House gets an unpleasant surprise.

Another Sixty Minutes

"Hmm."

"What?"

"What's your mother's first name?"

"Why would you need to know that?"

"I'm just curious."

"My mother's name is Blythe."

"Huh."

"What?"

"I don't know how to say this exactly, and I certainly don't want to cause you any undue alarm. But the front desk downstairs just called me."

"Called to tell you what?"

"It seems that your mother is here."

"My mother?"

"Apparently."

"It's got to be some sort of mistake."

"They say it's not."

"It has to be."

"I take it you weren't expecting her?"

"Are you kidding me? I wasn't even going to call her back until tomorrow."

"So this is a surprise visit?"

"Generally the word surprise implies something that has the potential to be enjoyable."

"Right."

"And just in case it wasn't obvious, I don't want to see her."

"Greg, she's here."

"So what?"

"I don't just mean in the building. I mean here, as in on this floor, as in right outside in the waiting area."

"I don't care. I don't want to talk to her."

"You can't avoid her indefinitely."

"Actually I can. She's not going to live forever."

"That would be a good argument, if she were say...five hundred miles away and not right outside in the waiting area."

"Does those windows open from the inside?"

"You planning on making some sort of escape?"

"How far of a drop do you think that is...thirty, forty feet?"

"You are not jumping out the window, Greg."

"Come on. There are bushes down there, and they're pretty thick. What's the worst that could happen, I break a leg? I break both legs? It'll heal...eventually."

"This is not a solution."

"Sure it is. It's just not a pleasant one. The fact is, I'd rather be in a body cast than talk to my mother right now."

"I'd rather you not be in a body cast at all, if I can help it."

"Don't you think it should be my choice what I do with my body?"

"Yes, I do. But as a doctor, you know that concept does not apply to people who are a danger to themselves. I think willingly jumping out of a window qualifies as self harm."

"..."

"Look...I realize that you're apprehensive, and I fully understand why you would be. But you need to deal with this. It isn't going to go away, just because you refuse to face it."

"Do I have to talk to her?"

"You don't have to talk to anyone."

"Can you make me talk to her?"

"You know that I can't."

"Good. Then it's settled. I'm not talking to her."

"But I think you need to recognize the possibility that if your mother went to the trouble to come all this way, she must care for you on some level."

"Yeah...that would make perfect sense, if we were dealing with a normal person here. Except we're not. Trust me, that's not why she's here."

"Then…why do you think she is here?"

"She can't handle the idea of me discussing her with a total stranger."

"What total stranger?"

"Who do you think?"

"You mean me?"

"It's just killing her that you know about all of our family's dirty laundry. Which is sort of paradoxical if you think about it, since she continues to deny its existence."

"She told you that?"

"Eh...In so many words."

"What did she say exactly?"

"She's concerned that I've been misleading you."

"Misleading me how?"

"She thinks that the only reason you'd be remotely sympathetic towards me is because I've convinced you of things that are not true. I assume she's here to set the record straight, tell you how difficult a child I was and what a wonderful mother she's been."

"And you fear that for some reason. Why?"

"I don't fear it."

"But you're hoping to avoid it."

"..."

"Because you think it's possible that she'd be successful at manipulating me."

"..."

"You think you're going to lose my support, that I'm going to disregard everything we've discussed, once I've heard what she has to say?"

"…"

"Greg, I swear to you that is not going to happen. I believe the things that you tell me."

"Yeah, well maybe you shouldn't."

"I know you haven't always been one hundred percent honest with me. But most people in therapy aren't. My loyalty ultimately lies with you. You are my patient. There's nothing she could tell me that would compromise my opinion of you in any way."

"You don't know that."

"Just what is it that you think she's going to tell me?"

"I don't know."

"What are you hiding?"

"Nothing."

"Is there some terrible, horrible thing you've done that I don't know about?"

"I don't know."

"Either there is or there isn't."

"No."

"Then what's the problem?"

"No problem. I just don't want to see her."

"So we've established."

"Apparently not, since we're still arguing about it."

"This could be a wonderful opportunity."

"No, it couldn't."

"Yes, it really could."

"This isn't going to go how you think it will."

"So tell me how it is going to go."

