See Chapter 1 for warnings
Stiles Stella Stilinski (Or Finding Out Who You Really Are)
38
"Peter has a point," Deaton's annoyingly calm tone says, I can't see where he is though, my view is somewhat limited by my dad. "Stiles will suffer if you try and separate them." Dad's tenses, "But then again, Stiles is legally too young for Peter, so supervision is going to be required at all times. But perhaps it's best if Stiles sits down before she falls down."
I am only standing up now because dad's holding me up. Gently dad leads me off towards the couch we'd normally sit on. I notice he puts himself between me and Peter, so Peter can't follow. Collapsing onto the couch I'm quickly joined by dad and then Mel is sitting down on my other side so I'm engulfed in a giant hug on both sides.
Dad called me daughter, and now Deaton's just called me 'she', I don't understand. Why aren't they freaking out about this? I'm so damn confused, I have no idea what to make of any of this.
Mel is patting my arm, "Are you hungry honey?" She looks concerned and worried and not like I'm a disgusting something that shouldn't exist. My stomach answers for me and she chuckles, "I'll get you some soup, it won't be long."
"Stay," Peter says, "I'll get it," and he doesn't wait for her to reply he just walks out of the room, I'm guessing to go to the kitchen.
Narrowing her eyes Mel does stay, I don't think she liked Peter telling her what to do. This thing with him is not going to go that well, not if he keeps antagonising dad and Mel.
Deaton's sitting on the other couch, along with Isaac, Boyd, and Erika. The guys keep wiping at their eyes with tissues, their eyes look sore even from over here. Scott and Allison are sitting on some chairs from the dining room, they're holding hands and Scott perks up when I look at him. My eyes skip on and fall onto Jackson and Lydia, they're also on chairs from the dining room. Lydia's face is puffy and her eyes are red rimmed, meaning she's probably been crying. Jackson is sitting stiffly and his t-shirt is ripped, there's blood soaked through it, and his jeans are a mess too, he doesn't look at me. Danny's in one of the armchairs, he gives me a thumbs up. Derek is in the other armchair and he's got his brooding face on. Chris is still leaning on the doorframe.
No one says anything, it's a very awkward silence and then Peter's sailing in with a tray. He puts the tray on my lap, it's just chicken soup from a can, and then he fusses a bit, before he goes to sit on the floor at Isaac's feet. He turns so he can look at me, he manages to do it in the most creepy way possible, it's just so Peter.
Picking up the spoon I start on the soup. The smell of it reminds my stomach of its empty status and I have to remind myself to eat slowly. No need to overload my stomach or burn my tongue. There's a little pill sitting to one side on the tray. My Adderall. Damn, I forgot to take any with me, the withdrawals from it are not pretty, some of what I'm experiencing now could be amplified by the start of withdrawals. Snatching up the pill I dry swallow it and carry on with my soup.
"Well," Deaton breaks the silence, "Shall we begin this Pack meeting? We need to discuss what happened in the school and the consequences of it."
I freeze with the spoon halfway to my mouth.
Isaac puts his hand up, "I'm all for exile from the Pack," he tries to glare at Lydia but its hard when his eyes keep watering.
"Seconded," Boyd puts his hand up, Erika quickly follows him.
"All in favour?" Peter asks and raises his hand too. Surprisingly Danny, Scott and Allison also raise their hands.
"No," Chris moves into the room, "We can't exile him, not without him going feral before he graduates, or finding him another Pack meaning we have to convince his parents to move. We need another option, one that keeps him here but will negate his ability to attack or harm any of his Pack the way he did with Stiles."
They're picking me over Jackson?
Scowling Jackson simply crosses his arms and acts like this is all beneath him.
"And what about Peter's crimes?" Lydia flings a hand towards him. "Stiles is underage and sex is illegal."
Everyone looks at Peter who smirks, "Oh my dear Lydia, I have not had sex, sexual contact, kissed, or anything else that would constitute breaking that pesky little age restriction law. I might not be the most patient of men, but I refuse to jeopardise my future with Stiles by messing things up now." Twisting to stare at her he adds, "I'll bet Jackson can smell my scent and Stiles' mingling and become something else, but I also bet that he's not caught even the slightest whiff of sex on Stiles."
If anything Jackson is even more closed off and Lydia has her thinking look on.
"Hmm," Deaton is studying Jackson, "Well if the reason for Jackson's outburst isn't to protect Stiles from Peter, then I'm curious as to what triggered it off?" And everyone is back to staring at Jackson.
Reaching out Lydia's hand rests on his arm, "Jackson was trying to protect me. He's the one who always has to see me through the nightmares I'm having because of what Peter did to me. He told me about the scent thing. He didn't tell me about the girl thing though."
