A/N: Sorry it took me a few days to update! I know y'all got spoiled and got used to the multiple updates a day, or at least once a day. My laptop broke again in the middle of writing this chapter and I swear I almost cried when I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to get it back! Sooo keep up the reviews, I LOVE reading them and I REALLY appreciate them. So if you like it, tell me what you think! And if you have any ideas, let me know. Don't hold back! You guys are the best! :) And also, take some time to read "Dirty Little Secrets Always Come Out", "Drunken Encounters", and "Consequences", and tell me what you think about those!
She wakes up screaming, and it barely phases Fitz at all. He had expected that. He knew that something like that was going to happen. He was almost positive that she was going to have nightmares, that she was going to relive that terrible night, especially in her dreams. He took a deep breath and rolled over on his side so that he was facing her. "Shh…Mels, it's okay." He whispered quietly, reaching over and softly rubbing her arm. He wasn't sure how comfortable she would be with him touching her, so he decided to take it slow and gradually add a little bit more until he knew where her stopping point was. He knew that she had completely closed up after his father had attacked her, and that on occasion when she would think about that night, she wasn't necessarily in the mood to be touched. But surprisingly, she was okay with him touching her arm, so he took the next step and pulled her into his arms.
Even more surprisingly, she was okay with that as well. She leaned into him, burying her face in his chest. She sobbed into his t-shirt, her tears soaking the light gray fabric. Fitz continued to calm and caress her, softly rubbing her back as she cried. He hated seeing her like this. He hated seeing what his father had done to her, how badly he had truly scarred her, how he had forever changed her. He knew that punching him a few times wasn't going to make up for that, but considering that he wasn't dead, that he was very much alive, Fitz would have the chance to make up for what he did to Mellie sometime soon. For now, he had to focus on his wife and on making sure that she was okay, that she would be okay. He couldn't imagine how tough it was for her to have to see Big Jerry, for her to have to realize that the man who had raped her wasn't dead after all.
Fitz thought that he was free after Big Jerry had died. He couldn't even begin to imagine how free his wife had felt. And now, to have that taken away from her, to realize that he wasn't really dead, that he was well and alive and standing in her house, he couldn't possibly imagine that either. That had to be heartbreaking, that had to be painful. And God, how much he wished to take his wife's pain from her, to make things better, to just hold her in his arms and ensure her that everything was okay and that his father would never touch her again. He was going to take care of her this time, he was going to make sure that nothing bad happened to her ever again. Especially at the hands of his father.
Teddy picked his head up when he heard Mellie cry, and he looked over at her, frowning slightly. "Momma okay?" The little boy asked, turning onto his side to face his distraught mother and father. He reached over and played with Mellie's hair, and Mellie couldn't help but relax at her son's soft, innocent touch. She exhaled loudly as she stopped crying, and she pulled her face away from Fitz's chest, her eyes red and face puffy.
"Yes, baby. Mommy's okay." She ensured him, leaning forward slightly and kissing the boy's soft forehead. "I promise. You can go back to sleep, baby. Mommy's sorry for waking you up." Mellie apologized, running her hand through his dark hair.
Teddy nodded and snuggled into Mellie, laying his head on her chest while he continued to play with her hair. "Mes Superman…Mes gotta stay ups and takes care of yous." He told his mother, pouting slightly as he closed his eyes. He wasn't awake long enough to even hear Mellie's response.
Mellie smiled to herself as she rubbed Teddy's back, bunching up his Bob The Builder pajama shirt with every movement of her hand. Fitz leaned forward and kissed Mellie's head, taking in the scent of her strawberry shampoo. "Do you wanna talk about it?" He questioned, a way of asking, even though he knew the answer. Mellie didn't like talking about much, especially when it came to Big Jerry and what he had done to her. The woman had kept that a secret for over 15 years, she wasn't going to open up to Fitz about every detail all of a sudden. And he didn't blame her. He had started to get her to open up about things, since she had gotten pregnant with the twins and since they decided to repair their marriage, but he wasn't going to push her. If she wanted to talk about it, she did, and great, they would talk about it. But if she didn't, then that was just as fine as well. He wasn't going to force her to talk about it if she didn't want to.
"Not really." Mellie mumbled as she curled up close to her husband, allowing him to hold her. Even she was surprised; that wasn't something that she usually let him do after she had been thinking about that night, about Big Jerry. And especially now, after she saw him, after she had the shocker of the century, she figured she would be significantly worse than she had usually been. But for some reason, she was doing well, she was doing better. And she was beyond grateful for that. "It was...It was like I was reliving it. It was bad, it was detailed, it was exactly like that night. Every word, every touch, every movement..." Mellie frowned as she spoke. "I was reliving it all. And it's not like I haven't had the dream before, it's not like it doesn't happen multiple times a month. I'm used to it by now. It just never gets any easier. Having to hear him speaking to me again, having to feel his hands on me, him...inside of me..." She fought back tears and swallowed hard. "It never gets any easier."
