Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. Stephanie Meyer does. *Sad face.*

A/N: I know, I know... I'm sorry. It's been forever since I last updated. I have no excuse other than that I suck on an epic scale. Forgive me? :S

Thank you to Kimmydonn, my fabulous beta, for her help with this chapter. She's super fast, otherwise you'd have been waiting even longer!

Snuggles and thank yous to my girls, Weezy and Stan, for their constant support, encouragement and friendship and awesome pre-reading help. I couldn't have got this chapter out without them. Stan even bribed me so thank her!

Chapter 39

Empty

Bella POV

The moment the door opened, a million different colors, smells and sounds assaulted my senses, leaving me reeling for a moment before my brain adapted to the change. Everything was so much more now - louder, stronger, bigger and brighter.

Even with all of this going on in my head, I was aware of the chuckles behind me and the feel of fresh air dancing across the surface of my skin. The air even smelled differently, the pine scent of the trees mixing with the rich odor of the earth as it invited me out to play.

I was flanked on all sides by Edward, Jasper and Emmett, who were apparently there to keep me "under control". I had to admit, I didn't understand what all the fuss was about; I didn't feel especially out of control. In fact, aside from everything being so much sharper than before and the slight burn in my throat, I didn't feel all that different. I don't know what I had been expecting, but this wasn't it.

It occurred to me that even the burn hadn't really bothered me while my eyes lavished the new intricacies of the landscape sprawled out in front of me. I'd expected my attentions to be divided, I'd even been warned about it, but I had expected the thirst to be more commanding, to be always dancing in the shadows waiting to assault me.

Edward was standing behind me, his hands on my shoulders massaging lightly, and Emmett and Jasper stood to either side of me, almost like sentries guarding a dangerous prisoner. We walked down towards the forest, a slightly uncomfortable silence shrouding us as we went. Even Emmett, usually so jovial and light-hearted, was quiet, his eyes flickering back and forth between me and the forest.

I walked on a few more paces before stopping dead in my tracks and crossing my arms petulantly across my chest. The boys all stiffened around me and I felt both Emmett and Jasper's hands close around my arms as they appeared to be sniffing the air around them.

"What the hell, guys?" I almost growled, beyond frustrated at their odd behaviour. "Why so serious? Are you always this much fun when you're hunting?"

They all looked at me incredulously, not releasing their grip on my arms. Edward walked around so that he was facing me and shot both Emmett and Jasper a look, which had them instantly dropping their hands.

"We're just being cautious, Bella," he started, his hand reaching out and caressing my cheek gently. His fingertips were like satin against my skin. "You're kind of... not typical, for a new-born. Most would be rampaging through the forest by now, desperately trying to find the nearest source of blood, preferably human, and yet you don't seem to be all that bothered. I mean, you said you were thirsty, but it's been hours now since you woke up and you're still so... placid. We kind of expected to be holding you back from drinking your way through the population of Forks, and yet here you are, just... Bella. It takes most new vampires at least a year to be able to just walk around like this without feeling the need to seek out blood. It's remarkable really."

I stared at him in confusion for a moment, letting his words sink in. My mind ran through all of the stories and warnings I'd been given by my new family members. The memories were slightly dulled being human, but the message was the same. They thought I was going to attack.

Suddenly the guard of honor made sense.

"So, I'm... different? Odd? A freak?" I questioned, chewing on my lip in an old familiar habit. Pools of emotions gathered in my mind. I was unsure of what to feel at this new revelation. Embarrassed? Proud? Guilty? All of these new thoughts and emotions were swirling up what I should be feeling. "I can't even do vampire right?"

"You're perfect. You just seem to have more control than we expected. That's not bad, Bella." His hands cupped my face delicately as he spoke, his thumb tracing the apple of my cheek lightly in reassurance. He pressed his lips against mine briefly, almost making me weak at the knees, before he pulled away smirking and offered me his hand. "Shall we?"

I nodded and allowed him to tow me along, speeding up until eventually we all broke into a run. Initially I was concerned; running at vampire speeds with my history of clumsiness was a recipe for disaster in my mind. However, as we got faster and faster and I felt my feet falling sure and true each time, I stopped worrying about it and allowed myself to enjoy the sensation of running like the wind through the forest. My feet seemed eager to cooperate with me as we dodged through the trees. Without much thought I found my body ducking and weaving without command. It seemed to know what was required of it before the conscious thought entered my mind.

