Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight…..

It's Sunday…and so I'm back with another up-date…just like I promised Big gold star for me lol. Next Sunday will be the final chapter (as long as my beta can get it done in time) but as of now..we are on schedule for next week being the final up-date. I'm sad and happy all at the same time. I can't believe it will actually be over, but it has been going for almost 2 years now…so it is definitely time.

Big thanks to my pre-reader One Of Eddies Girls and to my beta Cherry Bella. You girls rock, and helped me so much with this chapter!

Chapter 37

Bella

I woke the next morning feeling somewhat refreshed. I knew today wouldn't be easy but I was ready to face whatever obstacles may arise. I joined everyone for breakfast then called Maria to fill her in on what I knew about my father. She reminded me to call her if I needed her to come up here, and asked me to call her as soon as there was any news. I agreed and then quickly showered and headed back to the hospital to see how my father was doing.

I spent the entire day at the hospital, mostly in the waiting room. Edward stayed with me the entire time only leaving once to go get us lunch. I told him several times he didn't have to wait with me, that he could go spend some time with his friends or family, but he refused, saying I was his family and he was where he needed to be. Edward's parents came by that morning to check on the progress, but there had been none. The doctor would stop by every few hours and let me know that there hadn't been any change, and he would let me go in to sit with my father for a while, but I couldn't stay long, then I was back in the waiting room, just sitting and waiting.

Alice, Emmett, Jake, and Rose, all came by after school to check on us and they stayed for well over an hour catching up. Jasper never showed. I called him several times throughout the afternoon, but I was always sent to voice mail.

I stayed at the hospital until visiting hours were over. I went into my father's room and sent up a tearful prayer, before kissing him on the cheek, telling him goodbye for yet another night.

Esme had dinner ready when Edward and I arrived back at their house. I tried to involve myself in the conversation but my thoughts were a million miles away. I knew I wouldn't be back to myself until my father was okay.

I helped clean the dishes and went straight to bed. I was emotionally exhausted and just couldn't function a moment longer without some sleep.

The next day started much the same way. I woke early, showered, met everyone for breakfast, called Maria, and was out the door the same time Alice was leaving for school. It was mind boggling to think that I should actually be in school now myself. I should be complaining about math homework or stressing about a history pop quiz, not sitting in a waiting room hoping and praying my father didn't die.

Finally my prayers were answered shortly after lunch. I'd been allowed to go in to my father's room for fifteen minutes at eleven so I was quite surprised when a nurse came to get me just a little past twelve. She ushered me to my father's room and instructed me to stand outside the closed door until the Doctor came out.

I chewed my nails nervously as I waited just a few minutes before the Doctor stepped out of the room closing the door behind him.

I was sure he could see the fear written all over my face so he quickly assured me that everything was alright. My father had regained consciousness, and though he wasn't completely out of the water, things were definitely looking up. They had run all of the necessary test to make sure that he was stable, but while he was no longer in a coma, he was still very groggy and would be in and out of sleep. He reiterated to me how important it was for him to get plenty of sleep so I was instructed not to wake him if he did drift off to sleep. He told me I couldn't stay long but that I could visit with my father for a few minutes to see for myself that was indeed doing much better. I hugged the Doctor a bit tighter than necessary, and wiped my tears away before slowly entering the room.

My father still looked as frail and weak as he had a little over an hour ago, but he did seem to have a bit more color to his face. Though his eyes looked dull and droopy they were opened, only slightly, but still they were opened.

I walked quickly to the side of his bed and placed my hand over his. I knew he couldn't talk because of the tubes down his throat so I talked for the both of us. I made sure to keep my voice low and soft as I told him how much I had missed him, and how worried I had been about him. I could tell he was fighting to stay awake, but the medicine they had him on was making it close to impossible. I carefully wiped a tear that had leaked from the corner of his eye and softly kissed his cheek telling him to rest and promised I would be back.

I walked out of his room feeling pure relief. I rushed to the waiting room to relay all of the new information to Edward. He held me as I cried my happy tears and re-told everything that had just happened.

I stepped outside to call Jasper and let him know the good news, but once again there was no answer. I left him a message telling him what was happening and begging him to call me as soon as possible. I called Maria, and then Esme and Carlisle to let them know as well. Once I was done with all of my phone calls I checked the time and decided if Jasper wouldn't return my calls I would just go find him. School would be out soon so I asked Edward to drive us there so I could wait for Jasper. Edward of course agreed because he is just the greatest guy ever.