Rolling his eyes Peter asks, "These nightmares, are they all about me? Or are you dreaming about people? People you might not have even met? People that are dying, either through old age, or accidents, or other means?"
Shocked Lydia stares at him, "How did you know?"
"Because you're a banshee Lydia, because you will always be drawn to death, think back, there will have been instances in the past, it's in your blood, it's why you didn't turn when I Bit you, it's why you were able to bring me back," Peter huffs in annoyance. "I only Bit you to start with as leverage over Stiles, and so I could use you to boost my power, if you'd have turned I never would have died when I did. Instead I died, your emerging abilities linked yourself to me and allowed me in to influence you into saving me. And here I am."
He makes it sound so simple.
"We still would have beaten you," Scott says, "Stiles and Jackson brought the Molotov cocktails, you'd still have burned up, Derek still would have slashed your throat."
Snorting Peter shakes his head, "No. I would have won. Even with the snapping of yours and Derek's bonds to me, I still would have had Lydia to draw on. I would have been stronger, faster, much more lethal. I wouldn't have made the same mistake of catching the flask Stiles threw at me. I probably would have just killed, or Bitten, Stiles and Jackson in a rage and then slaughtered the rest of you. So we all got lucky with Lydia's hidden ability. She saved all of us.
"You don't understand the massive boost you gave me when I Bit you Scott. I was still so injured that most of the power went into healing, the boost from Lydia would have gone straight into raw violence, I would, very briefly, have been near invulnerable. I calculated when the boost would hit and how long I'd have to rescue Derek from the hunters, it would have given me enough time to get him out of there and kill any hunters foolish enough to try and stop me, like Kate," the smile he gives is not a nice smile.
Derek stirs, "I didn't feel a boost with Isaac, Erika, or Boyd."
"Did you feel calmer though?" Peter asks, "Settled, more in control, the drive for Pack no longer pushing you?" Derek nods, "Then that was your boost, even greater control, because for an Alpha you never lose control. Even Talia was known for putting her fist through the odd wall if pushed too far, and I've yet to see you lose even an ounce of control. The increased strength and stamina don't overwhelm you, you're perfectly balanced, there's was no learning curve for you, you simply evolved without incident."
Wow, he's right, Derek might have been an asshole and gone around Biting teens, but he asked them first, and even with his increased strength he didn't hurt the breakable humans, like me, he was just shit at being an Alpha. He still is, being the one in command does not suit him, he's not much of a leader.
"But," Lydia stares at Peter and he shrugs calmly before staring at me again. "No, the nightmares, you're the reason for the nightmares."
Deaton stands up and walks over to Lydia, "May I?" He hold his hand out and she nods at him. All he does is touch her shoulder, "Peter is correct, you're a banshee Lydia, and a strong one too, your abilities must have woken up a little earlier because of the Bite."
"Earlier?" She asks.
"Yes, most banshees mature at around eighteen, at the moment you're only a fledgling, your power is incredibly weak. Normally banshees have their power come to fruition all at once, and they tend to go mad, bombarded by the visions of the deaths of others most die young. Should a banshee waken early they have a chance to learn their abilities so they don't get overwhelmed. Strange that you've been left all these years, has no one in your family tried to contact you? Offered to take you in? Teach you?"
Shaking her head she says, "No, no one," she pauses, "Wait, my dad's aunt did, but she lives on the other side of the country, my parents might be busy fighting and trying to use me against each other, but they'd never let me move."
"Hmm, well, we'll have to see about getting you some kind of lessons, some way to block, or control your visions, and your screams. At the moment they'll only hurt the ears of the more supernatural people around you, in time they'll deafen and even kill humans, animals, anyone near you when you keen," Deaton sits down like he hasn't just dropped a bombshell.
I always knew she was dangerous, I didn't think it would be because she could scream people to death though.
"No," Jackson unfolds his arms, "It's Peter's fault, he's the reason for the nightmares. He's the reason for all of this. He Bit Scott, he killed Laura, he chased us through the school, he murdered all those people, he mauled Lydia. We nearly killed him and then Derek took the Alpha power from him. Everything starts with Peter." He's almost desperate, like he's trying to convince himself.
"No," Deaton leans back, calmly, damn him, how is he always so calm? "I think you'll find that your rather late attempt to protect Lydia, combined with your misplaced anger at Peter, is clouding your judgement.
"Kate Argent murdered the Hales leaving a very damaged Peter behind. He was never a good person to start with, it broke the last pieces of Peter. He then got his insanity driven revenge, in the process Laura was murdered, the murderers and others were murdered, Scott was Bitten, and various other terrible events occurred." Deaton looks like he's discussing something simple like the weather. "You spent a lot of that time trying to become a werewolf, to become something other than human," the arrogance falls off of Jackson's face replacing it with something like fear.