I had spent so many years wondering what this was like through Edward's eyes, and now I knew. I always wondered how he managed to avoid the low branches as he ran, how he never lost his footing moving so fast, but now it was clear to me. Although I knew that we were moving faster than human eyes could truly follow, to my new eyes it seemed almost as though we were merely jogging. I could see everything that came towards me and dodge it easily. It was almost like, although I was moving faster than I had ever propelled myself before, I was watching it in slow motion. I could see and feel everything around me so clearly, the sights, the sounds and the smells were vivid and fresh. I could hear the sounds of each small animal in the undergrowth; I could smell every tree. Each had it's own unfamiliar scent and my senses revelled in the newness of everything I was experiencing around me.

Edward, Emmett and Jasper kept pace with me and I basked in the freedom of being able to keep up with them without being carried. I could feel the power in my legs to go faster and wanted to test them out, but I didn't want to push forward and have them worry that I was about to ravage the town, chewing my way through it's inhabitants the way that they seemed to think I ought to want to.

Finally, we reached a wide clearing at the edge of the forest. A small stream had broken away from the river and woven its way along the tree-line and through to a small mountain lake, which basked at the opposite end of the large field we stood in. Tiny prisms of light fluttered from the surface of the water and danced around the trees and my escorts, only enhancing their beauty. Colors, so many colors seemed to bask in the light, some suspended in mid-air waiting for discovery.

I grinned a little at the knowledge that I ran all that way and wasn't even out of breath, then turned to the boys waiting for some hint of why we stopped. And then I caught it. Just as I felt three sets of hands close around my arms, holding me securely, the unmistakable scent of blood assaulted my senses, only it wasn't repulsive to me any more - I wanted it. Venom pooled in my mouth, but it wasn't unbearable. In fact, I would compare it to salivating when you looked at something rich in taste and waited for it to explode on your taste buds. It was inviting, and invigorating, but it wasn't the slap in the face I'd been expecting.

Something about the defensive stances of Edward and the boys told me that this wasn't animal blood I was sensing. So I froze, knowing it could all crash down around me at any second.

"Human?" I asked, holding my breath and turning to Edward for confirmation. He nodded shortly and turned to me, pulling me into his arms tightly and holding me there, the embrace more restraining than affectionate. Emmett and Jasper's hands were still tightly around my arms as I looked up into Edward's concerned face.

"It's ok, Bella. We won't let you hurt them."

In the cage of Edward's arms and makeshift manacles from the hands of the others, I took my chances and inhaled deeply. I could feel all three of them tense around me, waiting for me to react, but it was the same reaction I'd had when I'd caught the scent. Tantalizing and delicious, but no desperate need. No desire to fight the cage around me to get to it.

"Umm... Edward, I think I'm fine." Edward looked down at me with scepticism and confusion on his face. "I mean, it smells good and all, but I can handle it. It's not so bad that I want to break away from you and devour it. I'm quite comfortable here," I finished, snuggling deeper into his arms and feeling Emmett and Jasper's eyes boring into me as I did.

He loosened his grip on me ever so slightly, pulling back and lifting my face to meet his. Jasper and Emmett poised themselves as though I was deceiving them and would take off now that Edward was barely restraining me.

"Are you sure, Bella? That's an incredible amount of control for a two hour old new- born."

"I'm positive. Like I said, it smells good, but it's human blood right? I don't want to be a killer, I want to be a vegetarian, like you." His eyes were wide as he stared at me. A look of pride mingled with disbelief covered his face as he cautiously loosened his grip on me, until just his hands rested lightly on my hips.

His eyes were focused intently on mine, searching them for some sign of blood-lust, but apparently he found none as he nodded to Emmett and Jasper, still keeping his eyes trained on mine. Their hands released my arms and I stood, restrained only by Edward's light touch on my hips.

"Jasper?" Edward asked, looking for confirmation.

All eyes in the group moved to Jasper as he concentrated solely on me. His head tipped to the side as though he didn't quite believe what he was seeing.

"She's completely in control. I can feel her thirst, but it's reminiscent of Carlisle's."

"Wow, Bella, that's pretty impressive," Emmett boomed, his face lit up in a goofy grin. I half smiled back at him, while wondering if there was something wrong with me. Maybe I woke up too soon and I wasn't done yet.

"I don't get it," Jasper murmured, his eyes scanning up and down my body intensely as though he expected to find the answer there. I could almost feel the confusion rolling off him, and I couldn't help but note the silence Emmett's voice had created around us. Not even a bird was singing, just the thunder of footsteps in the distance; it wasn't distant at all.