Once we arrived at the school we sat in the student parking lot waiting patiently for the dismissal bell to ring. It was somewhat surreal being here again. It seemed like a hundred years ago that I had been at this very school attending classes with all of these people. It's amazing how much things can change in such a short period of time.

Once the bell sounded, I searched the crowd of students, desperate to find Jasper. It wasn't long before my former peers started noticing Edward and I. We quickly became the center of attention and were bombarded with hugs and pats on the back. Everyone wanted to hear our story, where we had been, how we were doing ,and if we were we back to stay. It felt nice to be missed, but I had a sneaking suspicion it had more to do with filling the gossip ring than actual concern for our well-being.

Trying to be as polite as possible I greeted people as they approached, but immediately began asking where Jasper was, and if anyone had seen him. Mike just shrugged his shoulders as he said, "I'm not sure where he is, come to think of it, I don't think I've seen him all day." Well that wasn't the least bit helpful.

I asked a few more random people, still not getting anywhere. Finally Emmett walked over and I asked him if he had any idea where Jasper may be. He had a strange expression on his face as he told me he hadn't seen him in days. Well that was strange, if he wasn't at school or the hospital then where the heck could he be?

Not wanting to give up just yet I asked Edward to take me by the house. Jasper's house...my old house. He agreed, and completely understood when I couldn't bring myself to actually go in there myself. He got out and knocked on the doors, but there was no answer. He looked through the windows before using my keys to let himself in. He wasn't in there long before he was joining me at the car again.

Edward climbed back in the car looking defeated, "Bella, he's not here babe." He said softly, avoiding eye contact.

I was at a loss. "Where else could he be?" I asked more to myself. "I mean he hasn't been at the hospital, he's not at school, and he isn't here." I thought hard for a minute trying to figure out what was going on. "Maybe he's at work?" I suggested looking to Edward for answers I knew he didn't have.

Edward sighed before answering me. "I have one more place we can check, but you have to promise to stay in the car while I go in to look." His voice held an authority I wasn't used to hearing from him, but I quickly agreed anyway. I couldn't think of any place that Jasper might be that wouldn't be safe for me, but as long as Edward was willing to help me, I wasn't going to argue with him.

I nodded in agreement and we were off again. The house we pulled up to looked vaguely familiar but I couldn't put my finger on when I had been here before. Edward gave me a quick kiss before telling me he would be right back. I watched as he walked towards the door, and then knocked a few times before going in. I sat in the car and I waited for what seemed like forever. I finally checked the time and realized Edward had been inside for close to twenty minutes. I knew that was more time than necessary for him to see if Jasper was in there and I began to get worried about his safety.

I knew that Edward had a reason, and I'm sure it was a good one, for wanting me to stay in the car, but I couldn't in good conscious sit in the car while he could be in danger. So I did the only logical thing. I took a deep breath and climbed out of the car, walked to the door, and turned the knob letting myself in.

What I saw literally took my breath away. The place was trashed, there was old food and beer bottles littering the floor. The furniture and carpets looked like they hadn't been cleaned in years. And the smell, it was enough to make me gag. I covered my mouth and nose with my hand hoping to somewhat filter it a little, but it wasn't a great help.

I heard male voices coming from another room, and though my instinct told me to turn around and get out of here as fast as possible, I knew that Edward was in here and I needed to make sure that he was safe.

I walked as quietly as I could through the house following the voices. Once I turned a corner to the living room I could see several people sitting on couches and Edward standing over someone, talking. His stance and facial expression let me know it was not a pleasant conversation. As I tried to make my way over to him I tripped over something, it could have been a pizza box, a beer bottle or a dead body for all I knew, but whatever it was it caused me to lose my balance and fall back landing in all the filth.

Of course, that got everyone's attention and all eyes turned to me. Most of the people just started laughing like it was the funniest thing they had ever seen, while Edward rushed over to help me up. "Shit, Bella, are you alright?" he asked, concern lacing his voice as he pulled me up off the floor.

"Yeah, I'm okay," I answered as I tried to brush myself off.

Edward gave me a quick once over, checking for himself that I was indeed alright before he began scolding me. "What the hell are you thinking? I told you to sit in the car!"

"I...I was just worried that you were taking so long. I wanted to make sure you were alright in here."

Edward opened his mouth to speak, but never got the chance. Before I could process what was happening Jasper was beside us and shoving Edward "What the hell is she doing here?" Jasper yelled as he shoved Edward again. "Why would you bring her here?" I had never seen Jasper this angry before, and I knew this wouldn't end well.