Fitz nodded as he listened to every word, his heart breaking as she spoke to him. He inhaled a deep breath and held her close to him, shushing her quietly as she cried. "Mels, it's okay...I'm here. I've got you." He whispered, rocking her softly. "I've got you, baby." Fitz told her, sighing quietly as he tried not to cry. God, he was trying so hard not to let the tears flow. He hated seeing Mellie so broken and he couldn't help but be upset by it. But he couldn't cry. He had to be strong for her, he had to be tough for her. He couldn't cry.
Mellie jumped slightly, and Fitz immediately pulled his arms from around her. "What's wrong?" He asked, assuming that he had done something wrong, assuming that him holding her had finally hit her. That she had finally realized what she was letting him do, that she was letting him touch her. Mellie reached behind him and took his arms, putting them back around her.
"No...You're okay. You were really helping. It wasn't you. You were making me feel better, Fitz." She laid back against him, her hand reaching down and rubbing her belly. "The baby's moving. I haven't felt it move until now. So it was just a shock, that's why I jumped." Mellie told him, still facing the wall. She wanted to look at him but between Fitz's arms being around her, and with Teddy being on her chest, she couldn't move. "Baby?"
"Yes, honey?" He asked, running his hand through her hair.
"He's still here, isn't he?"
Fitz felt his heart drop to his stomach when she had asked that. He just nodded, unable to answer her. "Yes." He responded after a few seconds.
Mellie pushed his arms off of her and gently moved Teddy. He growled in his sleep and she couldn't help but smile. Fitz looked confused, curious as to what she was doing. She sat up and looked at him, wiping the dried tears from her face. "I'm not gonna be afraid of him anymore, Fitz. I'm not gonna hide because he's here. He can't have control over my life anymore, he had that for over 15 years and I hated it. He made me want to kill myself, he made me try to kill myself and it's not okay that he has that kind of control over me. That's not okay with me."
"So what're you saying, Mels?" Fitz questioned, trying to make sure that he understood everything that she was saying.
"I'm saying that he's in my house. This is my house. We aren't in his house anymore, this is my home. And I'm not going to hide in my room and cry because he's here. I'm going to get up and I'm going to go work, and I'm going to take care of my children because I'm not letting him control me anymore. I'm not letting him have any effect on my actions or my feelings or my emotions anymore. I'm just not allowing it. Even after I thought he died, I still let him have some power over me, and I shouldn't have. I should've never let him have any power over me."
Fitz couldn't believe how tough his wife was. He was listening to her, he was taking in every single word that she was saying and he knew she was tough, God, he knew that she was tougher and stronger than he was in most cases. But this was amazing him. Hearing her say this, hearing her talk about this was truly amazing. "Mellie, baby..." He was about to ask her if she was ready, if she was sure. But he knew that she wouldn't be saying this if she wasn't. She always tried to do things that she wasn't ready for because she felt like she had to, but this was something that he knew that she wouldn't push herself to do if she wasn't truly ready. He knew that she was ready. "I am so proud of you."
Mellie smiled and got out of bed, going into the bathroom. Fitz decided to let her be and got dressed himself. He was tying his tie when she came into the closet in her bra and panties, her hair already dried and pulled up into a bun. She got dressed in a red dress, looking at her bump in the mirror. It was starting to show a bit more, it was beginning to become obvious that she was pregnant. She smiled as she ran her hand over her belly, in her own little world as she thought about their baby, about the child that was inside of her. Fitz just watched her, the smile on his face not fading throughout the entire five minutes that his wife had just been mesmerized over her stomach.
When she finished, she went back into the bathroom and did her makeup. When she came back into the bedroom, Teddy was awake and jumping on the bed. "Mommmmmaaa!" He shouted as he jumped, and Mellie chuckled, walking over to him.
"What, baby boy?" She asked, pulling him into her arms. He giggled uncontrollably, burying his face in the crook of Mellie's neck.
"Mes work with yous today?" He asked, wrapping his legs around Mellie's waist as she held him. "Mes wanna be with yous, not Marta." Teddy pouted, laying his head on Mellie's shoulder.
Mellie kissed the top of her son's head. "Of course you can work with me today." She rubbed his back, rocking him softly and slowly, knowing how much he enjoyed that. "You can be with me, baby." She held him as she put on her heels, her gaze now on Fitz. "Are you ready?"
Fitz nodded and walked over to his wife and son, planting a kiss on Teddy's cheek before taking Mellie's hand. "I am." He squeezed her tiny hand gently, placing his other hand over it and bringing it up to his lips, softly kissing it. He walked with her and Teddy out into the hallway, walking down to Mellie's office. He went in with her and smiled at her Chief of Staff before turning his head to Mellie. "If you need anything, if you need anything at all, Mels, please call or text me. I'll be here in a heartbeat."
"I'll be okay, Fitz, I promise." She tilted her head back and softly kissed his lips.
Fitz kissed her back, running his hand down her back. "I love you."
"I love you too."
He smiled at her and pulled away, turning to leave. "It's you and me." He told her, blowing her a kiss as he left her office.