Chapter 37 TNB

"Huh?" Damon frowned and cupped his face in concern and Stefan squinted at him a little and moved out of his touch. "Stef?" Damon swallowed a lump in his throat.

"What's going on? Where are we? Where's Silas?" Stefan backed away to increase his personal space as Damon looked at him as though he was an alien.

"Silas?" Damon mumbled, getting paler by the second as the realisation of what was happening began to sink in. "Stefan?"

"What's wrong with you?" Stefan frowned and Damon stepped backwards and knocked into the back of the sofa.

Stefan watched as Damon appeared to hyperventilate and stare at him in horror, before falling into an armchair and staring at the wall blankly.

"Of course." Stefan sighed and nodded. "I'm hallucinating again."

Damon didn't seem to hear him as his eyes continued to grow large and full of fear. Stefan moved around the sofa and took a seat next to him casually.

"Better than the alternative I suppose." He commented dryly and looked at Damon again. "So you are the part of my psyche that's still afraid huh? Figured I'd see my own body, not my brother's. He normally plays the asshole version or…or himself. Guess there's not too much difference." He joked and shook his head, but Damon still didn't respond.

Stefan sat forward, clasping his hands and waiting for a response from him. When he didn't get one, he clapped his hands loudly to get his attention.

"Hey! You're supposed to be keeping my mind off of this."

Damon looked at him and then down at his hands as he tried to pull himself together.

"You're not hallucinating brother. You're out of the safe now." He managed to utter, but his throat was dry and raw with emotion and Stefan blinked several times as he listened and thought it over.

"Nice tactic, but I've had this one already. It doesn't help me feel any better. Move on."

Damon exhaled and stood up, staggering towards the kitchen counter as Stefan watched him. He reached into a cupboard and pulled a bottle of bourbon out, ripping off the lid with shaking hands as he put it to his lips and drank a few gulpfuls. He panted, stared at the wall again and Stefan stood up.

"I can't remember the taste of bourbon." Stefan commented and walked towards him, reaching out for the bottle as Damon eyed him warily.

He reached out and Damon stepped back, almost cringing at the thought of physical contact between them and Stefan let out a surprised laugh.

"My hallucination, my bourbon. Give it over."

"I am not a hallucination!" Damon shouted at him fiercely, making him jump in surprise as Damon's eyes filled with tears and he panted like a cornered animal.

Stefan held his hands up passively and took a step back as a tear fell down Damon's cheek. He frowned. This was the weirdest hallucination ever. It was so real. Damon kept his eyes on him as he drank more from the bottle. Stefan took a seat in one of the bar stools and folded his arms. Damon wiped his mouth with his arm and reached into his pocket. His hands were shaking profusely now and he almost dropped the cell as he typed in Elena's number.

"Elena." He croaked, barely sounding sane. "Get over here now. Stefan Salvatore is back."

Stefan frowned as he heard Elena gasp on the other end of the line and hang up without speaking. What the hell was going on here? He felt a prickle on the back of his neck as he considered it. Could this be real?

"What's happening?" He asked and Damon huffed and began to drink again, each gulpful growing in size as he did, until Stefan reached over and grabbed the bottle from him fiercely, as his heart began to flutter. "Damon!"

Damon gasped and moved further away from him again.

"You've had amnesia." He blurted out and Stefan stared at him like he was stupid.

"I've had what?"

"I found you…got you out of the safe, but you…you didn't…" He stuttered and Stefan stood alarmed and took a step towards him.

Damon shrank back and backed into the fridge, making it groan as it rocked.

"You found me? This is real?"

Damon nodded and squeezed his eyes closed.

"What's the matter with you?" Stefan snapped irritated by his continuing strangeness and Damon looked at him again.

He took a few deep breaths and tried to calm down. He had to calm down and figure out how to deal with this. He couldn't think about anything other than explaining what was happening. He shouldn't, because he had to keep his head in the game. If he let himself contemplate what this all meant right now, he'd crumble. He'd crumble. He'd crumble. He sucked in a breath.

"Where was I?" Stefan asked commandingly.

"Lake."

"How long was I in there and why don't I remember anything?"

"A year."

"A year?!" Stefan shouted in horror and Damon's eyes glazed over. "It took you a year to find me?"

"Yes."

Stefan made a strangled sound somewhere between anger, pain and disbelief and Damon looked down at the floor.

"Amnesia?" Stefan sat back down on the stool. "How long for? Where am I?"

"Home."

"What?"

"Your place. Or it was…Stef's place."

"What are you babbling about? Why are you calling me by my whole name to Elena? Damon, what the fuck is happening?!"