I had to shake my head to bring me back to the task at hand. All of this extra space in my head was making it too easy for my thoughts to sway.

"We'll talk to Carlisle when we get back to the house," Edward said decisively, after a moment's thought. "He'll probably understand."

"Is there something wrong with me?" I questioned softly, chewing on my bottom lip.

"Hell yes!" Emmett exclaimed, catching me off guard as he playfully pulled me up into his arms and spun me around. "Welcome to the freak show. You're going to fit right in!"

"Yeah, thanks, Emmett," I mumbled sullenly, after he placed me back on the ground.

I was annoyed that even in my new life I couldn't be normal. There was a part of me buried deep somewhere that registered that I ought to be happy about this. In theory, this was a good thing. This would mean no crazy first year, no insatiable thirst, which no amount of animal blood could soothe, no irrational temper tantrums where I would risk harm to my family and to my home. And yet, I felt annoyed somehow, different again.

Even the Cullens with "talents" had all been through that first period as newborns, so why did I have to be different?

Oh, stop being such a brat, I thought to myself, shaking my head to snap myself out of it. Who was I kidding? I was more different now than I ever had been in my life, what was one more thing to add to the list? At least this would work in my favor; I hadn't been looking forward to the all encompassing blood-lust if I was being honest. I needed to embrace this.

"So what now?" I asked, fighting hard to keep the sullen edge out of my voice.

"Now, baby sister, we go find you a herd of something to ease that burn that you don't seem to actually have." I smacked Emmett in the shoulder and delighted when he actually felt it for a change. I was thankful that in that way I was normal. I wouldn't be breaking my hand whenever Emmett teased me or played a trick on me any more.

"We should move on," Jasper said warily. "Those humans are still around. I don't want to over-test Bella's control just yet."

Jasper gave me another look as though waiting for the ball to drop, but sighed almost inaudibly when nothing came back. Edward turned to me, his face brightened with a winning smile, and took my hand in his.

"You fancy stretching your legs?"

My eyes lit up at the thought of being able to really test my new found agility and speed, without the worry that I would suddenly catch a scent that I would be unable to resist. In that way my new-found weirdness was a blessing of sorts.

Edward took my hand in his, his smile filled with love and pride. And then we ran. Clutching tightly to him, I followed his lead, allowing my legs to push as hard and as fast as they desired. I propelled forwards, enjoying the wind on my face as I cut through the air. The tensing and release of my muscles felt amazing as my strength pushed through my body. Scents and sounds surrounded me as we ran, invading my senses and filling me with a never-ending stream of new and different experiences, making this one of the single most enjoyable moments of my life.

On and on we ran, eventually leaving the forest completely and finding ourselves in the mountains. We ran up steep inclines which would once have inevitably caused me serious if not life-threatening injury, but now I barely even noticed the change in gradient. The only reason I had noticed at all was the different movements my muscles made. It was liberating.

I could sense the change in temperature as the light began to fade slightly as we moved up steadily, higher and higher, but the cold no longer made me uncomfortable, it merely was. I could sense it and that was all.

Eventually we stopped, standing on a small area of flat rock, high in the mountains where humans rarely came as the area was notorious for sightings of bears and mountain lions. I quickly quashed the voice inside of me that told me to be afraid of those things. They would be afraid of me now.

Edward stood before me, my hand still in his, and smiled as I looked to him for some sort of guidance. The fingers of his free hand dusted down my jaw as he whispered, "Close your eyes, Bella."

In the absence of light, my other senses became suddenly even sharper, with sounds and scents I had not previously registered hitting me in turn. I could feel the wind on my skin - it was like silk sheets, slipping and sliding over the exposed skin as it made it's way around me. Water bubbled gently from somewhere far away, rolling over rocks as the current pulled it further down the river. I was even sure I could hear the clouds dancing above me, but that was impossible.

"What do you hear, love?" Edward asked quietly, his fingers disappearing from my face and his hand breaking contact with mine.

"Everything," I replied with a small smile. I listened to the shift of fabric as his arms fell to his sides.

"And what do you smell?" I took a moment to sniff the air, trying to determine where each individual scent was coming from. There were so many that they almost overpowered my mind, but I forced myself to break them down, knowing that my brain could manage that now, if I just trained it to.

"All sorts," I began. "The trees, the plants, the animals... You," I added at the end with a slight smirk. I heard him chuckle beside me, the sound carrying on the breeze along with all the others.