"Yet when you finally got your wish your inner self was reflected outwardly, you became a kanima, lost, untethered, it took Peter remembering about human love to save you Jackson. It took Lydia's love, the same love you rejected, to save you." Wrapping his arms around his middle Jackson turns his head to stare at the floor. "So stop. Just stop. Really look at yourself and your actions Jackson, because if you manage to drive away your Pack, you will lose an anchor. Lose Lydia too, and you become the kanima again, lost, just a puppet, just a thing to be used. And those dreams you've probably been having? Yes, they're real, you are reliving every single murder Matt and Gerard forced you to commit. Those feelings you drown in when you sleep are the kanima's, the loss of control is how helpless all kamina's feel, they search for a friend but only ever find a master. To be a kanima is a curse, don't fall prey to it."
The mechanic flashes through my head, the image of the lowering hydraulics that haunts my nightmares dances in front of my eyes. Blinking I shove more soup in my mouth to distract myself. Jackson and Lydia aren't the only ones with nightmares.
Danny sits up, "Fine, I can see that Lydia and Jackson have been suffering, but that doesn't explain why Jackson attacked Stiles. What did she do to deserve that? She's done nothing to either of them."
Neither Jackson nor Lydia will look at him and Peter laughs, "Oh you young idiots, you really did think I was fucking Stiles, you couldn't get to me, so you went for Stiles. You decided to use Stiles against me." He laughs louder, "Oh that's funny, you went for the person that bargained for Lydia's life on that field, the same person who refused to leave until Jackson was called to come and 'save' her. You went for the person that risked everything again and again. Who wanted to kill Jackson but still stole police property to keep him safe in. You tried to destroy someone that you both owe your lives to, oh to be young, and so very, very stupid."
Lydia's staring at me stunned, her hand falls to her side, the side with the scars. Jackson crumples and then his face twists up, "Even if she isn't fucking you, she's still a girl, she's still a freak," he spits the last word out and I flinch.
Jumping out of his chair Danny lunges for Jackson, they tumble backwards and Danny pins Jackson to the floor. That shouldn't happen, Jackson's a werewolf, he can easily lift Danny off of him. "Don't you ever use that word again Jackson. You promised. You promised me. Remember when I came out, do you remember all the shit that happened? Do you?" Danny's all but screaming it at Jackson, "Do you remember how you found me? Do you remember what you said to me?" Clambering off of Jackson, Danny stares down at him, "Why would you do that? Why would you be my Uncle? How could you do that? How could you break your promise to me?"
"Danny," Jackson stays on his back, showing his belly to Danny, "It wasn't. I wouldn't. You don't understand. I would never. Not that."
"That," Danny interrupts him, "You tried to do that. You broke your promise to me. And for your information people who are Trans are more likely to end up where I was. Why do you think we all flipped out when Stiles went missing? Do you ever think of anyone but yourself? I'm not your parents Jackson, I won't measure my love for you against how well you do, I don't care about that, I care about you, but you have screwed up so much right now. I don't even want to look at you," and then Danny storms out of the room saying he needs something to drink.
Jackson stays on the floor and stares brokenly at the ceiling like someone cut his strings and he's stuck there.
"Speaking of Stiles," Deaton gives that creepy calm smile, "Were you able to contain the spread to just the few teachers at school?"
Beside me dad stirs, he's glaring at Jackson, not that I think Jackson even knows any of us are here. "For now the only people that know are Ms Morrell, Mr Harris, and the principle. They've promised not to say anything, but Ms Morrell has said she's more than happy to be there for Stiles whenever she needs her."
"So Stiles is safe," Deaton says, "And we only have two wayward Pack members to discipline, their actions were incredibly reckless and could have done considerable damage. Their punishments should match their crime, but how to punish them and hide the Pack?"
Raising her head Lydia answers him, "Firstly, Jackson and I need to be publicly punished. Jackson attacked Stiles. I pepper sprayed Isaac and Boyd who tried to break up the fight. Both of us will be forced to face the human version of our actions. And then you will have to decide our private punishments, the ones the non-Pack don't need to know about."
"Perhaps those last punishments should be thought about first," Deaton stands up and brushes down his legs, "When we're all calmer. Now I have a clinic to run. And I believe Stiles needs to sleep, I doubt she's had much rest," he nods to everyone and then starts getting ready to leave.