"You've been different. When I got you out, you didn't know me by then. You didn't want to be you."

"What?"

"You…wanted to start again. He wanted to start again."

"You're freaking me out with this Damon. I am me. One person, right here!" He put his hand on his chest to demonstrate and Damon swallowed bile. "Did I lose my mind or something?"

"No." Damon frowned almost angrily and Stefan huffed. "You didn't want to remember, so you became someone else."

"And you let me move out and give up my life?" Stefan asked angry with incredulity.

"I didn't let you do anything!" He snapped. "I tried to help you, we all did but you made it clear you were someone new. You threw it all away so you could start again. You moved out, you got a job, made friends, made a life for yourself…" Damon began to rant heatedly and Stefan gaped the longer he spoke.

"A life? Are you kidding me?! You just gave up on me remembering?"

"You were gone! You were gone and he was here instead and after no amount of fighting and hating that we did to each other changed anything, I accepted it was what you wanted. What he wanted." Damon gritted his teeth at his inability to be coherent enough and separate the two of them.

Stefan got up and moved into the lounge again as he tried to get his head around everything he was hearing.

"So…" He exhaled and looked around the room. "I just, wiped everything away and started my life again? Here, in this place?"

"Yes." Damon mumbled.

"So why are you here?" He turned to look at him accusingly and Damon wilted and closed his eyes, leaning back into the fridge for support. "What, are we friends or something?"

Damon didn't answer and it made Stefan madder.

"You're not my brother if you accepted that I was not who I am, so what the hell are you doing here? Can't imagine you'd still be trying to change my mind back. You don't do emotional scenes well brother." He was so angry and resentful that Damon could have let this happen.

It almost felt as though some imposter had had his body and Damon had allowed it to happen instead of fighting for his brother to heal and come back to his life. All of them must have, otherwise he wouldn't be here in this strange place, wearing clothes he'd never seen before. He looked down at himself, noticing his state of upheaval. Clearly he'd been in the midst of dressing or sleeping or something, because his clothes had been thrown on rather unmeticulously. He looked over at Damon again.

"What's wrong with you? Not happy to see me? Prefer the other one did you?" He hissed accusingly and Damon clenched his jaw and shot him a look of fury.

"Fuck you, brother." He growled and Stefan gaped in disbelief.

"Are you kidding me?! You fucking left me in a safe for a year and then you let me ride a magical mystery tour! Now I'm back and you're standing there like someone's died! Fuck you, Damon. Fuck you!" He roared and flew at him across the room.

He lay into him, punching and tumbling to the ground with him as Damon tried to hold him back. He wasn't fighting like usual. Stefan growled in rage and beat him to a pulp beneath him, before Damon kicked him backwards off of him and rolled over to wipe blood from his face. Stefan stood up panting harshly and frowned. What was going on with him? He'd just let Stefan beat the crap out of him and he hadn't fought back.

"I always knew you were a sadistic, self involved bastard, but even this is low for you!" He was foaming at the mouth and Damon sighed and continued to wipe his face with his arm. "Where's my cell?!"

Damon grunted at the effort to sit up and tilted his head towards the lounge. He marched into the room again and looked around. There was a cell phone sitting beside the sofa on a coffee table. As he swept towards it, he knocked the table and an ornament fell onto the floor. He grunted, picking the small plane up and shoving it back on the table without a second glance as Damon stood up and watched him weakly. He grabbed the cell and scrutinised it. It wasn't his old one, it was new. So his other self hadn't even wanted his goddamn cell phone? Screw him.

"Where are we?" He growled as he typed a message to Caroline, surprised to see that she was in his address book.

Damon mumbled the name of the small town that had been their haven and Stefan huffed, shaking his head.

"I'm going home, right now. You're all going to explain to me exactly what the hell has been happening around here."

Damon didn't respond. Stefan popped the cell into his jeans when he realised he should shower and dress properly. He marched through to the bedroom and paused. The bed had clearly seen some carnal activity. The whole room smelled of sex. Perhaps he had a girlfriend in this life or could it be..? Elena was on her way over. Were they…maybe..? Then again, he wasn't sure he liked that idea. After all, that other person hadn't really been him. Would she have gone out with him in the vain hope that he might remember again? Or did she like this other guy enough too that she'd abandoned the idea of getting him back? He shook off his irritation for the moment and stripped his clothing onto the floor. He moved to what appeared to be a bathroom and jumped into the shower, looking around for all of the products he normally used.