"She's going start by telling you what a difficult child I was, challenging is the word she'll use. Then she'll tell you how hard she and my dad tried to control me, how ungrateful I've been for their valiant efforts, how I couldn't be bothered to call or visit them once I left home. Then she'll top it off with some really impressive waterworks, feign remorse and passive aggressively beg for my forgiveness."

"So you've said before. She puts on quite a show. Did she do this often, during your childhood?"

"Pretty much on a regular basis."

"Can you give me a for instance?"

"When we were staying with my grandparents, her father expressed some concerns regarding her parenting skills, or lack thereof."

"What kind of concerns?"

"I don't remember what his exact observation was or what it had to do with. I only remember that it led to my mother sobbing on the floor, saying what a terrible mother she was and how no one appreciated all of her sacrifices."

"What sacrifices do you think she was referring to?"

"I have no idea."

"And what happened after she did this?"

"My grandparents eventually consoled her and spent the next few hours trying to convince her that she was a good mother, even though they clearly had reasons to doubt it. "

"Interesting. So she was able to emotionally manipulate them?"

"Not always. But sometimes."

"..."

"I also think that was about the time she started taking the Valium."

"Do you think there might be a connection between those two things?"

"Maybe."

"Did you notice any changes in her behavior that would indicate the use of tranquilizers?"

"She was certainly calmer and quieter. She'd often seem stoned, apathetic to everything that was going on around her. My father would be carrying on about something, and it was like she was in a fog. Sometimes I'd have to say her name two, three times in order to get her attention."

"So her default position when dealing with things was to garner sympathy."

"Yes."

"Why do you think that is?"

"She hates confrontation. She's a people pleaser. She can't handle the idea of anyone being…upset or angry with her, even if they have valid reasons for being so."

"So she thinks that people can't possibly be angry or upset with her, if they feel sorry for her."

"I guess."

"She was always like this?"

"As long as I've known her."

"Did your father ever express any sort of opinions about your mother's apparent sensitivity or erratic emotional states?"

"He used to use them against me."

"Use them against you how?"

"By saying...look what you've done. You've upset your mother or how can you do this to your poor mother?"

"It's interesting that he would phrase it that way. But did he ever imply that you'd upset him?"

"No. It was always about her, how she felt, what she wanted, that she was disappointed in me. My dad...didn't emotionally invest himself in anything."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning that perhaps he was using your mother as a proxy to express things he didn't otherwise feel comfortable expressing. It's easier for him to say that your mother was upset, then to admit that he might be upset."

"I suppose that's possible."

"But you'd prefer to believe otherwise."

"No. I just...have a hard time believing otherwise."

"..."

"But that doesn't mean it can't be true."

"Was your father very protective of your mother?"

"Yes and no."

"Explain."

"Well he clearly didn't respect her or view her as an equal. He treated her like she was a child who couldn't think for herself, and sometimes like she was downright stupid. But I think he would have died before he'd let anything happen to her."

"How did that compare to his attitude towards you?"

"I guess it was about the same."

"That's...surprising. How so?"

"I mean, his behavior was contradictory. He'd call me an idiot, scream at me and put me down. But he wouldn't tolerate other people abusing me, physically or verbally."

"What other people?"

"Other kids, teachers...anyone. It was like he thought he'd cornered the market on treating me like crap. It was fine for him to do it, but nobody else could."

"That must have been very confusing."

"I haven't really thought about it all that much."

"Was there ever any point during which your father being protective of you was to your benefit?"

"I suppose."

"Tell me about that."

"He bailed me out of trouble on more than one occasion."

"What kind of trouble?"

"I think I may have told you this already."

"I seem to have forgotten. Refresh my memory."

"I almost got suspended for getting into a fist fight with a teacher."

"That's right. And how did your dad go about preventing that from happening?"

"I have no idea. I only know that he did. He went into the principal's office and left me sitting out in the hallway. Ten minutes later he came back out and told me we everything had been squared away."

"Then surely there must have been a part of you that appreciated your father's protectiveness, even if it was as selective as you say."

"Not really."

"Why not?"

"Because it was never about me."

"Who do you think it was about?"

"It was about him."

"How so?"

"I was an embarrassment to him. His goal was to maintain a certain appearance, and I was thwarting him at every turn. He wasn't trying to keep me out of trouble because he cared about my well being. He just didn't want me making him look bad."

"I see. He actually told you this?"

"Many times."

"And you don't think there was any part of him that genuinely cared about your well being?"

"If there was evidence of that, I never saw it."