It triggers everyone else to get ready to leave, though all the wolves come over and kneel down in front of me to hug my legs, gently. They let me know they're here for me and then Peter does the same. He smiles up at me with his chin barely touching my knee, "Sleep well Stiles Stella, remember the pain we pulled will mask the overused muscles, be gentle with yourself. You know my cell number if you need me."
When Derek kneels to me he rubs a cheek against my knee and simply says, "Pack, always."
Allison and Chris leave last. Scott stays behind, I guess he's living here then. Just one big happy family.
"Stiles," dad still has his arm around me, "Would you like a nap? Did you get any sleep when you left? Do you need Mel to patch anything up? Shit I didn't think to ask if you need to go to the hospital, I was just too happy to see you home."
He's so earnest, he means it, he really wants to make sure I'm okay, because he cares about me, love me, for now. Until Scott steals him away again, and the worst part is, Scott won't even have to do anything.
"I could do with a shower," I admit, because I stink, "Maybe something to drink?"
"Okay, whatever you want," he says, "Let me help you with the stairs," we stand up, and then to my utter embarrassment, dad sort of dips down and I'm being carried bridal style.
"Dad," I try and protest.
"Stop wiggling Stiles, just hold on, I won't drop you," oh my god, I can't believe he's doing this.
Mel is no help and rolls her eyes at him, "Men! Jon, put her down before you drop her, Stiles is more than capable of walking up the stairs and it will help her stretch her muscles out."
Instead dad just holds me tighter, "Mel, I can carry my daughter up the stairs, she's been through a lot."
Crossing her arms Mel asks, "And if Stiles were a boy? Would you still help her up the stairs or would you do that strange macho thing? Don't you dare treat Stiles as less just because you know she's a girl now."
Sighing dad does put me down, "I'm not going to treat her any differently Mel, but she has been through a lot."
"I know," Mel wedges herself between us, "So you get to make her a drink, and I'll help her up the stairs, she can shower and sleep." Dad tries arguing but Mel shoots him down and shoos him off, "Okay, that bought us just a few minutes before he goes all over protective on you again. Let's get you upstairs at least."
Leaning on her we make it up the stairs and into the bathroom, she fetches my pyjamas and then she helps me strip to my underwear and t-shirt. "You should be able to handle this bit kiddo," she runs her fingers through my hair. "Leave the door unlocked and I'll lurk outside the door in case you need me."
It takes longer than it should to get out of the last of my clothes and then shower. The water is heavenly against my skin. I scrub away the sweat and dirt leaving myself clean and not ready to face anything. Drying myself and pulling on my pyjamas I stagger out of the bathroom, Mel catches me and helps me to my bedroom.
Dad is waiting with a mug of something. Mel gets me settled into bed and then I get to drink dad's offering of warm sweet milk. He used to make me this when I was younger and I couldn't sleep. Sipping the milk I can feel it warm me all the way through and I slurp the last bits out of the mug, "Better?" He asks me.
I nod and let him tuck me in, they both fuss over me and when I yawn they leave me to sleep. I can't believe dad just accepted me like that. I can't believe he called me his daughter. I never dared to hope that he could ever find out about me and be okay with it. It's like I just got handed a miracle. I miracle I am going to be grateful for, for the rest of my life.
On the flip side I can believe that Lydia and Jackson got to walk out of the house, Lydia's good at what she does and her little speech about being punished worked. They outted me. They told people about me. Lydia might not have known about me at first, but she didn't care, not as long as she got her revenge on Peter, I was just collateral damage, I was nothing to them.
And Scott.
Perfect fucking Scott is back. He'll worm his way back in. Everyone will stop wanting me around, they'll go back to crushing on him, and frankly he's so easy to get on with compared to me.
The only one that will stick with me is Peter, and they took Peter away from me. There are no blue eyes watching me through my window, no warm body to curl up around, I try to use a pillow but it's not the same. They let Lydia and Jackson off the hook so quickly, they let Scott back in, and they made Peter leave me.
Clinging to the pillow I oscillate between drowning under gratitude they're accepting me as me, and rage at everyone for not punishing Jackson and Lydia, for welcoming Scott back so easily, for forcing me to lose Peter.
Squeezing my eyes shut I let the warm milk do its thing. As it cools it will trick my body into going to sleep, the lowering temperature flipping biological switches inside me. I just have to survive until I'm eighteen, just a little longer, and then I can have Peter back. By then dad and Mel will have Scott. Jackson will be MVP again, and Lydia will be back on top of the social pyramid.
By then no one else will want me.
A/N: Sorry for any and all mistakes, I've tried to catch those I could, but I'm only human.
Because everyone should be accepted by their families, not shunned, not thrown out, not made to feel like they're not human. You are human, you are normal, you are perfectly you.