to HPgirlKHfanGleek, don't we all want Kurt hurt. xD. to PenMagic, ohhhhh! i loaf you. and i'm glad you got it and YES i'm touching your feels. lets hope we do. theres another scene which i love so much thats coming up and i will die when i have to post it. i'll just be like 'READ IT. READ ALL OF IT AND COMMENT ON IT'. thank you, babe. to sadiejane35, it is crazy, right? to Carbon65, trippy!chapter. YES. thats exactly what i was doing, which is why i kept switching form Jelizabeth and Seblaine. ERUPT MY FANGIRL, but let your bowtie hold your feels. and damn. i didn't go downstairs today. to daisy head, oh, is Bas only in love with Blaine? ;o i hinted something before and you'll see what i'll do with it now. FFFFFF

random note: writing down your pen-names made me think: wait. if someone wants to reply to me, they'd say to eloquentfever. my pen-name is so strange and makes no sense and fffffffffffffff fevers arent fun. or eloquent. i just like the word 'eloquent' and 'fever'. why not xP

theres another note underneath all this drip drabble so...

38 – that boy that didn't

Sebastian Smythe was silent for most of the days, and did some mindless doodling in his room. By 'doodling', he meant drawing random things he didn't really understanding, things that made no sense to him. They had to be drawn regardless. He'd shifted his mind-set from drawing to doing his Physics homework.

"Sebastian, your friend is here!"

Sebastian winced. "I don't have any friends, Andy!" he reminded her promptly, as he stood up. Maybe it was the Blaine and the knowledge that they were 'friends' was killing him. Sebastian opened the doorway to his room and then found Kurt Hummel standing there, looking as pale as a sheet.

"I think I understand." Kurt's voice was low, almost as if he was really trying to understand, rather than understanding.

"What heroin did you inject?" Sebastian snorted as Kurt shut the doorway to the room and then locked it. Sebastian raised an eyebrow, chuckling sadly.

"What are you going to do, Kurt? Come onto me? Have sex with me? What?"

"Say my name again."

"Kurt."

"Again."

"Kurt—" Sebastian missed when it had become a kissing fit between him and Kurt, when Kurt had pressed him up against the wall, his hands onto his shoulder as their lips entwined in some sort of beautiful acquisition. Kurt had a taste to him that was almost natural, that was almost beautiful. Sebastian pulled away. "What the fuck? Hummel?"

Kurt had pressed the band towards Sebastian. "Come with me."

"Why?"

"I can show you what we can't remember." Kurt muttered, as Sebastian raised an eyebrow, before Kurt laughed. The orb on the band would glow to a pastel pink colour. Kurt looked back up at Sebastian as Kurt grabbed onto Sebastian's hand. Last thing Sebastian remembered was cussing Kurt as he found himself back towards Kurt and Sebastian.

"So, you're showing us another world?"

"Sebastian, this isn't another world we're tapping into. These Afesat idiots were making us tap into our memories." Sebastian raised his hand as the little Sebastian and Kurt laughed. Kurt jumped up from his place, running up to Sebastian.

"I told you I loved you. I told you I loveeeeeeed you!"

Sebastian's mouth was open as he looked at Kurt. "What did you see?" Kurt smiled slightly, as he pointed to Sebastian's crotch, making him blush as deep as possible. Kurt hadn't quite ever seen Sebastian truly flush like he had just right then.

"Like it?"

Kurt rolled his eyes, but maintained a proper expression. "I saw you and Blaine. I saw my Mother and your Father. They were in love. In real love, Sebastian, not just like how Blaine loves you…like you love Blaine, that kind of beautiful love."

Sebastian looked back at Kurt, chuckling. "You think my love for Blaine is beautiful?"

"I think you're beautiful." It took a moment to realise that Kurt was referencing Blaine's words to him, as he looked down at his feet. Sebastian was actually smiling right now, not smirking, nothing more than a genuine, very soft and tentative smile. Kurt laid a hand on Sebastian's shoulder.

Sebastian's eyes hardened. "Are you my friend?"

Kurt nodded his head. "Good," Sebastian muttered as he leaned down, capturing Kurt's lips into a kiss. Kurt kissed back. Kurt was moving backwards, as he ended up on top of a swing with Sebastian's mouth still attacking his own. Kurt looked back up at Sebastian.

"It's Fate."

Sebastian must've understood. Kurt finally realised how it was like to block out the world, because Kurt must be babbling. Sebastian was fairly silent, but Kurt can't really hear anyone else. "Fate," Sebastian said in a nearly humorous tone. "What a whore."

"I made a friend today, Mother," Sebastian said in a nearly childish tone. They didn't need to remember a small past.

"I was supposed to meet you on a violin lesson that I cancelled because it'll ruin my nails."

"Really, Hummel?" Maybe Kurt missed what was going on, because they were back in Sebastian's room. It took a moment for Kurt to adjust to the setting around him, as he took another breath. "Sebastian?" he tentatively called out, seeing as the tall brunette was nowhere to be seen. He then heard more rummaging as Sebastian pulled out the instrument.

"Sebastian," Kurt whined. "My nails."

"Shut the frick up and stand up, Hummel. Your ass is widening my chair." Kurt glared at him as Sebastian made Kurt stand, putting the violin in proper position. "Hummel, stop squirming. We aren't fucking yet."

"Oh, so now that you've slept with Blaine when he wasn't drunk, you've claimed yourself over my ass?" it was almost natural, almost like nothing had changed when behind these doors, everything did change. Kurt's eyes were looking around Sebastian's room, noting the large amount of Christian Bale and Jesse Eisenberg posters hung up around the walls, along with Criminal Minds posters adorning just above Sebastian's Dell and a notebook full of drawings.

