Somehow I'm Neither Here Nor There

One week later…

Kurama POV

When is she going to come back? Other than the first time, she's never been gone this long. I just want to sort everything out. I want the truth. But do I? Do I really? Yes. I want to know what she is really feeling, no matter how much it hurts.

The phone rings, and I jump. Shizuru glances at the clock. "It's for you."

"How do you know?"

"Just a hunch," she shrugs.

The phone rings again, and I grab it out of the cradle. "Hello?"

"Hello, may I speak to Shuichi?" a woman's voice asks. How does Shizuru make such predictions?

"This is he."

"This is Dr. Takei. It's four thirty. Is there a reason Anna isn't here?" She sounds so worried.

But Anna's not there. "Not that I'm aware of," I respond. Why isn't she there? "I haven't actually seen her in two weeks."

"Then how did she get here last week? She told me you dropped her off." What? Anna's lying to Dr. Takei? Exactly what is going on here? Where is she?

"Honestly…I don't know. She disappears into the forest, and we won't see her for a week, but she always makes it to her appointment somehow." I don't want to freak her out with the fact that Anna likes to hitchhike. Hitchhike. Could something have happened to her? What if her innate sense of self-preservation failed her at exactly the wrong moment?

But she freaks out anyway. "You let a girl at risk of committing suicide run around a forest alone and don't worry when she doesn't come back?" Dr. Takei nearly shrieks.

I can't keep all of the sarcasm out of my voice. It's my natural defense against letting her hear how panicked I really am. Where is Anna? "There's a surprise. You don't really know Anna. She obviously hasn't opened up to you as much as you think she has. The forest is her real home. The forest is where she is happiest. And if we tried to stop her or follow her, she would be at risk of committing homicide."

"You have got to be kidding me."

Unfortunately, no. And she doesn't believe me. "Dr. Takei…when we found her, she'd been living in a forest alone for two years. We can assume she is safe." Can we? Can we really assume that? No. We can't. I can't risk that. "I'll take care of it."

"Okay. Thanks for your time, Kurama." Wait, Kurama? How could she…?

"How do you know my name?" I ask.

There is silence at the other end of the line. Eventually, she says, "I can't answer that due to patient confidentiality. I do, however, believe that you can figure it out." And actually that answers my question. There is a loud click as she hangs up the phone. How much does Anna talk about me?

I'm breathing fast. Despite what I told Dr. Takei, I find Anna not showing up for her appointment very worrisome. I pace back and forth with my hands behind my head. Then my hands drop, and I begin wringing them. What do I do?

"What's wrong, Kurama?" Shizuru asks.

"I don't know where Anna is."

"You haven't known where Anna is for a fortnight." Is it just me or does her voice sound…guarded? And something is off…you. She said you. Does that mean she knows where Anna is? Or does it mean she just doesn't care?

"But she didn't show up for her appointment today!"

"What are you going to do?" You again. Not we. What is with her? Doesn't she care about Anna at all?

"How can you be so calm?" I shout.

Very slowly she replies, "Getting angry and panicked won't help find her, Kurama."

She does care. She's just taking this better than I am. And she's right. She's right. "Yes. Calm," I say. "I'll go check the river. She said it's her favorite place. I want to see if she's been there in the last day or two."

"And if she hasn't?"

How in hell can she be so calm? How can she even imply that I might not be able to find Anna? "If she hasn't, I'll call in a freaking search party!"

"Kurama," she sighs, shaking her head. "What am I to do with you?"

What's that supposed to mean? Before I can ask, I'm out the doors and down the steps.

Two hours later…

"When and where did you last see her?" the officer asks me.

I lead him and his partner to Anna's river. "This is where I last saw her."

"When?"

"Two weeks ago."

"Two weeks? And you're just now reporting her missing?" They find that suspicious. I don't blame them.

"Officer, you need to understand something about Anna. She could live out here for years on her instincts alone. She frequently disappears for a week or so. Once she disappeared for four months." Should I mention the fact that she lived alone in a forest for two and a half years before we found her? No. They probably think she's mad as it is.

"Then why report her missing this time when she's been gone, er, only two weeks?" That…that's a very good question.