Edward steadied himself and took a deep breath before holding his hands up. "Dude, you need to chill. She's here because she's been looking for your dumb ass all over town. I didn't want to bring her here, trust me, I didn't want her to see you like this, but she wanted to talk to you and I knew you would be here."

Jasper turned his angry glare in my direction and I couldn't help but be afraid. I looked in his eyes but I didn't see the loving cousin I had known all those years. I didn't know who this person was and that scared the crap out of me, because I didn't know what this person was capable of.

"You." Jasper yelled pointing his finger in my face. "What the hell do you want? Why can't you just leave me alone? I don't want to talk to you, I don't want to sit down and have family dinners, I don't want to reminisce about old times, I don't want any of that, I just want you to go away and leave me alone."

I was stunned. How could he say those things to me? How could he just throw me away like my father had done? "Jasper I miss you. I love you, that's why I worry about you. I can't leave you alone, you're my family." I tentatively reached my hand out to touch his arm in what I hoped would be a soothing motion.

Before I was able to make actual contact he pushed my hand away and stepped back. "Bella, trust me I'm a lost cause, cut your losses with me and move on with the rest of your life. I'm nothing; I won't do anything but hurt you and hold you back." He stepped closer and grabbed my shoulders. "I'm going to say this one more time. Go away, leave me alone, stop looking for me, stop calling me, just leave me alone!" he growled in anger, causing his cheeks to puff out and nostrils to flare.

I was afraid, but not for myself. I was afraid for Jasper and what he had become since I left. I swallowed the lump in my throat and fought back the tears that were threatening to fall. "Jasper, I can't. I can't walk away from you. Please, just come with me." I begged taking a step closer to wrap my arms around him in a hug. "Please, just come with me so we can talk. I'm worried about you."

"God, Bella, you are so stupid. Why can't you just listen? I'm not going anywhere with you, I don't want to talk, I don't want to be around you. Just go away!" he yelled as he forcefully removed my hands from around him and pushed them away, causing me to lose my balance and fall down yet again. This time there was no stopping the tears. I had been rejected by the one person I thought would always be there for me.

That was apparently the breaking point for Edward because he lunged for Jasper taking him down in one swoop. Edward yelled at Jasper telling him to never talk to me like that, or touch me ever again. Jasper yelled back at Edward that it was his entire fault for bringing me here in the first place. As they were struggling and yelling with each other I took a moment to look around. I looked at the others sitting on the couch thinking they would intervene, but I quickly saw that wasn't an option. A couple of them were laughing, clearly amused with the situation while the others were looking board with the whole thing.

Movement out of the corner of my eye caught my attention so I turned to focus on the boy leaning over the coffee table in the middle of the room. It took me a few seconds, but I finally recognized him as James. He had changed quite a bit but I was pretty certain it was him. I watched as he leaned over the table and inhaled something off the table. I let my eyes wonder over the contents of the table. There was white powder, needles, tiny bags and pills all over the table. That's when it clicked. Drugs. Jasper was here doing drugs and that's why he changed so much. My heart literally broke; I didn't know what to do to help him, but I knew Edward and I needed to get away from here.

I picked myself up off the floor and rushed over to Edward's side pulling him away from Jasper. Once he finally released him, I said in the calmest voice I could muster. "We need to go." He looked at me for a brief second then climbed off of Jasper and stood beside me wrapping one arm around my waist and leaning down to kiss my head then whispered "I'm so sorry, baby."

I turned to walk out of the room, but stopped once I was a safe distance away. I looked at Jasper who was still lying on the floor. "Jasper, I will always love you, and I'm here for you when you're ready to get help." I knew he was probably high off of something right now so it wouldn't do me any good to try and reason with him. Still it hurt to leave him there like that. "I just wanted to let you know that my Dad is out of a coma, he's still weak but he is awake, in case you wanted to go by to see him."

I didn't give him time to respond; grabbing Edward's hand and walking out of the house, leaving a part of myself in there with Jasper.

As soon as we were safe in the car, I took a deep breath trying to process everything that had just happened.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Edward asked, bringing me back to the present.

"No, not right now. Now, I just want to go back to the hospital to see my Dad before visiting hours are over."

Edward whispered out a low "okay" before starting the car and pulling away. I tried to put all of my focus on my father while I was at the hospital, but I couldn't get Jasper off my mind. I had to know what had happened, how did he go from the fun loving, caring guy I left a few months ago to this hateful, mean person that I didn't even recognize?

I talked to Alice later that night about what had happened between them, at first she wouldn't tell me much, just that they had taken different directions in life, whatever that meant. Only after I told her about my earlier encounter with Jasper did she open up. We had a long tearful conversation about how it had all started.

