"So here's the run down: everyone is fighting off deatheaters," I said.

"Correct," Harry replied.

"And we are going to be looking for the Lost Diadem of Ravenclaw which has been lost for centuries because it may or may not be a Horcrux," I said.

"Also correct," Harry said.

"Have you any idea how ridiculous this sounds? I wish Hermione were here to tell you to listen to yourself and to marvel at your own stupidity," I said.

"Whoa, harsh," he said. "But listen—I've got a plan."

"Tell, me oh brilliant one," I said.

"The Grey Lady—she's the ghost of Ravenclaw's daughter. Remember? We'll just ask her what happened to it. At least that'll give us a vague idea of where to look," Harry said.

". . . I take back my previous sarcastic comment," I said.

"I knew you would," Harry said.

"But just so you know, Helena Ravenclaw has been known to be dreadfully hard to talk to. She's kind of mopey. Like Myrtle should be in a few hundred years," I said. "Also, she's kind of a bitch."

"Let's hope she'll talk," Harry said.

We ran through Hogwarts trying to get to Ravenclaw Tower, avoiding the fighting as much as possible. War was all around us. It wasn't long before we found her.

"Excuse me! Miss Grey Lady!" Harry called after her. She turned around to him, a bit offended.

"He's sorry, Helena, he's a bit ignorant of the fact that you have name," I said.

"As are most people," she said. "What do you want?"

"We need a bit of help," Harry said. "We're looking for your mother's diadem."

"Gryffindors looking for my mother's lost diadem? Honestly. I don't know what it is about you students from other houses searching for my mother's possessions," she said.

"Other houses? So we're not the first to ask you about it?" I asked.

"Course not. There was one other boy, about 50 years ago came asking round about it," she said.

Harry and I exchanged glances. "From Slytherin?" I asked.

"Yes," she said.

So Voldemort had been looking for it and knowing that guy, he definitely found it.

"Helena, I've always admired how beautiful you are," I said.

She smiled. "I am quite beautiful aren't I?"

"Yes, yes you are," Harry said. "Prettier than any girl I've ever laid eyes on."

"Do you think it's possible that you could tell us what happened to your mother's diadem, if you know of course," I said.

She eyed us suspiciously for a moment. "I'd always been a bit jealous of my mother, so one day I took her diadem and ran away. I'd hoped to use it to gain more knowledge and become more beautiful."

*Of course, because the diadem makes the wearer more intelligent. *

-Bingo. -

"I ran off to Albania, and was hiding in the forest when, you'll know him, the Bloody Baron came to call. He was infatuated with me. I didn't want him to find the diadem so I hid it in a hollow tree," she said.

-A hollow tree... In the middle of the forest... In Albania. -

*Fuck my life. *

"When the Baron came I refused his advances and he killed me," Helena said.

"Oh, yes, and then he was so grief stricken that he killed himself. That's why he wears all those shackles and chains," I said. "And so, to your knowledge the diadem is still in a nook of a tree somewhere in Albania."

"Correct," she said.

"Well thank you for that," Harry said. "We'll be going now."

We walked off. "So, clearly our buddy Tom Riddle went to Albania and found this diadem."

"Yeah. Remember after we knocked him out of his body he was hiding there for a while? He must've found it," Harry said.

"So . . . Where is it?" I asked.

"Hmm . . . Well, assuming he was rushing to get back here because he hid the diadem at Hogwarts . . . Then it's here . . . At Hogwarts," Harry said.

I looked around. "Where the fuck do you expect us to start looking? Do you know how big this school is? I've lived here my whole life and I still haven't been in every part of it."

"Well let's just think. Where are places in the school that no one knows about? Places where you could hide things?" Harry asked.

"Well, there is the room of hidden things, but that's . . . just . . . a . . . legend," I said.

"Yeah, that room doesn't really exist," Harry said still thinking deeply, though the answer was obvious. I hit him upside the head. "Ow! Woman! What was that about?"

