Unto the Breach. Maybe, a Little…

Lorelai walked through town pulling her sweater tight around her to ward off the chill in the spring air. She looked up and saw Kirk in the Lucite box and was about to call something to him when Luke came out of the diner with a bag of trash.

"How's it going?" he asked with a nod.

"Hey," she said, trying to sound casual.

Luke glanced around and asked, "What are you doing out here so late?"

Lorelai shrugged and said, "I needed to take a walk to clear my head. And I wanted to see if Kirk was still in the box," she added as she gazed up at Kirk again.

Luke smirked and said, "Yeah apparently he is you know, I wouldn't know. I've decided to ignore him. Gawking only encourages his asinine behavior," he grumbled.

Lorelai looked back at Luke and asked, "What about you? You're usually long gone by now."

Luke shrugged and said, "The softball team's celebrating their first win. I couldn't get them out the door. Clearing your head about what?" he asked.

Lorelai sighed and said, "Logan proposed to Rory."

Luke blinked in astonishment and said, "No way. Wow." He shook his head and said, "Wow. I guess you would need a walk for that. What did she say?" he asked cautiously.

Lorelai just shook her head and said, "Well, she said she needed time to mull it over."

"Good answer," Luke said with an approving nod.

"I thought so," Lorelai agreed.

"Yeah. So, did she ask for your advice?" he asked.

Lorelai pursed her lips for a moment and then said, "She did. Yeah."

"And?" he prompted.

Lorelai gave him a half smile and said, "I told her it was her decision. My mother's picking out china patterns," she added dryly.

Luke chuckled and said, "Oh, I bet she's all over that. So, you're leaning toward 'no'?" he asked her.

Lorelai shook her head quickly and said, "Oh, uh, no. I'm not really leaning. I'm kind of upright," she babbled, trying to sort it out in her head.

Luke nodded and said uncomfortably, "Oh well I just, I could understand if you were leaning away from 'yes.'"

"Why?" she asked, a little more defensively than she meant to.

Luke just held out his hands and said, "Well I mean she's really young and it's the most important decision of your life. You know, her life," he corrected.

Lorelai bristled slightly and said, "Well, they love each other. He's been great. Maybe they got it together young. Some people do," she said with a shrug.

Luke nodded sagely and said, "Right, and others need time," he voice dripping with hidden meaning.

Lorelai looked at him archly and said, "Sure. Or they're never ready."

Luke shrugged and tried to sound casual as he said, "I wouldn't say 'never.' Just they want to be a little more careful. They're a little slower, you know, just to make sure it's right," he explained.

Lorelai jumped on it. "Well you can't always be a hundred percent sure it's right. Sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith," she said firmly.

"You got to know what you're leaping into," he insisted.

Lorelai lost the last shred of her patience and asked, "After all this time, how could you not know?"

Luke blinked in shock and asked pointedly, "How could who not know?"

"Rory" Lorelai covered quickly.

Luke nodded slowly and said, "Right."

"Right," Lorelai confirmed, knowing he had caught her slip up.

"Rory," Luke confirmed.

At this point flight overtook fight in Lorelai's mind, so she said, "Well, that was my walk, and, uh, I'm gonna head home."

Still watching her carefully, Luke said, "Good enough." He shook his head slightly and said, "Oh, I almost forgot something. Hang on," he told her as he dashed back into the diner.

Lorelai took a deep breath as she looked around the square and then back up at Kirk. "Are you allowed to talk in there?" she called up to him.

Kirk shook his head inside the Lucite box and called back, "Rules are a little gray on that!"

Luke reappeared with a small jewelry box wrapped in pink paper. "I got this for Rory," he said as he held it out to her.

Lorelai softened as she looked at the box in surprise. "Oh," she said, touched by the gesture.

Luke shrugged and shifted uncomfortably as he said, "Yeah. I just thought it would be better if she got it on the day of her actual graduation."

"Oh, that's, that's, that's nice," Lorelai stammered.

"Yeah, so..." Luke said, trailing off awkwardly.

"Thoughtful," Lorelai murmured as she looked at the small box. She took a deep breath and said, "So, goodnight."

"Goodnight," Luke answered softly.