How to explain…? "She was seeing a psychiatrist. She always got to her appointments. She missed today's session." Anything more than that and they'll probably think I'm crazy too. They'll probably think we're all crazy. Which isn't exactly out of the question at this point.

"The psychiatrist's name?"

"Dr. Hikari Takei."

"Who was the last person to see her?"

"Known would be Dr. Takei."

"Known?"

"It's quite possible she's been hitchhiking."

They freeze. The woman says, "You people are all mad."

"Just find Anna," I say shortly.

I walk away, and they follow at a distance. I hear one of them say, "I get the feeling that there's something he's not telling us."

"I got the same feeling from the girl. Even more so. They're both hiding something. But I think there's also something that she's hiding from him."

Shizuru is hiding something from me? Yes. I guess I already knew that. I just didn't want to believe she knew something about Anna's whereabouts that she wasn't telling me.

I lead the officers out of the house saying, "Thank you."

"No problem. We will do our best to find your girlfriend."

"She's not my—" I get out before the man cuts me off.

"Kid, I've been around awhile. My advice: save it for someone who'll believe you. Good night."

Is it really that easy to see I'm in love with her?

They leave, and I shout, "Shizuru!"

"Yes?" She walks up behind me.

"I know you're hiding something from me."

"I figured you did. But I wasn't going to say anything unless you brought it up." She makes a face that says quite clearly she wishes I hadn't.

Too late for that. "What do you know, Shizuru?"

"Last Friday when I all but kicked you out of the temple, it was because Anna called and asked me to. She came up here and talked to me. That's all. I don't know where she is now." Why do I feel like there is truth hanging by a technicality somewhere in all of that?

"Does Anna's disappearance have anything to do with your unexplained one-day absence on Saturday?" She doesn't respond. That means yes. "Where is she, Shizuru?"

"Kurama," she says sharply. "I swore to her I would not tell. I have told you too much already, by saying I have seen her. Do not deceive yourself into thinking that you are the only one who had to work to gain her trust. I am not going to risk that. Her trust is important to me, too. Just remember, if she had wanted you to know, she would have told you herself. You should just be happy that you know she is safe." She turns and walks angrily away from me.

The only thing I can think is the fact that Anna doesn't want me to know where she is. She's running again. And now she is a missing person in two countries.

Anna POV

So long. It's been more than four years since I was last here, but nothing has changed.

I go to the cemetery. There it is. His tombstone. Jeremy Matthews. July 16, 1956 to January 27, 2005. Forty eight years old.

I sink to my knees. "Hi, Daddy." I put the flowers I pulled from a garden next to his grave. "I'm sorry. I didn't know how deal with it. I didn't know how to handle any of it. So I did some kind of stupid things. Okay, I did a lot of really stupid things. I know I must be a disappointment to you. But I cam back to fix it all. That must count for something, right?" But of course he doesn't answer. If he does, I can't hear him. I stand. "I love you, Daddy." I wipe the tears from my cheeks and leave the cemetery.

Ten minutes later, I'm downtown. Good lord. I'd forgotten how much I didn't miss this place.

Well there you have it. Yay for Anna. Also...we've finally arrived at the longer chapters! Yay! Not sure how long they stay longer though...

T. R. Blessing: Yes that's what I meant by stupid. Stupid for the way she's going about it, not for what she's actually doing. Thanks for the review!

Insanity4Apples: Me neither. And Anna doesn't want him to be hurt either. I shall play devil's advocate for a moment by pointing out what another reviewer noticed: Anna's reasons for doing what she's doing in the way she's doing it are actually very sweet...in a very twisted, typical-Anna sort of way.

Sarcastic Nightmare: I think I'm going to refrain from giving a real comment on your review, since I know exactly what happens. :)

animegrlsteph: WHY DO YOU ALWAYS DO THAT TO ME? REVIEW LIKE THREE SECONDS AFTER I POST THE NEXT CHAPTER SO I HAVE TO GO IN AND ADD ANOTHER REPLY, THEN SWITCH THE CONTENT BECAUSE I STILL HAVEN'T LOGGED OFF MY EMAIL OR MY FF ACOUNT? WHY, WHY, WHY? As for her going to America, my favorite scene is the one with her mother, not her brother. the one with Connor is good too though... hahahaha.