"The room of requirement! It can be anything you want it to be, even a room that disappears that you can hide things in," I said. "That's where you put Snape's potions book remember?"

"Oh . . . Yeah!" Harry said.

"Idiot. Let's go," I said.

We dashed back to the room of requirement, but before we even got inside we saw a peculiar sight. Ginny was standing outside of the room with Kassia, Pansy, Draco and Tonks.

"What are you two doing here?" I asked. "Are the kids okay?"

"They're fine. Teddy and Mira are with my mother," Tonks said. "It's Kaitlin."

"What about her?" I asked.

"They've taken her," Draco said.

"What do you mean they've taken her?" Harry asked.

"We were ambushed at the Cottage. He came specifically to find her," Draco said.

"You mean Fitzpatrick?" I asked. Draco nodded.

"But then he managed to get Tonks unconscious and threatened to go after the babies and I gave my wand to you so there was nothing I could do. So, Kaitlin turned herself over," he said.

"But what would Voldemort want with Kaitlin?" I asked. "It not as if she poses much of a threat does she?"

"Probably just for leverage. If he's here looking for the two of you and his 'thing' he's probably planning to give you an ultimatum—turn yourselves over of she dies," Kassia said.

"He could've used anyone of you for that though. He may as well have taken the kids if that was the only point he was trying to make. He's up to something else," I said

"You're right this doesn't make sense," Tonks said.

"It's Remus!" Harry said. "If he finds out they took her, he'll just go after her himself. They're not kidnapping Kaitlin to use her to bait us-."

"They're using her to bait Remus to kill him to set you off," Tonks said, obviously dissolving into a worried mess now.

"I'll go with Tonks to find him," Ginny said.

Tonks and Ginny both took off down the hall.

"What do we do?" Draco asked.

"Nothing we can do right now. They're not going to kill her just yet so we have to hurry up before Voldemort gets too antsy. As far as he knows, we don't even know she's gone yet," I said. "We have to search that room."

Harry pulled the door to the Room of Requirement open and there before stood an endless cavern of stuff.

"Hoarders: Buried Alive," Pansy said.

"Wow, Pansy, I didn't know you had a sense of humor," I said as we walked inside.

"I do, you just didn't think my last joke was funny—the virginity hat," Pansy said.

"In retrospect, it was pretty hilarious," I said.

"Anyway, what are we looking for?" Pansy asked.

"Ravenclaw's diadem," Harry said.

"Isn't that lost?" she asked.

"Not since Voldemort found it a while back," I said.

"Ah, well why are we looking for it?" Pansy asked.

"Because if we don't find it and destroy it then Voldemort will live forever," I said.

". . . Yep, I'm done asking questions," Pansy said.

"Where are Kristen and Blaise?" Harry asked.

"They said something about Longbottom, a catapult, a cheese wheel, and mandrakes," Kassia replied.

"Alright. And now I'm done asking questions," Harry said.

"Accio diadem," Kassia said.

"Channeling Hermione are you?" Harry asked.

"Look, there!" Draco pointed.

At the very top of a high stack of stuff was the diadem, sitting in a glass case for all the world to see.

"Great, now we've just got to get up there," Kassia said.

"Unfortunately I left my rocket boots at home. If only I knew this situation would arise," Pansy said.

"You are not helping," I said.

"There's only one thing we can do—human pyramid," Kassia said.

"How is that our only option?" Harry asked.

"Because you haven't thought of anything else," Draco said.

"What about a basket toss?" Pansy asked. "We throw Tiny Potter up I the air and she can grab it and we'll catch her when she comes back down."

"That might actually work," I said.

"Let's do it then," Harry said.

The four of them joined together and with one great shove tossed me into the air. They were much stronger than they looked apparently because I went high enough to grab the diadem before crashing back down, leaving the five of us in a giant pile-up.

"What are you lot doing?" Hermione had returned with Ron, carrying an armful of basilisk fangs and a destroyed Hufflepuff cup.