Lorelai turned to step off of the curb and looked up as she called, "Goodnight, Kirk."

"Goodnight," Kirk answered as he curled up in the box suspended above the square.

Luke turned and walked back into the diner, locking the door behind him. He moved around the dining room, replaying their conversation in his head as he started to put the last of the chairs up on the tables. He jumped when his cell phone began to vibrate and ring in his pocket. He fumbled for it, worried that something could be wrong with April, and flipped it open without looking at the display. "Hello?" he asked anxiously.

"Were you really that unsure of me?" she asked, her voice sounding small and very far away.

"Lorelai?" he asked blankly.

Lorelai laughed shortly and said, "I guess you're unsure if this is even me."

"No, uh, it's just, um, no one calls me on this phone anymore except April. I thought something was wrong with her," he tried to explain as he sank down into the last remaining chair.

"So were you?" she persisted as she turned onto her street.

"Of you?" he asked, stalling for time, trying to get his head in the game.

"Yeah, that was the question," she said quickly.

Luke sighed heavily as he looked down at the tabletop. "No," he answered gruffly. He drummed his fingers against the table. When she didn't say anything, he tipped his head back and stared up at the ceiling as he confessed, "I was that unsure of me."

"You?" she asked, confused. She turned up her driveway, kicking a rock along as she walked.

"Yeah, I had to be sure that it was going to be right for you. And for April," he said in a raspy voice. He took a deep breath and said, "And, apparently, from what I've been learning, it wasn't. Or, I wasn't," he finished lamely.

"You weren't what?" she asked.

He continued to stare up at the ceiling as he searched for the words. "I failed you," he said in a hoarse voice.

Lorelai stopped and was quiet for a moment as she let his words sink in. She crossed her yard and then lowered herself onto the steps, looking up at the moths that danced around the porch light. She turned and looked over at the chuppah that still stood in the corner of the yard and said softly, "Actually, Luke, I think we failed each other."

"Maybe so," he said gruffly.

"The song," she started and then stopped. Luke waited, holding his breath for her to finish. Finally, she chickened out by saying, "I picked that song for Rory, you know, as a joke. Something to goof on."

"I figured," he said and then pressed his lips together, trying to force his heart down out of his throat.

Lorelai leaned over, pressing her chest to her knees as she stared at the toes of her shoes. "The words were true though. I do want you to have a really good life. Joy, happiness, you know," she said softly.

"I want you to have that too," he answered.

"It's late," Lorelai said as she slowly sat up. "I should let you get to bed."

"Yeah, you have a big day tomorrow," he reminded her.

"Thank you," she said quickly. "For always thinking about Rory. For always caring about her," she added sincerely.

Luke shook his head and said, "That's one thing you never have to thank me for. It's my pleasure," he assured her, his voice warm and deep. "Goodnight, Lorelai," he said in a whisper.

"Goodnight, Luke," she said quietly. "Sweet dreams," she wished him, the familiar words slipping past her lips before she could stop them. Quickly, she closed the phone, her cheeks flaming as she held it shut in her hand, praying it wouldn't ring.

Luke pressed the end button and murmured, "You too," as he pushed himself out of the chair, turned out the lights, paused to look at the drawer under the cash register, and then shuffled tiredly to the stairs.

Lorelai got up and walked into the house. She pulled the small pink box from the pocket of her sweater and turned it gingerly in her fingers. She sank down on the couch and stared at it as if trying to get her faulty x-ray vision to work again. They wanted each other to have good lives, but did that mean a life together or apart? she wondered. He cares about me. He cares about Rory. I know that, she told herself. She tossed the little box onto the table and sat back, letting her head loll to the side as she stared up at the pictures on her mantelpiece. But, did the hat mean the same thing as the song? If it did, why couldn't he just say something? I opened my mouth and the words came out, she justified to herself. Why can't he just say something, do something, anything, to let me know which way we're going to go? she wondered as she sat up and stared at the little box again.

Because he's Luke, and you're you, she chastised herself as she got up off of the couch and headed for the stairs. Rory was right, friend Luke is better than no Luke at all. He may never be able to give you more than that, she told herself. Just friends is fine. It's better this way. It's better than nothing, she reminded herself as she pulled the single toothbrush from the holder.