Prompt 1: Bill get jealous at the triangles in Dipper's math homework. I will leave it there.

Prompt 2: Could I request a small prompt of Gideon returning and Bill saving dipper from his revenge?

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"I feel like you don't even love me anymore!"

"Bill. I hate you. I've never loved you in the first place."

"How could you cheat on me like this?"

"Was that a pun?"

"I see how it is, Pine Tree. I see how it is."

"How what is? I'm trying to do homework! Go away!"

"Well, if you're going to be seeing other triangles, I guess I'll just leave!"

Dipper sighed as Bill left in a flash of blue.

"Finally."

~~0~~0~~0~~

"Get back here, Pines!"

Dipper gasped, sharp air puffing through his lungs painfully as he tried to push his legs to go faster, to pump harder, to get away from this mess he found himself in.

Of course Gideon wouldn't reform after all his time in prison. Of course he'd bulk up with not only strength, but stamina.

Of course he'd come after him for revenge.

Dipper turned another corner, skidding a bit with his arms flailing in a desperate bid to get away from the other. His cheeks puffed out and more sweat trickled down his back. In all honesty, he couldn't keep this up. Already, he was stumbling around and the brunet knew more than anything else that it would only be a matter of time until he collapsed. Still, he couldn't give up. He couldn't just stop running. He had to get to town- to civilization, where Gideon couldn't hurt him. Maim him.

Kill him.

"When I catch you, it's over! You hear me, boy? OVER!"

Dipper felt a few tears leak from his eyes from the pain in his muscles.

He fell, crashing to the ground in a messy heap.

This was it.

End of the line.

His legs were cramped up horribly and no matter how much he squirmed and struggled, he simply couldn't get up. More tears fell from his eyes, the salty water falling into his slightly open mouth where whines of agony and fear slipped out.

However, before Gideon could come upon him, striking him down, color drained from the world and time fell still.

"What the-"

"HEYA PINE TREE! LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE IN A PICKLE!"

Dipper startled and struggled to push himself around, legs still too sore to support him.

"Bill?! Bill Cipher?!"

"THAT'S MY NAME, DON'T WEAR IT OUT!"

Dipper groaned at the weak attempt at humor and shook his head. "What doyou want? Why are you here?"

Bill rolled his eye and floated closer, hands on his angles as he peered down at him. "WELL, I WAS JUST WATCHING YOU AS ALWAYS FROM MY HIGHER PLAIN OF EXISTENCE AND I NOTICED STAR HERE TRYING TO KILL YOU AND I THOUGHT, 'GEEZE! I CAN'T HAVE MY FAVORITE MEATSACK DYING ON ME YET!' SO HERE I AM!"

"That explains nothing at all."

"ON THE CONTRARY, KID. I THINK IT EXPLAINS EVERYTHING. YOU DOWANNA LIVE, RIGHT?"

Dipper blinked slowly before harshly shaking his head side to side. "No way, I'm not making another deal with you! You'll just screw me over like last time!"

"WELL, AREN'T YOU MOVING FAST? BUT THAT'S NOT WHAT I HAD IN MIND AS OF YET-"

Dipper's mouth dropped open. Did Bill just…make a innuendo?

No. Impossible. Right?

"I'LL SAVE YOU FROM STAR HERE ON ONE CONDITION- YOU GO OUT ON A DATE WITH ME!"

Dipper's mouth dropped open fully. "Wait, what?" He gasped.

Bill's arm extended and shut his jaw close. "YOU'RE GOING TO ATTRACT BUGS, KID. THOUGH THEY'RE NOT THE ONLY ONES WHO WANT TO GET IN THAT MOUTH OF YOURS~"

Dipper put his face in his hand and groaned.

Yes. This was really happening.

The evil demon of the mind Bill Cipher was trying, and failing, to flirt with him.

How did this become his life?

"N-no deal, Bill. This…This is too weird, okay?"

Bill's eye narrowed and he made a noise of annoyance.

"LISTEN, YOU CAN EITHER GO ON A DATE WITH ME, OR GET KILLED BY STAR. YOU'RE CHOICE, KID! TIME'S A TICKING, AFTER ALL!"

Dipper watched as Bill held out a flame coated hand at him, eye quirking up in the best imitation of a smile he could give.

Dipper groaned.

He really didn't have a choice here, did he? After all…it was only one date. So what if it was with a triangular dream demon from a higher plain of existence that had a god complex and couldn't stop screaming?

Dipper glanced down at his hand.

Well, actually, maybe a slow death would be better…

"TICK, TOCK PINE TREE! GOTTA HAVE AN ANSWER~"

Dipper's eyes snapped back up to the demon and his face hardened. Scowling, he reached out and clasped Bill's weird black hand, flames racing down both their arms.

"Fine. Deal!"

After all, how bad could it be?

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