"We got the diadem," I said as we got to our feet. "What've you got there?"

"We went to the chamber of secrets," Ron said.

"Well, we thought about the fact that Griphook blew us off and took the Sword of Gryffindor so we didn't really have anything to destroy the 'stuff' with. So, Ron came up with the brilliant idea to go into the chamber, take basilisk teeth and use their venom to get rid of it," Hermione said.

"Ron and brilliant idea. Words never before uttered in the same sentence," Harry said.

"How did you get inside?" I asked.

"Well when you opened the locket, you said something in pareseltongue. I just repeated that. Took a few tries but I got it," he said.

"Well . . . Good work," I said.

The ground shook beneath us.

"The fighting must be getting serious," I said.

"Half the school is destroyed already," Hermione said.

"Oh, no!" Ron shouted. "The elves! In the kitchens! We should tell them to leave right? We can't ask them to die for us can?"

There was the clatter of teeth falling to the ground and then before our eyes the Ron/Hermione era began again with their faces locked together.

We all groaned. "Oi! People we're in the middle of a war here!"

"They have Kaitlin," Draco said.

"What?" Hermione asked.

"They ambushed them at Shell Cottage. Took Kaitlin. Ginny is looking for Remus. We think they're after him," I said. "Hopefully she's staying put in the Great Hall."

"In the meanwhile, we're going to be destroying this," Harry said taking a tooth from the ground and tossing it to me. "Do the honors."

"Me?" I asked.

"Yep. This one's you. I did the diary. Ron did the locket," Harry said.

"I did the cup," Hermione said.

"Your turn," Harry said.

I knelt down over the diadem and held the tooth in hand. I hoped he could feel this. I slammed the tooth down into the diadem and it dissolved away.

"And now the lost diadem is really lost," Kassia said.

"Now what?" Ron asked.

"Well, if Dumbledore destroyed the ring, that just leaves the snake," I said.

"Well we don't have time to stand around and congregate. We've got work to do," Harry said. We could hear spells and explosions from downstairs.

"How do we find dear Voldykins?" I asked.

"We go into his mind," Harry said. "Or you do."

"I do?" I asked. "Again, why me?"

"Because you've got a better connection. I'm like a wireless Internet connection and you're like an ethernet cord," he said.

"What the hell does that even mean?" I asked. "You know I don't speak Muggle."

"Hannah, just do it!" Harry demanded.

"So, bossy," I said. I closed my eyes and tried my best and somehow found my way there to his mind.

He was with Nagini, he'd summoned Snape. He was in the Shrieking Shack.

I snapped away. "Shrieking Shack, and he's requested the presence of our buddy, Severus."

"Then I'm going with you," Kassia said.

I turned to Draco and Pansy. "No you may not come."

"Good," Pansy said.

"Why?" Draco asked.

"Because, Voldemort will kill you for telling him to go to Hell if he sees you. He told everyone that story. He was pissed," Pansy said. "Besides, I'm sure you're more useful when it comes to helping every here than going to kill his snake."

"Well spoken Pansy," I said.

"Thank you," she replied.

"Stop being friendly . . .It's weird," Ron said.

I rolled my eyes.

Suddenly there was a large explosion just down the hall, and a scream. Then the panic of familiar voices—George and Ginny.

We raced down the hallway and saw the pile of rubble and Ginny and George frantically pulling away the rocks.

"What happened?" Hermione asked.

"There was an explosion! Fred is trapped underneath," Ginny said frantically.

We all started pulling away at the rocks more and more and more until we could see at least his hand. He wasn't moving at all.

We kept going and going until we were able to pull him out. He wasn't moving, he wasn't breathing.

"Come on, Fred, wake up," we all urged him.

A knot was forming in my chest. He wasn't responding. I was going to explode. Fred just couldn't be dead.

[Chapter title credit to Good Charlotte for the song "I Just Wanna Live"]