"Do you hear heartbeats?" Yes, faintly on the breeze there were the sounds of multiple heartbeats, heavy and wet as they mingled with the scents of the animals. I nodded, keeping my mind focused on the sounds and scents around me and waiting for him to speak again. He didn't for a long while. I could hear him breathing beside me and I could hear Jasper and Emmett several feet away, though their movements could only have been tiny.

In the absence of any instruction from Edward I began to try separating the things I could sense, picking out each individual scent and trying to put a name to it, and doing the same with the sounds. After a moment, I caught what I guessed he was waiting for. The faint scent of blood on the air. It wasn't as potent as the humans had been in the clearing, but it was definitely blood nonetheless. Pushing my senses out, I tried to match the scent with a heartbeat and found myself bombarded with a multitude of both.

My instincts told me to run, to hunt down the source of blood and devour it, but something held me back and I wasn't quite sure what it was. A force stronger than gravity kept me rooted to the spot as the delicious smelling beasts moved around in the distance.

I sensed him before I heard him as his cool breath fanned across the skin of my neck and his velvet voice whispered in my ear.

"It's okay, Bella. Follow your instincts." At his words the force that had held me in place so strongly suddenly released, like a catch. I started forwards, lithe and strong, with the wind in my hair, in the direction of the animals I could smell. My footfalls were almost silent on the rocky terrain as I got closer, locating a heartbeat and zeroing in on it until I was close enough to attack. I smiled at the thought of the pride I would see in Emmett's face as I brought down a large grizzly bear, sinking my teeth instantly into it's neck and enjoying the cooling nectar as it ran down my throat.

The bear's blood was like honey against the harsh burn and I drank thirstily until I felt the soothing stream dry up, then lay the huge beast down beside me. Looking up, I could see the boys all watching me, identical grins covering their faces. After a moment, Emmett lunged at me, lifting me into his arms and swinging me around while laughing raucously.

"A grizzly on your first hunt, not bad, Bella-Boo," he bellowed as he deposited me back on my feet, where, for a first, I didn't feel unsteady after one of his hugs.

After repeating this process several times, and disappointing Edward when I decided that I preferred the bear to mountain lion, we started to make our way back to the house. I was eager to see Carlisle and see if he could shed any light on the subject of my apparent weirdness. The journey back to the house was a decidedly less tense affair than the journey out. Edward, Jasper and Emmett were a lot more relaxed, joking and teasing all the way. I was in the middle of challenging Emmett to an arm wrestling contest when we found our way back onto the Cullens' land. I grinned childishly, tapping Emmett on the arm and calling out, "Tag, you're it," before hurling myself towards the house and hearing him chasing behind me.

As my hand connected with the door handle, I felt his giant arms encase me and fling me over his shoulder, running back towards the forest we had just run from. I squealed and kicked, giggling as he spun around a few times, trying to disorientate me.

"Put. Me. Down. Emmett McCarty. Right now!" I yelled out between my giggles, banging my fist against his back and hearing him wince at my new stength.

"Sorry, baby sister. No can do," he said, laughing heartily. "You cheated. I demand a re-match."

"Ugh, always so competitive," I teased, slapping him playfully on the arm.

"Ready... GO!" he shouted and began to run.

After a moment, I ran too, amazed that I managed to stay on his heels. We both crashed into the front door at the same time; Edward and Jasper watched on in amusement. Jasper was shaking his head and rolling his eyes at Emmett, and Edward was just smirking.

I knew it was childish, but I was enjoying the freedom to just be, to enjoy spending time with my family and allow myself to be light and carefree. What was coming was coming, but I wouldn't allow it to spoil my first few days as a real member of the Cullen family. Jack and Victoria did not deserve that.

Edward's arms helped to steady my resolve as they snaked around my waist, and he rested his chin on top of my head before speaking.

"Shall we go in and see if Carlisle has any theories?" I nodded enthusiastically in response, and we went inside.

I jumped in surprise when we entered the living room. Sitting on the couch beside Carlisle and Esme was Benoit. He had been out of town at Carlisle's request, in order to hunt. I knew that the Cullens held hopes that he could be convinced to give their way of life a try. After all, he had said that he fed from humans in order to survive, not because he truly wanted to.

They all stood as we entered and Esme stepped forward, wrapping me in a loving hug.

"How did you do, Bella dear?" she asked. Her face held a smile with an edge of concern. The concern soon faded though, when I explained to her what had happened. She looked disbelieving at first and then eventually pride took over and she beamed at me happily.