"Well, Hummel. I want to make sure you're not a prude," Sebastian muttered. "Why did you kiss me?"

Kurt shrugged.

"Hey. My violin. Don't break it or I'll smash your face in," Sebastian instructed. "Why the sudden kissing and complimenting and love? Just because you remembered when we were kids, you used to tell me that when we were older, we'd get married and everything will be alright? When my Dad will bring me over to your house and tell me that he had to discuss things with my Mom and we ate peanut butter out of a jar when we were kids?"

"You hate peanut butter."

Sebastian looked impressed with this. "I still ate myself sick of it, because you did. You liked it." Sebastian pressed his head against Kurt's head.

Kurt looked back up at him. "I don't remember."

Sebastian looked out at the wall. "I don't either. The…eh, hallucination told me." Kurt knew Kurt wasn't a hallucination right now but they still referred to him as such. "Now, Hummel, stand up straight. Fucking Hell. Okay. You're a model. Now have the fucking same posture as one…"

When Kurt's posture was better, Sebastian placed the violin back in standard position, as he brought the fractional violin properly to Kurt's neck. "Okay. Hold it properly. This is my baby."

"What's it called?"

Sebastian smirked. "It's actually called Jaune."

"That's French for yellow." Kurt realised, as Sebastian dragged the bow across the strings, perfecting a G3. Kurt repeated that one, but Sebastian had emphasised on it again, fixing Kurt's posture again and then allowing Kurt to try the same pitch. "Dear Chanel, why is the bow so long? It has to be at least 20 inches."

"Twenty-nine inches," Sebastian said, as he rolled his eyes. "Yes, I'm quite aware Jaune is French for yellow."

"Why yellow?"

Sebastian stopped helping Kurt play for a bit. Kurt brought the violin to his side, and looked back at Sebastian, whom was looking down at the floor. "In Gaelic, Blaine means yellow."

Kurt looked back at Sebastian whom was looking down at his feet. Kurt embraced him tightly. "I kissed you because…my intuition told me it was the right thing to do."

Sebastian smiled weakly now. "Not because you find me sexy?" he smirked now, full-on smirking.

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Your arrogance is killing your so called 'sexiness'."

"Oh yeah?" this was more of Sebastian than Kurt had seen in a long time, as Sebastian slapped Kurt's ass. "You're acting like a child."

"Pardon?" Kurt's eyes widened in slight exaggeration. "Am I the one that have just slapped your rear in hopes that I may get laid?"

Sebastian shrugged as he took Kurt to the kitchen. Andrea raised an eyebrow. "Sebastian, what stupid thing are you doing this time?" Sebastian simply took a silvery spoon from the holder, and then picked up the object he wanted. Kurt suddenly felt giddy and excited, as he watched Sebastian unscrew the lid of Jif and then take a large tablespoon of the chunky peanut butter.

"You're peripherally insane."

Sebastian pointed the peanut butter coated tablespoon to him and then pointed to the fridge. Suddenly, Kurt remembered that the one thing about Sebastian was that he didn't talk when food was in his mouth, so Kurt opened the fridge and realised that Sebastian wanted to join him into this insanity. "With nearly two hundred calories per two tablespoons—?" Sebastian shoved a tablespoon in Kurt's mouth.

Kurt rolled his eyes. "If I gain two pounds tonight…" he said in a sing-song voice as he pulled out a jar of his own and then picked off a tablespoon, starting to spoon from it. Andrea just shook her head and then left the two. Kurt was practically sick by the sixth tablespoon but still kept on going, with the ambition of finishing a whole jar.

"You are such a child," Kurt rolled his eyes, noting that Sebastian's lips were full of peanut butter.

"That's creepy. I grope people in their sleep." Sebastian raised an eyebrow. This came almost naturally, the response, the calmness, maybe. It was confusing to say the last. Kurt wasn't used to Sebastian being his friend and Sebastian definitely wasn't. "Are you going to kiss me because of intuition right now?"

Kurt shook his head. "I think I'm done kissing you because it'll just make us really confused."

"It was fun."

Kurt shrugged, and then took another tablespoon. This time, the stickiness was really getting to him and the thought of all those calories in his body weighed him down slightly. Kurt looked at Sebastian. "You lost a lot of weight."

Sebastian stared down at his feet and then the truth came out. "Blaine is really, really sick."

Kurt looked back up at Sebastian, almost as if that mere statement reminded him of Blaine. "I don't think he's going to live for more than a few months," Sebastian shrugged as if it was the most alright thing in the world, but his eyes said a different story, and he looked nearly nauseous. Sebastian looked down at Kurt. "Kurt…"

Sebastian's hands suddenly found Kurt's. Peanut butter jars left forgotten as Kurt put his own. Sebastian's eyes stared straight into Kurt's eyes.

"Blaine's HIV is full-blown AIDS right now."

Kurt stared back at Sebastian and then dissolved into tears, as Sebastian held Kurt as tightly as he could. They were shaking, bodies collapsing under the weight of the world. For the first time ever, Sebastian Smythe was holding Kurt Hummel as he cried. Sebastian Smythe did not cry. He was dried of tears for Blaine. Blaine wouldn't want him to cry for him right now. Kurt clung on just a bit tighter. Sebastian can spit out 'but his CD4 count is getting better' and 'but Blaine's not sick now' but that was false faith, false hope and right now, Sebastian didn't feel like feeding empty promise to a boy who had his promises broken one too many times.

Kurt Hummel would always remember the boy that didn't try to fill him full of emptiness and let him cry until the emptiness would disappear and there would be nothing else to say.

note note note: WHY DOES SEBASTIAN HATE PEANUT BUTTER WHY also. i tried not to consume the entire peanut butter jar in one day. i really tried.

xo Peanut Butter/Sam