"Is it possible that there was evidence to that, and you were just blinded by your anger?"

"It's possible. But not likely."

"How would you rate your mother's intelligence?"

"Compared to what?"

"Compared to your own, let's say."

"She's...not an intellectual."

"So she's not unintelligent, just unsophisticated."

"My grandfather once told me that my mother had been planning to go to nursing school, before she married my father. She wanted to work for The American Red Cross."

"And I take it she never did."

"Nope."

"Did she go to college at all?"

"Not as far as I know."

"Did she ever express any regret about that?"

"If she did, she never mentioned it to me."

"Do you think that might have been one of the sacrifices she was referring to?"

"Maybe."

"Did she have any hobbies or interests? How did she spend her free time?"

"Well...she seemed to enjoy the usual domestic stuff...cooking, sewing and having a garden, if there was room for one wherever we happened to be living. She took a cake decorating class once, at some community center. She'd play bridge with the other military wives."

"..."

"Her life was fairly unexciting, outside of the frequent relocations. But I got the feeling that's exactly the way she wanted it."

"Perhaps that's why she wanted it that way. I can't imagine that it wasn't stressful to have to keep moving around like that. I'm sure she was longing for some sort of stability."

"..."

"And she never worked?"

"She would sometimes give piano lessons to other kids who lived on base or in our neighborhood. But only when we had access to a piano."

"Did she teach you to play?"

"Sort of."

"Sort of?"

"Well she taught me to read music. But I more or less taught myself to play."

"How old were you when you learned to read music?"

"I think...six."

"That's rather remarkable."

"..."

"Did your mother ever express any opinion about your musical talent?"

"Not really. It was almost like she resented me for it."

"Why would you think that?"

"Because by the time I was ten, I had already surpassed her in skill. I wasn't just playing. I was composing. I think she wanted to be able to take credit for that somehow. But I was rather self sufficient from an early age. And while it had nothing to do with her at all, she seemed to interpret my being self taught as me not needing her."

"What else did you teach yourself to do?"

"Play guitar, play harmonica, juggle, ride a bike, swim, read , w r i t e and speak several foreign languages..."

"And instead of being proud of your accomplishments, she resented them."

"No, that's just it. She was proud. I think she just . . . wanted to be the one who'd taught me."

"That's not an unreasonable thing for a parent to want."

"No, just unrealistic."

"How did you reach the conclusion that she felt you didn't need her?"

"She'd flat out say so. She'd say things like I guess you don't need me at all or I guess I'll just be going, since it looks like you've got things under control. She'd always say it like it was something bad I'd done, like it was wrong of me to have figured something out for myself."

"I'm guessing that she was feeling inadequate and she projected that onto you, so that your not needing her was the result of a character flaw on your part and not hers."

"Yeah, that's about it."

"I'm curious, was it your father's decision that your mother not work?"

"I'm assuming so, although I never actually heard him speak of it."

"Did your parents argue much?"

"Very rarely. But I suspect it's possible that they just weren't doing it in front of me."

"How often would your father raise his voice?"

"Most of the time."

"Was he frequently angry?"

"No, that's just it. He wasn't angry. He was just loud. He had a tendency to very...enthusiastic."

"Enthusiastic about what?"

"About whatever he happened to be discussing at the moment."

"What sort of things would he discuss?"

"Politics mostly, military issues. He didn't tend to bother with things that didn't directly pertain to him."

"Would he discuss these things with your mother?"

"She was kind of naive in that regard. So she would mostly listen. She rarely had the confidence to interject. I think that's because, whenever she did, my dad had a way of making her regret it."

"So your dad was rather passionate about his work."

"Very much so."

"Did he ever yell at your mother?"

"Not directly, not more than a handful of times."

"Did he yell at you much?"

"Sort of."

"Sort of?"

"Like I said, he was hardly ever angry. But he had a commanding voice. Somehow he managed to be loud, to appear menacing, without implying any sort of emotional involvement."

"Do you think that emotional desensitization might have been the result of his military training?"

"Maybe. But I think a lot of it was just his personality."

"Did your mother have many relationships outside of the one with your father?"

"You mean romantic relationships?"

"I mean any relationships."

"She had a lot of casual acquaintances. Whenever we moved she would make new friends fairly easily. She was personable and people liked her. But her relationships with people were usually superficial. I don't think she was ever really close with anyone other than my father, if one would even consider them as being close."