"That's wonderful," she exclaimed as she pulled me once more into her arms and squeezed tightly. I clung onto her for longer than was strictly necessary, my hands clutching tightly to the back of her soft sweater. Her maternal embrace was just what I needed, and I felt the tension slowly fading from my mind.

"Is there something wrong with me?" I asked cautiously, directing my question at both she and Carlisle. He chuckled and stepped forward.

"No, Bella. I very much doubt that. I imagine that it's simply your special gift. You know that we all bring something of ourselves into this life. It strikes me that self control, when it comes to feeding, could well be something that you brought along with you. Wouldn't you agree?" He winked at me, probably unaware of how much relief his words had brought to me. I could feel the tension leaving my shoulders at the thought that I wasn't broken or incomplete and returned Carlisle and Esme's smiles genuinely.

"So, I'm not... a freak?" I asked, shooting a pointed look at Emmett who just shrugged and tried to look innocent. I managed to suppress the giggle that threatened to bubble in my throat when I saw the strict look that Esme directed at Emmett.

"Emmett McCarty, what have you been saying to the poor girl?" Her tone was almost angry as she stared him down, with the look I knew she reserved for when she wanted to make one of her 'children' squirm. It worked like a charm; Emmett shuffled his feet and wrung his fingers together under her stern gaze. I watched on, amused for a moment, waiting to see what he would say, but in the end, I couldn't suppress the laughter any longer and I let him off the hook, explaining to Esme that he was only teasing. She shot him another look that told him, in no uncertain terms, to knock it off and then turned back to me.

"No, Bella. You're not a freak. You're perfect and we're so proud of you." I smiled shyly at her praise, scuffing my feet on the floor in embarrassment and whispering my thanks.

"Bella," Carlisle said, breaking the slightly awkward silence that had descended. "Benoit has been telling me a little about himself, and he has expressed a desire to be involved when Victoria and... the others come." He hesitated slightly, clearly not wanting to use Jack's name, unsure how I would react. "We want to be sure that you're alright with that. I don't want to push you too hard and neither does he. We know that his presence could upset you, force you to remember painful memories. Nobody wants to force that on you."

I smiled lightly at both Carlisle and Benoit, slightly overwhelmed by their thoughtfulness and wanting to put their minds at ease. I stepped forward with a little trepidation, nervous about what I was about to do. I couldn't express how I felt in words - my French was virtually non-existent. So I did what I hoped was the next best thing, what I hoped would set his mind at ease and show him that his presence did not scare me. I looked up into his kind eyes briefly, before wrapping my arms around him in a reassuring hug. He stiffened slightly in surprise for a moment - long enough for me to wonder if I had done the wrong thing - but then his arms closed around me and he rubbed my back gently. It was a brief embrace, but it said all I needed to say without the difficulties of the language barrier.

"Well, I think that's answered that question," Carlisle said, with a laugh in his voice, before he turned and spoke to Benoit in his native language.

Turning to Edward with a smile, I said, "You have to teach me French. I can't always communicate in hugs." He laughed loudly and agreed with a wink. Yeah, French lessons could be fun.

As Edward's arms wrapped around me, and I rested my forehead against his chiseled chest, I began to think about what was coming. Everybody seemed to be confident that with the wolves on our side and Alice able to see when they were coming, that we would win easily. I wanted to believe that was true. I wanted to believe it more than anything because the thought of anybody being lost was too painful to bear.

Thinking of the fight to come reminded me sharply of how useless I would be in a fight against other vampires - vampires who were being trained in combat. Vampires whose sole purpose in this life was to destroy me and my new family. As the images of my family's faces flashed through my mind like a montage, I suppressed a sob at the thought of any one of them being hurt or killed in order to protect me and resolved that I would not be useless on the field of battle. When they came, I would be ready for them, even if I had to spend all my time between now and then learning.

I twisted in Edward's arms to where Jasper was standing, talking quietly to Emmett with a serious expression on his face.

"Jasper?" I said softly, drawing his eyes to me. He smiled and quirked an eyebrow at me, maybe picking up on my emotions.

"Yes, Bella?"

"Will you teach me to fight?"

Recommendation: I've been reading a fic called As Children After Play, by Cris, just recently. If you can cope with bad Charlie and you like angst I cannot recommend this story highly enough. It's excellently written and completely heartbreaking in parts. Give it a try, I think you'll like it. :)