"He was so upset when you left, Bella." She said wiping her tears and shaking her head. "He blamed himself for everything. He said he was the one that had pushed you to open up and try new things. He said he was the reason your life had been ruined and you had to leave."

"It wasn't his fault at all." I was quick to let her know. "I made those decisions, and I had to suffer the repercussions of my decisions."

"I know that it wasn't his fault, and I told him continuously that you didn't blame him." She stopped for a moment to blow her nose, and then continued. "But he wouldn't listen to reason. I thought he would eventually come to terms with everything that happened, but he didn't. Each day that passed he became more down on himself, and he just started to change. He started hanging out with James and his slew of losers, and over time they just overtook his life. The breaking point was a few weeks ago, he received a letter from the state of Oregon informing him of his mother's death. She had overdosed, her body was found in an ally by a store owner."

I couldn't hold back my shock as I gasped loudly. "Oh no, Alice, tell me that didn't happen!"

She slowly nodded her head as more tears rolled down her cheek. "He lost it Bella, I have never seen so much rage and hurt in my life. He yelled and cried and threw things and yelled some more. I tried to be there for him, I really did, but he pushed me away. The next day he told me he didn't want to be with me anymore." Alice broke down in sobs, and I held her close as I cried with her. After a while she was finally able to speak again. "I didn't give up on him Bella, I called him relentlessly, I went by to check on him, I followed him around, but the more I tried to be there, the more pissed off he became with me. In the end it felt like I was doing more harm than good so I backed off thinking maybe he just needed some time to himself. I still love him Bella, and I hope that one day he will be able to realize that."

"I just, I can't imagine what he's going through." I told her wiping my own tears away. "I wish someone would have told me, he shouldn't have to deal with it alone."

"I should have told you, and I am so sorry that I didn't, but he made me promise that I wouldn't say anything to you or anyone else." Alice said between sniffles. "He didn't want anyone to know that his mother had died that way. Looking back, I know I should have told someone, but he was so ashamed, and it just seemed like the one piece of comfort I could give him, since he wouldn't accept anything else from me."

"I'm not mad at you Alice, I'm just worried about Jasper. I should have been here for him, I hate that things turned out this way. Life just doesn't seem fair."

"It's not." She quietly agreed.

I knew I needed to find a way to help him, but I didn't have the first clue as where to start. That night as I climbed into Edward's bed, I sent up a long heartfelt prayer asking for guidance. There was no way I could leave Jasper to deal with this on his own. He had been there for me so much in the past, now it would be my turn to repay him, because there was no way I was giving up on him.

The next day, I visited with my father in the morning and I could tell he was doing better. I left to go to lunch with Esme and when I returned and checked at the nurses' station, they told me the Doctor had been looking for me. They paged him and soon he met me at the nurse's desk.

"Bella, I have some good news for you, your father is doing amazingly well, and we were able to take him off the breathing machine."

"So he is breathing on his own?" I know it was rude to cut him off, but I wanted to hear him say the words.

"Yes, he is breathing on his own," the Doctor said softly. "His throat is very sore causing his voice to be rough. I have instructed him not to talk a lot as not to irritate his throat any more than necessary, but as you may know, your father is quite stubborn, and he keeps asking for you."

He didn't need to tell me anymore, I took off like a crazy person running through the halls to get to my father as quick as possible.

It was as if all of my prayers were answered when I walked in and saw him sitting up in the bed. Of course, the bed was inclined, helping to support him, but still it was an amazing sight and I couldn't help the happy tears that were falling.

"Isabella," he said in a low hoarse voice. I was so happy to hear him speak my name; I didn't even bother correcting him. "Please, come closer," he instructed as he held his scraped up hand out to me.

I didn't hesitate; I immediately went to him, taking his hand in mine.

"Isabella, I have a lot of regrets in my life," he started slowly. His chest rose and fell with each intake of breath and I knew it must be painful for him, both physically and emotionally.

"My biggest regret of all is letting you down as a father. I haven't even come close to being the parent that you needed or deserved in your life." He told me, making eye contact for the first time.

My tears were falling harder now; I knew there was no point in wiping them away because more were pouring out to replace them. "Dad," I sniffled, not even trying to sound strong. "We don't have to do this now, I'm just so happy that you're alright, the rest can wait."