"Do you think your mother and father's relationship was superficial?"

"I don't know. I think all marriages are superficial, to some extent. You can only tolerate being around someone for so long, before you start to lose your mind and want to strangle them. But when two people love each other, you can usually tell just by watching, by observing their body language and the way they interact."

"And what did you observe?"

"I honestly never saw any real chemistry between them."

"Because your mother had few quality relationships, I'm guessing she probably relied rather heavily on your father for companionship."

"She was rather dependent on him, yes."

"Did he ever express an opinion about her neediness?"

"No."

"Did he ever seem bothered by it?"

"Quite the opposite."

"How so?"

"I don't think he wanted her to have a life outside of him."

"Did you ever feel like your dad was trying to prevent your mother from having a life outside of him?"

"Occasionally."

"Like how?"

"Like...he didn't care much for her family. I don't think they cared much for him either. But he alienated them as much as possible. And because we moved around so much, often from one country to another, my mother didn't see as much of them as she would have liked."

"So you think your father was actively trying to keep your mother from spending time with her family?"

"In a round-a-bout way."

"What about your mother's acquaintances? Did he attempt to alienate them as well?"

"He would often invent reasons to disapprove of the people with whom my mother chose to spend her time."

"What kind of reasons?"

"Everything from the cars they drove to the way they spelled their last names, to the way that they wore their hair. I remember this one time he ranted for hours about some woman, because she'd wore bright red lipstick in church. Apparently only prostitutes were allowed to do that."

"Were his reasons always so trivial?"

"Most of the time."

"And how would your mother react to this?"

"She would discontinue her relationship with anyone my father didn't like, sometimes immediately."

"Why do you think she was so compliant? Surely she must have disagreed with him, at least some of the time."

"Like I said, she doesn't like conflict."

"So she would frequently bend to your father's will, in order to eliminate any potential confrontation."

"More like always."

"Do you think she was afraid of him?"

"I don't know. But I think that if she were, she would never admit it."

"Did you ever feel like your father was trying to protect your mother from you?"

"Yes."

"Tell me about that."

"I can't really explain it. It's not...I don't have any concrete evidence. It was just a feeling. Maybe it was the way he phrased things. But it was like...I was intruding on their lives somehow, just by being there."

"So you never really felt like you belonged, that you were part of a family unit."

"Not really, no. More like the third wheel."

"How about your dad? What sort of relationships did he have?"

"He had one or two close friends. But he was alot like my mother in that respect. His friendships tended to be strictly casual and superficial. And he didn't go out of his way to spend a whole lot of free time with anyone of inferior rank."

"That was important to him, military status?"

"Very. But also...it would have been inappropriate for him to socialize with his subordinates."

"Did your father have any hobbies?"

"He liked to hunt, go to the shooting range, fish, play poker. He'd occasionally golf. He tended to become obsessed with home improvement projects. But he didn't really have any official hobbies."

"I'm curious about something."

"Okay."

"Does your mother know that you're living with James?"

"Yes."

"And how does she know that?"

"I told her."

"Does she realize what that actually means?"

"I...seriously doubt it. But Wilson and I have lived together before, though. So I doubt it came as a shock to her, or that she'd be suspicious of the reason."

"Do you have any intention of sharing that information with her at some point?"

"Uh...no."

"Why?"

"Because...the chances of her not disapproving are slim to none, and slim just left town."

"So?"

"So for once in my life, I'd prefer not to feel guilty for enjoying something."

"You think she has the power to make you feel guilty?"

"She's probably the only person on the planet who does."

"What exactly would you be feeling guilty about?"

"I don't know."

"But you're certain that your mother would disapprove of your alternative lifestyle."

"..."

"What exactly do you think you mother's disapproval would be based on?"

"A combination of things...religious beliefs, cultural ignorance, societal influence and the fact that I've never married and therefore have failed to supply her with a daughter-in-law or a gaggle of grandchildren."

"Has she expressed any opinions about your apparent lack of romantic relationships?"

"I think she's brought it up during almost every conversation we've had in the last thirty years. She even tried to set me up a few times."

"How recent was that?"

"Not recent at all. It was fifteen years ago at least."

"Did you ever date any of the women your mother tried to set you up with?"

"A few. It never went very well."

"What would you do if your mother somehow found out about the nature of your relationship with James?"

