back on the bed.
Kurt's shoulders slumped a little. He sat down on the bed too and looked at his hands for a moment. The skin on his finger no longer showed an indentation where his ring used to be, and the pale stripe was gone, too. But the pain wasn't, and opening himself up just to be hurt like that again...it was daunting. He had been willing to throw all of his fears overboard in the club, but the more time he'd had after Sebastian's rejection, the more he had come to see it had been the right thing to do.
"You know why, Sebastian," he said gently. "You said so yourself."
Sebastian turned to look at Kurt.
"I know...I know what I said and I still believe it, and if you need more time then I understand...but I can't be the only one that senses that there's something between us and whatever it is, it's real..." he said almost pleadingly and reached for Kurt's hand. He was relieved when Kurt accepted his touch and curled their fingers together.
"I know you have baggage and scars...but I have baggage and scars too. I can't promise I'm going to be any good at being a boyfriend. I've never been one before and I'm terrified of fucking it up and losing you. But I love you and I want to try."
Kurt took in a sharp breath. Sebastian had already told him how he felt months ago, but not as directly. They'd talked of attraction, desire...but love? Kurt didn't realise how much he had longed to hear those words again and actually dare to believe them. "You've already been a better boyfriend to me - without being my boyfriend - than Blaine ever was," he admitted. He had no doubts about Sebastian's capabilities - just about himself.
"I'm more worried that I'm...not enough."
Kurt shrugged, feeling awkward. "Never have I ever...had more than one partner," he said bashfully. "I don't know what I'd have to offer to keep you interested, and I'm not sure my heart can handle being broken all over again."
Sebastian closed his eyes and brought Kurt's hand up to his lips, kissing it softly. Then he looked into Kurt's eyes.
"Kurt...I would never, ever cheat on you, you are enough...you're everything...I know I am incredibly drunk right now," he said shaking his head. "...but I really mean every word."
Kurt pressed his lips into a thin smile. He believed that Sebastian meant his own words - right now. But he also knew how quickly "never" could shift to "okay, so it happened once but never again, I promise".
And yet there was this tiny, tiny voice inside that whispered maybe it really wouldn't be like that. Maybe he would stay, and they could make it work.
Should he really risk losing this chance over potential pain in the future? Maybe it was time he took his future into his own hands, instead of waiting for some kind of cosmic sign to tell him he was ready.
"Never have I ever...wanted to kiss you more," Kurt said quietly, finally giving into the emotions he'd been ignoring for the past few months.
Sebastian looked at Kurt in wonderment and a grin slowly spread across his face. "Then you should."
Sebastian's smile broke the tension, and Kurt smirked. "I will. Just don't puke on me." With that, he leaned towards his friend and kissed him, softly at first, simply pressing their lips together and pulling back.
Kurt knew plenty of kisses. One-sided ones, that simply pressed angrily until it felt his teeth might cut into the back of his lips. Showy ones, with hands on the side of his face, that stated 'this is mine'. Perfunctory pecks, thank-you-dear 's, and open-mouthed, invasive ones. Kisses that marked the start of a journey down to the place that made him agree to anything. And one kiss, burned into his memory, full of passion and I-don't-care 's and please-make-me-forget's.
None of them had been like this.
Only their lips touched, and for the first time, Kurt felt like it was entirely on his terms. He kissed him again, more urgently, letting go of Sebastian's hands to wrap his arms around his shoulders. He breathed in deeply and leaned in again, first capturing Sebastian's bottom lip, then the top between his own.
Kurt's eyes slipped closed. Sebastian kissed him back. Every touch started tentatively, as if asking for permission. Like this? Is this okay? Can I do this, here? Am I really allowed, now?
Sebastian melted further into the kiss, hardly daring to believe it was happening. He let Kurt take control, matching his movements and pressure.
It felt like coming home.
Kurt's lips parted, and he breathed in, tasting the alcohol on Sebastian's breath as their tongues slid against each other sensually.
Sebastian pulled away slowly, pressing back in to kiss Kurt again, their lips slotting together as if they were two pieces of a puzzle. He opened his eyes and smiled, pressing their foreheads together. "Best birthday ever."
Kurt opened his eyes too and returned Sebastian's smile. It felt like a weight was lifted off his shoulders just by making a decision.
"We'll need to talk about this in the morning, when you're sober," he whispered, kissing Sebastian again just in case he wouldn't get to anymore the next day, then pulled away and got up.
"I'm tired. I want to stay...but on the couch, okay? I don't want you to wake up and not remember why I am in your bed." Kurt offered Sebastian a shy smile.
"Mmm, okay," Sebastian hummed. Bed it was, then. Suddenly, he was eager to sleep so it would be morning sooner. Never had he ever…looked forward to sobering up as much as he did now. He started fumbling with the buttons on his shirt.
Kurt shook his head. "You'd better not be faking this just to get me to undress you, Mr Martini," he mumbled fondly, swatting Sebastian's hands away to make quick work of his buttons.
Sebastian let his hands fall to the bed and looked at Kurt. "Why are you so amazing? What did I do to deserve you?" he mumbled.
He shivered as the shirt slipped off his arms, exposing his bare chest.
"Well, you do make a great Cocksucking Cowboy," Kurt joked feebly, a little distracted by the sight of Sebastian's skin. He put the shirt to the side and considered how to get off his friend's jeans. He decided for the easiest way, and simply pushed Sebastian onto his back on the bed.
Sebastian smiled happily and flopped back onto the mattress, arms spread wide. "Mmm kinky," he chuckled as his back hit the bed. Kurt started unbuttoning his jeans and he lay very still. There was too much alcohol in his system for him to get too worked up about the position he was in, but somewhere in the back of his mind a fire ignited.
We'll talk in the morning. Kurt was scared that he wouldn't remember...or that he would and regret it. Something else ignited inside Sebastian that had nothing to do with Kurt tugging his jeans open.
He reached up to stroke Kurt's arm. He didn't say anything - words at this point seemed to be beyond his brain's capability. But he wanted to reassure Kurt that he did mean what he'd said, drunk or sober.
Kurt closed his eyes, for a moment just concentrating on Sebastian's touch. Now that he'd made his decision, it was hard to wait until morning, but he wanted to do this right.
"Come on," he said, more to himself than to Sebastian, and made himself get on with it. He tugged Sebastian's jeans down over his hips, and got off the bed to take hold of the cuffs and pull them down his legs. Kurt took a last, longing look at the beautiful body sprawled on the bed in front of him. No wonder Isabelle thought he was one of the Vogue models, he thought vaguely. Then, he pulled the covers free from under him, and tucked them around Sebastian.
"Goodnight, Bas. I'll be just outside if you need me."
"Good night, Kurt," Sebastian whispered, already slipping into a peaceful sleep.