There was nothing familiar except some cologne at the sink. Damon's normal brand. Weird. He washed quickly, feeling claustrophobic with the enormity of how strange and unfamiliar everything was. He quickly dried off and went back into the bedroom. His first instinct was to open the windows and clear the room of the smell of sex, but then why bother? This wasn't his place and he had no intention of continuing whatever weird version of a life had begun here. He went to a dresser and opened it, looking for some clothes when he pulled some jeans out and looked at them. They looked like Damon jeans.

"What?" He mumbled in confusion and lay them aside, pulling some more out.

They all looked like Damon's clothes actually. He brought a shirt up to his nose and took a sniff of the scent. Definitely Damon's. What the hell? Damon was living here too? He opened another drawer and pulled out some other clothes that were completely unfamiliar and he pulled them on as he tried to figure out why Damon would have clothes here. Had Damon given up on him completely or had he been staying here, trying to help him remember perhaps? Damon had said that they'd fought at length about his departure from his life. Maybe he hadn't given up. He felt a little guilty about beating him now.

"Damon?" He called but there was no answer.

He walked out into the lounge to find it empty and he called on him again. Damon had left.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Elena arrived five minutes later, looking concerned and amazed at the same time.

"Stefan?" She approached him slowly, warily and he folded his arms.

"Unfortunately." He grunted and she frowned. "Sorry to disappoint you."

"What?"

"It's actually me, not amnesia boy. Sorry to disappoint you."

He held back, feeling angry, waiting for her to respond similarly to Damon when she rushed into him and threw her arms around him.

"Oh my god, Stefan! Stefan!" She began to sob and he held her and sighed in relief and surprise. "I thought I'd never speak to you again!"

"It's me." Was all he could think to say and she pulled back and touched his face, as though she could check it was him by appearance alone.

"How? How is this possible? When did you remember?" She held his hands.

"I haven't. I mean I don't remember getting out of the safe or any of this." He tilted his chin towards the room and she looked around. "I woke up on the ground about an hour ago and I thought I was hallucinating again."

"Hallucinating?" She frowned and he nodded.

"It was the only way I could…get through some of the pain, in the safe." He said, this throat thick with emotion.

He'd have to face the trauma of those memories later, once he figured out what was going on.

"Are you ok? You feel ok?" She reached up and cupped his face and he nodded, giving a small smile.

"Give or take a few missing memories of whatever's going on here." He commented and she blushed and looked around again sheepishly.

"Where's Damon?" Elena's voice was small and strange and he raised his eyebrows. "Have you seen him yet?"

"I've seen him alright." He tensed again. "I might have over-reacted about all of this."

She searched his face worriedly and gave a small nod.

"Has he been trying to help me remember?"

"I…" She stuttered, blushing.

"His clothes are here. This is my apartment isn't it?"

"I…you…well, he…" She gave a quick laugh of discomfort and embarrassment. "He's looked after you." She settled on as an explanation and he nodded. "What did he say?"

"Nothing, practically. It was like drawing blood from a stone."

"Where did he go?"

"Bailed as usual. He would have bolted immediately had I not tried to get information out of him. Guess water is thicker than blood."

"He's been through a lot with you…with Stef…with the other you." She corrected and he frowned at the repeated confusion of his name with this other person. "Things have been complicated."

"Complicated how? How long have I been like this?"

"A few months." She gave a sad smile as his eyes widened. "You don't remember anything at all?"

"Nothing." He mumbled and she squeezed his hands. "Hey, are we...?" He raised his eyebrows at her and she seemed unsure of what he was asking. "Are we together?"

"No." She said confused. "We've been friends. He, he wasn't you Stefan. I didn't feel that way for him." She explained and part of that gave him some relief.

"Who is my girlfriend then? Someone new? Human?" He asked and she swallowed and blushed again.

"Stefan a lot has happened. The life you've been living wasn't anything like yours. He wasn't anything like you. He made some choices that you might not understand or agree with." She spoke gravely and he felt his skin prickle again.

"Like what?"

"We should really call Damon. He'll be able to explain things better than I can." She advised, pulling her hands from his and turning her back as she tried to figure out how the hell he was going to react to the knowledge that Damon and the other Stefan had been in love.

"Fine. I want some answers." He replied curtly at her refusal to explain herself and pulled the cell from the jeans.

He hit the message icon and looked through the messages, searching for Damon's number when he paused. The whole inbox was full of messages between he and Damon. He frowned in surprise and opened one of them.

"Love you."

"So you should."

Stefan's eyes widened as he read the words and he looked at Elena for answers when she gave him a small shrug of affirmation. He sucked in a breath and read it over and over again.

"Love you."

"Love you."

"Love you."