"I guess that would depend on how she reacted."

"So there isn't at least some small part of you who is happy about your relationship with James, and who wants to experience the joy of sharing the news of that happiness with the other people in your life?"

"Well, sure. That would be great. But that's not reality."

"If you knew for sure that sharing that information with your mother would result in her supporting your relationship with James, would you do it?"

"I already know that it won't."

"..."

"And it's not like I need her approval anyway."

"That doesn't mean it wouldn't be nice to have it."

"..."

"Have you and James defined the parameters of your relationship?"

"Meaning what?"

"Like...how do you refer to one another...boyfriend, husband, domestic partner?"

"We don't."

"But if you had to call him something, what would it be?"

"Wilson."

"Are you planning on telling anyone besides me about your relationship with James?"

"I'm thinking not."

"Why?"

"Well...he seems reluctant to go public. I don't care either way. I wouldn't mind people knowing. But I don't want to push it, if it's only going to make him uncomfortable."

"Does it bother you that he might want to keep your relationship a secret?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because...it just doesn't."

"..."

"People like Wilson. Everyone likes Wilson."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"He has an excellent professional reputation. I'm assuming he doesn't want to do anything that might compromise that."

"And you believe that your own professional reputation could withstand a beating."

"Wilson is thin skinned. He cracks under even the slightest pressure. If we outted ourselves, there would inevitably be some sort of backlash and he...wouldn't be able to handle it. He'd panic. And when Wilson panics, he pushes everyone away."

"So you think that if things got too heavy for him, he might arbitrarily choose to end your relationship?"

"I know he would."

"Why?"

" Because he has before ."

"How many times has James a c t u a l l y attempted to end your relationship, as a result of some sort of stress that you caused?"

"Only twice. But that's two times too many."

"So you're hoping to spare him any potential stress, in order to ensure the longevity of your relationship."

"That's...one way to put it."

"And what about you?"

"What about me?"

"Aren't you also affected by stress?"

"I don't give a crap what people think about me."

"That wasn't what I asked."

"..."

" A n d even if that were the case, i t doesn't mean it wouldn't be stressful."

"..."

"How would you feel about talking to your mother privately, maybe here in my office, instead of out there in the common area?"

"..."

"I could be present, if you like."

"Yeah...I don't know."

"I know you're scared. I know that you don't want to deal with this. But I think you're going to regret it if you don't."

"I think I'm going to regret it either way."

"You don't have to say or do anything that you don't want to, Greg. If she asks any questions that you're not comfortable answering, then don't answer. If you ask her anything that she refuses to answer, don't push it. Just treat this like an ordinary social call."

"Yes, because I've had so many of those in my lifetime."

"I just mean...I think this could work if you're willing to maintain certain boundaries."

"Easier said than done."

"Isn't everything?"

"..."

"So are you interested in doing this or not? She's been waiting out there for almost an hour now. I'm sure she's run out of magazines to read."

"..."

"Greg?"

"It's not going to work."

"Why not?"

"She's not going say anything with you in the room, nothing important anyway."

"You're certain?"

"Positive."

"Do you think she'd be more candid if I weren't present?"

"I don't think she's going to be candid at all."

"My schedule is clear for the next eighty minutes or so. Perhaps the two of you could use my office to talk. And I could linger nearby, in case you needed me."

"Needed you for what?"

"Anything."

"That sounds...almost doable."

"You're sure? Because I don't want you to do this, unless you're absolutely sure."

"Yeah."

"Alright then. Terrific."

"..."

"What's wrong?"

"It's just...this is really weird."

"How so?"

"I mean...this is my mother we're talking about here."

"Yeah."

"Why the hell am I so nervous to talk to my own mother?"

"Because it matters."

"..."

"Because...we get nervous about things that matter."

"I don't."

"Well you do now."

"Wait a minute. Wait...I don't know if I can do this."

"Trust me, you can."

"I have no idea what you could possibly be basing that on."

"Knowledge and experience."

"..."

"Do you trust me?"

"It's not a matter of trust."

"But do you trust me?"

"I don't know."

"..."

"You'll be right outside?"

"If that's what you want, yes."

"..."

"And if at any point you become uncomfortable, or if you feel yourself starting to get anxious, just get up, excuse yourself and walk out."

"Okay. "

"Okay?"

"Yeah, okay. Let's get this over with."