He shook his head, not even letting my words sink in. "This needs to be done now, before it's too late." He turned his head to gaze out of the window for a while and I wondered if he had drifted off to sleep once again. I was just about to stand to pull his sheet up over him more when he spoke again. "Isabella, I saw her, I saw your mother." The absoluteness of his words sent chills down my spine. "She was exactly the same, she hadn't aged at all." He turned toward me once more and the smile that was on his face let me know he honestly believed he had seen my mother. "She was so beautiful; I had forgotten how much you look like her." He said as he took a moment to really study my face.

I was a bit stunned, and wondered briefly if I should talk to the doctor about the medications they have him on. "I ran to her," he said, his voice fading. "I ran to her and I held her, I twirled her around, and I kissed her cheek, she was right there." His voice was barely above a whisper at this point and I knew it had to be painful, so I reached over to get his cup of ice water and held the straw to his lips as he took a few gulps.

"Do you know what she said to me?" He asked, conviction thick in his voice. "As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him." I was a little confused as to why my mother would be quoting Palms to my father, but I didn't say anything, I just waited for him to continue. A single tear slipped from his eye as he continued, "And then she told me Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him, and that I had been neglectful of my gift. She said she was disappointed in me, I had hurt you, pushed you away, and ruined our relationship, and in return I had hurt her as well. She reminded me that you are the link that holds her and I together and that it wasn't your fault that she died, it was just her time."

He paused once again and tried to swallow, I hated that he was in this much pain, but I could tell that this was important to him and he needed to get it out. "She told me to make it right, Isabella, she told me I had one more chance and I needed to make it count. I told her I knew I had failed miserably as a father, and I just didn't know how to make it up to you. She told me to be honest and humble, so here it is. I was angry when your mother died, I was angry at her, at you, at myself, at the world, at God himself. Every day that I looked at you I was reminded of the woman I loved and how we would never be together again. You were just there to take all of my anger, hatred, and sadness. You took it all and you never said a word, so after time it just became normal. " He stopped speaking as he tried to reach for his cup once more, not wanting him to strain I got it and handed it to him. I was absolutely baffled at his revelation, and wasn't quite sure how to take everything he was telling me.

"I was wrong Isabella, I should have been there to comfort and love you, but instead I pushed you away and left you to deal with the ramifications of your mother's death alone. That was never my intention, I know you may not believe it, but I do love you, and I always have, even if I haven't shown it in the past." He was sobbing now, clutching onto my hand with as much power as he could muster. "Please Isabella, I know I don't deserve it, but can you find it in your heart to forgive me? Can you give me one more chance to try to be the father you should have had all those years ago?"

I tried to swallow the lump in my throat to answer him, but it was just too much. I nodded my head before I jumped up from the chair to hug him. I was mindful of his tubes, but I just needed to be wrapped in my father's arms. Somewhere in the back of my head I knew that this could just be the medication talking, and tomorrow he may not remember any of this, but right now, in this moment, this was exactly what I needed, what I have needed for years.

"I…I am so sorry." I sobbed into his chest.

"Shh, child, it's alright." He spoke softly as he ran his hand over my head, through my hair. "We both made some mistakes, let's leave it in our past, and focus on our future. I want us to be a family again, Isabella. For you, for Jasper, for me, but mostly for your mother. I will love her until the day I die, and when I meet her at those pearly gates again, I want to tell her, yes I made mistakes, but I fixed them, and I tried to be the best father I possibly could."

I left my father's room shortly after that, he needed his rest, and I needed to process everything that just happened. Edward asked me how it had gone, but what could I really say? My father apparently saw my dead mother and she told him off so now he wanted to try and re-build our relationship? Yeah it sounded way too crazy to repeat. So I went with a simple "We talked, it went well, better than expected." And left it at that.

I was nervous to see my father in the following days, afraid he would forget his declaration, or go back to his dictator ways, but on the contrary he seemed to be trying with all of his might to right his wrongs. We talked about my time spent at Maria's and the cause of my being there, he admitted that he over-reacted, and he apologized. I admitted that I had been wrong to sneak around behind his back and I apologized. We talked about Edward, a lot, and though he wouldn't admit to liking him, he had a hard time hiding his grin as he re-told the story of Edward confronting him. "At least I know you have a man that can defend you if it was necessary." He said with a chuckle.

I wasn't naive enough to believe that all of our issues would be solved in a few days, but I did have high hopes that over time we would be able to build a relationship that not only we, but also my mother would be proud of.

Thank you guys so much for your feedback from last chapter! I know most of you were wondering about Jasper, so I hoped this cleared some things up for you.

You know what to do…Hit that review button and leave me some love!

Final chapter will be posted next Sunday….and teasers will be sent out by Thurs for those of you that review